Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

WINTER

At the elevator my phone pinged a text alert. Unknown number. Thank you. Your generous gift helps so much...Shane & Brenna love Ms Winter! Alanna Markham"Oh my God, James—Shane and Brenna’s mom just texted me." I tossed my phone to him. "Read it." Unable to contain my joy, I jumped up and down. She has a little help now. The kids would get some winter clothes…and new jackets…and new shoes. This meant everything to me. Helping people, for whom even the smallest bit of extra help, could make such a huge difference to their daily life—

"Easy there, trampoline queen, we’re in the elevator." He said it absently while studying my phone.

"Don’t slow my roll, please. This is very good news to me, and it makes me incredibly happy to be able to help them just with this one small thing."

"It’s not a small thing," he said distractedly while tapping into my phone.

I could tell he wasn’t really paying attention to me. I doubted he even heard me. "James? What’s wrong?"

He looked up and gave me an expression that was hard to read at first, but then it morphed into one of admiration. "You have no idea how good you are. You don’t even realize it." James had been listening.

"But what I did today with the cash and the gift card was basically nothing. Just giving a tiny bit of something I have too much of, to Shane and Brenna who don’t have enough. It won’t change their situation long-term, but it helps them today. I want to do so much more, James. If I could help in a big way—"

"You will. I know it. And if I can help you make it happen sooner rather than later, then will you be my wife, Winter Blackstone? And also, you need to know I definitely won’t be marrying you just to dissolve the marriage later. That’s not part of the deal anymore."

My heart stopped beating for an instant as our eyes held. I felt the stutter deep inside my chest stab me with a jolt of pain before spreading warmth through my chest. As much as I wanted to scream YEEEESSSS from the rooftops, I knew he wasn’t being literal in the moment, but simply reinforcing his incredible offer from earlier. Oh, how I love you, James Blakney.

I put one hand over my heart and moved toward him. I came right up underneath his chin very close and cocked my head sideways. The serious expression combined with the hard set of his jaw made him look a little dangerous and a lot beautiful as he waited for me to speak. I put my other hand up to his cheek and held it there, his beard stubble feeling so much softer against my palm than it had against my lips when he kissed me before. "Well, when you put it like that, then I want you to know that I will definitely consider it, Mr. Blakney. Thank you for the generous offer, sir."

He growled sexily, brought those beautiful lips of his to mine, and kissed me. Almost as if he couldn’t help himself. James kissed the fuck out of me in the elevator of our building as we rode to the top. He owned my mouth with his tongue wildly at first, but then made slow passes and caresses. I have no idea how long we kissed—and would have happily made out with James for hours—but as I opened my eyes, the elevator door was clanging open and shut obnoxiously.

We had arrived on the eleventh floor far too soon…and the timing truly sucked. Again.

James wasthe perfect gentleman while I got ready for Lucas to pick me up. He watched my every move though, like he was the hungry lion and I was the prey. There was no mistaking his intentions anymore. James wanted me. Something last night had definitely changed the way he behaved with me. He hadn’t told me what it was. Maybe he didn’t want to embarrass me by sharing it yet. It would be like James to spare my feelings.

But if I was completely honest with myself, I didn’t care. If I wanted him, and he wanted me, then halle-fricking-lujah. I could live with whatever it was and wait to see where things went with us. Last night had been a traumatic situation that morphed into a what-the-hell-was-that-crazy-weirdness-with-his-parents showdown. Parents who believe you are marrying their son. However, I didn’t feel pressured or pushed by him. He had my back, whatever the outcome, so I could trust in that. I’d trust him with my life. And hell, if it meant I got to kiss James more, I was so down for that.

I took a deep,steadying breath as James parked in the underground garage of the Blackstone Global building in my best effort to shake off my nerves. A couple days away to think would be good for me right now. I needed some downtime to process everything, and James agreed, because he’d suggested we both do just that. I’d be back on Saturday afternoon to get ready for The Autumn Ball, which we were attending together since he’d invited me a few weeks ago. I never dreamed it would be us in any sense as other than friends, but now it would be. Waiting a couple days might actually help reconcile what James had said about marriage. To me. I should feel like a pawn, but I didn’t. "For the last couple of weeks, I’ve thought about you a lot… Winter, you’re the only one I thought of." Truthfully, James was the only man I could imagine in my life forever too. And marrying him? Well, I needed to know it wasn’t just a paper deal, because I’d only fall more deeply in love with him. So, I knew I needed some time.

I also knew that when the time came, I wouldn’t have to ask. He would be the one to initiate the discussion. Because I believed James when he’d said, in no uncertain terms, I was important to him and that he’d never hurt me. I had nothing else to compare those words against. He had always been there for me, and it was all I’d ever known with him. No reason to suspect anything different.

As he steered me toward the elevator that would take us to the helipad, his hand burned at the base of my spine. His touch felt different now. Like he was staking a claim. I shivered involuntarily as the doors closed us in together.

He promptly backed me into the corner, bracing his arms alongside my shoulders to pen me in. His big body crowded me, and his eyes did a lazy dance of staring before he spoke. "Thank you for today," he said simply in a low voice. He reached out a finger to trace my cheekbone and down to my jaw, his soft touch holding me spellbound.

I wished I wasn’t going to Blackstone Island and leaving him behind in Boston.

"Thank you for last night…and today," I replied in a whisper, hoping like hell he’d kiss me in the elevator again. Elevator kisses from James were my new favorite.

James was an incredibly beautiful man. A sculpted jaw shadowed with a few days of beard growth framed a face with the most expressive eyes I’d ever seen. I’d melt if I stared into his eyes for any period of time like I was right now. I took my offered chance and experienced the "melting" right on schedule, no problem whatsoever.

"Last night did have some very nice parts to it." He tipped his mouth down.

"I sure wish you’d let me in on that mysterious secret." I tilted my mouth toward his.

"Aren’t all secrets mysterious?"

"Yes, but I still need to know."

"All in good time, sweetheart, and I’d much rather show you anyway."

Please show me.

My heart pounded crazily inside my chest.

"Oh, I plan on it," he said, just before touching his lips to mine. Clearly, I’d spoken my request out loud.

Dwelling on my mortification was a waste with James. He had a way of stripping down inhibitions and forcing them to take a back seat to the main issue. Which right now…was to kiss me.

He owned me with those magic lips of his. Magic lips. Magic tongue. He used both to press his way inside and proceeded to devour my mouth.

I welcomed every lick and swirl of him, offering myself to be devoured without hesitation. I lost any inhibitions the moment he put his mouth on me. I couldn’t help it. Years of longing from afar finally had a place to land.

I felt his hand settle on my neck, his thumb moving slowly back and forth at the hollow of my throat, while his tongue pressed deeper inside, hot and hard. He had me trapped in the corner in such a way that I couldn’t touch him back, and it was hot as hell. Held firmly and being mouth-fucked by James, it was all I could do to hang on for the ride of the best kiss I’d ever had.

Years of dreaming didn’t even come close to doing his kiss—his passionate expertise—justice.

The flavors of whiskey and cinnamon met my tongue, delicious and seductive just like him. I felt him arch his hips inward, and I desperately sought to learn his taste. The feel of his body pressed hard against mine was sublime. My nipples pebbled into aching tips, and there was a luscious tingle where I was wet between my legs. Add one massive erection heating me further through our two layers of clothing, and I was blissfully lost in the kiss and the knowledge he was aroused as much as I was.

It all ended too soon though. When the ding of the elevator signaled we’d arrived at the top, he pulled away. I heard a moan of protest and realized it had come from me. The door opened as the thwack of helicopter rotors filled the silence. Lucas was coming in right on time. The doors swung closed again with a swoosh when we didn’t move.

"Look at me," he said.

I met his eyes upon command and saw him smiling at me. It wasn’t a smirk, and it wasn’t smug. I hadn’t seen a smiling James much in the last five years. God, it’s even worse knowing his own father was somehow involved as well. If I made him smile like this, then what did that mean for me?

I was afraid to hope.

"I’m looking," I whispered.

"You’re so beautiful to me…right now…right here…like this."

I do feel beautiful. I feel beautiful because of the way you look at me. No one had ever looked at me as if I was their...as if I was their world.

"James, I…I want you to know—"

"Shhh, sweetheart, no words needed right now. Okay?" He’d put two fingers over my lips to hush me, but strangely it didn’t bother me. If anything, it relieved me knowing he wasn’t going to allow me to take this into awkward territory. I trust this man implicitly. It’s almost instinctive.

I nodded and fought the urge to lick his fingers pressed against my freshly kissed lips.

"I’d like for you to think about what we talked about today and let that settle before we go any further. I’ll be here waiting to take you to the ball on Saturday, and maybe you’ll know more about what you want to do then." He slid his fingers away from my lips.

"All right. But, James, I want you to know that if you change your mind or have second thoughts about your offer, I will understand."

He lost the smile as he took hold of my face. "What makes you say that?"

"I don’t want you to do anything you’re not sure about."

"Oh, I won’t change my mind, Winter. This is all about you and what you want." The intensity of his eyes seared right through me as I shouted out I DEFINITELY WANT YOU inside my head. I was left with no doubt that he read my mind, because he smiled again, his handsome face lighting up for me a second time. "Are you going to say anything to your family about what we’ve talked about?"

"No." I shook my head. I didn’t want to share James with anyone yet. I needed him to be my secret for now. I couldn’t justify any good reason for feeling that way, either. I only knew it was what I planned to do.

"I think that’s probably best for now, but I do expect a text letting me know you made it to the island safely."

"I will."

He nodded once and stepped back, releasing me from my spot in the corner. Then he picked up my bag, punched the button to open the elevator doors, and led me to the helipad. I shivered, but I wondered if it was the chilly night air or that he was letting me go. I suddenly felt sad leaving him, even though I knew it was a completely irrational thought. I needed to sleep it off. Too much had happened in too few hours for me to even approach any sort of rational thinking.

The handover was quick and efficient, as he hustled me into the waiting helicopter.

"Thanks, man, for taking care of my sister," Lucas shouted over the noise.

"I was glad to do it," James fired back, as he helped get me strapped in and situated with the headset. I couldn’t be sure, but I caught a vibe of tension between the two of them. James was close with Caleb, but I didn’t recall him ever spending time with Lucas or Wyatt, so maybe they just didn’t have enough history together. Our families had known each other for over two decades, but that didn’t mean each one of us were close in the way of friendships.

Thank you, I mouthed to James silently as he finished with the straps.

I read his lips when he replied, "I’ll see you Saturday." The added wink was just for me as he ignored Lucas altogether.

Then he stepped down and shut the door behind him. I watched as he headed away to stand in the safe zone, legs planted to brace himself against the windstorm about to blast him as Lucas brought the rotors roaring back to life.

Lucas busied himself with takeoff, and I stared out the window at James waiting for us to leave.

Our eyes met in spite of the distance between us, and I felt our connection—could still taste the cinnamon-flavored whiskey of his kiss on my tongue. I imagined he might be thinking similar thoughts as the helicopter began to rise, increasing the distance between us as the seconds passed.

James nodded at me deliberately, still holding me captive even as I drifted into the skies over Boston, his eyes telling me so much more than words ever could. "Oh, I won’t change my mind, Winter. This is all about you and what you want."

Oh, I want you, James Blakney. Forever. But I need you to want it for yourself too.Because I love you.

"Thanks for lettingme pick you up tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I’ll get Willow and Roger in the morning, and it won’t take me as long," Lucas said after we had gained altitude.

"Sure. I’ll definitely appreciate it in the morning more than I do right now—when I’m sleeping and you’re flying out to Providence to get them," I teased.

"How is your hand? Are you in pain?"

"Healing, and sometimes, yes. This is why I have excellent drugs prescribed by the fine doctors at Mass Gen, but it’s only been twenty-four hours since I sliced it, so I’m feeling pretty good considering. I’m just really exhausted." I worked through the yawn that came on the instant I admitted my tiredness. The powers of suggestion to the mind were truly a thing.

"Good thing your neighbor was home instead of out last night."

"Umm, yeah. James helped me through everything. I don’t know how I’d have managed without him." I thought it was strange that Lucas didn’t sound grateful for what James had done for me last night. Again, there was some sort of negative vibe coming off my brother toward James.

"So you went to Thanksgiving with his family today?"

I nodded ruefully. "The full Judge Blakney treatment was my special treat today," I said with as much sarcasm as I could manage through the headset.

"I’ve heard the judge is quite the beast."

"Quite," I answered flippantly. "I really can’t figure out how that odious man ended up with such a lovely wife and children, because he is an asshole."

Lucas laughed at my less-than happy recollection of dinner with the Blakneys. "How is Victoria?" he asked carefully.

"She asked me to tell you hi."

"She did?"

"Mm-hmm."

My brother wasn’t a cold person. Circumstances had changed the façade he presented to the world to make him appear that way, though. Not all the time, but sometimes. There was history I knew nothing about, because he dropped the subject of Victoria Blakney flat dead and focused on piloting his helicopter instead.

Which was now taking us over the dark waters of Massachusetts Bay toward Blackstone Island. Made me wonder if there were dark waters between Lucas and Victoria. Two of my favorite people, so it bothered me to think there might be any kind of grief there. Did James know what was up with his little sister and my big brother? Time would only tell.

I fellasleep to the sounds of the ocean waves melding with the coastline where my brother’s house perched just above it. Well, actually the sound of the ocean plus the memory of that last kiss from James before he let me go. The combination of the two must have been good medicine for me, because I woke up feeling wonderful and—for lack of a better word—hopeful.

Losing my father seven months ago had been devastating, and we all missed him terribly still, but we had known death would eventually claim him long before it finally did. The grieving had been present then. Coming out of the long period of illness that led to his passing went back nearly two years. So while it was hard being without him for holidays, I felt a peace within myself for the first time since he’d become sick. Dad was in a better place where he didn’t suffer the pain of his cancer anymore, and I looked forward to celebrating him in memory now rather than focusing solely on the grief of being without him.

The opportunity to discuss with him my idea for founding a charitable organization would have been wonderful. Dad would’ve wanted every detail about my plans, and his interrogation would have been painfully—but helpfully—relentless. As a parent, he made sure we worked hard at whatever it was we wanted. No slackers allowed in this family he always said. We were taught to make goals and then to work toward achieving them. Money can be lost far more easily than it can ever be earned was another of his mantras, so I guess you could say we’d all been taught from birth that we needed to know where we were going—before it was ever possible to get there.

I felt like I finally knew where I wanted to go.

How fast I got there would depend on what I decided to do about the offer from James. Could I marry him to get access to my money? My heart wanted to, but I didn’t know if my conscience could suffer through the guilt of doing something so selfish.

"What has you smiling this early in the morning?" Caleb asked wearily as he headed for the espresso machine, looking like he’d just rolled out of bed in a rumpled T-shirt and sweats. "I’m just the Starbucks stand-in for Brooke, because after I take her this coffee, I fully intend to go back to sleep."

The sight of my brother half-awake and up to get coffee for his beloved made me chuckle.

"Don’t laugh," he grumbled.

"The two of you are adorable together. I’m just enjoying being witness to your transformation is all. Plus, you probably need some extra hours after all that mattress-dancing you two did last night. The ocean only drowns out so much."

He swung his head around and opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it, and perhaps even blushed a little.

"Kidding," I said, instantly feeling guilty for messing with him. "I was so exhausted, I heard nothing of your bedroom rodeo last night. I was busy sleep—"

"Going back to bed now, Winter," he said, stalking out of the kitchen, Brooke’s espresso cradled carefully in his hands like it was precious cargo.

The simple encounter with my brother proved beyond a shadow of a doubt just how much he was in love with his Brooke. I sighed happily for the both of them and went back to prepping the turkey we’d eat later today.

The surgical gloves kept my incision from being exposed to any bacteria and kept it dry. So far it felt pretty normal other than a little achy in the vicinity of the cut, and I was grateful that it didn’t appear I’d damaged anything permanently, like a nerve or tendon. It could have been so much worse.

Thank you, James Blakney.

As soon as the turkey was set in the oven, I headed to my room for a shower. I heard my phone chirp with a text notification the second I opened the door and stepped inside.

James: Someone is in very big trouble for not texting me last night.

Winter: OMG! I am so sorry. I was just so tired I forgot.

James: Glad u r safe but still in so much trouble.

Sweet Christ, it was hot when he turned all bossy and demanding with me. My hands shook as I decided how to reply.

Winter: Oh really?

James: Oh yes, really.

Winter: Eeep! Is it bad I just wanted to see what would happen?

James: I guess u find out on Saturday night at the ball sweetheart.

Winter: <surprised emoticon>

I waited a few minutes for another text from him but got nothing.

I had my shower and proceeded to prepare for the holiday with my family. I checked messages more than once over the course of the day and into the evening, but nothing more came from him.

James had gone silent.

And I was more confused than ever.