20

“Your relatives seriously need to set up a fucking queue, Dad,” I grumbled when I came back around, grabbing my throbbing head. “Please tell me that people didn’t freak out that I was rejected or something?”

“What do you think happened, agra? ” Darby asked as he moved something cold to my forehead.

“They gave me visions and messages and I blacked out,” I mumbled, sighing as someone gave me a healing rune. Actually, more than one, so it had to be Neldor and my dad? I couldn’t tell since I felt all over.

And juiced up?

“Something’s up with my magic,” I warned them.

There was a snort that was extra deep and I knew it was Hudson’s. “Yeah, that was the fucking raw power they zapped you with, shorty. You didn’t just get visions. You got like actual blessings. You fucking levitated you were being shocked with so much energy, and—I still can’t believe what I saw and I’ve rewatched it.”

I blinked my eyes open and found him in the group. “I’m sorry— what? ”

Lageos waved the others off and moved to sit next to me, smiling as he took my hand. “You are no longer the grandchild of the gods. You are as powerful as a demigod. Our relatives bumped you up to full demigod essentially. Queen of Faerie—a full fairy and a full demigod.”

“I’m as powerful as you?” I whispered.

He smiled. “More so actually. There is a lot that you can do as a fairy that I cannot. Plus, you have untapped potential whereas I’m at the end of my journey.”

“So they’re super happy I’m queen and combining the realms?” I hedged. “Is that what we’re taking away from this?”

“Yes,” he said firmly but then swallowed loudly. “And it’s time for me to go home to them. Your last fears that I won’t be here to protect you are—you are more than enough to protect yourself now, Daughter. Any child you have will be too powerful to ever be oppressed or hurt again. Now that you were freed from Faerie, this was the last piece.”

“That’s a lot to take in,” I mumbled, shaking my head. “Okay, so wings out like normal and—”

“No, you’re beyond that now,” Lageos said. “You maybe should when you can but no, your power jumps are beyond a fairy and your wings. These came from your core like mine do.”

Okay then.

I nodded, letting out a slow breath as I gave myself another healing rune and pushed to sit up with Darby’s help. “Wait, when is—”

“Not even two hours,” Lucca told me, nodding that he knew where my head was and my worry. “You’re good, cream puff.”

“Let people know that Her Majesty is awake and speaking with her healers and under their care after the visions and blessings from the gods,” Lageos told someone behind him. “That everything will continue as planned, and she appreciates the well wishes and congratulations from her people. She looks forward to a time of peace and happiness as their leader.”

People looked to me to confirm the message, but I was still stuck on what he said at the beginning.

Majesty.

I was now queen.

“I think she’s in shock at the promotion,” Neldor muttered. “Yes, it’s a good statement and put it out.”

I tapped my nose to say he got what was going on with me. “I’m a bit spacey brimming with power and energy but just all over.” And of course, my stomach chose that moment to growl obnoxiously.

Oh, how I missed having that embarrassing moment. Whatever. Queens got hungry too.

Wow, I was really queen.

We moved to the patio of the castle where our “party” was set up. Basically, we were just eating and drinking. I wasn’t the only one who was exhausted. The commanders were all sitting there looking a few drinks into their relaxing in the sun with plates of food in front of them. They all jumped to their feet when they saw me.

“I’m fine. A bit spacey,” I promised them.

“You scared us, Your Majesty,” Stefanie rasped. “I couldn’t get to you or—” She swallowed loudly.

I nodded, knowing how terrifying that had to be for her. “I was out. I didn’t know what was going on. Right after I turned around, everything went black as all of the visions hit me at once.”

“Are they visions you can share?” Shael hedged.

I opened my mouth but then closed it. “I don’t know. I can’t—I need a bit to sort through it all. It’s all jumbled and…” I glanced at my dad. “I think I have to get some power out.”

He nodded. “That’s how demigods have power jumps. It’s like excessive static buildup. You’ll feel that now along with how you did as a fairy.” He glanced at my guys. “She will need much more cleansing now. I suggest at least three mornings a week along with Saturdays. Neldor, you will start using that hourglass to cleanse her when she sleeps as well.”

“Of course,” Neldor accepted.

“The good news—well, besides more power—is you’ll be more fuel efficient,” Lageos told me. “I eat a ton, but you beat me. My magic isn’t only from food but nature itself and the elements. I can recharge on sunshine or the moon as you do on a stack of pizzas.”

“Thank fuck, because I don’t think I can physically eat any more and not start hating food,” I grumbled. I adjusted my neck and decided to get it out. I saw the trellises I’d asked for had been put in, so I threw some magic that way, and before I could blink, they were all overloaded with grown plants.

And fruit. Tons of fruit falling all over the place.

“Oh good, I’m going to have to adjust to this and figure out how to do baby magic again,” I drawled.

“Your life will never be boring, Daughter,” Lageos chuckled. “Teleport out to the ocean and grow everything there. I know the auctions are wanting more and more seafood.”

I shrugged. That was a good call.

I did just that, letting my wings out so I could hover above the water. I flew along and let out what felt like a ton of magic but was stupid easy. I also dropped in a ton of the vitamin and supplement pellets for various fish and animals living in the water. I went for a good twenty minutes and wasn’t tired.

Simply felt lighter.

Oh goodie. I loved new like this.

Neldor met up with me and gave me a worried look. “They’re distracting you, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure they gave me something else to focus on after I lose him tomorrow,” I agreed. I took his hand and we flew back to the terrace, not saying anything and just enjoying the afternoon.

It was nice, relaxing, and exactly what everyone needed. After dinner, the others left or went to bed, but I stayed up with my dad. I asked about his favorite times in history and tried not to cry when he got things mixed up or seemed confused. He’d been fading faster the past six months and it broke my heart.

Which meant I couldn’t be selfish anymore.

“It’s time,” he whispered when the sun was coming up. “Your mother was calling to me. It’s time, Daughter.”

I nodded, unable to say anything around the lump in my throat and tears I was blinking back. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones who couldn’t sleep because the guys were all up and the commanders were waiting for us.

It was really time, and I never wished more that I had the magic to stop time or rewind it. I was selfish like that. I’d never thought of that before no matter how many died in the war or were hurt.

But I wanted it now to have more time with my dad or to change our fate.

I was ready to fall apart, but I had to be strong for him. He was in much more pain over this than I could ever be. He was pulled in two different directions that—I couldn’t have made this choice.

“I love you. You’re the best dad I could have ever had,” I rasped. “Tell Mom I love her too and I’m sorry I haven’t forgiven her yet. I will.” I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. “I understand at least now.” My voice cracked on the next part. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner, Dad. I’m sorry you suffered so long.”

His eyes flashed shock. “That was never your fault or failing, Tamsin. It was ours.” He hugged me tightly and kissed my hair. “You are and always will be perfect. No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you.”

I hugged him with all I had, not caring that others were there or watching our hug that lasted too long.

It would be our last one after all.

It took all my strength to pull away, and some part of me broke to do it.

“I cannot keep her trapped, but I cannot leave you, Tamsin,” he choked out, covering his face and reaching for me at the same time. “I’m such a failure as a father and mate. I don’t know the right answer or how—”

“It’s okay, Dad,” I rasped. “You’re not leaving me alone. I’ll be okay—better than okay. I’ll be happy, I swear it.”

He opened his mouth but then blinked at me and slowly closed it, understanding in his eyes.

Begging in his eyes that I show him.

I nodded and linked our minds. I showed him the vision I’d been having for a while now—the most recent version of it at least. I let him see the framed picture in the family dining room.

The picture of my family.

My perfect and loving family.

Neldor and I were in the middle, and a breathtaking woman stood between us wearing the first tiara I had ever worn of Mom’s… Because she was my eldest daughter. She had my crazy red curly mane but her father’s light-green eyes.

Plus, her father’s damn dimples. She was showing them off and smiling brightly, and the love we all felt for each other couldn’t be faked. The smiles were all real and—it was real.

To my right, Darby was standing with his hand on a man’s shoulder. Our son. My second child, and somehow I knew he was a fairy. He was so handsome it was ridiculous. He had my red curly hair, but his father’s gorgeous gray eyes and it was disarming. Both of them were with their bright smiles. Again, the love and happiness were real.

Next to him was Julian who was holding our twins on his hips. They looked about ten years old—one boy, one girl, and they were the most adorable munchkins. They had his dark blond hair but my tighter, wild curls. Our daughter had his eyes and our son had mine. Our witch and warlock twins that I knew were trouble and we loved every second of it.

Standing next to Neldor was Hudson with his arm around our daughter, my third child. She had his dark brown hair and it was glossy perfection. She was wearing fairy braids and looked so elegant that I would have wondered if she was really my daughter if she didn’t have my eyes.

And my smile. She had the same bright, beaming smile that my dad and I had. She was clearly mine. Another loved fairy.

Finally, Lucca was on the end holding our baby… And that was all I could tell so far. We had a child. I didn’t know if boy or girl, bear or fairy.

I didn’t care. The baby was healthy, and we were happy. That was all that mattered.

We’d made it to mate and have a child. That was what mattered.

“You’re sure?” Dad asked in my head. “No variations or—it’s always the same?”

I nodded. “I’ve only seen more, no changes. The baby with Lucca was only added a few weeks ago and I can’t tell anything. No outliers or—this is my future, Dad. I swear it.”

Just to make sure he believed me, I showed him the first one I’d had almost a year ago which had scared the shit out of me… And been the reason that I’d started scorching the ground around my future family, the castle, how Faerie would be in the future—all of it.

I let him see the first picture we added to the family dining room. I was holding a tiny baby as Neldor hugged me. Darby, Julian, Lucca, and Hudson were with us, and all had their hands on me and Neldor, making it clear that we were the family.

Then I actually showed him the photo shoot for the next picture that I had more than images from. Julian was goofing around with our daughter who was about ten while I was off to the side breastfeeding my newborn while Darby hovered. Neldor went over to his biological daughter and there was no animosity.

All of them were clearly her father, and she was the most loved little girl in the history of either planet.

We took the picture with Darby and me in the middle holding our baby. It wasn’t about the next heir always in the middle or Neldor and me. No, that picture I showed him of the final vision was in commemoration of my eldest daughter accepting her role and title as my heir.

After that photo shoot, I showed him another picture where Hudson and I were holding our baby while Darby had our son on his hip and my daughter with Neldor was next to me with her father. All of us smiling and full of love.

We did it for all the kids’ birthdays. We took a family portrait with them in the middle, and some of them were hung in their rooms or in different parts of the castle.

The next one showed Julian and me holding the twins as babies, Neldor and our daughter on my right, Darby and our son next to Julian. Hudson with our daughter and Lucca on the end looking like a proud daddy too.

Because he was. It was so clear that these were all of our children that my soul healed a bit each time I had the vision. Hell, I was so excited for that future even as it terrified me that I was going to have so many kids and have to figure out how to be a good parent.

But it was clear I had time. Lots of time. And I even agreed that about every ten years was good pacing to have kids. At least for us. Maybe most would want them closer so they had siblings their age, but… I ruled a world. That would be more than I could handle, and I wanted them to always feel the priority.

Always. My family would always be my priority.

“I don’t have words for how perfect they are, Tamsin,” he whispered as he hugged me tightly. “What are their names? How are—”

“I don’t know, Dad. We’ll figure that out when we get there.” I smiled at him as I wiped away some of his tears. “I want to enjoy the journey to get there and the happiness that made us want to have them. It all works out. That’s what matters. I have my happy ending, so I’m going to be more than okay. You can go be with Mom and watch from Paradise.”

“I didn’t deserve you as a daughter,” he choked out as he hugged me tighter. “In all of my many, many years, you were the one thing I did best, Tamsin. You are everything I am but so much better.” He leaned away and cupped my cheek. “Never forget that, and never let any of them tell you otherwise or hurt you again.”

“I won’t,” I promised. My cheek felt freezing when he let me go, but I knew it needed to happen.

Otherwise, we could say goodbye forever and Mom would be trapped. What really would be enough to say? What would really be the right thing to say to make this hurt any less or that I wouldn’t grieve the loss?

Nothing.

Nothing could make this any less painless, so it was better to set Mom free. Dad and I had said our goodbyes and everything that needed to be said.

“Take care of him, Mom,” I whispered as I got into place.

I wanted to yell stop a thousand times. I wanted to call it off and demand he stay with me longer… But I loved him too much to be that selfish.

And another day would probably just make it hurt more when it inevitably happened. That was how guilt worked. For her. For him.

For my selfishness as I watched him fade more each day.

“I’m ready, Tamsin,” Lageos said gently when I just knelt there.

I blinked back tears and nodded, knowing he was. I built the magic and almost stopped it so I could give him one more hug, but even my magic told me it was time and not to be selfish. I let it build and build until it was enough and unfroze my mom.

“I’m sorry, Tamsin,” her voice whispered through my mind.

I nodded, not surprised she and Elora had the same last thought. I wanted to scream at the gods for not letting my telepathy download some of her memories or thoughts—even partially as I had before.

But then I realized it was a blessing. Seeing her last days of worry and fear would hurt. Seeing how she suffered more would be burned in my mind in a way no child should ever see.

“Iolas, take her,” Lageos whispered, sounding weak.

My head snapped up, and I saw Iolas take my mom from my dad since he’d caught her. Was it really happening this fast? All this time to prepare and now it was too fast.

“Tamsin, don’t watch,” he wheezed.

Stupid demigod. There was no way I was leaving him alone in this.

I scurried over to him and hugged him, promising I was fine when he tried to push me away.

“Don’t let her see this,” my dad argued.

“She would never forgive us if we took this away from her, Lageos,” Julian said gently. “Let her be there for you as you have been for her.”

“And then we’ll be there for her in her grief,” Neldor added. “Give Meira our love and enjoy Paradise. Tell my dad I miss him.”

“I will,” Lageos promised. “I look forward to meeting him.”

Of course my dad said something so kind in his last moments.

I kissed his hair and promised we would be okay, that I loved him and was glad he got to go be with Mom.

“You made our lives and love perfect,” he whispered before his eyes closed and he stopped breathing.

I laid my head against his chest to make sure. The wail of pain and grief I let out could be heard all around Faerie. Neldor tapped into my magic without me even having to say anything, and I felt the sedation rune placed on me.

But even that couldn’t lessen the pain, simply my reaction to it.

“Don’t leave them alone,” I choked out as someone tried to move me from my dad after several more minutes.

“We won’t, Your Majesty,” Shael swore.

“Not yet,” I argued, pulling away from whoever was touching me. “I can’t leave him yet. I can’t let him go. None of this is fair.”

“It’s not, but he’s already gone, agra ,” Darby rasped. “He’s with your mom.”

“I can’t leave him,” I sobbed.

“You can’t stay with them, baby doll,” Neldor choked out. “Please? Stay with us. I know how much it hurts. I know . I know how hard it’s going to be but please, love us enough to stay with us.”

“We need you, my sweet mate,” Julian added. “You can’t go with them.”

“They wouldn’t want you to,” Lucca whispered as he rubbed my back. “All of this was so you could live and be happy. You promised them you would.”

“I don’t know how without—I don’t know that I can now.” I might have said more, but then I was in Hudson’s arms.

“You will, Tams,” he promised. “Just not today. Today will be the worst pain ever. This week. But each day it will hurt a little less. So for now, we just make it to that day and you let us love you.” He gave me a soft kiss when I went to argue. “River is really worried and scared.”

“So’s Harry,” Lucca rasped.

I nodded, hearing them. “I don’t know what to do now.”

“You let us handle everything,” Lucca said, taking my hand as Hudson carried me along.

And I did. I let them take care of everything.

Take care of me.

If that was even possible when I was in this much pain.