Chapter Sixteen

Cade

Then (Age Twenty-Two)

"You asked her to marry you?" Titan asks as soon as I step out onto the front porch and close the door behind me. He's standing on the far side, his arms braced on the railing and his back to me. His head hangs low between his shoulders. Defeat radiates from him.

"No," I tell him, refusing to be swayed by his stance. It's not a lie because I didn't ask her to marry me. There wasn't a question involved. I wasn't even about to give her a chance to shoot me down. Not that I think she would or anything, but still…I wasn't taking a chance with that shit.

"You put a ring on her finger," he says, still not turning to face me.

"You've known since we were kids that I love her. Don't know why you're suddenly surprised I put a ring on her finger," I mutter, crossing my arms and leaning back against the door frame. It kills me that things between us have reached this point where the only time we talk is to take swipes at each other.

I'm still mad as hell that he's running around with Kaleo. Part of me resents him for forcing me to lie to her every goddamn day. Except to omit the fact that I'm a millionaire, I've never lied to her.

"Fuck," Titan huffs and then sighs. "I don't want to fight with you, man. I'm glad she chose you. You'll take care of her, give her the kind of life she deserves. I'm not mad about it."

"Then what do you want, Titan?" I ask, staring holes in his back. "Because it's her birthday, and I'd rather be in there putting a smile on her face than freezing out here with your moody ass."

He jerks like my words wounded him, but I doubt that. What I think stopped mattering to him a long damn time ago. Well before I ever even realized that, as much as I wanted him in my life, he didn't want me in his. I resent him for that, too. Maybe my fuck-up was the excuse he used when he went running to Kaleo, but I think he was just looking for a reason all along. He grasped onto the first one he could find, regardless of what anyone else thought.

"Fuck this," I mutter and turn to go back inside to January when he doesn't say anything. He already ruined the day she got accepted to UCLA. I'll be damned if I let him ruin this one for her too.

"Wait," he says when my hand lands on the doorknob.

I lift my gaze to find him watching me this time. Regret shines in his eyes, and sorrow clings to him. He appears wrecked as he pushes his hand through his hair, fucking up those perfectly tailored spikes he's worn for as long as I've known him. He doesn't seem to care. He props himself up on the porch railing and studies me.

"I lied to you," he mumbles.

I snort, not surprised by that.

"I didn't start dealing for Kaleo because of you. I did it because January didn't get her financial aid."

"What are you talking about? Of course she got financial aid."

"Not all of it," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. He kicks at a loose nail in the porch railing. "Not enough to cover her expenses. Mom found out a couple of weeks after Tony attacked her that she made too much because of all the hours she worked. They weren't going to give January all the financial aid she needed to attend a school like UCLA. I found Mom sitting in the living room, bawling because she couldn't give her little girl her dream."

"Shit," I mutter and release the doorknob. I press my forehead to the door. We both know January wanted to go to UCLA because of me. That's the only reason she picked such an expensive school.

"It's a good school," Titan says like he knows where my head is at. "I never blamed you for her wanting to go there. Didn't blame you for the choices I made to make sure she got to go, either."

He might not blame me, but he doesn't know about the millions still sitting in a trust fund. Had he come to me and told me about January, though, I would have emptied that damn account to get her to UCLA. But he never said anything. Not a word.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, looking up at him.

He shrugs. "You had enough to deal with. I didn't want you worrying about this, too. I knew you'd go to Kaleo if you knew, and I didn't want you throwing away your life just to make sure she got what she wanted. She needs you. After Tony attacked her, you were the only one who could calm her down. I realized then that you'll always be the one she needs when she's hurting. You love her the way she deserves. She's happy with you, and I know you'll always fight to keep her safe. She'll never have to go through shit alone so long as she has you. It was easier for me to be the sacrificial lamb. I had nothing to lose by going to him. You did."

"I wouldn't have gone to him," I mumble and shake my head. "I'm a millionaire."

Titan laughs like he thinks I'm messing with him. He sobers when I don't laugh, too. He cocks his head to the side, his amusement dying. "You're serious, aren't you?"

I nod. "Found out the day Ma Lucia died. My mom's parents were rich. Her dad owned a bunch of wineries or distilleries or something. They left everything to her. When she died, it passed to me."

"Jesus Christ," Titan breathes, shock written all over his face. "You never said anything."

"Didn't want it to change us." It's my turn to shrug. "My mom and Ma Lucia didn't need the money to make a life for themselves. I didn't think I needed it either. I'd rather live on this block for the rest of my fucking life than lose you and January over money I never asked for and never wanted. But I would have emptied that fucking account for her if you would have come to me."

"Does she know?"

I shake my head. "No one does."

"Jesus," he whispers, shaking his head regretfully. "Her scholarship came through right after she got her acceptance letter. She's got enough to cover her tuition and living expenses. She won't need your money. She won't have to touch the money I put aside for her either."

"But you kept on dealing for him. Why?"

"At first, I did it because I was pissed off at you," he admits. His brow furrows like he's thinking hard about his answer. "You threw down a gauntlet, and I'm an asshole who couldn't resist picking the damn thing up. I wanted you to hate me. Figured it'd be easier that way. You'd get January out of here and never look back."

"You are an asshole, but I never hated you, Titan."

"I know. Saw that shit every time you looked at me like you were disappointed in me. Despite being pissed, you didn't rat me out to January. You kept my secret."

"You think I want to break her heart like that?" I demand, shoving my hands into my pockets because I kind of want to hit him, but I promised January that I wouldn't. "I didn't keep your secret for you. I kept it because knowing what you've been up to would have devastated her. She idolizes you, but you're too fucking blind to see it. That girl has worshipped the ground you walk on since she was a baby."

"I know," he whispers. Guilt flows through his expression. I think he actually regrets the shit he's done that would break her heart if she knew. The shit that would have her looking at him like something less than the hero she's always thought he was.

No matter how pissed I am at him, I'd never do that to her. Hell, I'd never do it to him, either. Because as much as he likes to pretend otherwise, we both know he thinks his little sister hung the moon. That's one thing we've always agreed on. I'd never take that away from him or weaponize it by using it against him.

"I'm not going to tell her," I mutter to him. "If that's what you're worried about, I'll keep your secret."

"That's not what I'm worried about. I know you won't tell her. Even if I don't deserve it, you'd never tell her something that would hurt us both." He glances up and sighs. "I fucked up. Like majorly fucked up."

"What happened?" I ask, unable to stop myself. He dug his own grave, and I should let him lie in it, but I won't. Because no matter how far we've drifted apart, no matter how pissed I am at him, he's still like a brother to me. I still love him and I'll still do whatever I can to help him.

"I started dealing to help get January out of here, but then I got hooked."

"You're taking the shit you're dealing?" I take a step toward him.

"No. Hell no, I'm not that goddamn stupid," he says, holding his hands up and shooting me a "what the fuck" glare. "I got hooked on the money it brought in. Mom's working fewer hours. Things around the house are getting fixed. My bike isn't falling apart every time I ride the son of a bitch. It was nice, being able to take care of my family without killing myself working twelve-hour days on the job site."

His mom has been working fewer hours. I just chalked it up to the fact that their bills were less now that Titan's rarely around. Without him home to eat through a grocery store each month, she had to be saving some serious cash. Maybe I should have been paying more attention, though.

"A few weeks ago, Kaleo decided it was time to make a move against the Diablos," he continues, referencing the biggest gang in the area. "I told him it was a bad idea, but he told me I could either do what I was told to do, or our deal was off, and he'd come for you. He's gotten into some hard shit over the last year, man. Real hard shit. I didn't want him bringing that around here, so I did what he told me to do."

"Fuck me," I mutter. Kaleo has hated the Diablos for years but never had the balls to go after them. He knew they'd squash him like a bug if he tried, so that shady motherfucker used Titan to do his dirty work instead.

"They caught me fucking up one of their businesses a few days ago," Titan mumbles. "I told them it was Kaleo's idea, but they didn't give a shit. Told me that I either pay them 50g's in restitution, or I'm the one they're coming after."

"Motherfucker," I swear, fighting not to put my fist through the door. "You told Kaleo?"

Titan nods. "Said it wasn't his problem and that it sounded like I'd better get rich quick if I wanted to keep them from killing me."

Of course he did.

Kaleo will deny having anything to do with Titan until he can't deny it anymore. There's no way he's going to take responsibility when he can pass the buck to Titan. That's what he does. That's exactly why we fought so fucking hard to keep ourselves out of his clutches. We didn't want to end up like any of the other motherfuckers he fucked over.

"I offered them intel on Kaleo if they'd let it ride, but they refused. Said they don't give a shit what he's up to because he's not worth their time. I have until tomorrow to come up with the money, or they're coming after me."

"Jesus Christ, Titan," I curse and shake my head. "Why the fuck didn't you say something sooner?"

"It was my problem," he whispers. "I thought I could find a way out of it by myself." His eyes fill with tears. He puts his fists against them and rubs like he used to do when he was a kid and something made him tear up. Even then, he hated to be vulnerable. He's still just a fucking kid, in way over his head.

Had he just come to me before he went to Kaleo, I could have fixed all of this. We would have found another way to keep Kaleo off our backs. I would have paid for January to go to school.

Jesus. I should have told them both about the money when I found out about it. Maybe then, none of this would have happened.

It's too late for that now, though. All I can do is try to repair the damage I've caused.

"I'll pay them," I tell Titan. "Whatever they want, I'll pay."

"That's not your responsibility," he says. "That's not why I came to you."

"You think I don't know that? You didn't even know I could pay it until fifteen minutes ago."

"I have a plan," he says, ignoring me. "I haven't just been Kaleo's little soldier boy for the last two years. I've been gathering information on him. I know all his dirty secrets. He's pimping out girls. At least one of them is underage. I have proof. I recorded videos and took photos. I even screenshotted a bunch of his texts one day when he left his phone unlocked. It's all in my room."

"Jesus Christ," I whisper, my stomach turning at the thought of that son of a bitch whoring out teenagers. I knew he was a piece of shit, but I didn't think he'd ever stoop that low. I thought he at least had the decency not to pimp girls, but I should have known better. At the rate he uses teenage boys as shields, it shouldn't come as a surprise that he's also found a way to destroy their girlfriends, too.

Every goddamn thing he touches, he destroys.

"I plan on going to the cops tonight and turning over what I have in exchange for their protection."

"And risk going to jail right alongside him?" I ask. "You've been working with him for two years, Titan. You're dealing for him. You know he's pimping out girls. That's human trafficking, man. You honestly believe they're just going to let you go with a clean slate?"

"It's worth a shot," he mutters, but I know not even he believes what he's saying. He's just hoping his Hail Mary pass pays off in the end and things work in his favor. I'm not stupid enough to believe it will, though. Even if his suicidal plan does work and he doesn't go to jail, the Diablos aren't going to stop coming for him just because he's got LAPD protection. They don't operate that way, and we both know it.

"It's suicide," I snap.

"I know, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to die, man," he whispers. The tears he's fought so hard to contain spill down his cheeks. His broad shoulders shake as he cries quietly.

"I'm not letting you die for this shit," I growl and pace toward him, tears burning in the back of my throat too. I've never seen Titan cry, and it fucking kills me. I'll be damned if I let him die for Curtis Kaleo. I clasp the back of his head and bump my forehead to his. "You hear me, you dumb son of a bitch? You aren't dying over this bullshit. I'll pay them off and deal with Kaleo. But you're out of this right now."

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tears still slipping down his cheeks. "I'm so fucking sorry for everything, Cade."

He's never called me Cade before. Hearing him say it now breaks a piece of my heart, even while mending another.

"I am, too." I wish like hell that he'd told me the truth a long time ago. Or that I'd told him the truth about the money. Maybe then we wouldn't be where we are right now, but that shit ends now.

It's time to stop trying to hold it together with duct tape and time to start fixing what we've broken. I'm telling January about the money, and then I'm getting her brother out of this mess. Kaleo will let him go, or we'll go to the cops with whatever evidence Titan has amassed against him.

"I love you," Titan tells me, taking a shaky breath. "I know I haven't said that in a long time, but you're still my brother. I fucking miss you, and I'm sorry I let it get to this point. I just want to get back to how we were before I started feeling sorry for myself."

"We'll get there," I promise him. I don't know how or when, but we'll get back to where we were before all this shit came between us. He's still my family. He always will be. Nothing will ever change that. "Let's just get through January's party, and then we'll deal with all this in the morning."

"Are you going to tell her?" He actually sounds a little afraid of facing his baby sister. Hell, he should be afraid. She'll rip his balls off if she ever finds out what he's been doing.

"Nah," I murmur, deciding there's one secret I'll keep to myself. To save their relationship, I think I have to keep it. Because January will never forgive him for working with Kaleo if she finds out, not when Kaleo's already ruined so many things in her life. "We'll fix this shit, and she'll never have to know about it."

Titan is quiet throughout dinner, but he's more engaged with January than he has been in a long time. Her happiness hangs in the air around her as if there's too much of it for her to contain. Titan notices it, too.

He eats his food with a smile on his face, one I haven't seen in a long time. It gives me hope that maybe we can find our way back to what we had before shit got complicated and the bond that held the three of us together for so long began to fray.

After dinner, Jana brings out a triple chocolate cake and sets it in front of January. She bounces in her seat as the three of us sing a horribly off-key rendition of the birthday song, which has her in a fit of laughter by the end. Truth is, she's the only one of us who can sing worth a damn, but we give it our all anyway, just to see her smile.

"Be right back," Titan mutters and pushes away from the table while January and her mom cut the cake.

They whisper back and forth as they work. I know they're talking about the ring on January's finger. I also know her mom isn't surprised to see it there. Before I ever bought it, I told Jana I was getting it. I also promised I would love her daughter and take care of her for the rest of our lives. She told me that she's known since January and I were little that we would end up together and that there was no one more deserving of her daughter than me.

I'm not sure how Jana's going to feel when she finds out I'm worth millions. I hope she's not too pissed at me for keeping it quiet for so long. Part of me wonders if she already knows, and that's part of the reason she's never really worried about me and January being together, but I'm not sure. It's possible Ma Lucia told her. I never got to ask Ma Lucia who else knew. She died two hours after telling me the money existed.

"You okay?" January asks, stopping beside my chair to brush my hair back from my forehead.

"Perfect," I say, trying to ease the worry in her eyes. She shouldn't be stressing about anything today. It's her day to be spoiled and pampered.

"Are things with you and Titan okay?" she asks.

"We're good," I promise and then pull her down for a kiss before she can ask me anything else. I don't want to lie to her, and if she asks, I'll have to do exactly that. She tastes like chocolate, which makes me hard. I swear, I could kiss this girl for days and still not be satisfied. I lick at her lips, loving how much sweeter she tastes with her favorite flavor all over her.

"Dude, stop dry-humping my sister in front of my mom," Titan says from behind me. He sounds more amused than pissed, though, so I flip him off discreetly and then dip January backward to kiss the shit out of her once more.

She squeals with laughter, clinging to me. Jana's laughing, too, so I figure she's not too messed up about me making out with her daughter in the middle of their kitchen.

Still, I reluctantly pull back and set January on her feet before it gets too far out of hand. With her, I can't ever be too careful. She's so responsive. If I'm not careful, she'll be crawling into my lap and trying to get us both naked, regardless of the fact that her brother and mom are right here.

She stumbles a little, and I reach out to steady her. Her emerald eyes shine, and her cheeks are flushed with color. With her lips all red and swollen from my kisses, she looks like a porcelain doll again, too beautiful to be real.

"Here," Titan says, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from me. He plops her down in a chair and then places a giant box in her lap.

She looks from the box to him, a question in her eyes.

"Figured I owe you for being such a dick to you the last couple of years," he mumbles and then shrugs like it's no big deal. "I'm sorry for hurting you, and I hope you'll forgive me."

Her expression melts, hesitation turning to adoration in the blink of an eye. "Of course I forgive you," she whispers, squeezing his hand. "I love you, Titan. Even when you are a jerk."

"I love you too, baby sister. Now open this shit!" he says and rubs his hands together. He's almost as excited about the gift as she is.

She tears through the pink paper like a little kid at Christmas. It goes flying in all directions.

"Titan!" she squeals, pulling a pair of high-top Chuck Taylor sneakers out of the box. They're UCLA blue and gold, with her name embossed across the side. She hugs them to her chest before diving out of her seat to hug her brother. The box tumbles to the floor, but she doesn't even notice it.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she chants, jumping up and down.

"You're welcome, brat," he says and then drops a kiss to her forehead.

She bounces back to her seat and slips the shoes on her feet to admire them. Once she's satisfied, she picks the box up and pulls out a UCLA hoodie with her name on it, a t-shirt, and a little jewelry box. She opens it to reveal a dog tag with a picture of the two of them embossed on the front. The back is engraved with a message about how his love is her greatest gift and her happiness is his deepest desire.

"I have one, too," he says, pulling a chain out from beneath the collar of his shirt to show her.

It's so sweet that January and Jana both cry. A lump forms in my throat, too.

"I love it, Titan. It's perfect," January whispers through her tears and lets him put it on her. "Thank you."

He winks at her and then steals her piece of cake.

"I'm not even going to yell at you for that," she mutters, sticking her tongue out at him.

Her mom sets a plate in front of her with an even bigger piece of cake on it.

"Should have stuck to your own plate," January teases him when his face falls at the sight of the massive slice he just lost out on.

The mournful look on his face makes the rest of us crack up laughing. He puts away food like a garbage disposal.

Once we've all gorged ourselves on cake and January has opened all of her presents, I ask Jana if I can steal my girl away for a few minutes. She waves us away, announcing that Titan can help her clean up and get all the trash out to the road for pickup.

Titan grumbles about not being a goddamn maid but starts helping his mom.

I slip January's hand into mine and lead her outside. She shivers and cuddles up at my side as we walk to Ma Lucia's house.

"They probably think we're sneaking off to have sex," she whispers and then giggles.

"I have something to show you," I tell her.

"If it's you naked, I'm totally on board." She waggles her brows like a villain.

I chuckle and shake my head at her before leading her up the steps to my door. A black Honda SUV creeps down the street as I fish for the key in my pocket. I glance at the SUV but don't recognize it. Whoever it is, they aren't from around here. Not driving brand-new wheels like that. They're driving so slow I briefly wonder if they're lost.

"It's freezing out here," January complains, drawing my attention back to her. It is so cold out that her breath actually steams in front of her. She shivers, her teeth chattering.

"Come on," I mumble and unlock the door before pulling her inside. I don't spare another thought to the SUV out front, instead focusing on getting her inside before she freezes to death.

She stops right inside the door and peeks around. The house hasn't changed since I first moved here. The furniture is all heavy wood and leather, with glass-topped tables. Little knick-knacks, beloved trinkets Ma Lucia picked up over the years, sit here and there. This is still her house. I haven't changed anything about it.

"You're one of those annoyingly clean people, aren't you?" January teases me, running her hand along a bookcase and then holding it up to show there's not even a hint of dust on it.

"No," I say, even though I kind of am. Ma Lucia always kept the place spotless. No way am I going to mess it up. I miss her like crazy, but I don't want her coming back from the grave just to kick my ass for fucking up her house.

"You totally are," January says and then wraps her arms around me. "You always keep this place freakishly clean, but that's okay. I think it's sweet that you take such good care of her house. Or your house now, I guess." She scrunches up her nose like she's thinking hard about something. "You know, I think you're the only twenty-two-year-old I know who owns a house."

"I own more than that," I mumble.

She frowns at me like she doesn't understand. Of course, she doesn't, though. She has no clue I'm about to drop a bomb on her that will drastically change her life.

"I…" Now that the moment's here, I'm suddenly afraid to tell her. I don't want this to change us, and I'm terrified it will, even if we don't mean for it to happen. But I've kept this secret for long enough. It almost destroyed me and Titan. I don't want it to jeopardize what I have with January. I want to be able to give her anything she needs. Titan, too. I never again want him to feel like he has to make a deal with the devil to ensure January has what she needs in life. And I want her and Jana to know I'll be able to take care of both of them the way they deserve.

"Cade?" January says, looking at me like I'm freaking her out.

I offer her a reassuring smile. "Stay right here. I've gotta get something, and then I'll explain."

"Okay," she agrees with a shrug.

I brush my lips across hers and then hurry down the hall to Ma Lucia's room. Even after all this time, it still smells like her. The room is exactly the way she left it—well, except for the stuff she wanted donated to various homeless shelters. All of her clothes and costume jewelry are gone, but the rest of the room is still hers. Even though she left me the house in her will, changing it doesn't feel right.

I make my way over to her desk, where all the paperwork for my trust fund is located. I was worried January would stumble across it if I left it in my room. Sifting through the stack of documents, I finally find what I'm searching for and head back toward the living room, praying like hell she doesn't kick my ass for keeping this from her for so long.

Halfway down the hall, a loud pop, like a car backfiring, sounds outside. And then four more pops go off, one right after another. Someone screams outside and I realize it's not a car backfiring.

It's gunshots.

Someone's shooting up the block.

"January!" I roar and barrel down the hall toward her. She's still standing where I left her, looking at the door like she doesn't understand what's happening. I grab her around the waist and throw her to the floor before covering her with my body.

The front window explodes a second later, glass showering down on us. Shots continue to ring out all around us. There are so many, it sounds like a war erupted right outside the front door. With every shot, dread claws its way through me, burning like acid.

January screams as another window shatters in a spray of glass.

And then everything falls silent, the chaos ending as abruptly as it started.

I lay on top of her for a second, not moving, but no more shots come. An engine roars outside.

"Stay here," I yell in her ear and then jump to my feet. Glass falls off me in a flood, crashing to the floor all around her. None of it hits her, thank God.

"Cade!" she cries when I fling the front door open.

"Stay here," I order her one more time and then run outside. "Please, please, please," I chant over and over as I pound down the front steps. The same SUV from earlier disappears at the end of the block, taking the turn hard.

I turn toward January's house to go check on Titan and Jana.

My entire world crashes to my feet.

Titan and Jana are on the sidewalk, pink wrapping paper and food scraps scattered all around them. They're so still it's almost like they're sleeping. Except they aren't.

"No!" I scream, but I already know the word isn't going to change anything.

Blood pools around them, turning the cement red.

I stumble toward them on legs that don't want to work. They give out as I get to Titan's side. He's been hit so many times he looks like a pin cushion. Only those aren't pinholes all over his shirt. They're bullet holes.

He's still breathing, but barely.

Jana isn't. I don't think she'll ever breathe again. Not with…not with…

I turn to the side and vomit. I can't help it. She's exactly what January will look like in twenty years…and she's dead. The entire right side of her face is gone. She still has a garbage bag clutched in her hand.

People run toward me, shouting my name, but I can't think straight. I try to help Titan, try to stop the bleeding, but I don't even know where to start. How do you make someone stop bleeding when you only have two hands but they have fifteen or sixteen bullet wounds? I don't know.

I try, but it's no use. He takes a rattling breath and then stops. His chest doesn't move again.

Quan and Boots drop to the ground beside me. They're both yelling, but I can't hear them. All I hear is my girl screaming as she realizes her entire world just ended.

"No!" she screams at the top of her lungs. "No! No! No!"

I push myself to my feet and stumble toward her, trying to get to her before she gets to Titan and her mom. She's running full out, practically flying through the grass toward them, but I can't let her see… I can't let her see .

"Let me go!" she screams when I wrap my arms around her. She fights me, kicking and scratching. Her little fists flail against me. Tears flow down her face in an endless flood. Every single one eviscerates me. She screams at me, pleading with me to let her go, to save her mom and brother, to help them…but I can't.

I can't.

I fucking can't.

They're beyond help now.

Thirty-two bullets.

That's how many it took to destroy my world. I know because I counted.

Seventeen million.

That's how much money it took to shatter hers. I know because I've still got the fucking bank statement in my hand.

Had I just said something about the money earlier, I could have saved Jana and Titan. Had I refused to keep his secret, I could have stopped this from ever happening. Had I stopped to think about that fucking SUV creeping down the street, I could have warned him.

I could have made a thousand different decisions that wouldn't have ended here—with January's entire world bleeding to death on a sidewalk while wrapping paper still flutters through the air like confetti.

Her entire family is gone, and it's my goddamn fault.

Christ, it's my fault.

She falls to the ground, and for the first time in my life, I don't have the strength to pick her up.