Chapter Nine

Cade

T hen - Age Nineteen

I lean up against the side of my car, watching as January's classmates pour out of the school into the bright sunshine. A few wave or say hi as they pass by, but most are so absorbed in their phones and conversations they don't even look up.

As usual, I'm not here for them anyway. I'm here for my girl. My classes let out yesterday for the Thanksgiving break, and I'm dying to see her. Now that she's working at a local coffee shop after school and on weekends, we don't get nearly enough time together. We barely see each other. I miss her like crazy. It's making me grumpy.

Or maybe I'm in a foul mood because the anniversary of my mom's death is tomorrow. This is the first year I've had to face it without Ma Lucia. The thought of going to the cemetery without her is fucking me up a little. I just want to wrap my arms around my girl and get lost for a while.

"What the fuck?" I mumble, pulling my sunglasses off my face when she strolls through the double doors of the school and steps out into the sunshine. She's dressed in a little pink skirt and a white top with a tiny bow that gathers the material right below her breasts. It's modest but sexy. With her long blonde hair piled up on top of her head and a happy smile dancing on her lips, she's beautiful.

Some asshole has his arm flung over her shoulder, talking to her. She steps away, making him drop his arm from around her, but she tilts her head back to peek up at him and then laughs. He tips his down toward her, his smile growing. They look real fucking cozy.

My blood boils when he reaches out and tugs on her ponytail. That's our thing. I've been tugging on her hair since we were little kids. No way does some other son of a bitch get to do it too. I growl and stomp in their direction, my heart pounding hard against my ribcage.

"You'll do great, Tony," January tells the guy as I approach. She still hasn't even noticed me. "I know you will."

"You gonna come cheer me on, Sunshine?" he asks, clearly flirting with her.

January laughs and shakes her head before hoisting her bag up her shoulder. "I actually have plans, but text me and let me know how it goes, okay?"

"What the fuck?" I bark.

January spins to face me. A big smile spreads across her face when she sees me. Uncertainty filters through her eyes, her smile slipping when she notices my thunderous expression.

I step up beside her and flick my gaze over the douche still standing there in his Affliction shirt and faded jeans. He looks like a jackass with his blond hair in a fauxhawk and a thick gold chain around his neck.

"You need something?" I snap at him.

"Nah, man. I'm good." He shakes his head and dismisses me, leering at my girl. His gaze flicks up and down her body, desire evident in the way he licks his lips. "See you later, Sunshine."

"Bye, Tony."

Tony winks at her before jogging away.

"Sunshine?" I ask, not even looking at her. The way I'm feeling right now, I'm liable to pin her to the wall and show Tony and every other little bastard at this school that she's mine. Possessive jealousy courses through me with each beat of my heart. "Why the fuck is he calling you sunshine , baby girl?"

"He just calls me that." She says it like it's no big deal that some other dude has a pet name for her.

"Does he just touch you like that, too?" I demand, watching as he disappears into the crowd headed toward the buses.

"Touch me?" She sounds confused.

"Yeah, touch you," I mutter. "I saw him with his arm around you."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, that ." I turn to face her, only to see her frowning at me like she doesn't see a problem here.

"I moved away from him," she says, her emerald eyes flickering across my face.

"Not the point, January. He shouldn't be fucking touching you at all."

Hurt trickles into her expression. "He's just a friend, Cade," she says, pitching her voice low so it doesn't carry to her classmates who are still flowing out the doors and down the sidewalk around us. "He flirts with everyone, even our teachers. He doesn't mean anything by it."

"Does he know about me?" I demand, not mollified by her explanation or assurance that he's just a friend. He wants her. That much was obvious by the way he smiled at her like she hung the moon.

"Of course he does." Her eyes narrow, irritation flashing through them. "You don't trust me?"

"I don't trust him," I correct. "You need to tell him to back off before I do it."

"Don't tell me what to do, Cade," she snaps at me.

A group of her classmates slow down, casting furtive glances in our direction.

"Keep fucking walking," I snarl at them.

A couple of sets of eyes go wide. They all hurry away, whispering back and forth to one another.

"Stop being a jerk," January hisses at me, her cheeks flushing with anger or embarrassment…I'm not sure. "Tony is my friend, and I'm not going to stop talking to him just because you're in a bad mood. And don't talk to my classmates like that. They aren't your boys, so don't boss them around."

"Uh, no. You're not going to be his fucking friend," I growl at her, ignoring the rest of the bullshit she just said. Maybe I order my crew around, but I'm not a dick to them. And the only reason the crew even exists is to protect her infuriating little ass. "I'll break his jaw."

"Why are you being like this?" she demands, propping her hands on her hips to glare at me.

"I don't know. Maybe because I came to pick up my girl , only to find her letting some other guy hang all over her and call her cute fucking names. And then he tugs on her hair, and instead of my girl telling him to fuck off, she tells him to text her like she doesn't have a damn man already. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Is that how it goes?" I regret the words as soon as I say them, but the damage is already done.

She jerks back like I slapped her, the color draining from her face as tears fill her eyes. "You are such a dick, Cade," she practically yells at me. "And I'll be friends with whoever I want!" With that, she turns and storms off. "Don't even think about following me. I'm riding with Mariah!" she shouts over her shoulder.

"Fuck," I mutter, watching her disappear into the crowd that's now blatantly staring between the two of us. I glare at all of them and then stalk to my bike, too worked up to even think about following her. If I do, I'll just say something else stupid, and then she'll really be pissed.

I can't believe I just said that to her. January has never once given me a reason not to trust her. She's struggling just as hard with us not having as much time together as I am. Worse, maybe. But she would never cheat on me. She loves me. I have never doubted that. Until today.

She's right. I am a dick.

My hand goes to my chest, where I rub, trying to ease the ache taking up residence there. I really can't believe I actually said that shit to her. She's probably crying right now.

"Fuck," I growl to myself, flinging myself onto my bike.

"I think I screwed up," I admit to my mom early the next morning. I'm sitting beside her grave, a bouquet of flowers in my hands. The grass is wet, but I don't give a shit. I barely slept last night. Guilt rode me hard all night. I feel like an asshole for what I said to January yesterday.

She isn't answering my calls or texts. I even knocked on her front door once, but she didn't answer it. Didn't even yell at me to go away like she used to do when she was upset and wanted to be left alone.

I sigh and rest my head on the side of my mom's headstone. A nest of lesser goldfinches chirp loudly from a tree a few feet away. Their mom flits back and forth, trying to keep them in the nest even though they keep giving her the slip and popping up on the sides of the thing. They'll be flying off soon.

"I practically accused January of cheating on me," I confess to my mom, closing my eyes and letting the early morning sun beat down on my face. "Some guy had his arm around her. I was so damn jealous. Being away from her so much is hard. I feel like everyone I love is slipping away from me. You're gone. Ma Lucia is gone. Titan's doing his own thing and barely talks to me unless I hunt him down and make him talk."

Seeing January with some guy hanging all over her made me see red. I'm terrified to lose her. She's the only light left in my life. She's beautiful and so fucking sweet. I worry someone else is going to swoop in and steal her from me because I'm not there for her like I should be. She deserves someone who can take her out and show her off…someone who can spend all his time with her.

I'm halfway across the city most of the time, locked away in the library, trying to make sure I pass my classes so I can give her the life she deserves without relying on the money my mom didn't want anything to do with. Most days, I just crash in my dorm instead of driving back to Ma Lucia's.

What if she decides she's tired of waiting for me to get my head out of my ass? At least some guy like the douche yesterday can be there for her. They're in the same school, doing the same shit every day.

"I wish you and Ma Lucia were here," I whisper, swallowing down the lump rising in my throat at the thought of losing January. "I'm not sure what you'd have to say about the situation, but I know you'd love January. You'd probably smack me on the back of the head and tell me to stop being an idiot."

"You aren't an idiot."

My eyes fly open to find January standing a few feet away, watching me. She's dressed in an oversized pink hoodie and a pair of skinny jeans with ballet slippers on her feet. Her hair is down and her bright pink fingernails match her hoodie. She offers me a sad smile, and I know she got about as much sleep as I did last night. Her eyes are still puffy from crying, with dark shadows beneath.

The sight makes me feel like an even bigger asshole.

She takes a couple of tentative steps in my direction and then stops.

"I am an idiot," I whisper, setting the flowers on my mom's grave and then wiping my hands on my pants. "I never should have said that shit to you yesterday, baby girl. That was fucked up."

"Why did you say it?" she asks, cocking her head to the side. She studies me intently, those bright emerald eyes flitting across my face like she genuinely wants to understand.

"I was jealous," I admit, swallowing hard. "I saw him with his arm around you, saw you laughing with him, and it made me so fucking jealous that he's there with you all the time and I'm not. You deserve someone who's there to make you that happy every day."

"He doesn't make me happy," she whispers, blinking rapidly. "He might have made me laugh, but he doesn't make me happy, Cade. You make me happy."

"I barely even see you anymore. I feel like shit because I miss you constantly."

"I miss you too." She bites her bottom lip, worry turning those green eyes a touch darker than normal. "Are you…do you regret being with me?"

"No! God no," I hurry to assure her. "I love you like crazy, January. I just feel like being with me is keeping you from living a full life. I worry that being with me is taking you away from the things you should be doing."

"Being with you is the best part of my life." She takes another couple of steps toward me and then sits directly across from me, pulling her legs up to her chest to wrap her arms around them. "I don't feel like I'm missing anything by being with you. Yeah, being away from you so much sucks, but I'm proud of you for working so hard to juggle everything you juggle." She watches me for a second. "Do you really feel like you're losing everyone?"

"You heard that?"

She nods.

"Yeah." I glance away from her, peering up at the nest of birds in the tree overhead instead. They're still running their mother ragged, taking turns popping out of the nest while she tries to push them back inside. "I've never had to face this day without Ma Lucia. I guess it just hit me that I don't have many people left. Titan barely talks to me anymore. I rarely see you." I shrug a shoulder. "After my mom died, I was completely alone for a while. It wasn't long, but I thought I'd be on my own forever, and then Ma Lucia found me in that group home. She became my family. So did you and Titan. Now she's gone, and it feels like I'm losing both of you too. I feel like I'm on my own all over again."

"Oh, Cade." January puts her hand on my leg. "You aren't alone, and you aren't losing me. I love you so much. I don't regret being with you. I've never wanted anyone but you."

"I don't trust Tony," I tell her, moving my gaze back to her to find her watching me with tears in her eyes. "You might not believe it, but he wants you. That's why he was flirting so hard with you."

"I don't want him though." She gives me a small frown. "I've never cheated on you. I would never cheat on you. You don't have to trust him, but you do have to trust me, Cade. You think I've never been jealous of the girls you go to school with? You're older, sexy as hell, and crazy smart. They all want to be with you, but I've never once thought you would cheat on me. Mandy Wright wanted you so bad when we were growing up. She talked all that crap about me because she was jealous you were with me. But I never once thought you'd cheat with her."

"Mandy is a bitch," I say, annoyed by the mere mention of that girl. It pisses me off that she made January's life miserable for so long. Nothing about her appeals to me. I never had any interest in her. She's more Titan's type. God knows, the two of them have been dancing around one another since we were little. Thank fucking God someone else got her pregnant before he did. She doesn't come around nearly as often now that she has a kid to worry about.

"She is a bitch," January agrees with a little laugh. "But the point is that I trusted you even when she was hanging around you all the time. She would have dumped my brother in a second if you'd given her even a second glance, but I never doubted you. I still don't."

"I don't doubt you either," I promise her. "I was being a dick yesterday. I didn't mean what I said. I was just pissed that I missed you and he had his hands on you. I've been off all week, thinking about today."

January frowns and then crawls across the grass to me. She nestles into my side, putting my arm around her before she lays her head on my chest. "You should have told me."

"Didn't want you worrying about me, little monster."

"I'll always worry about you, Cade. I love you."

I press my lips to her forehead and linger there, a swell of gratitude coursing through me. Despite me being an ass yesterday, she still came here today so I didn't have to face this alone. Yeah, I love her. So damn much I can't breathe through it some days.

"I love you too, baby girl. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I think I do," she whispers. "I feel it too, you know. I may not be as old as you, but I feel the same thing you do."

"I won't stop you from being friends with Tony," I mumble into her skin. The last thing I want is for her to be friends with the dick, but I trust her. If she wants to be friends with him, I have to let her, even if I don't like it. That's how this shit works.

"Thank you." She cuddles close to me. "You really think your mom would have liked me?"

I pick her up and put her in my lap, turning her to face me. "I know she would have loved you," I promise her, smiling. "You remember the day we met?"

She nods.

"You were so tiny," I say. My smile grows at the memory. "You were running as fast as you could to get to Titan. Those little legs couldn't keep up. When you fell, you looked up at me with those bright green eyes, and I remember thinking that my mom would have loved you. You were like a little doll. I decided that I was going to take care of you so you didn't fall down anymore. That way, you wouldn't ever have a reason to cry. I don't like it when you cry, and I knew she'd be proud of me for making sure someone as precious as you was taken care of."

January blinks, sending a tear down her cheek, which makes me grumble. She smiles and bats my hand away when I try to wipe it from her cheek.

"I thought you were a hero that day," she whispers. "You've been my hero every day since. I never met your mom, but I love her because she made you who you are. You're such an incredible person, Cade. Even when you were hurting after you lost her, you cared more about making others happy than you did about yourself. Your mom had to be as amazing as you are. I know she'd be as proud of you as I am. I bet she's watching over you right now, smiling because you turned out so perfect."

I brush my lips across hers, my heart pulsing with emotion. She might think I'm perfect, but she's wrong. There is no one more perfect, more priceless, than she is. If letting her be friends with Tony keeps her happy, then I'll swallow my own tongue before I stop her. Whatever it takes to keep her with me.

My phone rings, blaring through the quiet library. I hurry to silence it, only to pause when I see Titan's name flashing across the screen. He hasn't called me in weeks. He didn't even call on the anniversary of my mom's death this year. I haven't heard a word from him in the two weeks since then either.

"Shh!" a chick at a table across from me hisses, glaring when my phone continues to blare across the room.

I wave her off and swipe to answer the call.

"Where are you?" Titan asks without preamble.

Wariness shoots through me at his tone.

"School. Why? What's wrong?" I'm already grabbing my shit and shoving it into my bag. Something's wrong. He wouldn't be calling me otherwise.

"You need to get home now," he demands, his voice hard.

"Titan, fucking tell me what's wrong," I snap, earning an annoyed huff from the girl sitting across from me. I shoot her a hard glare, silently telling her to mind her own business.

She jerks her gaze away from mine, muttering under her breath.

I don't spare her another thought, instead slinging my bag over my shoulder and jogging through the library. As soon as I push through the doors into the late afternoon sunshine, I head toward my bike.

"It's January," he says as I run through the parking lot, my bag bouncing on my back. "Some little motherfucker at school cornered her and tried to force himself on her."

My blood freezes in my veins. My feet stop moving without my consent, nearly pitching me forward. Ice grows in my chest, fear for January overriding everything else. "Tell me she's okay," I whisper, gripping the phone so tightly my fingers scream in protest. "Please tell me he didn't hurt her."

I can't even say the word rape out loud. Just thinking it makes me feel like I'm going to lose it.

"He didn't get that far. She kneed him in the balls and slugged him in the face. He ran off," Titan says, still snarling like a pissed-off animal. "She's upset, but she's okay."

"Who was it?" I start running for the bike again.

"His name is Tony Black," Titan says.

"Motherfucker!"

"Quan says he's been running around with Kaleo since he moved here a couple of months ago. I'm guessing Kaleo put him up to it, trying to get at the two of us."

Rage courses through me, running so hot and fast that my blood no longer feels frozen. It feels like it's boiling in my veins. I'm going to find Tony and kill him. Right after I kill Kaleo for sending that little motherfucker after January.

He's been quiet the last few months, staying off our turf. I should have known he was up to something.

"Don't let her out of your sight. I'm on my way," I order Titan, then hang up the phone and shove it into my pocket. As soon as I'm on my bike, I pound the handlebars, yelling loudly. That fucker put his hands on my girl. Tried to hurt her. She's probably so fucking scared right now.

I race through Los Angeles, weaving in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed. Thankfully, there aren't any cops in my path. I'm not sure I'd stop if they tried to pull me over right now. I'm so mad I'd refuse. I'm not stopping until January is safe.

How many times is Kaleo going to try to get to us through her? He tried with Corey, and now this.

No more. That shit ends today. No one else will ever use her again to try to hurt me or Titan.

Thirty minutes later, I screech to a stop outside Kaleo's house. The place is a hot mess. The blue paint is faded, and the windows are dirty. The yard is overgrown and oil spots stain the driveway. He should be embarrassed for letting his mama live like this when he's running around in new kicks and tossing drug money all over the place.

He's sitting on the porch with Micah and a kid I don't know. His feet are up on the railing, and he has a beer in his hand. He's laughing, but then his eyes come to me. He sobers instantly, worry washing through his expression.

"Kaleo!" I roar, slamming the kickstand down and climbing off the bike.

He climbs to his feet, handing his beer to Micah. He mutters something to him and the kid and then jogs down the sidewalk toward me, his hands up like he's trying to appease me. "Kincaid, man. I didn't have anything to do with that shi–"

He's still talking when I launch myself at him.

"Oh shit!" Micah yells.

I hit Kaleo hard, knocking him to the ground. He lands on his back, his head bouncing off the cracked cement. Before he can even move, I start wailing on him like he deserves. My fist connects with his face over and over.

"You stay the fuck away from January!" I roar and hit him once more.

A tooth flies out of his mouth, and blood runs down his chin. He's too stunned to fight back. No one's come after him like this in years. He probably doesn't even know how to defend himself without a gun in his hands.

That doesn't stop me from breaking his nose.

Micah and the kid come running down the steps toward us, their feet pounding down the cement.

"You send anyone else after her, I'll fucking kill you!" I yell and punch Kaleo in the face a final time.

"Fuck," he grunts, trying to throw me off him as blood pours down his face.

Micah and the kid grab me, dragging me off him.

I yank free of their hold, knocking the kid to the ground in the process. Micah takes one look at my face and backs up, making it clear he's not interested in getting the same treatment his boss just got. I'm so pissed, I wish he and the kid would try to jump me. They wouldn't win.

"Where the fuck is he?" I ask Kaleo, breathing hard as I stare down at him. Part of me desperately wants to wrap my hands around his throat and end this shit here and now, but I keep my feet planted. Killing him will only land my ass in jail, and I can't do that until I deal with Tony and get to my girl.

"Jail," Kaleo wheezes, pushing himself up off the ground onto his hands and knees. Rage rolls through his expression, but he doesn't come after me. He knows this isn't a fight he can win. I'm twice his size and running on sheer rage. "I turned him over to LAPD an hour ago for sexual assault."

"You sent him after her."

"That shit wasn't ever part of the plan, Kincaid. He was just supposed to flirt with her a little. Get your big ass riled up." Kaleo spits blood onto the ground and then climbs to his feet to face me. "I like January. She's a sweet girl."

I don't believe a fucking word he says. If he turned Tony in, it was to save his own ass. He knew I'd come after him for this shit.

"Send anyone else after her, and I'll kill whoever you send and then come for you," I promise him, meaning every word. "He gets out of jail, you better get him the fuck out of town. If I find him, I'll kill him." I stomp back to my bike.

Kaleo, Micah, and the kid stay where they're at, watching me. Hatred rolls through Kaleo's expression, and I know I probably just made this war between us so much worse. He's going to come at me with everything he's got for kicking his ass on his own turf with his boys there to watch.

"Fuck," I roar and peel away from his house, headed toward January's.

By the time I make it there ten minutes later, I don't feel any calmer. My entire body is screaming at me to get to her and make sure she's okay. I pound up the steps and then bang on the front door.

Titan opens it without a word and points toward her bedroom.

"January!" I shout, running down the hall toward her.

Her mom is on the bed with her, but hops up as soon as she sees me in the doorway. I damn near fall to my knees when I catch sight of January. She's got a scratch across her cheek and a ring of fingerprint bruises around her upper arm. Her face is pale, her eyes rimmed in red. She's still crying, her entire body shaking with the force of her cries.

Jana moves out of the way, squeezing my shoulder as I rush toward my girl.

"Cade," January cries, launching herself out of the bed and into my arms.

I catch her, holding her tightly. She wraps herself around me, burying her face in my throat. Her body shakes as she sobs so hard she chokes. I sink down onto the bed with her and squeeze my eyes closed, trying not to lose it. She needs me to calm the fuck down and take care of her right now.

"It's okay," I whisper to her, rocking her back and forth in my arms. "Everything's going to be okay, baby girl. I'm right here, and no one else is ever going to touch you again." Even if I have to kill every motherfucker in Kaleo's crew, I'll make sure no one else ever comes for her.

It takes her a long time to calm down.

When she finally stops crying, I glance up to find that her mom and Titan have disappeared, leaving us alone. I lay her down on the bed and then stretch out beside her, sheltering her with my big body. She curls up against me, clinging like she's afraid to let me go.

"You want to talk about it?" I ask her, running my fingers through her hair.

"I thought he was my friend," she whispers, her little voice so sad. It breaks my heart for her and renews my desire to kill Tony at the same time. "He was nice to me. And then today…he said he had something for me. He pulled me into the boy's bathroom. I thought he was just joking, and I told him that I had class, but then he asked me out. When I told him no, he got really mad. Said that I shouldn't be leading him on if I wasn't going to…wasn't going to fuck him."

Jesus. I squeeze my eyes closed and take a deep breath.

"I told him to let me go, but he wouldn't. He grabbed my arm." She winces like she's remembering the feel of his hands on her body. "Then he tried to kiss me. I tried to fight him, but he's a lot bigger than I am. When he tried to pull my shirt off, I screamed as loud as I could and then kneed him in the balls and punched him."

"He scratched you trying to get your shirt off?" I ask, running my fingertips over the angry red mark as gently as possible.

She nods. "Quan heard me screaming and opened the door. When he saw what was happening, he dragged Tony off me. I don't remember what happened after that, but Tony ran off." She shivers and pushes her body closer to mine. "Quan called the police and then called Titan to come and get me. Did they find Tony yet?"

"Yeah, baby girl," I whisper to her. "He's in jail. He'll never hurt you again."

"Okay," she whispers back, some of the tension draining out of her. Even then, she clings like she's terrified to let me go.

I stay with January until she falls asleep.

"Thank you," Jana whispers when I slip out of the bedroom a little while later. She's standing right outside, her back against the wall and tears in her eyes. Exhaustion weighs heavily on her. "I didn't think she'd ever stop crying."

I pull her into a hug. She looks like she could use one.

She pats my back. "You're so good to my little girl."

"I'll always be good to her," I promise, meaning it.

"I know you will. You're a sweet boy, Michael. Ma Lucia would be so proud of you." She gives me a tired smile and then pats me on the cheek. "I'm going to sleep with her tonight so she won't be alone if she wakes up."

"That's probably a good idea," I agree, although I want to be the one in that bed with January, protecting her. Her mom clearly needs to reassure herself that her little girl is okay, though, so I won't fight her on it. I'll just crash on the couch so I'm here if my girl needs me. "I'm going to check on Titan."

"The boy who did this to her is in jail?"

"Yeah, Curtis Kaleo turned him in," I tell her.

Jana nods and then slips into the bedroom with January.

I watch as she climbs onto the bed with her and brushes her hair back from her face. They're so much alike, it's unreal. Jana is a little taller than January, and her hair is graying. Weary lines are etched into the skin around her eyes, but she's as sweet as her daughter. She works so damn hard to take care of January and Titan. She's a nurse, working an ungodly number of hours each week. I think she and my mom would have been great friends had they ever met.

I find Titan on the front porch, staring out into the dark.

"She's sleeping," I tell him, sinking into one of the chairs beside him.

"She was hysterical," he says, pain in his voice. "Mom and I couldn't calm her down. I thought she was going to hyperventilate."

"She'll be okay, Titan," I promise him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "We'll make sure of it."

He jerks his chin in the semblance of a nod.

"I may have fucked up."

He glances over at me.

"I went after Kaleo," I mutter, looking away from him to the street. Half the lights are out. Someone keeps busting them out with rocks. Every time I come home from school, I have to call and ask the city to have them replaced. I think they're about to give up on keeping this block lit up, but I don't want January out here without enough light to see in case Kaleo ever comes lurking around in the dark. "He's going to retaliate."

"Figured that's what took you so long to get here," Titan says like he's not surprised. "You make it count?"

"Yeah." I nod, staring down at my bruised knuckles. "I made it count. He won't come after January anymore. He knows I'll kill him if he tries. He says he turned Tony over to LAPD."

"Good," Titan grunts, though I'm not sure if he's talking about me making it count or about Kaleo turning Tony in for the shit he tried to do to January today. Not sure it matters either way.

"Maybe I should cut back on my course load so I'm around more," I muse, running my fingertip along a trail of dust on the arm of the chair.

"I've got it, man," Titan says, shaking his head.

"If he starts some shit–"

"If he starts some shit, I'll handle it. If you hadn't gone after him for this, I would have." Titan shrugs a shoulder, shooting me a look I can't decipher. "He had it coming for sending that motherfucker after January. If he retaliates, I'll deal with it. That's what you have me for anyway."

"You don't have to do it alone, Titan."

"Yeah, I do." He shoots me another telling glance. Sadness lingers in his gaze. "You can't drop your classes. January will never forgive herself if you do. You're good at this school shit. You need to keep your nose clean and finish it so you can give her the kind of life she deserves. I can handle Kaleo. Besides, I've got the boys to help me if shit gets too out of hand around here."

"You know this is the most you've said to me since Ma Lucia died?"

"Told you then we were drifting," he mutters.

"Bullshit," I growl at him. "We weren't drifting. You backed away. You didn't want us to leave you behind, so you decided to leave us behind first."

He shrugs again. "It is what it is. I'm not going to be the reason the two of you don't make it out of here. She's yours to take care of now, so I suggest you worry about her and let me worry about shit around here. It works better for everyone that way."

"For everyone or for you?" I ask him when he climbs to his feet.

"For everyone," he says, jogging down the steps. "Believe me, man. I'm the last person you need dragging you down. You're going to get the fuck out of here and take my sister with you. That's all you need to be worried about."

With that, he jogs down the sidewalk without a backward glance.

"Fuck," I swear, wishing like hell he'd snap out of whatever he's thinking and realize we're going to worry about him regardless of how much distance he tries to put between us. He's her brother and my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. I just wish he'd get that through his thick skull and stop all this bullshit.