22

I found myself standing where I’d found the box Mario had buried on the quad to make the plagues. Someday I wanted to learn how he’d done that. I might have more than enough magic to do anything possible, but that amount of control was awesome.

Even if the evil kind. It was still helpful to know that type of control and weave spells and magic that way.

It was how I’d created magic already like the compasses to find any fair folk on Earth. Which my dad and I had made into demon locators as well. There hadn’t been many who had come back after my dad wiped them all out, but more would come.

Now we had a way to easily send them back as well. The fight we would never win but would help the world if we fought. Which was pretty amazing when it wasn’t our world.

It seemed I wanted to keep going down memory lane. I jumped all around from the Vogel’s castle extension that was now built and had once been the mountain I’d beaten up to different events and places I’d gone with my dad.

Including bad ones like underground gambling halls… Some of which were back in business. Nice, more money to get later.

I blinked and I was at the spot I’d seen my first portal and Julian had stepped out of it that night to find out whose magic had triggered the sensors on the nearest portal. The last thing I expected was to find someone there.

“Hey, cream puff,” he whispered when I appeared. He stood and came over to me, worry in his eyes. “You’ve been bouncing around too fast for your detail. People are worried.”

“Sorry,” I whispered with a frown. “I felt them though.”

“At Artemis, but you lost them after,” he explained.

“Sorry.”

“It’s more than understandable and no one’s mad,” he promised as he cupped my face. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry when I touch you.”

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “I was just—your hand is so big and warm. I was thinking how cold my cheek felt after my dad moved away from me before he died. I didn’t think my cheek would ever feel warm again.”

“Oh, Tams,” Lucca rasped as he hugged me to him. “I’ll keep you warm, cream puff.” He kissed my temple. “Come on, I’ve been waiting for a while and I’m starved. A new bakery opened that specializes in cream puffs. We have to check it out. I’m so excited to see if it’s any good.”

I really didn’t want to, but he was excited and I couldn’t deny him, especially when he said Harry wanted one too. I chuckled and went with him. I froze before we entered the bakery. “How did you know to wait for me there?”

His eyes flashed shock, but then he smiled. “Because I pay attention too, Tams. I asked Julian a while ago to show me the spot he first found you.” He gave me a soft kiss when it was clear that wasn’t enough. “If I’d been dropped into this world, I’d probably go back there now and again too. It’s just how our brains work.”

I felt really seen by him feeling that way and saying it to me.

Really seen.

And the cream puffs were amazing. For real, and it was sad that the place was dead. Did they not have any marketing or… I had enough problems of my own, and I couldn’t worry about anyone else right then.

“Oh, I need to pick up something real quick for my sister,” Lucca said when we were done. “She needs a new swimsuit.” He cleared his throat. “After Dad was pushing them at guys, they both admitted they wanted to wear something with more coverage at the summer parties. Though I told them both those guys were jerks. We all make friends and alliances.”

“Agreed. It wasn’t like they tried to crawl into bed with them or flirted. They just said hi because your dad said to be nice. They’re going way over the top with what they told me,” I grumbled, really upset for his sisters.

Which is why I went a bit overboard with the shopping. Once I got their sizes, I bought them each a few cute one-pieces… That were Louis Vuitton. No one would say shit about them wearing one-piece swimsuits when they were so expensive and designer. I also got them some Gucci activewear to throw over it and a few cute cover-ups that were designer as well.

“Thanks, cream puff,” Lucca whispered. “I’m in over my head on this.”

“I know.” I gave him a soft kiss. “But you do the same when I am too.” I smiled when he did. “And tell your sisters to brag about me taking them to the next auction with Birkins. I’ll get them each a bag. Your mom too.”

He nodded but then did a double take. “Wait, those crazy Hermes bags that are like the cost of fucking cars?”

“Sometimes,” I chuckled. “The preowned ones aren’t normally that much and where they would start, but—let them have people talking about anything else, Lucca. It’s fine. Really.”

“I love you so much,” he whispered as he gave me a huge hug.

“Me too, you cute bear,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks flush.

He wanted me to be the hero and drop it all off, but I admitted that I didn’t know if I could handle that just yet. He was great about it and immediately had his security do it instead. I told him he could go see his family and I was fine, but he brushed it off.

And clearly, I wasn’t fine. But he needed to do a few other things and there was a restaurant he was dying to try. It was quiet, and we had a table outside on the water. It was nice and Lucca didn’t push.

The next morning, he was all over me because he heard that there had been a huge snowfall on one of the mountains in Faerie where it was winter. He was like a kid at Christmas, and there was no way I was denying him the chance to go snowboarding when he was practically giddy. So we went, and while I wasn’t all into it, the adrenaline was nice. It was fun.

But I was still sad. There was no way to just stop being sad after losing my parents and burying them.

When we were all snowboarded out, he said he’d told one of the rest stops we’d stop by because the hobgoblins were worried. So we went there. Then he had some errands we had to run and another dessert place to try.

And on and on.

Honestly, it was a bit embarrassing how long it took me to catch on to what he was doing. One minute it was snowboarding where it was winter and then kitesurfing where it was summer in Faerie which I’m not sure anyone has ever done in Faerie. But it was great. I was finally able to bring my gear to my planet and we’d ordered more since yeah, now I could.

Then he wanted to do autumn stuff and get a break from his sloth. He needed it.

Oh, and we needed to go fishing. He was dying to go fishing and see the fish in the spring that he’d heard about and blah, blah, blah. His bear was dying, and once the guys heard about it, they said we could cook it on the beach and make a day of it.

And they were all so excited that I just went along and nodded.

There were errands, and we helped make repairs on one of the temples and then harvested groves before regrowing them. Just packed days with nothing serious but a lot.

Enough to tire me out.

So yeah, it was clearly on purpose and to keep me moving instead of getting lost in my sadness. It worked, but it didn’t handle it all.

That wasn’t possible.

I also needed to remind myself of the piles of wins so it was worth the vast loss I was experiencing now. So I took off before they woke up and Lucca could jump me all around again.

I found myself at the orphanage set up for grandchildren of fairies, but I wasn’t there for one of them. No, I wanted to check on the young witch I’d healed with a miracle the gods had taught me.

Nothing shocked me more than to find her older sister already up and checking on her as well. We simply stared at each other a moment.

“How is she doing?”

“Physically, she’s better than ever,” she answered. “Mentally—she’s blaming herself for breaking up our family. It’s ridiculous, and she’ll see it’s bull, but she’s just overwhelmed.” She scrubbed her hand over her head. “Our family is fine. Our siblings are our family. That woman isn’t anything to us but…”

“You can’t force people to feel as you do,” I said for her.

“No, but she’ll see it too.”

“She will,” I agreed as I walked over to her and rubbed her shoulder. “She doesn’t need to realize it today, and it’s not your fault if she doesn’t. You’re a kid too, okay? I longed for my parents all my life thinking they ditched me. Family and parents are always complicated. You are older and saw more. That means you saw more of the truth.”

“I did, and I wish they would listen to me,” she rasped.

“We do the best we can, but everyone needs to find their own answers. Just give them the ones that you have and trust they’ll come up with the right ones for them.”

“Thanks. Really.” She quickly wiped her eyes. “And this place is great. Everyone’s nice to us. Even if we’re not related to fairies. The people in charge are super protective and didn’t let anyone try to scan us for your magic or anything.”

I frowned. “Good. I’ll make sure people know about that and kick someone’s ass if need be.”

She snickered. “The woman who runs this place did that. A few times. She said you are the one who taught her to open portals under people to the ocean and she likes your style. The guy was just gone. It was great.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Let me know if you need anything.” I turned to leave, but her next words stopped me.

“I’m sorry your dad died. People are talking about it. That you had to let him die after your coronation. That sucks. I don’t know I could do that for people I don’t know.”

“It was more complicated than that,” I whispered. “His soul was tied to my mom’s and she was gone. My dad had to give up his immortality to have a child, so he was fading. I—it was painful to watch even as I wanted him around longer.”

Her eyes were bug wide. “Wow, he really loved you.”

I frowned. “Why do you say that?”

She shrugged. “Your mom had visions of you, right? He had to really love you to give up his immortality so they could have you. That’s really cool.”

I nodded. “He was amazing like that.” I nodded to her sister. “Take care of them and contact me if you need me.”

“I’m ready to be healed,” she blurted. “I mean if it doesn’t hurt you.”

“No, it doesn’t hurt me,” I promised her as I touched her arm and healed all the scars on her. “I’ll come back and heal your siblings as well. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m—I just needed to check on her.”

“Someone’s checking on you, right?” she worried.

“They are.” I smiled at her and left, touched she was worried when she had so much on her young shoulders.

I went to see Rich—for real this time. I told him about becoming queen and losing my dad. I told him to make sure to introduce himself to my parents. I really hoped he got to go to the same place, because if he’d adopted me like a little sister when I was no one, he should get the perks of being the adopted son of a demigod now.

That made me smile. He deserved that kind of love and happiness. He really did.

Next, I went on a tour of my wins. The fae dog fighting ring and breeder I’d shut down. Several of the Underground bases I’d shut down.

I tried to picture all of the lives I’d saved and people who were better off because of me and my magic as I did, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed worth the sacrifice of my parents. Even seeing the healed wings that no one had been able to heal before.

It should never have happened. It should never have come to this.

Lucca found me out by my unicorns checking on the babies.

I chuckled when he opened his mouth. “You have something to grab on the moon and then are dying to see one of the rings of Jupiter so I’m distracted and busy?”

He was so, so busted that he couldn’t even get his mouth to work and I just laughed. He let out a cute huff and crossed his arms over his massive chest. “They all said I was going too far and making it obvious, but we were having fun too. You can have fun and be sad. Plus, it was a better plan than just holding you while you cried. It hurts to see you cry, cream puff.”

“I’m still going to cry and need to,” I said gently.

“I know. I just—we were having a good time though, right?”

I nodded. “A lot of it was great, relaxing. I’m just tuned out and numb for too much.”

“That’s understandable,” he muttered as he moved closer, cupping my face. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He leaned down and ran his nose along mine. “You are so beautiful, cream puff. Watching you out here with the cute unicorn twins is just—you amaze me.”

And suddenly, I wanted to get lost in him. I gave him a look that I hoped he understood and like I wasn’t trying to be crass or a jerk.

“Always, cream puff,” he whispered against my temple. “Just tell me yes and I’ll take care of everything. I’ll take care of you. Just get us to where you want us to be.”

Perfect. That sounded perfect. I wanted to feel good and get lost in Lucca after the pain and grief.

At least for a little while.

I actually took us to my vacation castle since it popped into my mind and I knew it wouldn’t have as many people taking care of it now.

“You really like this place,” he muttered after glancing around.

“The vibe of it and the land is just—something in my core likes it,” I admitted before angling my head for a kiss.

“You won’t get mad at me later for being a horny bear, right?” he worried.

“I promise. Make me feel good, Lucca.”

He searched my eyes. “Gentle. You want gentle.”

I did, and I loved that he now always checked and made sure that we were on the same page. It healed all the hurt he’d ever made me feel when he did that.

He kissed me deeply but didn’t rush anything. It was slow and sensual like we had all of the time in the world.

I blinked and we were naked, so lost in the kiss that I hadn’t been paying attention to where the clothes went. He laid me on the bed and kissed every inch of me. It was almost painful it was so titillating and lazy at the same time. He chuckled when I whimpered or tried to get him to move on.

“You are my favorite cream puff to eat and taste cream from,” he murmured before moving between my legs.

Only a man as sexy as Lucca could seriously get away with such cheesy lines. For real, I always thought one day I would roll my eyes or get tired of them.

But not yet. It made me squirm to have such a sexy man focused on me like that and all about devouring me in the best way.

He ate me twice like I was the best meal ever and then pushed up, spreading my legs wider with his thighs. He studied me for a bit and gave me a soft kiss. “This is enough for me if you—”

“This is perfect,” I promised, throwing my arms around him and pulling him down for another kiss. I gasped as he pushed inside of me, my body more than ready for the fun and attention it had been missing. It felt so much extra after the break of not having sex and also having felt too bad for so long.

Plus, Lucca was the one person who could always pull me out of the darkness. I’d said it time and time again. All of my guys had their roles and things they were best at.

Lucca was the one who could bring me back into the light no matter how upset or sad I’d been. He was the one who made me look forward to seeing another day and that I was alive.

And I wanted him to feel that. I really did. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me in that way. My magic danced around me, wanting to help, and I gave permission—finally at the point where there were no mistakes or misunderstandings. We were the team.

Lucca immediately felt it, getting breathy and his eyes going wide. “Tams, did you…”

I nodded. Unable to say that I’d given him a piece of my soul for some reason. It felt too weird to say.

“I love you, Tamsin Vale,” he whispered and kissed me fiercely. He took me with such passion—but still gently—that I felt tears burn in my eyes. This was what I’d always hoped for with Lucca. Not the sex, but the feeling we were a team too. It was us.

Us who had a future because we really cared about and respected each other.

I cried out as I finished and he followed me over, thrusting deeply into me until I had another small orgasm.

“Stupid bear,” I teased, smiling when he did.

“I’m your stupid bear,” he rasped, tears in his eyes. “You gave me a piece of your soul. I feel it, cream puff. I feel it inside of me like I feel Harry. He’s so excited that you love us and we didn’t ruin everything. We can be happy with you like we always wanted.” He used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. “From the moment I saw you in the cafeteria, I just knew…”

“What?” I asked, rubbing my hand over his face. “You knew what?”

“My life would be better,” he admitted. “My life would be better with you in it. Yes, you were beautiful and I was attracted to you. It wasn’t about that though. I just knew you were supposed to be in my life. I felt that when I met Hudson too. Like my life would be sad without him.” He gave me a soft kiss. “More than us being lovers, you’re both my best friends.”

“Yeah, we’ve always been great at being friends,” I agreed. “I’m glad we figured out the rest. I really am.”

“Me too.” He gave me another kiss and then gently pulled out of me before cleaning me up. I was a bit shocked he didn’t go for another round or more fun… But I could feel his worry.

And he was right. This was perfect and exactly what I needed, but a sexfest while in mourning and grieving wasn’t what I wanted.

No, that would make me feel icky. This was comfort and love. Reminding me I was alive and had a lot of reasons to hold on and stay with the men I loved.

The other four were waiting when we returned to the castle and looked grim.

“I don’t know that I can take any bad news,” I whispered. “Please, I just finally feel like I can keep moving and not sob at every turn without—”

“Nothing bad happened,” Darby assured me. “There’s something we all want to know, but we’re split on how to handle it and if it should be handled now.”

That had a lot of possible issues and levels, so I cheated and used my telepathy, nodding when I heard what was going on. They instantly caught on to what I’d done.

“We all agree that we have a right to know,” Neldor said quietly.

“No, not all of us,” Lucca corrected, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m very firmly on the side of leaving this alone. Tams will tell us when she’s ready and—visions are scary. We have no right to them. They also change. Look how off her mom was even about one little detail that turned into something huge like Lageos couldn’t use the portals.”

“You’re right, sorry,” Neldor accepted before Lucca ramped back up. “The four of us agree that if a vision is about us , we have a right to know. We are divided on when to tell us, how much we should know—basically, we all agree we don’t want you to carry the burden alone. The rest… We’re not sure.”

“You clearly showed your dad something and it made him able to let you go, agra ,” Darby whispered. “I know it’s horrible, but the curiosity is grating at me. Like—I know I’m horrible to push this, especially now, but I keep staring at the ceiling at night.” Tears were in his eyes. “Do we make it? Is that what you showed him? You showed him that we mate?”

“I’ll show you,” I sighed when they all seemed to want to weigh in. “You’ll want answers, but I don’t have them. I don’t know how long or—I can’t answer your questions. So know that and it can change. This is the path we’re on right now . This—don’t be mad.”

“We won’t,” Lucca said firmly, staring down Hudson who hadn’t said anything about it.

He chuffed at Lucca which surprised me. “I get it’s complicated and something she sees. But I want a relationship where we can talk about anything—especially the difficult stuff. I think I’m going to have a right to be miffed because I’m pretty sure she’s been keeping this quiet a while.”

“I have,” I confirmed.

Neldor caught on like he always did. “You stopped referring to your first child and started saying your daughter. That was the change, and you pushed everything about what happens after you and your children.” He let out a shaky breath. “Did you see our child, baby doll?”

I swallowed loudly. “You’ll hate me if this changes.”

“Never.” His response was firm and immediate. “I hate you shouldering this alone. We’re all fucking adults here, Tams, and know the future can change. That’s not on you, but all of us.”

I was relieved when they all agreed. I let out a slow breath and linked our minds. “This is the most recent version. It’s never changed, just more added—I can see more every so often.”

Then I showed them what I had my dad.

I yelped when Julian picked me up and spun me around.

“Twins? We have twins? ”

“Maybe, git,” Darby hissed. “This is why she didn’t want to show us.”

“You’re just as thrilled,” Julian threw right back before kissing me. “Twins. We have so many kids, my cute wifey!”

I wasn’t sure what I would have said, but Neldor was crying. Not just tearing up but crying and we all froze. Julian let me go so I could help Neldor, hugging him and letting him get it out.

“She’s perfect, baby doll,” he choked out. “She’s all of them.”

I didn’t know what that meant, and it took a few more minutes for him to calm down.

“Your dad’s hair,” he explained. “My mom’s eyes. My dad’s dimples. Your mom’s smile and nose. It’s like the perfect combination of all of our parents into one perfect child. They live on through us—her.”

I nodded, worry filling me.

He immediately felt it just as the others did. He hugged me, but Hudson had the perfect response, chuffing as he pulled me away and held me in his arms.

“So we mate. Awesome. You get grounded later for not telling us,” he grumbled before sitting me on the sofa where there was food waiting. “Our daughter is pretty, but we’d have a handsome son too. Glad you don’t pop out a unicorn. Now eat.”

“Thanks, beastie,” I chuckled, glad when he kissed my cheek.

They all agreed that it was best that I didn’t try to pop out a unicorn or anything weird as they sat too. I could tell they were dying to ask more or push, but they didn’t. They left it be and simply accepted that we were going to make it and be happy.

That was the important part. It really was.

And I truly, truly believed it. I was sitting with my happily ever after and I was theirs. I was a lucky, lucky woman.