Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

January 31 st

10:39 P.M.

Cassie was so glad she hadn't insisted on Luis taking her home when their dinner was interrupted by the sexy woman in the red dress.

Violet.

A woman who was everything she wasn't.

And yet, Luis had turned Violet down to spend the evening with her.

When she'd come out of the bathroom and seen that he had the other woman practically in his lap, she'd been positive that she was about to be dumped. Although was it really being dumped when you weren't even actually together?

Whatever the word, it sucked to believe you were about to be sent away so the man you were lusting over could make out with someone else.

Still, she'd been prepared for it. Had her little meltdown of embarrassment in the bathroom and then pulled herself together, determined that she wasn't going to let on that she cared one way or the other who Luis went home with, even though she cared way more than she liked to admit.

Even now, hours later, after enjoying a wonderful meal together, laughing and talking, Cassie still couldn't believe he'd chosen her over Violet.

And his words from earlier had echoed in her mind all night.

She's not the woman I brought here tonight, and she's not the one I'm going to be taking home after dinner.

While she was pretty positive he hadn't meant he was taking her to bed when they got home, images of the two of them, naked and sweaty, their bodies joined together as she finally experienced the hype about sex had flitted through her mind all evening.

Was this the night?

The one where she finally lost her virginity.

Most of her life, she'd ignored the fact that she'd never felt attraction toward a man. It had made her feel like there was something wrong with her, like she was broken somehow, but she'd always convinced herself it didn't matter. That she was here for a higher purpose and shouldn't be wasting her time on frivolous things like sex anyway.

But those were all lies.

Lies she told herself because she'd let her parents' words become so ingrained that they dictated everything in her life.

Almost everything.

Because she had her secret stash of paintings and stories. Her way of acting out her secret desires.

Desires she wanted to make a reality.

With the man who was walking around the car to open her door for her.

Could she do it?

When he opened the door, could she just kiss him like she'd been dreaming about ever since she first laid eyes on him?

If she did, would he reject her?

After all, she was no sexy siren like Violet.

She was as inexperienced as it was possible to be and Luis was not. She knew his reputation, knew he was a playboy, knew he loved sex, and always kept things casual.

Did she want more than casual?

Right now, Cassie didn't know. All she did know was that her body burned for this man. The more she was with him the more she craved his touch.

Do it , she urged herself as Luis opened the door and held out a hand to help her down out of his truck.

This was one time when analyzing things, working out a list of pros and cons, dissecting every possible outcome and what could go wrong was not going to help her.

This ran too deep.

It was instinctual.

Something primal was drawing her toward this man.

So, for once in her life, Cassie allowed her brain to take a backseat and acted purely on instinct.

Leaning forward, she ignored his hand and instead wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He tasted sweet. Logically, she knew it was because of the chocolate cake and ice cream they'd had for dessert, but it felt different. Felt like something more.

While she sensed Luis' surprise, after a moment's hesitation, she felt a groan rumble through his big body, and then the next thing she knew, his lips were parting, and his tongue was nudging against her own. When she opened them, his tongue swept into her mouth, and then she could no longer process conscious thoughts.

All she could do was feel.

So many things.

Almost too many.

For someone used to burying her feelings and emotions, it was overwhelming, and she was sure that if she wasn't clinging to Luis as he plundered her mouth, she would have been overcome by them.

Time lost all meaning, and she had no idea if they'd been kissing for seconds, minutes, or hours when Luis finally pulled back.

Dazed and blanketed in a haze of lust, she mewed a protest and tried to lean back in to capture his lips again, needing more kisses. More everything. She'd take all he had to offer, and right now, she didn't even care about the consequences.

"Cass, we need to stop," Luis whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Why? I don't want to stop." She sounded needy and a little desperate, but he couldn't just kiss her like that and then expect her to be okay with nothing more happening.

"That's why we should. You're not thinking clearly right now."

Okay, that was just insulting. "I'm not a child, Luis. I know what I want."

Pulling back so he could meet her gaze she could read the skepticism there. "Do you? Do you really? Princess … are you a virgin?"

She stiffened, mortification chasing away the high of arousal, and hating the judgment in his tone as he asked. But when she tried to pull away, Luis tightened his hold on her, and when she forced herself to set aside her own judgments of herself she looked closer and realized that there really wasn't any in his expression or his tone.

Sighing she hung her head. "Yes. I'm a twenty-three-year-old virgin. Pathetic I know. But I was nine when I graduated high school and started college. I didn't even know what sex was. In fact, I ended up having "the talk" when I was ten and I walked in on my nanny and one of my classmates having sex. Then I started working at Prey when I was sixteen, and the last seven years have been busy with work."

Cassie knew she could stop there. There was no need to tell him about her fears that she was broken somehow, and she'd never missed not having a boyfriend because she'd never been attracted to anyone before.

Only for some reason, with Luis, she didn't want anything between them.

She wanted him to see the real her.

All the parts everybody else saw but also all the parts she kept hidden.

"I thought there was something wrong with me," she admitted in a whisper, breaking eye contact.

"Wrong with you?" When she didn't answer, he grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and guided her gaze back to his. "Tell me."

"I've never been attracted to a man before. Never. Ever. Never ever." Okay, she was babbling, and that wasn't going to help her case but she couldn't seem to stop. "I thought maybe I couldn't be attracted to anyone. Then I met you, and … I've been lusting after you ever since," she finished in a rush then squeezed her eyes shut so she didn't have to see his reaction to her garbled words.

Only he didn't give one.

After several moments of silence, she peeked, her eyes snapping open when she saw his satisfied smile.

"Lusting after me, huh?" he teased, but since it was good-natured, she managed a smile.

"You may have featured in a couple of my stories," she admitted. "And maybe a painting or two."

His smile grew, along with her confidence. "I think I like that, princess. But all of that is why we should stop things here."

"Because I'm a virgin?"

"Yes. Because it's not something you should change unless you're sure," he added before she could let her mind run with that idea and twist and turn it into something bigger than it needed to be.

"I'm sure you're the one I want to be my first," she told him. That was absolutely true. While she knew he was way more experienced than her and knew his reputation, she felt safe with Luis. Not just physically but emotionally and psychologically, too.

Luis groaned, and since their bodies were so close she could feel the tent in his pants against her stomach. "You know that's a mistake, right, princess? That I'm not good enough for you."

That statement made her angry. "Who says you're not good enough for me?" she demanded.

"We grew up in different worlds."

"So?" she challenged. "I want you, and maybe … I think … you might want me, too."

"Never said I didn't, princess." Tenderly, he reached out and smoothed a lock of hair off her cheek, tucking it behind her ear and then letting his knuckles linger against her skin. "I don't have much of anything to offer you."

"I'm not asking for much."

"You're asking for more than you realize."

With those cryptic words, Luis hooked an arm around her waist and lifted her out of his vehicle, then took her hand as he led her through the parking lot and into her building. He hadn't allowed her many glimpses into the man behind the playboy image, but she wanted to see the real Luis.

Already, it was more than attraction and lust. She was falling for Luis, and even though they were two very different people, she had to wonder if maybe together they could complete one another, fill in the missing pieces, and make each other whole.

February 1 st

11:55 A.M.

The mole could have planted a bomb here in Cassie's apartment, and it could have detonated already, and Luis was pretty sure the woman curled up on the couch with her laptop in her lap, tapping furiously away at the keyboard wouldn't even notice.

She'd barely said two words to him since they finished breakfast and she got to work. Although he knew it wasn't because she was angry with him or he'd hurt her in some way, they'd parted for the night on good terms, she was just in the zone.

A zone that appeared to be almost impenetrable.

Crazy woman, she forgot the whole world existed when she was locked into work mode. Last night, he'd gotten her to relax though, been able to spend time with the side of herself that she hid away and only allowed out when she was all alone.

Not that he'd met any other geniuses, but Cassie was nothing like he would have expected. She wasn't pretentious, she didn't use a lot of big words that people hadn't even heard of or that sounded odd in regular conversation. She wasn't like a robot with no thoughts and feelings, just spouting out random facts to make sure everybody knew how smart she was and was constantly reminded of it.

One thing that had quickly become clear, though, was that Cassie was struggling to find a place in the world where she could be both the genius her parents had created and a regular person who was allowed to have fun and do their own thing. It bothered him in ways he wouldn't have expected to know that she hid her interests from everyone, including her friends, hiding them behind a locked door so they wouldn't be discovered.

Now he understood why she hadn't wanted him to come and stay in her apartment with her. It wasn't about thinking she was too good for him, or even really about the invasion of her privacy.

It was fear.

Pure and simple.

Fear that someone would discover her secrets and think badly of her.

Those parents of hers had messed with her head to the point where he was pretty sure she believed her only purpose and value in life was her intellect and that if she wasn't using it every second of the day, she was being selfish and wasteful.

Well, he intended to help her learn that wasn't true.

What else would happen between them he didn't know.

Attraction—which they had in spades—aside, what else could they ever have? She was a mere kid, a virgin, so sweet and innocent, so unsure of her own value and that she had the right to do things that made her happy. He was a playboy who had vowed after almost getting his brother killed to never let anyone become a responsibility, which meant no serious relationships.

A woman had never messed him up like this before. He was always up for a good time and not just in bed. A flirty date full of banter to allow the sexual tension to mount was all fun and games. But with Cassie, he found himself wanting to protect her and take care of her.

Like right now, the fact that she hadn't budged in almost four hours, barely glanced away from the screen was bothering him.

She needed a break.

Setting his own laptop on the coffee table, Cassie didn't even blink as he headed for the kitchen. They were going to eat some lunch, then they were going to go out for a jog. She'd told him she enjoyed running, and it wasn't like the mole was going to make a blatant move in broad daylight. Then, with clear heads, they could get back to work.

Since Cassie's fridge was mostly full of fruits and vegetables, he made them both salad sandwiches and added some sliced ham to go with it. Then he added a handful of chips to both plates, filled two glasses with sparkling water, and set everything up on the table.

Then he headed back to the living area to convince his charge it was break time.

"Time for lunch, Cass," he announced, leaning against the wall and watching her fingers fly across the keys.

"Hmm?" She flicked him the briefest of glances before returning her attention to her screen.

"Lunch," he repeated, keeping his tone firm. It wasn't a request, and he'd already told her several times that he was there to take care of her, not just keep her alive.

"In a minute."

Straightening, he strolled across the room and snatched the laptop out of her lap. "Not in a minute, Cass, now. You've been on this thing all morning."

"It's called work, Luis. I know you know what that is."

The frown she shot him was adorable, and when she reached out to try to grab the laptop back, he held it up above his head.

"Hey, no fair," she complained, scrambling to her feet and standing on tiptoe to try to reach it.

"You need to eat."

"I said I'd do it later."

"Yeah, only later to you means not at all."

"Does it look like I'm starving?" Cassie asked, waving a hand at her body.

"It looks like you take great care of yourself, princess."

Her cheeks went that cute shade of red that told him she was embarrassed but also pleased with the compliment. Then she jumped up onto the couch and almost managed to catch the laptop out of his hands.

"No cheating, princess," he reprimanded.

"You're the one who's cheating. Holding it over my head when you have to be a whole foot taller than me." She huffed.

"Have lunch with me, Cass. I already made everything. All you have to do is take an hour to eat, rehydrate, and go for a jog."

"A jog as well?" Her tone was horrified like he'd suggested they go run through the sewer system for an hour instead of around the neighborhood.

"Is that really so bad?" he challenged. She had to start getting it through that smart brain of hers that she was entitled to some time for herself. That she didn't have to be on every second. She wasn't doing anything wrong by enjoying herself. What was the point in working all the time if it was never balanced with some fun? What kind of life was that? Cassie deserved more, and he was determined to make her see it.

"Umm, I guess not," she hedged, chewing on her bottom lip like she was saying something sacrilegious. "You really made me lunch?"

"What, no one's ever cooked for you before?"

"They have. We had a personal chef when I was a kid. Eating a nutritionally balanced food plan was important to my parents, they said it would help my brain to be healthy and fit so we ate right and exercised every day. That's why pizza is such a fun memory. My dad loved it, it was his guilty pleasure. Occasionally, usually after I did something to make them proud, graduated another class early, or spoke at a conference, he would insist on taking us out for a treat."

Treats hadn't been a big part of his early life either, only for completely different reasons. As an adult, he'd realized that there was time in life for both, to work hard and to play hard. Now he just had to teach Cassie that.

"We didn't eat much pizza when I was a kid either," he said, closing the laptop and sitting it down on the coffee table, then capturing Cassie's hand and guiding her to the table. His comment about his own childhood had captured her attention and she didn't fight him. "Unless you count stealing leftover pizza from the trash bins out the back of the local pizza place."

"Out of the bins?" Cassie asked, sounding horrified.

"When you're starving, you'll eat just about anything."

"Oh, Luis, I'm so sorry." Wrapping her arms around his waist she buried her face against his chest and hugged him hard. Something shifted at the contact. Something warm flooded through his system. His past wasn't something he talked much about, not even with the guys on his team who he considered his family.

"Long time ago now, princess," he assured her, returning her hug.

"Doesn't make it okay. Your mom and dad …" she trailed away and looked up at him, her big eyes full of empathy and not the curiosity he had been prepared for.

"Dad bailed just after my little brother was born. Mom and the parade of men she brought in and out of our lives were more interested in getting high, getting drunk, and getting sex."

Although he tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, Luis knew he had failed.

While he owned the poor choices he had made as a kid, and the consequences not just for himself but for his brother as well, he also knew that with parents who actually cared about him, he would never have been in that position. All he'd wanted as a kid was a way out of the life he saw hovering in his future, but his big plans on getting rich—which as an eleven-year-old really just meant a nice house, clean clothes, and food to eat—had backfired spectacularly.

In ways Cassie could never understand.

Once again, he was reminded of what different worlds they had grown up in. She'd had a personal chef, he'd stolen food for himself and his little brother so they didn't starve to death. It was crazy to think, even for a second, that there could ever be anything between a man like him and a woman like her.