20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Christian

I walked into the nursing home for the first time; the nerves zinging through my body. It was my first job. Was it still a job if I didn't get paid? I wanted to find something that would help me get into a good university while doing something worthwhile. So, Mom helped me set up some volunteer work at a local nursing home.

I tried to keep my femininity down while I worked, so I wore a plain, royal-blue T-shirt and jeans. I pulled back my hair into a short ponytail, leaving off all my makeup and jewelry, unsure of how people would react, but I felt naked without my usual flair.

After signing the paperwork, reviewing the nursing home's rules, and discussing who I was going to be paired with, I quietly opened the door to my new friend's room.

Mr. George Samuelson sat in a wheelchair, facing out at the wellness garden. It was beautiful, but the whole vibe here was depressing. For one, people shouldn't have to spend money to basically have a place to die. Second, why can't family care for them? If my grandparents or my mom couldn't take care of themselves, I would do it. However, I also understood that some people didn't have families to care for them.

His room was covered in industrial carpeting in gray with plain white walls, but he'd hung some paintings up. Photographs were displayed on his dresser, and a few plants were scattered around the room. He also had a folded U.S. flag displayed on his wall, and his bed was neatly made with a hand-crocheted blanket that looked like it was made with leftover yarn, probably a gift from a volunteer.

Someone had set out a chair for me to sit next to him. With a deep breath, I removed my satchel, carrying some books I'd picked out to read, and placed it on the floor next to the chair.

"Mr. Samuelson?"

The man was ashen, like he hadn't seen the sun in a long while. And he had more skin than hair on his graying head. Intelligent blue eyes looked up at me. I held out my hand. "I'm Christian Mallory. I'm a volunteer here."

"A babysitter," he grumbled. Still, he shook my hand.

"I'm awfully young to babysit a grown adult," I teased.

His eyes gleamed, but he didn't smile.

I hadn't planned what I would talk about or whether he wanted me to read or tell him stories. I just needed to find a way to ease his loneliness, even for a little bit.

"Well, let's get on with it. Entertain me."

I huffed. "I'm not a trained monkey here to dance for you. This is my first day. I'm just here to get to know you, but if you don't want to talk to anyone, I'm sure they can arrange for me to see someone else."

It wasn't like me to talk back to an elder, but I wanted to make it clear that I had boundaries and wasn't a doormat.

He waved a dismissive hand, and I took that as a sign to talk.

I glanced at his flag again. "You served in the military? "

"Yup, Vietnam. 1st Marine Division. Sergeant. Stationed near Hue, near North Vietnam. Beautiful city. Caught a bullet in my spine, and it's damn near miraculous that I lived and that I'm still alive. Haven't been able to walk since." His tone was clipped, intelligent, and to the point, completely lacking in emotion.

I chuckled a humorless laugh. "It makes all my teen worries seem so trivial and silly."

"Well, you're not in a war, are ya? Though you seem to be a bit slight for a young man to be in any battles."

Mr. Samuelson was blunt, too. I had to give him that. He wasn't easy to open up to, but I supposed if you've been hurting and unable to walk your entire life, you'd be grumpy, too.

"No wars here. I'm not even considering the military. Heck, I can barely handle all the bullying at school, but I try. It got pretty bad close to the end of the school year."

"Idiots. You being smaller ain't no reason to pick on you."

I smiled at him. "Well, that may be a part of it, but…"

"Always speak your mind, boy. Don't be afraid or care what others think. People come and go in your life. I guarantee you, those that left your life no longer think about you."

I stood and lifted a picture of a young woman from the 1960s. She had long blond hair and green eyes, reminding me a bit of Darren. The image wasn't as clear, but it had color. She was making a peace symbol with her fingers.

"You sound like Darren," I chuckled.

"He a friend?"

"You could say that."

"It's a yes or no question, son."

I swallowed my fear and said, fuck it. It was who I was, dammit. "He's my boyfriend."

"Figured as much. "

I turned to him, my brows slamming down. God, were all older people this bitchy? If this was how it was going to be, I wasn't sure I wanted to keep doing this.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get all huffy. It means nothin'. It means I can tell. You just ain't the first homosexual I've met. But I gotta admit, you're tougher than you look to tell me who you are, despite being intimidated by me."

I finally relaxed and leaned against his dresser. "Maybe, but I'm not even dressed as I usually do. I've hidden a part of myself today, unsure of how people will react."

"Stop fucking doing that. Now, tell me about this Darren. If he's like me, I can tell I already like him."

I snorted a laugh, hugging the picture I was still holding.

"He's a ‘ take life by the horns ' kind of person. To be fair, he's huge, almost a foot taller than me, and plays football as an offensive lineman. I'm the one who's the easy target, not him. We'd been hiding our relationship until the end of the school year. The kids doubled their bullying on me after that. No one bothered Darren, of course, but I was free game because I'm not as scary. And I didn't dare tell him what the kids were saying because he'd lose his mind." I looked at him and winced. "Sorry, I didn't mean to drop my life story on you. We're here to talk about you."

"No, you're just here to talk. It doesn't matter what we talk about. Finish."

I stared at the floor and shifted my feet. "I appreciate Darren wanting to come out, but a little warning would've been nice. He didn't even tell me until that morning. But like everything else, Darren plows his way through the world when he wants something. Sometimes, it feels like I'm just here for the ride, that I'm a passenger on his road to life. But then things get forgotten because he's the sweetest and cutest when it comes to me. He's a sweet honey bear, but only to me. It makes me feel special."

Mr. Samuelson nodded thoughtfully, looking back out at the landscaping. "Taking control of your life is good, but you can't forget those around you, especially the important ones. That's a lesson I've learned the hard way."

He nodded at the picture I still held as I sat down. "My beautiful Clara and my wife… ex-wife. I pushed myself hard to walk again, despite the doctors telling me I never would. I became singularly focused, forgetting about her and the kids along the way. She tried to help me as long as she could, but eventually, she got tired of feeling non-existent. Then it was the kids. I woke up one day and found myself alone."

My eyes burned as I stared at the pretty lady in the picture. "Your kids still haven't talked to you?"

"Oh, we remedied things a bit, but we were never close. I gave up my dreams of walking and tried to live my life, but the damage was done. Jason, my oldest boy, has a family of his own. I have grandkids… two boys. He's come to see me twice now since I've been in here."

"How long have you been here?"

"Too long."

God, this poor man. Sure, he was crabby, but everyone deserves someone in their life. Maybe Darren's dad didn't, but most people did, especially if they tried to be better people. "You have another kid?"

"A daughter. Janie. She won't talk to me at all. She's her own woman, owns a business, never married. Doesn't have time for the likes of me."

"God, I'm so sorry. That's terrible."

He threaded his bony fingers together and rested them on his lap, staring out at the garden again. "I guess I needed someone to talk to more than I thought. You get used to being alone sometimes. Well, nurses and doctors come and go all day, but it's not the same."

"I'm glad to be here."

"Next time, you come as yourself, you here?"

I smiled. "Yessir."

We talked for another thirty minutes about his time in Vietnam, and I got lost in a world I only knew about from history class. Then I headed home, feeling strangely good despite the difficult conversation.

Darren stormed into my bedroom like a rhino, lifted me off my bed before I even had a chance to wake up, and tossed me over his shoulder.

"Happy Birthday, Gorgeous," he boomed.

I giggled. "Set me down, you beast! I need to pee."

He set me on my feet and folded his arms, smirking. "Fine, but hurry. We have plans this weekend."

I yawned and rubbed my tired eyes. "The entire weekend?"

"Yep, your mom said it was okay."

"What are we doing this weekend?"

"Go piss, and when you come back, get dressed. I'll show you."

I peed, washed my hands, and brushed my teeth before I headed back to my bedroom to find Darren on my bed, holding my new stuffed unicorn pillow. What an odd but adorable sight.

"So, what's the plan?"

"Dress casually and comfortably. Nothing pretty or delicate."

"Curious. Do you care to elaborate?"

"Nope."

After I tossed on some shorts and a T-shirt, I packed my backpack with extra clothes.

"Bring your swim trunks," he said.

"I have a Speedo ."

Darren grinned. "Even better."

"Do I need to bring anything else?"

"I've got it all taken care of."

We drove in Baby Girl for a while until we pulled onto a dirt road surrounded by woods. It was bumpy as hell, especially in such an old truck.

"I hope getting whiplash is worth it," I groused .

Darren grinned at me. "You'll see."

We finally came to a clearing that opened up to a spot near trees and grass along a large creek, which was full after last week's rains. In the middle of it all was a tent.

"Uh…" I uttered, unable to form words. I wasn't an outdoor person at all. Sure, I liked to ride the horses sometimes, but I didn't like dirt, not getting to bathe, or being all around sweaty.

"Dillon lent me his camping stuff. He and Cade helped me set this up," Darren said, turning off the truck and jumping out. "Come on. I'll show you what I've done."

"Ah…"

I didn't have the heart to tell him this wasn't my thing. He'd obviously gone to a lot of trouble for me and was so excited. It wasn't like I ever talked about camping because I'd never done it, nor did Darren, for that matter, so this was kind of a surprise.

When I got out of the truck, he took my hand and dragged me to the campsite. The tent was pretty large, which was good. It had a fire pit, ready to go, with wood in the middle. There was a large cooler, which I assumed had food and drinks.

"So, we can go swimming here. Dil said some spots are deeper, and we can submerge in the water to cool off. And there's this place we can climb high, with cliffs that reach over the trees. He said we can see out all the way to the mountains. "We'll stay for two nights and head back on Sunday. So, what do you think?"

God, Darren was so excited with his surprise, and I wasn't about to hurt his feelings. No harm would come from camping. Who knows? It could be fun.

Try something new, Christian. It won't kill you .

"It looks wonderful, Dare."

He beamed, and my heart raced because he was so happy. "Nice! Oh!" He climbed into the tent, and a second later, he came out holding a present wrapped in gold paper .

"Happy birthday, Baby."

Smiling and nibbling my bottom lip, I took the proffered gift. I peeled back the paper and opened the small box. Inside was a small envelope. I also opened that to find a gift card.

"I know it doesn't look like much, but this gift is from me, your mom, and your grandparents. We combined our funds so that I can take you out on a proper date in the city. This gift card is for a fancy French restaurant that's supposed to be really good. I've never had fancy French food before, but I'm willing to be a city boy for a night."

And I could be a country boy for a weekend .

My smile was stretched so tight it almost hurt. Just when I thought Darren was so focused on what he wanted, he'd do something like this. That was what made Darren special. His steamrolling came with rewards.

"I love it. Thank you."

He stood close to me, lifted me by my armpits as he always did, and kissed me. I wrapped my legs and arms around him and shoved my tongue into his mouth.

When we came up for air, he kissed my nose. "I brought us out here, not just to camp, but… for privacy. I thought if you wanted to… we don't have to, but I'd like to try having sex."

My stomach dipped, and my hands got clammy. Sex was something we'd talked a little bit about, but we hadn't dived into it yet because of the lack of privacy. Blow jobs and handies were one thing. Sex took more effort and time. We didn't even know who would be on top. I suppose Darren would be inside me, which made more sense since I was smaller.

"Sex?"

He nodded and set me down, but didn't let go of me. "I've been looking up sex and stuff. I've got all the supplies and whatever. Again, only if you want."

It was a huge step, but it made sense for us after dating for as long as we had. And there was no one out there to catch us.

"I'm a little nervous about it, but let's do it."

"Fuck yeah! But let's chill first and swim."