Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

February 2 nd

4:32 P.M.

"Thanks for coming, I need help," Cassie said without preamble when she threw open the door to her apartment.

Because they were supposed to be going on a "real" date tonight, Luis had insisted that Tate and Zander come and stay with her so he could go and get ready. Since she had no idea what a "real" date entailed and how it could possibly be different from when he took her out to dinner the other night, she didn't really understand why he wanted to leave for a few hours.

But in the end, she wasn't complaining.

Given her lack of experience she'd decided that she needed guidance from her friends. The sisters she'd always wished for when she was a little girl that she'd found when Athena Team was formed, and she got to go to work every day with the three best women in the entire world.

If anyone could help her figure out what to expect tonight, it was these three women. Scarlett had just met and fallen in love with Tate at the beginning of the year, and Lucy wasn't even healed yet from the injuries she received in the events that led to her falling for Zander, Scarlett's brother. Ella might be single, but she dated from time to time so she should also have something helpful to contribute.

"That's what we're here for," Scarlett said, smiling at her as she carried an armful of clothing into the apartment.

Behind her Lucy hobbled in, one foot in a moon boot. "And we brought everything you asked for," she added, gesturing her head at Ella whose arms were also filled with clothing and bags that Cassie assumed contained the other things she'd asked her friends to bring with them.

"So, want to give us all the details?" Ella asked, a twinkle in her green eyes as she nudged the door closed behind her.

To give them some girl time, Tate and Zander were going to stay out in the hall so they could watch over all four Athena Team members and give them some privacy.

Which was good.

Talking about her inexperience with Luis or her friends was one thing, but she didn't know Tate or Zander very well, and she would not be comfortable having these conversations with them in the room.

"Luis and I are together. Well, sort of. We're going to give it a try even though he was a little reluctant at first," she blurted out. Keeping secrets had never been something she was very good at. With effort, she could keep things like surprise birthday plans or a kid's birthday and Christmas presents to herself, but not things like this.

It was like ripping off a Band-Aid, best just to do it and get it over with.

"That's great," Scarlett said with an encouraging smile. "Luis is on Tate's team so you know he's someone you can trust, and I know he has a reputation as a playboy, but all it takes is finding the right person for everything to change."

Scarlett would know, her struggles to trust people had been tested to the extreme when she first met Tate, and he'd believed she was guilty of what she was being set up for. After a lifetime of believing everybody would walk out on her, it was hard for Scarlett to learn to trust. It was equally as hard for Tate who blamed himself for his father getting sent to prison and had also worked on changing how he viewed the world because he'd fallen for Scarlett and wanted a future with her.

"That's how it was for Zander," Lucy added, taking a seat on the couch. "After what happened to his team, he didn't believe he was worthy of love, but all he needed was for one, and then two people to stand by him and he's just now beginning to learn that he's as deserving as anybody else. In so many ways he's more deserving because of what he's been through."

"I've never fallen in love before, but I believe it can happen, and I believe all it takes is one second in time to make that connection," Ella said a dreamy smile on her face. It was Ella's collection of romance novels that had gotten Cassie started in her drawing and writing. She'd memorized the names of the books Ella read then purchased her own copies. It was how she was able to draw and write things she had no personal experience with.

"I think that's how it kind of happened with me and Luis," she said thoughtfully. "From the first time I met him, I felt this weird buzz of attraction." Pausing to draw in a breath she decided to just get it over with and share everything, then her friends could help her choose an appropriate outfit for her big first date. "I've never been attracted to a man before."

"Never?" Lucy asked, but there was no judgment in her tone.

"Never. I thought there was something wrong with me, that that part of my brain had been taken over by intellect and just didn't exist. Then bam, Luis comes along and suddenly I can feel all these things that are so weird but so wonderful all at the same time."

"She's definitely falling hard and fast," Scarlett said with a giggle.

"I am, and it's terrifying. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I feel so out of my element," she admitted.

"Something I don't think you're used to," Ella said.

"I'm used to not fitting in, but I'm not used to not understanding things, and Luis sure is hard to figure out."

"All men are," Lucy told her.

"Can confirm," Scarlett added.

"I've dated a bit and can also add my vote to that," Ella said.

"I think he's as surprised to be falling for me as I am to be falling for him. He's told me a bit about his past." Not that she would share any of that with her friends, that was Luis' private business, and he got to choose who he told. "So, I understand why he went the playboy route, and even though at first he told me he didn't have much to offer me, I think he's realizing this connection we share isn't going away, and he wants to give it a chance."

"Do you trust him?" Scarlett asked.

Even though a yes rushed immediately to the forefront of her mind, Cassie took a moment to consider it. Luis was reluctant to trust her because of his own issues, but had rejected the sexy Violet three times now, and told her he wanted their first time to be special. He'd opened up and shared things that were hard for him to say aloud, so she had to believe he trusted her.

If he trusted her then her answer was an easy one.

"I do. Maybe on some level I have for a while now. I didn't even realize it at first, but Luis has been the star of most of my recent stories and pictures." Moving to the coffee table, she picked up one she'd drawn just after she first met Luis and held it out to the others.

"You drew this?" Ella asked, eyes wide with surprise.

"This is amazing," Scarlett said, pure awe in her tone.

"Can you paint me and Zander?" Lucy asked.

"Jinx," Scarlett said before she could answer. "I was just about to ask the same thing, if you could paint me and Tate."

Cassie beamed. "You really like it?"

"Love it," Scarlett corrected.

"Are you sure?" She wasn't trying to beg for compliments, she just wasn't sure she'd gotten everything correct. "Because I've never seen a … penis … before. Well, of course, I've seen pictures but not one in real life. I'm a virgin." Despite knowing her friends loved her and would never mock her, Cassie braced herself for criticism of some sort.

"That's okay, Cass," Ella said gently, coming to take her hand. "We all have different life experiences that shape us, there's no right or wrong when it comes to when you're ready to take that step."

Scarlett and Lucy nodded their agreement, and while she searched all three sets of eyes, she didn't find any judgment, so she forced her tense muscles to relax.

"That's why I need your help. I've never been on a date before, and Luis is making such a big deal out of it. He said he wouldn't have sex with me until he's taken me out properly because it's a big step and he wants me to be sure I want to take it. I don't want to mess anything up, but I don't know what I should wear, I don't know how I should do my hair, or my makeup. I don't know what I should say, or what I should do, and I'm so nervous I think I might be sick."

All three women laughed.

"Oh, honey, that's how it goes," Ella said. "Dating is an experience that's for sure."

"Especially when you're with someone who really means something to you," Lucy added.

"So, you guys will help? I don't want to mess up."

"We'll help, but, Cassie, that's the thing," Scarlett told her. "When it's the right person there's nothing you can do that would mess it up. Luis isn't looking for Ms. Perfect, he just wants to spend time with the woman he's falling for. All you have to do is be yourself."

How could she be herself though?

For twenty-three years she'd just been the genius girl who could learn and master anything put before her. This freer side of her was so new that she wasn't sure how to portray that Cassie.

Despite her friends' reassurances, what if she did mess up? What if she couldn't be the freer Cassie who drew and wrote love stories? What if all she could be was boring old genius Cassie?

What if Luis didn't like that and decided he was out of her league after all?

February 2 nd

5:04 P.M.

"About time."

Luis threw a glare over his shoulder as his brother strolled into the house like he owned the place.

As similar as they were in some ways, he and Miguel were night and day in others. They looked the same, had the same Hispanic features, and the same playboy attitude when it came to their dating lives, but that was where the similarities ended.

While he carried around a huge weight of guilt and responsibility that impacted everything he did, Miguel was free from that burden. Plus, his brother had been only nine when they went into foster care, those couple of years made all the difference in his ability to bond with their new parents. And Miguel had spent almost three months in the hospital recovering from the gunshot wounds that had almost claimed his life. By the time he was discharged, he'd already gotten to know their foster parents, and it was exciting for him to come home.

Whereas for Luis, eleven years old, witnessing a horrible trauma where three people had been killed and his own brother critically injured. With the cops involved and the fear he'd felt about going to prison and losing the only family he had, the experience of going to live with foster parents was entirely different.

They were good people, and he came to both respect and care for them, he'd even say he loved them, and it had been a huge loss when his foster mother died two years ago. But it hadn't been an easy ride for him, and there were scars left behind that he had yet to completely deal with and overcome.

"You got something you want to say?" Luis asked his little brother as Miguel helped himself to one of the donuts sitting in the box on the counter. It was clear from his brother's expression that he was practically bursting with whatever it was he'd come over to say.

"Yep, sure do. Starting with exactly what I said. About time you finally realized that you deserve to have people in your life who love and care about you."

"Never said I didn't," he said, feigning nonchalance as he finished tying a ribbon around the bouquet of flowers he'd bought to take to Cassie tonight. Although the florist had put a ribbon around the bouquet, it wasn't the right shade of pink and wasn't Cassie's favorite. So, he'd bought another himself because everything had to be perfect.

This was all new for Cassie and he wanted to give her everything she deserved.

Miguel scoffed. "No, for sure you haven't spent your entire life pushing everyone away. Keeping everyone at arm's length. Making sure that no one can get too close to you, cutting off any connection that might go somewhere before it has a chance. Even me."

"That's not true," Luis protested. "I have you, our foster family, my team." Just because he kept things casual with the women in his life didn't mean he lived as some sort of recluse.

Another scoff. "When was the last time you came by for Sunday family dinner?"

Okay, so he didn't join their foster dad, foster siblings, and their families for the regular Sunday dinners, but he wasn't the only one who didn't go every week. It was more of a whoever was free could come but there was no pressure kind of thing.

"I saw everyone at Christmas, which was only a bit over a month ago," he told his brother.

Miguel rolled his eyes and jumped up to sit on the counter. "Come on, bro, don't pretend that what I said isn't the truth. You're so determined to make sure that no one can hurt you again that you're missing out. I'm glad you finally woke up and realized that you never did anything wrong, and you didn't deserve to spend the last two decades punishing yourself."

"Did nothing wrong?" he growled, setting the flowers down before he crushed them as his fingers curled into fists. "I almost got you killed, Miguel. I let you join a gang, I let them use us to break into that store even though I knew it was wrong. Of course, I did something wrong. I failed you."

"Failed me, huh?" Miguel drawled, posture relaxed. If it wasn't for the fire dancing in his dark eyes, you'd think he was talking about something he wasn't all that interested in. "So you didn't change my diapers even though you were barely more than a toddler yourself because if you didn't do it, nobody else would? You didn't go scrounging through garbage bins to find food for me to eat so I didn't starve? You didn't shield me the best way a little boy could from Mom's violent boyfriends, taking hits that left your little body black and blue so I wouldn't get hurt? You took care of me, Luis. You were the only one who did."

That was all true, but it didn't change anything.

He was responsible for his childish choices to join a gang because he thought he could earn money that would change both of their lives.

"You almost died because of me, Miguel." How did his brother not get how deep those scars would run? Miguel was right, he'd spent their childhoods looking out for his little brother, and then he'd almost gotten him killed. Of course, he was going to have trouble moving on from that.

Shoving off the counter, Miguel stormed across the few feet separating them and glared at him. "But I didn't die. I. Didn't. Die. When are you going to get that? Was it a stupid idea to think you could join a gang and make enough money to get us a better life? Sure. Of course it was. But you were eleven, Luis. Eleven . There were no adults in our lives who cared about us, and you were trying to do something, to do what you thought was the best thing. You were a child, you didn't have the ability to think about it the way you have in the years since. In the end, everything worked out for the best for both of us."

It was much easier to be objective about the whole thing when you weren't the one who had made such a monumentally bad decision.

But they had been lucky to have foster parents who were former military and knew how to handle kids who had been through a rough life.

"We wound up in a home with parents who were strict but fair," Miguel continued. "They loved us. And not only did we get parents but four older siblings who took looking out for us seriously. I've hated seeing you maintain distance from anyone who might get close to you, knowing it was because of me."

He'd never realized his brother felt that way.

They'd never spoken about this before. There had been too much else going on at the time with Miguel in the hospital and them both settling into a new home and new school.

"It's not because of you," he assured his brother. "It's because of me. I failed in my responsibilities to you, and I never wanted to be in that position again. Didn't think I could deal with failing someone else. So, yeah, I kept things casual with women. I never cared about it either. I enjoyed my sex life, enjoyed having fun with women knowing it was never going to go anywhere. I didn't feel like I was missing out until Cassie."

Miguel grinned. "I'm thrilled for you."

"It's still early," he hedged. Technically, they hadn't even gone on a date yet although the dinner they'd shared the other night kind of felt like it was one. There were no guarantees that things would work out between them.

"She's different, she made you rethink everything you believed you wanted, made you confront your own fears and issues. If you weren't dead serious about her you wouldn't be willing to give her a chance," Miguel said confidently.

There was no arguing about that.

If he didn't think Cassie was worth it, he wouldn't be taking her out. He wasn't so heartless that he would have sex with her knowing that was all it would be, but he wouldn't have been willing to risk confronting his greatest fears.

"I'm terrified I'm going to mess things up with her," he admitted. "That I won't be there when she needs me. That I won't be able to protect her from the mole. That even if she's physically safe, I won't be able to give her what she deserves, and I'll wind up hurting her somehow."

"That's life, bro," Miguel said, slapping him on the shoulder. "There's always the risk of messing up and someone getting hurt. But in the end, you can't let that fear control you. Especially when the payoff is so high. Chances are, you're going to mess up at some point, but you two will figure it out and work through it. One thing I know for certain is that Cassie is a lucky woman to have a guy like you."

Those were the nicest words his brother had ever spoken to him.

Possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.

Problem was, his ability to believe them.

Cassie was intelligent, beautiful, sweet, kind, thoughtful, brave, and strong. He definitely felt like she brought a whole lot more to the table than he did.

But he also had to acknowledge that some of that thinking was a result of his own insecurities. He had to find a way to shut them down or he really would wind up messing up the best thing to ever happen to him.