6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Christian

It was almost Halloween, and Darren was relentless in getting to know me. I had no idea why. No one else had been that eager to be friends. Was he interested in more than friendship? He didn't come across as someone who liked boys, but what did I know other than sexuality was fluid? Darren could have been in the closet with being a football star and all.

Regardless, he'd made no move to ask me out or explain why he'd been so pushy to talk to me for the past couple of months. Not like I was familiar with the world of dating or flirting. I'd never had a boyfriend before, so I had no idea if he was even interested in me or not. It could be about friendship, but it seemed like more than that.

As I got to know Darren, I noticed he seemed to be the type of person who pushed hard for what he wanted. He also wasn't the knuckle dragger I'd expected him to be as a football jock. As someone who tutored some of the football players so they could keep up their mediocre grades, Darren's level of intelligence and making straight As surprised me. He pursued football and his education as hard as he pursued this weird friendship we'd developed.

And just like every day since I allowed him to talk to me, he was by my side, walking me to lunch or to class.

"I like your earrings," he said in his too-cute country drawl as we headed toward the cafeteria. It wasn't the first time he'd paid me such compliments, making me question his intentions. He often told me my lacy tops were pretty, or that I looked really good in burgundy.

I touched the dangling pearl, tucked my growing hair behind my ear, and smiled shyly. "My grandmother gave them to me when I moved here. They belonged to her when she was a girl."

"They look good on you."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Darren… You gay now? That your boyfriend?" said a guy as we walked down the hall.

I winced. I always heard what the kids said about me. Years of being bullied made me hyper-focused on my surroundings, so I rarely missed the snide comments or slurs. That wasn't the worst I'd heard, but I felt the volcano about to erupt, and not from me. Darren definitely had anger issues, which kept me from completely opening up to him.

Darren spun on his heels, grabbed the guy by his shirt, and shoved him against the lockers. "What'd you say, Mikey? You being a homophobe prick? Shut your mouth before I make it so you can never speak again."

I gently touched Darren's forearm and tugged it away from the suddenly terrified boy, who obviously couldn't rub two brain cells together with the way he talked to Darren. He instantly reacted to me as if I could tame a wild beast, and let Mikey go.

"It's not worth it, Darren. You'll get kicked out of school and lose everything. Just let it go. I have. "

Darren shoved the boy against the locker again and stepped back, pointing. "Shut your mouth."

We continued to walk to the cafeteria, and I could still feel the angry vibes coming from him. "Sorry. That shit pisses me off."

I shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be used to it."

Darren suddenly stopped, and I turned to face him. His eyes were focused on the floor as he shifted from foot to foot. "I used to be like him… say that shit."

His vulnerability surprised me, so I touched his arm again. He looked at me with his large green eyes, which were so pretty when he wasn't so intense and angry. I especially liked the flecks of yellow in them.

"But you're not like that anymore," I said.

His face softened, and he smiled. "Thanks for saying that. It's been hard to get people to see me as someone other than a bully. But then you get pricks like him, and… it's like all I've worked for goes out the window."

"Your angry reactions definitely don't help, but I get it. I know better, and so do your friends. That's all that should matter."

"Christian?"

"Yeah?"

"Uhm, since we had practice this morning, we don't need to stay after school. Can you… meet me by the bleachers?"

"Sure."

My grandad planned to pick me up from school because he was off work, but I would text him to wait for me.

"Can you eat lunch with us today?"

He'd asked me several times, but Dani was uncomfortable around him. No doubt being around Dillon could also be intimidating. Though he was really cool and humble, that didn't make him any less popular.

"I'll, ah, ask Dani and Jasmine."

"They can sit with us."

"Yeah, thanks."

I didn't bother to explain their reluctance. Darren was an intelligent guy. He would figure it out.

"If I can't, I'll see you after school, okay?"

He nodded and walked off to the lunch line since I'd brought my lunch today.

Suddenly, my stomach decided it was time to twist and turn. Was this it? Did Darren plan to ask me out? Or was it something else? If he did want to ask me out, what would I say? Was I attracted to him? He was really cute. When he wasn't scowling, he had a sweet face and pretty eyes. I also liked his intelligence. If I dated anyone, they'd have to make good grades and have goals, and Darren had that in abundance. But he also still made me nervous because he negatively reacted to things so easily.

I sat down with Dani and Jasmine as I emptied my lunch bag, which contained a water bottle, a salami-and-cheddar sandwich, some potato chips, and a container filled with assorted berries.

"Darren wants us to sit with him," I said.

Dani shoved her glasses up her nose and shook her head. "They're super popular. It makes me too nervous. I'll stutter and look like an idiot."

I chuckled. "Dillon and Cade seem down to earth. I doubt they'd care. Darren is intense, but he's cool."

Jasmine tucked light brown waves behind her ears, which were a little too large, but I found them cute. She narrowed her dark brown eyes at me. "You've been spending a lot of time with him."

I shrugged. "Darren's persistent."

"Does he like you?" Dani asked.

"He hasn't said anything. For now, he only seems interested in talking to me. Then again, I haven't told him I'm gay, either, so maybe not."

Jasmine took a bite of mac and cheese out of a small container. "Yeah, but he's Darren . He just doesn't seem to be the type to hang around someone…"

"Someone like me? "

She shrugged and smiled meekly. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're gorgeous. But he's Darren ," she reiterated. "There must be something he wants."

I didn't know why I felt the need to defend him. Despite my best efforts, Dani and Jasmine still saw him as a bully. He must have been awful back then. I had no doubt it was his size, too, since he was bigger than most adults.

"He's cool and surprisingly vulnerable, at least to me. You'd be surprised by how intelligent and insightful he is, not just with his grades. Darren has really grown on me. I think you'd like him if you took the time to get to know him. And Dillon is totally chill, no matter how popular he is. Cade talks a lot, and he's so sweet."

While those things were true, I'd only gotten snippets of Darren. There was only so much you could talk about and learn within a few moments between walking to class or lunch.

"Fine, next time," Dani said. "But if I look like a moron, just punch me."

I laughed. "I'm not punching you. Besides, you are perfectly perfect and adorable. They will like you and Jasmine both."

Those butterflies ate at my stomach again as I hefted my satchel draped across my shoulder and tightened my sweater around my front as the gust of wind chilled my bones. I was always cold, not having any body fat, which was why I couldn't stand winter. The trees in the distance were pretty, though, filled with oranges and reds.

I walked across the parking lot and out toward the bleachers, looking for Darren, who was hard to miss .

I found him staring out at the field, watching the track team run around. I sat next to him, and he glanced at me with a shy smile on his face. Shyness from him was such a rarity, and I'd seen it twice today.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

I removed my bag, placed it next to me, and bundled up my sweater tighter.

"So, I'm here," I said.

"Thanks for coming."

Darren twisted his body, always a forceful and imposing presence, even when he tried not to be.

"So, uhm, I asked you to meet me because… well, shit. I've never done this with a guy before, but I'm just going to say it. I'm bisexual and I've known for a while now." He huffed a laugh as my stomach dipped. God, it always did that around Darren. "I used to have the biggest crush on Dillon, just like everyone else on the planet. No one knows about me except for him and Cade… and now you."

"Thank you for telling me and being honest. I understand how hard it is to come out to people."

He nodded and ran his hands across his massive thighs. "So, I'm telling you because… I don't know if you like guys or not, but…" He turned, lifted a leg over the bleacher, and straddled it. "If you do, I'd like to ask you out. You're so pretty, Christian. I haven't been able to take my eyes off you since the first day of school when you crashed into me. And as we get to know each other, I like you even more. You're really nice and patient, which is something I really need."

I hadn't expected to get angry with him. In fact, I'd expected to say yes and to give him a chance. He was being all vulnerable, and here I wanted to snap at him. While I loved being called pretty… Ugh.

"I'm not a girl," I hissed.

So much for my patience.

"What? "

"I may be feminine, but I'm still a guy, and I like being a guy—a guy who just likes pretty things because pretty things belong to everyone, not just to girls. And girls wear guy things all the time."

His green eyes blew wide. "Yeah, I know you're a damn guy. I'm not asking you out to be my fucking girlfriend." He deflated and sighed. "Sorry, I mean, I didn't even assume you were gay. Well, I did at first, but Cade said that you could be straight, or asexual, or… He told me not to assume those things. But how do I know if you don't tell me? So, I outed myself to you, hoping you'd like me back."

My entire body deflated from guilt. "Sorry I got defensive. I've only been asked out once, and the guy thought I was a girl. He was pissed to find out otherwise. To this day, I've always believed he did it intentionally."

"Yeah? Well, he's a jerk and a fucking moron. You're definitely pretty, but you're clearly a guy."

I smiled and relaxed. "He really was. Anyway, yes, I like boys, too. I'm quite open about it, so I'm not sure why I haven't told you."

"You're still wary of me."

I shrugged. "A little, but I do like you."

Darren perked up and smiled. "You do?"

"I do."

"So, can I ask you out?"

I playfully pushed his shoulder, and he didn't even budge an inch. "You can …"

"But will you say yes?"

"I might," I teased.

His smile was sweet and shy, which was so unlike him. I loved how his pretty green eyes peeked out from behind thick blond lashes and shimmered in his joy. He needed to do that more. It would help people warm up to him.

But then he frowned .

"Unfortunately, I can't be very open. Football would eat me alive, and it's my dream. Dad's a piece of shit and a homophobe, too. I'm telling you so you know what you're getting into with me. It's not that I'm afraid of how people will react, but they could kick me off the team, and football is my best chance of getting out of this hellhole."

"Honestly, I figured as much. That's why I'm a little surprised you opened up to me and asked me out. That's pretty brave in my book and self-accepting as well."

"Really?"

"Yes. I wouldn't dream of getting in the way of your goals, and I would expect you'd do the same for me."

He nodded excitedly. "Yeah, I'd never do that. So, is that a…"

"It's a yes, Darren."

"Fuck yeah!"