35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Darren - Epilogue

Three and a half years later.

Well, according to the NFL, I was gay. Who cared that I was actually bisexual? Apparently, they didn't. It was all the same shit in their eyes.

I sipped my coffee and read the sports section of the newspaper online, talking about my being recruited to the Baltimore Ravens as an openly gay man and how brave I was. Stupid. I wasn't some fucking hero. But there were also the negative aspects and how others felt about it. More people hated it than not. I tried to ignore the hate, but it wasn't always easy.

If I were a mediocre player, they wouldn't have even considered me. I'd made it to the NFL because I was a fucking badass right guard, which had nothing to do with my sexuality .

To say I threatened what was perceived as masculine was an understatement. I pissed off a lot of men, forcing them to question their reality. Real men weren't gay. Real men didn't wear nail polish. I often did, since Christian loved painting them. He'd done it so much I wouldn't play without color on my nails. Other players did it, too, these days. Funny because those other players doing it weren't queer. That shit blew some men's minds, and not in a good way.

Whatever. They could fucking get over it. It wasn't my job to fix their frail egos. All I cared about was Christian, my mother, and my brothers, Dillon and Cade. I'd made some other good friends on my journey as well.

Right after graduation, Dillon and Cade got engaged. They'd been together since they were fourteen and figured it was the perfect time. They planned to move back to Loudoun County, get married in their red barn, and live happily ever after with a quiet life in the country.

I wanted Christian and me to marry soon, too. Though we've talked about it, we hadn't arranged anything yet. We'd been together for a long time. Seven years. We had a lot of ups and downs, with more ups than downs, but we were happy, and I made sure Christian was happy every day, that it wasn't all about me and my needs.

Mom and I finally ended up selling the house, which wasn't easy since it was a wreck. I wanted to burn the fucking thing down, but Christian and logic wouldn't let me.

Christian walked into the kitchen wearing pajama bottoms slung low on his narrow hips and a crop top T-shirt. He had grown out his hair again, which I was more than grateful for, but of course, he grew it at my insistence. I loved tugging on it when we had sex. Plus, he looked beautiful with it.

He walked over, stood behind me, and kissed my neck, smelling of sleep and all things sexy.

"Morning," he said, crawling into my lap. "What are you reading?"

"That apparently I'm gay now. "

He snorted a laugh. "Welcome to the club, Dare."

"People are stupid."

"They can be."

I put down my phone and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his chest. "Morning, Gorgeous."

He leaned forward and kissed me, his tongue tasting like his overly sweet coffee.

"Let's go house shopping," I said when he pulled back.

He raised a dark red brow. "With what money, babe?"

"I got my sign-on bonus today."

"Congratulations! It's official. God, I'm so proud of you. And strange to say that I'm proud of the Ravens for looking past your queerness, knowing that they would be fools not to recruit you."

"Not many wanted me, but I love that we don't have to live too terribly far from our family."

"That makes me happy, too. And now that it's official, I'll accept the offer to get my master's at the University of Maryland in Baltimore."

They had an excellent social work program for Christian, so this worked out well for both of us. It made me feel better that he was also reaching his dreams, and mine weren't getting in his way.

"Soooo, are we going house-hunting today? We need to find a place soon and get settled because practice starts mid-July, and that's coming up fast."

"Then we'll go house-hunting. I have nothing planned for today."

"Good, because I already made an appointment with a real estate agent. We need to be in Baltimore in two hours."

Christian huffed and climbed off me. "Well, thanks for the heads up! Do you know how long it takes me to look good?"

I winked at him. "You better get going then."

I teased him, but he always looked good, no matter what he wore.

The plan had been to buy something really nice. My sign-on bonus was larger than I'd anticipated, so we could afford a nice place. I also needed more space to finally move Mom out of Christian's grandparents' home and into ours. Hell, I could now afford to get her an apartment of her own if she wanted.

Usually, I would've been more careful with the money, but I was trying to push past my controlling boundaries and take chances. Finding a permanent home was a good risk to take.

I wanted to see a specific house just outside of downtown Baltimore, close enough for Christian to enjoy city life again. We were about as far from DC as we were when we lived in Loudoun County, but Baltimore was better than the country.

I pulled up Baby Girl in front of the cream-colored French-style home with black shutters. As soon as I saw pictures of the place, I fell in love. It was probably bigger than we needed, but eventually, we'd have kids, or so I hoped. It had a large office for Christian to study in, which could eventually turn into a workspace.

My truck looked so old and out of place in front of these wealthy homes, but so be it. One day, she was getting a fresh coat of paint. One day she'd shine.

"Oh, god, Dare. Do we need such a big house?" Christian asked, staring out the window.

"It's definitely more than I've ever had, but… Do you not like it?"

He looked at me with a smirk on his face and shook his head. "You picked out this house already, didn't you?"

I smiled meekly and shrugged. "What can I say? I fell in love."

He chuckled and looked back at the house. "Then we'll get it. It is gorgeous and a lot of house."

"Seven bedrooms."

His eyes bugged out. "Seven?! "

"Too much? Maybe it's too much. To be fair, whoever owned this house last fixed up the attic with three small bedrooms."

"Okay, that makes more sense." Christian reached for my hand and grabbed it. "If you want it, let's get it. Let's see the inside first, but I'll love it if you do."

Now, I was second-guessing myself. Was I being controlling again? Probably. "No, let's keep looking."

"Don't do that. Baby, if you want the house, I'm not going to say no. I don't care where we live as long as we're together. You earned this damn house."

"Are you sure?"

He just rolled his eyes and opened the door to hop out. "Come on, dumbass."

I snorted a laugh, feeling better. "I'm coming."

After meeting and talking with the agent for a while, Christian and I wanted to walk through the house freely, without the chatter. I already knew I was buying the place, but she didn't have to know that.

"God, this place is huge," he said, keeping his voice down since the noise carried through the large and empty house.

"The only thing I don't like is the kitchen," I said, as we meandered through the sunroom and on toward the living room. "It's so bland and modern looking compared to the rest of the house. This place has a French vibe, and it was built in 1915. The kitchen needs a good gutting."

Christian breathed a laugh. "If you say so. It's a very nice kitchen, but you're right. The style doesn't fit with the rest… of… the… what in the actual heck? Wow!"

He stopped so suddenly that I crashed into him, nearly knocking him over. I caught him and righted us, looking around the large room. The entire walls were covered in hand-carved wood, not paneling, and were full of bookcases. I'd seen it in the pictures, but the pictures just didn't do it justice. "This is the library."

"Stunning and look at that fireplace. "

"All the rooms have their own fireplace, even the bedrooms."

"Cozy."

The house had some fantastic features, but it definitely needed work. Some areas hadn't been taken care of or updated, so I'd have to fork over more money to fix her up, but that was my kind of thing and something that could keep me busy off-season, doing a lot of the work myself.

I took his hand and led him to the office, which would be perfect for him. "This is yours. You can study quietly here. In the winter, you can set up your fireplace, or maybe put a cushioned chair next to it."

Christian looked up at me and smiled, running his hands along the chair molding on the wall all the way to the built-in bookcases. "God, I love it, Dare. It's perfect, but what about you?"

"I play football. I don't need an office."

We ended up exploring the basement next, which was fixed up, but still needed more work. At least it was clean and didn't look like it was right out of a horror movie. "I'll put a gym down here."

"Great idea."

After we explored the rest of the house, I pulled him into me and held him. "So, what do you think?"

"I think it's gorgeous, expensive, and it'll take a lot of money to fix up."

"Doing a lot of the work myself will lower the cost."

He wrapped his arms around my neck. "Baby, how much is it? It can't be cheap."

"Baltimore isn't too bad. Not as expensive as Virginia or DC."

"Dare…"

"It's cheap for this type of house…"

"Darren!"

"One point five mil, okay?"

His jaw dropped, and his eyes looked ready to fall out of his head. "One million, five hundred thousand? Holy shit! "

"Hey, look at homes in Northern Virginia. They're smaller and more expensive than this. I can afford it."

"How much was your sign-on bonus? Are you going to blow it all on the house?"

"Nope."

"Is this one big secret?"

I smirked and kissed his head. "Not a secret, but a surprise. My sign-on bonus was one point eight million. Now, we aren't going to buy off the house, but put a big down payment on it."

I lifted Christian into my arms, and he wrapped his legs around me. I pulled him tighter to kiss him. "Once we get settled and make the house how we want it, we're going to have a kid… but only if you want to. I used to believe I wasn't cut out to be a parent, afraid I'd turn into my dad, but I think now I'm confident enough to start a family, Chris."

"When I was younger, I had dreams of being some high-time fashion designer and bossing models around."

I laughed. "You never told me that."

"Because it's embarrassing. To be fair, I was like ten years old then. But I never really thought of myself as a father, but yeah, let's talk more about that."

"We're going to have a good life, baby. I can feel it. I'm not scared anymore now that I'm finally grasping my future. I see everything unfolding, and it all looks so promising."

"We are going to have the best life."