Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

February 2 nd

11:27 A.M.

It was pitch black.

And freezing.

Cassie was disoriented and had no idea which way was up and which was down.

The force of hitting the water left her already bruised body feeling like it had been slammed into concrete.

Everything happened so quickly that there hadn't been time for her to take a proper breath before they were sailing through the air and then the boat was exploding behind them.

Already her lungs were burning, screaming for air.

Only down here there was no air.

This was how she was going to die.

Drowning alone in the middle of the ocean.

There were no guarantees that Luis had survived the explosion. He'd been between her and the boat, which meant that he would have taken the brunt of the impact. He could have been killed outright or killed on impact with the water.

Even if he had survived and been alive when he hit the water, he could have been knocked unconscious and be drowning at this very second.

Or already drowned.

Panic clawed at her chest, it ordered her to do something only she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

Think.

Calm down.

Figure something out.

You're a genius, surely you have something to offer .

The words did little to calm her, but they worked enough that she knew what she had to do.

Swim.

She had to find the surface.

If she stayed down there she was dead for sure, but if she could make it up to the surface then she had a chance.

Someone would have seen the explosion, someone would have called for help. If she could get back up to the surface, all she had to do was stay there until that help arrived.

How she was going to do that she had no idea.

She couldn't swim, didn't even know how to float let alone tread water and wait for help. And swimming to the shore was totally out of the question. If it was up to her to save herself then she was going to drown.

Stop it!

Stop thinking about drowning.

Swim.

It can't be all that hard.

People do it.

Kids do it.

Even toddlers can learn to swim.

If they can do it then so can you.

The pep talk actually helped and panic receded enough that she was able to drag her arms through the water and kick like crazy with her legs. That's what she'd seen people do when she went to the beach. They kicked and speared their arms through the water and they moved.

It worked.

Her body began to glide through the freezing water, and for one blissful moment, Cassie actually believed that she had a chance.

Her joy was short-lived.

Yes, she was moving, but she had no idea if she was going in the right direction.

There was no way to see down there, it was too deep and too dark. Even though she kicked with everything she had, and windmilled her arms around like she was trying to fly, she didn't seem to be getting any closer.

Where was the surface?

How were you supposed to find it?

Any second now her lungs were going to force her mouth to open in a desperate attempt to find air.

Only there was no air.

Only water.

Water that would quickly fill her lungs, suffocating her, and she'd drown.

Kick harder.

Kick faster.

Find the surface.

The words played on a loop in her head, only her body was growing heavy. The cold and the lack of oxygen taking a toll.

It no longer felt like she was swimming through water, it felt like she was swimming through mud. Thick, gooey mud that clung to her, making her limbs heavier, too heavy, too hard to move.

She couldn't do this.

She couldn't.

The darkness of the water seemed to seep into her mind, filling it up and making it even harder to move.

Harder to think.

Giving up, Cassie stopped kicking and stopped trying to drag herself through the water. There was just too much of it. Knowing they hadn't been all that far from shore when the boat exploded didn't help. It felt like she was out in the vastness of the ocean, miles from civilization.

Just as a sob tore through her, and her mouth opened involuntarily, allowing the onslaught of water to begin its descent into her lungs, something wrapped around her waist, and the next thing she knew she was flying through the water.

Moments later, her head broke the surface, and she began to choke on the fresh, clean air.

The water she'd swallowed came back up as she coughed and spluttered, and a hand thumped her on the back, helping her to expel everything she'd inhaled.

Now there was too much light, almost too much air, and she didn't know what to do with it all.

She'd been dying, and then all of a sudden, she wasn't.

Too much to process.

Her brain didn't seem to be able to focus on anything, and it was a good thing it didn't seem to need to.

Hands were on her body, urging her backward so she lay looking up at the clear blue sky. An arm wrapped across her chest, and her head rested awkwardly on a shoulder.

Then they were moving.

Smoothly, seamlessly moving.

Time blurred, her mind refused to get with the program and think of anything else other than how close she'd come to drowning.

Part of her registered that Luis had also survived, that he'd found her in the dark water, pulled her to the surface, and was now swimming her back to shore.

The other part of her—the bigger part—was in shock and could do nothing other than hang limply in his hold and allow him to save her life.

Again.

He'd saved her when she'd been buried alive in the lab and now, he was saving her in the ocean.

Saving her like it was the easiest thing in the world.

She knew he was a SEAL, that the water was like a second home to him, but to her he was a hero. A man who was able to do the impossible and save both their lives while she contributed absolutely nothing.

When she was swung up into a set of strong arms it took her far longer than it should have to figure out that they'd reached the shore.

She could hear shouting.

Knew it was Luis because she could feel his voice rumbling through his chest, but she couldn't process the words.

The air on her cold skin made her shake.

Not just little trembles, but huge muscle spasming jerks, that went on and on like they would never stop.

Something soft was wrapped around her and then she was being cradled on someone's lap, strong hands rubbing at her chilled skin.

She knew it was Luis, knew his touch and his scent, but her brain wouldn't dislodge from this foggy fear it was trapped in.

"It's okay, princess, you're safe now. You're okay. You're back on land. It's going to be okay. Just rest, relax, and concentrate on your breathing, that's all you have to do right now. I've got you, Cass. I've got you." Lips touched the top of her head, and like magic, the world shimmered back into focus.

She was still shaking, still terrified, but she could feel herself returning to normal.

Looking up, she saw Luis' worried eyes looking back down at her. They were sitting on the sandy beach, both wrapped in blankets. A group of people nearby was watching them, and when she turned her head to find the ocean she could see the fiery remnants of the boat they had been on.

"You saved me," she whispered through a raw throat. "I couldn't find the surface, I was going to drown, but you saved me."

"Shh, it's all right now, princess, it all worked out okay," he soothed.

"Because of you." If he hadn't been there, she would have drowned. She'd been swimming the wrong way. Heading deeper down to the sandy depths of the ocean. If he hadn't found her and pulled her up, she would have died down there. Grabbing his face, she pulled it down so she could crush her lips to his.

She was alive.

He was alive.

They'd survived.

Luis had saved her life, he was her hero. She would never forget what he'd done for her.

"Thank you," she murmured against his lips. "Thank you for saving my life."

Amusement danced in his eyes, dimming some of the worry, and he smiled down at her. "I'd save your life any time, but, princess, don't put yourself in danger again."

She laughed and there was only a hint of hysteria to it.

But that laughter died when she saw the rivulets of red running down his right arm.

Shoving the blanket aside so she could get a better look, she saw a nasty-looking five-inch long gash just below his shoulder.

Luis was hurt.

Bleeding.

He'd almost been killed because of her bringing him to the boat.

"It's okay, princess. I'm fine, it's just a scratch," he tried to reassure her.

Only it was the straw that broke the camel's back. The shock of what had almost happened, what she'd almost lost, hit her like a ton of bricks and she threw her arms around his neck as she burst into a fit of noisy tears.

February 2 nd

2:21 P.M.

As surreptitiously as he could, Luis kept an eye on Cassie as he drove her back to his place.

They'd both been checked out at the hospital. She'd been cleared, her lungs looked good and the doctors were confident she hadn't inhaled much water when her lungs forced her to try to take a breath of air even though there was none to be found. She did have a few new bruises and a couple of small cuts from the debris from the boat, but there was nothing serious, nothing needing her to be admitted.

The gash on his arm that had freaked Cassie out had needed stitches, but other than that he was perfectly healthy, even if Cassie had needed to hear the doctor repeat that over and over again.

While they might be both physically okay, Cassie was still in shock, and he couldn't get over the terror he'd felt when he breached the surface and been unable to find any sign of her.

Those seconds it had taken him to search the water for her would forever be seared into his mind.

His fears he wouldn't find her in time, that she'd been killed in the blast, or that she'd drowned because she didn't know how to swim would never completely fade. They were more scars littering his psyche, and if he wasn't holding her hand, needing the touch to ground him, he wasn't sure he'd be able to believe that he'd gotten to her in time.

She's alive.

Maybe if he kept telling himself that, eventually, he'd believe it.

Worse was knowing that even though she'd survived the boat exploding, it didn't mean she would survive whatever came next.

The mole wasn't giving up, that much was clear. They'd been waiting for them to be on the boat before activating the bomb and taking control of the boat, driving them out into the ocean so their means of escape would be limited.

Just because he knew the mole hadn't necessarily been targeting Cassie specifically didn't help. Whether the mole hadn't cared who from Prey or Athena Team they killed didn't make Cassie any safer.

If anything, it made her less safe.

Because it was clear the mole didn't care who they hurt. They weren't just in it for the money from selling the drug either. This seemed too extreme, too personal for that. The safer option would have been to lie low and let things blow over after Scarlett had been kidnapped and it became known someone had tried to sell the Reactivator.

But the mole hadn't done that.

Instead, they'd doubled down, started targeting the other women on the team, and tried to kill Scarlett again, then Lucy, and now Cassie.

As much as he wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and put her in a padded room where nothing bad could happen to her, Luis knew he couldn't do that. All he could do was stay by her side, fight off anything that wanted to take his girl from him, and pray that it was enough.

Right now, she also needed him to take care of her psychologically and emotionally, and maybe doing that would help him feel like he was doing something meaningful.

"Hey, princess, we're home," he said, dragging Cassie's attention away from the window she'd been staring out ever since he put her in the car to bring her back to his place.

She gave him a wan smile that didn't come close to making it to her eyes. "Are we the only ones here, though, or is there another crazy ex sitting naked in your bedroom waiting for you?"

He laughed even if it felt a little forced. If she was making an effort then he would as well. "There better not be. I want time alone with my girl."

A real smile softened her features, and her fingers squeezed his. "Your girl?"

"I've got no idea how this whole boyfriend girlfriend thing goes, but I'm willing to give it a try if you are?"

Struggling with her seatbelt, she managed to free herself of it and then practically launched herself at him. "Of course I want that. I want you. I don't know how to be someone's girlfriend either, I've never even been attracted to a man before you. But I definitely want to try. My parents might have pushed too hard and made me do too much studying without anything else to balance it out, but one thing I did get from my childhood is a love of learning. I want to learn what it means to be in a relationship, I want to learn about you. And I want to learn about sex. Will you make love to me, Luis?"

Her words shocked him, and for a moment, he lost the ability to speak.

She wanted to have sex?

Now?

Just go jumping right into the deep end even though she didn't know how to swim?

While his body craved hers, there was no way he was having sex with her just because she'd almost died. Not when she was a virgin and shouldn't be throwing that away spur of the moment because of an extremely close call.

"Princess, I'm not having sex with you," he said gently.

Before he could say more or explain, Cassie yanked herself out of his arms, her expression stricken. Then she threw open the car door and ran through the garage and into the house.

Bigger and faster, he caught up to her just as she was about to run up the stairs and no doubt hide herself away in his bedroom just like she'd done at her apartment when she was upset with him.

Nope.

No hiding.

Not this time.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, Luis lifted her off her feet. Cassie fought him, struggling to get out of his hold, but again, he was bigger and able to pin her arms to her sides, and then shift his stance so he caught her legs between his.

Pressing a kiss to her neck, he breathed in her sweet scent, allowing it to remind him that she was here, safe, and in his arms. "Princess, you really should let people finish their sentences before you jump to conclusions."

"You said you didn't want to have sex with me."

"No. I said I wasn't having sex with you. There's a difference."

"Not from where I'm standing."

He chuckled. "Cass, you're a virgin, when—and note I'm saying when not if—we have sex, I want it to be because you're ready. Because I've wooed you properly, taken you out on a real date, and you're ready to have sex. Not just because you're shaken up over what happened today and that you could have died."

"I could have lost you," she whispered, so much anguish in her voice that he shifted his hold on her so she was facing him, her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands on his shoulders.

That's what she was hurting the most over?

Almost losing him not almost losing her own life?

This woman knew how to break him with a handful of words.

Resting his forehead on hers he whispered back, "And I could have lost you. But I didn't. You're here. You're okay. And I want nothing more than to take you to bed and celebrate life. If you were any other woman, I would, and screw the consequences. But you're not any other woman, Cassie. You're you. You're special. I don't want our first time to be born out of fear, I want it to be because we can't keep our hands off each other for a second longer."

"I can't keep my hands off you." She huffed, making him chuckle.

"Then let me take you out to dinner tonight. A proper date, then if you still feel that way after we get home, we can have sex, and if you decide you're not ready I can wait. I can wait as long as you need," he vowed. And it was true. Waiting when he knew what he was going to get in the end was no hardship, even if he had to take a thousand cold showers to survive the wait.

"I guess I can wait until tonight," she said like it was the hardest thing in the world, and he chuckled again.

"What we're building here, Cass, it's different than anything I've had before. Those women, they didn't mean anything to me. They were just about having fun and getting my needs met. But with you … with you, it has to be special. I need to know that I'm not taking something from you that you aren't willing to give. I need to know that you're ready and I'm not taking advantage. I need to know that it's special to you, too."

"Oh, silly man, it's special, it's going to be more than special, it's going to be perfect because it's you and me. You're special, Luis. Even if your parents didn't make you feel that way, and even if your guilt tells you that you aren't, you are. You're special to me. One of a kind to me. The only man who's ever stirred up these feelings in me."

There was no way Cassie could know how deeply her words touched him. No kid wanted to grow up feeling unwanted. Yet he'd grown accustomed to that feeling and made sure he never put himself in a position where he gave someone a chance to care because if he gave them that chance, and they didn't take it, it would only confirm what he'd always believed to be true.

Taking that chance with Cassie was terrifying yet he couldn't imagine not taking it.