5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Darren

I couldn't stop looking at him. Christian Mallory was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in my life. He even surpassed Dillon. Each day over the past week, he'd step into biology class, and my breath would catch every fucking time.

Fuck, and the color of his hair looked like raspberry sorbet. Stunning.

He was the perfect specimen of androgyny. I had no idea I would find that attractive, but I did now. And each day I saw him, I'd check out his latest outfit.

Not once had I seen a guy enjoy wearing women's clothes, and he was so open and free about it—fearless. It didn't matter if he was skittish around me. No doubt kids had been telling him I'd been a bully, but I aimed to remedy that .

You had to be fearless and brave to go against the norms, freeing you to be yourself. It was refreshing and opened my eyes to the kind of person I really wanted to be.

Christian was not only gorgeous, but he was also inspiring. The more I saw him, the more I wanted him to be mine.

That didn't stop kids from using slurs and sneering in the halls, but whenever I heard them talk about Christian in any other way than mentioning how perfect he was, I'd put the fear of god into them. He had no idea I did that, and I had no intention of telling him.

Today, he wore a black blouse-looking thing with large daisies all over it, a yellow cardigan that swept off his shoulder on one side, and a pair of baggy jeans. His eyes were almost the color of his hair and rimmed with smudged black eyeliner, though he didn't wear makeup every day. He topped it all off with lip gloss. Was it flavored? Did he taste like raspberries?

When he sat next to me, I was enveloped in his scent. He wore something different each day. How many colognes did he have? I didn't recognize any of them since I didn't wear the stuff, but I was sure glad he did. This one, in particular, smelled a bit sweet and spicy. I bet he was sweet and spicy, too.

I sighed like some damn teen girl.

"Hey, Christian. How's it hangin'?"

"F-fine…"

His copper-penny eyes were so large with thick, black lashes.

"Are you coming to the game tonight? We're on before the varsity team."

He shook his head, wavy red locks bouncing.

"You should. They're fun. You can watch me crush it out there."

His dark eyes went even wider, and he pretended to search for something in his satchel, pulling out a pencil with a unicorn eraser.

God, he was so cute.

I imagined him sitting on my lap, kissing those sweet, plump lips, falling in love with the taste of berries.

I really needed to find a way to get him to open up and talk to me, but I didn't know how. I dated a girl once last year, but that only lasted for about three weeks. Trying to date had been hard, which was my fault, given the reputation I was still trying hard to erase.

After class, I followed behind him, watching him hook his arm around Dani's as they walked to lunch, laughing and chatting. When some dickweed said something shitty to Christian as he walked past, I glared at the asshole until he cowered and shut the hell up. There was still some benefit to my reputation.

I quickly grabbed my lunch and sat next to Cade. Dillon hadn't shown up yet.

We chatted for a bit before I tested the waters with my sexuality. Cade and I had been friends for a year now, so I shouldn't be afraid, right?

I leaned forward so no one else would hear. "There's a new kid here at school that I'm crushing on. He's in my biology and Spanish classes."

Cade's dark brown eyes bugged out. " He? "

"Shhh."

"Uh, okay. I didn't know you liked dudes. When I said you were closeted that day, I was kidding."

"I dunno. Maybe I'm bi or something. He's just really pretty. I don't think he likes me too much, though."

I definitely knew my sexuality, but I wanted to downplay it with Cade for some reason, probably because he'd called me out on my shit that day by the funhouse.

"Why? Because you're a scary Yeti?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. But I can be a teddy bear when I want."

He laughed and shook his head, his dark golden curls bouncing. "Sure you can. A teddy bear with teeth and claws. "

My breath caught again when I saw Christian carrying a tray full of food, looking around for his friends. Maybe with Cade here, he'd be less afraid, so I waved him over. "Yo, Christian! Come sit with us."

My little fawn looked terrified and ran off.

"Dammit!"

"See, you're scary."

I shoved the rest of my burger into my mouth, trying not to pout. How did I get Christian to trust me?

Just then, Dillon sat down. "What are we talking about?"

"Apparently, our Darren likes boys now," Cade explained. At least Dillon already knew, but I should've told Cade not to open his big fucking mouth. You didn't blurt out shit like that.

"Who?"

"That new boy, Christian," I said.

"Oh, the cute redhead? Yeah, I've got him in my algebra class."

If Dillon hadn't been so obsessed with Cade, his comment would have sent the jealousy searing through me. Still, I huffed in irritation.

"I can't get him to talk to me. Someone must have told him about my old ways."

"Just keep being yourself, Dare," Dillon said. "He'll come around. I know it's been hard to break people's view of you from how you used to be, but people are starting to see that you've changed."

I picked up a fry but tossed it back onto the plate. "I guess. It's hard, though. I really like him and want him to like me back."

"Are you sure he's even into guys?" Cade asked.

Huh. "Well, I guess I just assumed."

"Not all guys who enjoy pretty things are gay. Christian could be non-binary, for all you know, and may like girls. Or he could be asexual. Maybe he's as straight as an arrow," Cade explained.

These sexualities were confusing. I didn't even think about that. "Well, shit. If he likes girls, he definitely won't like me. "

Cade elbowed me. "Just get to know him, and hopefully, he'll come around. Once he does, I'm sure he'll be open about his sexuality. If not, then…" He shrugged.

"I guess. But that's good to know."

"Or you could just ask what pronouns Christian uses," Dillon suggested, popping a baby carrot into his mouth. "Sometimes that opens them up to who they are. Christian seems confident in who he is, so I doubt his sexuality would be a secret."

That would definitely help. "I'll do that. Thanks."

After Spanish class, I followed Christian again, but this time, I walked alongside him. God, he was short, at least compared to me. I just wanted to hold him, maybe carry him around. Was that weird? Probably.

Shit, what if he likes shes ?

"Hey, Christian."

He looked up at me wide-eyed again, his irises matching his hair—a common expression for him. He quickly recovered, stopped in his tracks, and placed his hands on his hips, huffing adorably.

Just looking at him like that made me all mushy inside. I really liked people who had an inner strength.

"Stop talking to me! I refuse to be bullied, and I won't be intimidated!"

I grunted as irritation edged in my periphery. I understood why Christian would be intimidated by me, and I liked strong people, but I'd also never given him a reason to be so.

"Hey, I've been nothing but nice to you. I'm not trying to scare or bully you. Look, I know my reputation, but I've been working on myself. I just… want to talk to you."

He folded his arms and thrust his hip to the side. "Oh? And why would you want to talk to me? I'm not some jock, or popular, or anything."

"Why do you have to be those things for me to talk to you?"

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, but before he could respond, I asked, "What are your pronouns? "

His face morphed from anger to contemplation to appreciation and back to irritation. Wow, I'd never seen so many expressions on a face happen so quickly.

"Why?"

I grunted again. "Because I wanna know. Like…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "This isn't working out like I'd hoped. Why are you so mad?"

Christian dropped his arms and slumped his shoulders. "I'm… just used to being bullied for how I look, and I hear the kids around here at school every day. I'm… sorry if you aren't trying to do that." He glanced around at the kids heading to their next classes, then back at me. "I'm he/him. Thanks… for asking."

I instantly relaxed. Bonus points to Dillon.

I held out my hand. "Can we start over? I'm Darren Wilson, I'm he/him, too."

For the first time, I saw him smile, and he literally fucking glowed. God, he was stunning.

Christian was talking to me. It was a start. Next, I'd work up the courage to ask him out. But first, I needed to know if he liked boys or girls—or both.

Tonight was our first game of the season. We were just junior varsity, and because we played before the varsity team, the stands were pretty full. I tried not to imagine Christian giving in and sitting up there, watching me. God, what a teen thing to do, and I hated being a damn teen.

Focus .

I stepped up to Dillon and grabbed his facemask. "Ready to take us to the top? "

He looked nervous as hell, his blue eyes wide, looking at me. "I'm ready."

"You don't look ready."

"I'm a little nervous, but I'll be good."

"We played last year. You'll be fine. Just tune everyone out. It's just you and the ball. I've got you. I'll protect you."

He'd been nervous as fuck last year, too, but once we got going, he warmed up and calmed down.

Dillon took a deep breath and nodded. "We're going to win this."

I shoved him back and grinned. "That's right! And after this year, we're going to fight like hell to be on the varsity team."

We ran onto the field to get ready to play against the Broad Run Spartans tonight. We'd studied them, so they weren't the most challenging team to defeat. I knew we could do this.

I wish I could've seen Dillon work his magic with the ball, but I was too focused on stopping the defense from sacking him. My sole purpose was to protect the quarterback, which was something I excelled at. We all protected him, but me especially, along with Dean, our left guard.

With our first touchdown of the game, Dillon and I high-fived and ran to the sidelines to let our defense keep Broad Run from scoring.

I failed Dillon one time during the game, getting sacked by the defense, but at least he'd tossed the ball first. Regardless, injuries were always a worry. You don't want your best quarterback getting hurt.

We ended up winning 31 to 7, a fucking great start to the season.

Dillon took off his helmet on the sidelines as the band played and the cheerleaders danced. His hair was sweaty because it was hot as fuck, and he worked his ass off tonight. I grabbed him and lifted him, spinning him around.

"That's what I'm talkin' about!"

He laughed. "Put me fucking down, beast."

I set him back on his feet and patted his back. "You were fire."

"So were you. A couple of close calls there, but you held it together, Dare."

"We're going places, Dil—you and me."

We were definitely going places. What a great fucking start, and I hoped we would carry the vibe throughout the season. Nothing could stop us.