Chapter 27

CHAPTER

TWENTY-SEVEN

SPENCER

God.

I want to give this man every single piece of me. Every inch, inside and out. His tongue fills my mouth just as his cock slides inside of me. I’m already wet, waiting—wanting. As much as I want to deny that this man does something to me, my body cannot.

Desire flows through my veins, mixing with anger and pain. All of it is too much. Evan breaks the kiss, his forehead pressing against mine as he breathes against my face. His breath is warm as he pants, and I match his short inhales and exhales.

His pelvis grinds against my clit. My breath hitches with each stroke and grind. It’s too much, not enough, and everything I need all at once. I gasp, my eyes widening. He lifts his head from mine, his gaze looking into my own, and he grins.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Spencer.”

His words fill me with hope. Though I’m sure that it’s false hope. What else can it be? He says the right things, but I am not filled with peace in any way regarding him. When it comes to what he keeps from me—or rather chooses what details he wishes to share with me about his life.

Evan’s lips touch mine again. This time, he speaks against my mouth. I swallow his words and his sounds as he grunts with each downstroke. “You are mine, Spencer. You do not leave. Not fucking ever.”

And that is when I come. When he comes. It’s as close as I’ve ever come to orgasming simultaneously. My heart races and every single muscle in my body freezes as my release slides throughout my entire body.

I’m cold, then warm.

When my body begins to melt, I let out a heavy sigh, and at that moment, Evan stops pumping into my body and buries himself deep, then I feel a whole other warmth fill me. His warmth .

His lips touch mine again, but instead of a kiss, I feel his teeth nibble my bottom lip before he pulls away. We’re breathing heavily, our wild eyes searching one another’s. Deep down, I wanted him to kiss me and tell me that everything would be okay.

I wanted him to tell me that it was all nothing but a horrible mistake, that he didn’t know her, that she was just some crazy bitch who lived in town. But that’s not the case. He knows her. She was pregnant with his baby, and they have had something for a decade.

I don’t know how I feel about all of that.

No, that’s not true. I know exactly how I feel about all of it. Sick. Absolutely sick. He doesn’t release me, his hands still gripping my thighs, his gaze searching mine, and then he shakes his head once, displeasure in his face.

“Jasmine was the past.”

“A past you haven’t let go of,” I whisper.

He hums, leaning forward as he brushes his lips across mine. “The past is the past.”

“And yet, the past can come back,” I say, reminding him of myself.

Evan laughs softly, his gaze never leaving mine, and I wonder if he can actually see into my soul. It wouldn’t surprise me. The way he watches me, how intensely he stares and searches. I know he sees more of me than I do myself.

“Only a past worth keeping means an ounce of shit, beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning forward as he touches his lips to mine.

“You’ve kept her for ten years,” I remind him.

He grunts but stays planted deep inside of me before he responds. “Something that is easy, a throwaway, is just that. It doesn’t mean that it’s right, but I continued with Jasmine out of pure guilt. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

I can’t imagine the woman I met feeling anything, hurt or otherwise. What I can see is her sinking those long nails into his skin and trying to keep him. Trying to become an old lady, she sure as shit dressed the part of clubwhore.

Shaking my head once, I decide not to be a catty bitch. I don’t know her, her life, or her struggles. Maybe she really does still have pain and issues from the baby. I can imagine that something like that, a loss like that, would never go away.

As much as I want to hate her, I don’t think I can. Bitch or no bitch, I’m not a stranger to pain, but that is a pain I have not suffered, so I can’t judge her as much as I want to, and I truly do. I want to both judge her and hate her at the same time.

Evan slips from my body and takes a step backward, his pants around his ankles. Placing my feet flat on the floor, I watch as he tugs his jeans up, zipping them but not buttoning them. I slide my tongue along my bottom lip as I watch him put himself together.

He lifts his hand and runs his fingers through his hair. When he doesn’t say anything else, I grab my panties and shorts from the floor and pull them back on. I suddenly feel naked.

“I think,” I begin, my voice coming out in a whisper. “Honestly,” I continue, “I think you should let me go, Evan. Your past is clearly still at the forefront and in your future.”

The flash that appears in his gaze is something that I’ve never seen before. It’s quick, and my shoulder jerks backward slightly at the sight of it. The rage that fills him instantly causes my breath to hitch.

He rushes me again. This time, I don’t back away from him. I stand strong as he lifts his hands to cup my cheeks as his eyes search my own. He leans forward, his eyes never leaving mine, and this time, hiding nothing from me.

“I will never let you go. Not ever,” he growls, leaning in, gripping my cheeks tighter.

I’m going to have fingertip bruises, and I’m not sure I care. Having him this close to me, it’s all that I care about. I really don’t care how desperate that makes me sound. I’ll never not be head over heels for this man, even when I’m hurting.

“I’m going to tell you right fucking now, Spencer Maddison, and it will be the last time I say a goddamn word about it. I do not want Jasmine. I do not want any woman except you. Just you, beautiful.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stare into his eyes. God, this man will ruin me. I know he will, and yet, I welcome it. I almost want it. Maybe I just get off on the pain. I’m not sure, but I’m here for it.

“It’s you, Spencer. It’s always been you. I just didn’t know it until you came back to me. You cannot hold my past against me.”

“I just want the truth,” I exhale.

“Then you fucking got it. It’s you. Nobody, nothing, not a single fucking soul, but you.”

He kisses me again, this time taking me to the bed, laying me down, and devouring every inch of me.

brEW

Wrapping my arm around Spencer, I pull her close to me. She moans in her sleep, and my heart thumps against my chest at the sound. Touching my lips to the side of her throat, I slide my hand around her tits and cup one of them, squeezing gently.

“Good morning, beautiful,” I murmur against her flesh.

She lifts her hand, gripping my hair at the back of my neck as she arches her back, pressing her ass into my morning wood. I grunt as I begin to kiss her, and that’s when my phone starts buzzing on the motel room nightstand.

As much as I want to ignore it, I can’t. We just signed that deal with the Southern Mafia, and shit is not settled completely with them yet. Nipping her shoulder, I release my grasp on her tit and reach out, grabbing my phone.

Without even looking at the name flashing on the screen, I slide my thumb across and hold it to my ear.

“Brew,” I grunt.

“She’s beautiful. She’s young, too.”

I blink a couple of times before I realize who is on the other end of the line. Pulling the cell from my ear, I look at the screen and cringe at the sight. It’s Jasmine. I clear my throat and sit up, leaning against the headboard as I lift my hand and scrub my palm down my face.

“Why did you do it?” I demand.

She laughs softly, and I know she’s trying to be sexy. It doesn’t work this time, although I think that the only time it actually worked was that first night.

“I just went to your place. It was the anniversary, and I needed you.”

I don’t have to look at the calendar to know what date it is that she’s talking about. It’s the date of her miscarriage. At least, that’s what she’s claiming. I still don’t know for sure that she was ever pregnant, but I’d look and sound like a dick if I even asked.

So I never have.

“Jasmine. I got a woman now. What we had, however fucked up it was, it’s done now.”

Spencer’s breath hitches in the background, but I ignore it. This conversation needs to be done. This relationship, or whatever the fuck it is, needs to be done.

I am ready to move on, and I know that Jasmine should as well. Ten years is too long to be in whatever this toxic shit is that we’re in with one another.

“How am I supposed to pay my bills? Do you really want me working a pole again?”

I bite the inside of my cheek and close my eyes slowly, then open them and let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t really give a fuck. You do whatever you need to do. But I’m done. It’s been a decade.”

“I was pregnant with your child,” she sneers.

This conversation is over.

I am done with it and done with her.

My decision has been made, and it’s clear that she will not stand for me being anywhere near Jasmine, and I don’t blame her. I think I might kill them both if the tables were turned, and how fucking hypocritical would it be if I expected anything different?

“Ten years ago,” I state. “This is done.”

And with that, even if it makes me a dick, I end the call. Placing my phone on the nightstand, I look down at Spencer. She’s got the sheet pulled all the way up to her neck, her eyes wide as she stares straight ahead, clearly uncomfortable.

“It’s done,” I state.

Spencer turns her head slightly, her gaze finding mine. “I don’t know how I feel about this,” she admits on a whisper.

Reaching out, I grab hold of the sheet at her neck, twisting the fabric in my hand and tugging it down, exposing her tits for me. She gasps as I climb on top of her. She spreads her thighs, the thin fabric of the bedsheet the only thing keeping me from slipping inside of her.

Dipping my chin, I open my mouth and suck her tit, flicking her nipple with my tongue. She lifts her hips and whimpers.

“Feel relieved that it’s done. I know I do,” I say after lifting my head to look up at her before focusing my attention on her tits again.

Spencer’s fingers slide through my hair, gripping the strands at the back of my head as she holds my face to her perfect tits. “I never want to see her again. And I would feel betrayed if you did.”

With a grunt, I release her tit, then move over to the other one but lift my face to hers before I begin my newfound focus. “The conversation is done, beautiful. I handled it. That’s that.”

“You’ve been paying her bills,” she says on a whisper.

My lips twitch into a smirk before she says anything else. “Beautiful, I haven’t paid a bill of hers for about five years. I don’t know where you got that from, but I’m not paying her bills.”

“How is she living life without working?” Spencer asks.

I only have one answer for her. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

And that is that. I shift my focus to her tit, then to her pussy. The conversation is done. I could live my whole life without hearing Jasmine’s name again. She doesn’t mean anything to me, and if I’m being honest, she never did. It’s always been Spencer. She is mine—for life.