Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

February 1 st

12:17 P.M.

"Umm, we don't have to go for a jog," Cassie suggested even as she tied her laces.

Although her plan had been to just keep working until she figured out any other clues the mole had left behind in their video, and already feeling a little off since she'd gone on the date with Luis last night and thus used up her quota of relaxation time, now she wanted to go.

Anything to spend time with Luis.

Just because she was working to ensure she kept her expectations to a minimum didn't mean they didn't keep spiking. And his taking care of her and making her lunch had definitely spiked them.

Too bad he seemed to have distanced himself a little after revealing that he'd grown up poor with an absent dad and an addict mom.

Did he think she judged him?

Because she didn't. He couldn't help how he'd grown up any more than she could.

Maybe this was related to the issues he'd told her he had with her being so smart, which made him feel like he was lacking.

It was scary to open up to another person, especially one you didn't know. The difference between them seemed to be that she couldn't help herself sharing with him little pieces of herself, pieces she'd previously guarded with her life, but he didn't want to do the same.

That was okay.

She guessed.

No it was.

Just because she didn't like it, and wanted him to share everything about himself and his life with her didn't mean that he actually had to.

After all, she'd told him she wasn't asking him for anything when he'd told her he didn't have much to offer her. Not that she agreed with that. So they came from different worlds, so what? It didn't mean they couldn't make a great pair.

And that was what she wanted.

It had to mean something that he was the first man she was attracted to, that she was willing to trust him with her life, her heart, and her virginity. She wanted him even if those feelings weren't reciprocated and it was terrifying.

But exhilarating, too.

Because this was just for her. It had nothing to do with the reasons her parents had her, or her need to use her gift to try to make the world a better place. She wanted to be with Luis for no other reason than because she liked him, he intrigued her, he was strong and tough, but could also be very sweet and thoughtful, and he was without a doubt the sexiest thing alive.

When she was with him, she felt sexy, too.

"You're not getting out of it that easily, princess," he teased. When she looked up at him, she saw the twinkle was back in his eyes. Whatever darkness from his past was trying to pull him back down he was fighting it, and she respected that so much.

Maybe she should have done a little more fighting of her own issues over the years and learned to be her own person rather than blindly following the path her parents had set out for her before she was even conceived.

It would be a whole lot easier to concentrate if he didn't look so good in a simple pair of sweatpants and black T-shit. As they headed out of her apartment and took the lift down to the ground floor, she could hardly take her eyes off him.

Each time she shot him what she was positive was a surreptitious glance he caught her. Shooting her a sexy smirk that told her he knew she was checking him out and thought it was either adorable or hilarious, she wasn't quite sure which.

It wasn't until they reached the ground floor and headed out into the crisp winter afternoon that she caught him glancing at her backside and realized that he was checking her out, too. Heat flooded her cheeks, and she knew she was bright red, but inside she was jumping up and down with excitement.

Luis was checking her out.

That had to be the coolest thing that had ever happened to her.

Nobody could ever claim she wasn't one hundred percent geek.

"Which way?" Luis asked, looking left to right, up and down her street.

"Left has a nice park that I often run in," she replied.

"Alone?" he demanded, voice sharp. She startled for a second before a grin spread across her face when she realized he was being all cute and alpha protective.

"Most of the time. Scarlett or Lucy will come with me sometimes, but Ella hates running. I think that girl is allergic to the outdoors."

"At night?" Luis continued with his inquisition even when she started jogging in the direction of the park.

"Well, yeah, of course. I usually run when I get home from work, then have dinner, a shower, and get into bed. Sometimes I'll run early in the morning, but I do my best work early, so usually, I head straight to work. In the summer it's often still light," she babbled, trying to hide her smile because she knew Luis was freaking out about the idea of her running alone, in a park, in the dark. "But in winter it's usually been dark for a couple of hours by the time I get out there."

"Please tell me you don't have earbuds in while you're running," he said on a groan, and this time she couldn't hold back her giggle.

"I'm not completely stupid," she assured him. "I pay attention to my surroundings, I have mace in my pocket, and I vary my route so I'm not predictable."

"Still think you should get a treadmill," he muttered under his breath making her giggle again.

"I like the fresh air on my face when I run."

"So, open a window."

"Hey, do you give guys these same lectures about safety?"

"Different for guys, princess."

"That's not fair."

"Life usually isn't."

Well, she couldn't argue with that. It sucked that, as a woman, she had to be so much more cautious and careful, when most men would never have to worry about that, but she kept herself as safe as she could be while still doing the things she needed to do.

"How often do you train at Prey to keep up your self-defense skills?"

"We used to train once a week, but when everything started last month, we haven't had any time to run them."

"We should do a refresher tonight before dinner," Luis said.

While she knew he was talking about safety, and it was an important issue at the moment because of the threat against her and her team, Cassie's mind took a turn in a completely different direction. The two of them in her living room, his arms wrapped around her body, maybe something would happen between them. A little kissing, maybe even some making out, touching and stuff.

The thought of Luis' hands roaming her naked body sent a jolt of lust straight through her and she stumbled, her foot catching on something, sending her down to the ground.

"Cassie." Luis was beside her instantly, helping her ease over to sit on her bottom. "You hurt? What happened?"

Mortification had her cheeks burning hot. Not only had she made a fool out of herself falling down, but the reason for tripping was so embarrassing it didn't deserve to be voiced aloud.

"Umm … just rolled my ankle," she said, quickly averting her gaze so he didn't see the truth in them. That she'd twisted said ankle because she was dreaming about making out with him.

"Let me see." His large hands grasped her calf just above the ankle she'd hurt and lifted it, probing the joint and making her hiss in pain. "We need to get you home. Get some ice onto that."

Before she could even respond, he had one arm around her back, the other hooked under her knees and he was lifting her off the ground.

"What are you doing?" she squeaked.

"You can't walk on it." He said it so factually like it would be impossible for her to do so, even though she knew she absolutely could walk on it the mile or so back to her building.

"Luis, what a surprise running into you here," a sexy siren voice drawled from behind them. When Luis turned, Cassie saw the woman from the restaurant last night standing there.

"Violet," he returned with a terse nod, and since he was cradling her in his arms, Cassie could feel the tension in his body.

But was it because he wished she wasn't there so he could flirt back with the woman who he obviously shared a history with, or because he just wanted Violet to leave him alone?

"I'm glad I ran into you," Violet continued, either ignoring or oblivious to the tension radiating off Luis. "I was going to call and ask if you wanted to get together tonight for dinner."

Cassie tried not to let the fact that this gorgeous woman had done things with Luis she could only dream about, but it was hard when the woman was right there, batting her fake lashes and flirting despite Cassie's presence.

"I can't," Luis said.

"Oh. What about tomorrow?" Violet asked, shifting slightly and managing to stick her chest out and make her already large breasts even more prominent.

"No."

"What about the day after?" Violet persisted.

"Look, Vi, I need to get Cassie home, she hurt her ankle, and we need to ice it."

"Right. Sure. I'll call you. We'll do dinner some other time," Violet called out as Luis turned his back on her and headed back the way they'd come.

"Some other time," he muttered under his breath, and her heart sank.

Luis seemed to think they couldn't be together because they came from two different worlds, but she felt a whole lot more like it was because they were in two different leagues. There was him, tall, handsome, sexy, strong, brave, confident, and experienced, and then there was her, the opposite in every way.

It wasn't that he wasn't good enough for her, it was that she wasn't good enough for him.

February 1 st

12:34 P.M.

Things felt uncomfortable between him and Cassie and Luis didn't like it.

At all.

Usually, it didn't bother him if people liked him or not. As a kid, there had been plenty of people who ridiculed him because of the way he lived, things he had no control over. Not just other kids, but some teachers looked down on him and his brother, too. Even now as an adult, there were people who judged him for his attitudes toward women and sex. That never bothered him either, you could go out for fun and have a good time without the need for promises and commitment. It wasn't like he treated any of the women he spent time with badly, and he was always clear and up front about what he was and wasn't looking for. There were just as many women as men who were only looking for something light-hearted and fun.

None of that ever worried him.

But knowing Cassie was unhappy with him, possibly judging him, left him with this awful knot of cold dread sitting heavily in his gut.

It was screaming at him that he needed to rectify things and make them right.

The only way to do that was to tell her more about himself and his past, something he dreaded. Not only because he was ashamed of the poor choices he'd made and what had almost happened because of it, but because he knew it was going to change how she saw him.

While he couldn't say the few days they'd spent together had been smooth sailing, far from it, she looked at him with an innocent interest he'd never seen before. Most women focused only on his body and his charming, easygoing smile.

Cassie looked past that.

She looked inside him and saw something most people didn't.

That was something he wasn't ready to lose.

But he could either be honest with her and let the chips fall where they did, or let her keep thinking he had any intention of answering the phone when Violet called.

She might be twenty-three, but Cassie didn't see herself as a sexy young woman, she was still coming to terms with that side of herself because she had been groomed since birth to see herself only as a genius with a brain that needed to be utilized. It was easy for her to doubt herself and not see herself the way others did.

And in the end, that was what had him talking. This wasn't a time when he was going to be selfish and keep his secrets, allowing Cassie to believe she was somehow lacking when, in reality, she was everything anyone could ever want.

"Princess, we need to talk," he announced as he set a glass of water and some painkillers on the coffee table beside the couch where he'd set Cassie up when he got her back to her apartment. He'd taken off her shoes and socks and wrapped an icepack around her already swelling ankle, and now he lifted her legs, sat on the couch beside her, and then rested them on his lap.

"Oh, umm … sure. Okay." Cassie looked like she was bracing herself for bad news, her entire body going stiff.

"Relax, Cass," he said with as much of a smile as he could muster given the anxiety churning inside him.

"I'm trying, Luis, but … you obviously have a history with that woman, and … it seems like she's not over you. You said you'd see her some other time," Cassie whispered, vulnerability blooming on her pretty face.

"Actually, I just repeated what she said," he clarified. "And it was said with an eye roll because I was annoyed with her sudden insistence on hooking up when all we've ever had was casual fun from time to time."

"You didn't date her?" Cassie asked.

"Nope. I don't date, princess. Ever. I have fun with women. We might go out to dinner, laugh and talk, then spend a few hours in bed together, but we don't date. There are no promises of anything, and I always make sure that the woman is up for a good time and nothing else."

"Why don't you date?"

It was an obvious enough question, and one he assumed she would ask. One he intended to answer, but still, he got that sinking feeling like the bottom had just dropped out of his world.

Not even his team knew everything about his childhood, it wasn't something easy to share. For some reason, he felt like he owed Cassie the truth. The whole truth. Maybe because she'd allowed herself to be vulnerable with him, sharing how hard it had been to be a child genius and all the things she'd missed out on.

"You know about my biological parents, how my dad left, and my mom was too busy with her boyfriends to pay much attention to my brother and me, so I'm sure you can guess that I wanted out of that life. I wanted more for me and Miguel. It didn't help matters that I was dyslexic and all the kids at school called me stupid. I felt stupid, Cass. Really stupid. I couldn't succeed at school no matter how hard I tried, so eventually I just gave up, stopped trying."

"Oh, Luis, that's terrible. Learning new things should always be fun. Just because you have dyslexia doesn't make you stupid at all. Not even a little bit. All you needed was for a teacher to help you find other ways of learning."

"No teachers cared about the dirty, half-starved little boy with no parents to insist on him getting the education he needed." It sucked to say, but it was what it was. Maybe if he'd had parents who had pushed for him, worked with him at home, and hired him a tutor if it was what it took, then he wouldn't have grown up feeling like a completely useless idiot.

"Your teachers didn't care about you?" Cassie sounded horrified. "Teachers are always supposed to care about kids. And if it was obvious you weren't being taken care of at home then they should have done something to change that."

"They should have but they didn't. The area we lived in wasn't a great neighborhood. There were lots of gangs and I started thinking that maybe that was a way out. I was eleven, failing the sixth grade, and realizing that I didn't have a lot of options for my future. I had no friends, and the gang offered a family that I desperately craved. So I joined. Miguel was nine, but he did everything I did, I was his big brother, his hero."

A role he hadn't lived up to.

Instead of taking care of his little brother, he'd almost gotten him killed.

"You loved him, you would never hurt him," Cassie murmured, her hands moving to clasp his, entwining their fingers.

"But I did hurt him. I almost got him killed. The gang used us one night to break into a store, we were to pretend to be lost and get the owners to open up. It worked. Only the owners were armed. There was a shoot-out. Miguel got shot and almost died. Normally, if you're involved in the commission of a felony, you'd go down for first-degree murder regardless if you did the killing or not. But Miguel and I were so young that we weren't charged. We were removed from our mom's custody and put in foster care. We actually lucked out and wound up with decent parents, both former military, who gave us the discipline and tough love we both needed."

"That's why you became a SEAL?"

"Only thing I could do."

"It was not." Cassie huffed indignantly, scrambling up so she was straddling his lap. "You are a smart man, Luis Aguilar, and don't you dare tell me otherwise. I bet anything that your foster parents helped you with your dyslexia and you graduated with good grades."

How was it possible for this woman to have so much confidence in him?

She barely knew him.

Yet she was right.

"I did okay. Passed everything. Did better than I thought I would have," he admitted. But it didn't change the years of feeling like an idiot, like he was too stupid to learn.

Nor did it change that he'd almost gotten his brother killed.

As though reading his mind, Cassie's hands framed his face, her gentle fingers caressing his skin. "You made a silly decision as a little boy who had no guidance, no one to show him the right way to go. It's not your fault, Luis. Not at all. I bet Miguel doesn't even blame you. It's your parents' fault and the grown men in the gang who used two little boys to do their dirty work. I hate that you went through that, that it left scars that will never completely fade, but don't let it steal your future. Do you think you can give me a chance? Us a chance?"

While a big part of him wanted to say yes, the truth was he honestly wasn't sure. He'd been forced to take on the responsibility of his brother at such a young age, and his choices had almost gotten Miguel killed.

Could he really risk allowing someone else to get that close to him? Taking on another responsibility, and possibly hurting that person, too?