8. At A Disadvantage

8

AT A DISADVANTAGE

D ane didn’t know where the words came from that asked Sloane to grab dinner with him and wasn’t sure if he was more surprised he asked or that she said yes.

Now he had a few minutes to get himself mentally ready for the first date he’d asked someone on since Mel.

Or maybe it wasn’t a date and just grabbing food.

He’d think of it that way instead so he didn’t put a ton of pressure on his shoulders.

He took his card out, paid for his massage, added the tip on it since she was standing right there and would see it anyway, then booked his next massage a month from now.

Then he took his seat in the waiting room until she was done.

“I’m all set,” she said ten minutes later. It was ten minutes before eight and he’d seen a client leave five minutes ago and who he assumed was a staff after the client.

The two of them walked to the cafe a few doors over, leaving their cars in the parking lot.

Not surprising when they walked in, it wasn’t that busy. More than half the tables were empty.

“Is it too late to get some dinner?”

“No,” the hostess said. “Take your pick of any empty table.”

“Go ahead,” he said.

“Hi, Sloane,” a server said when she walked by with some food in her hands. At least it wasn’t like everyone was going to be heading out.

“Nicole, good to see you.”

“I didn’t think you’d know people here,” he said.

“We get takeout a lot from here,” she said. “Not a big deal.”

That was good. He didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable about that.

They took a seat and Nicole rushed over. “What can I get you both to drink?”

“I’ll take water with lemon, please,” Sloane said.

“Iced tea,” he said. “Unsweetened.”

He saw the server’s face and then laughed when she walked away.

“You know that is almost criminal to order that in the South. Are you not from the South?”

“Born and raised here. Or I think born here but raised here at least. But I went to college up north for my undergraduate and got into the habit of drinking it that way. It’s much better.”

“I’m sure,” she said. “I’m not much of a sweet person but will admit I’ve never had unsweetened iced tea, but I do drink it hot like that.”

“Not much different other than the temperature,” he said. “Are you not a coffee drinker?”

“I’ll get one of those crazy fattening lattes once in a while, but hot tea when it’s cold and mainly water other times.”

“It’s better for you. I’m trying to get my kids to see that, but they want the sweet stuff.”

One of those disagreements he and Mel had. She didn’t think it was a big deal and he did. They knew there wasn’t soda in his house or his mother’s, but if he took the kids out to eat, they were allowed to order one. His compromise was so that they didn’t think it wasn’t allowed as opposed to him just not buying it.

“I only drank water or tea as a child. Milk too, but sodas were few and far between.”

“There wasn’t much soda in my house as a kid. Not sports drinks either, though I probably drank more of them than soda in my adolescent and college years.”

“I bet you were the coffee and energy drink guy during your residency,” she said. “You wouldn’t have wanted to worry about falling asleep or being sleepy.”

“You’ve got me there. I didn’t want to do it and had more coffee than energy drinks, but some nights you did what you could to stay awake. Tell me about yourself. You know I’ve got two kids and you’ve met Tiffani. You know I’m divorced, my age and I’m a pediatrician. I feel as if I’m at a disadvantage.”

It might have been years since he’d been on a date, but he could still strike up a conversation. Or a basic one.

“I didn’t know you were divorced,” she said.

Their drinks were set on the table. “Do you want to hear the specials?” Nicole asked.

“Sure,” Sloane said.

While they were being read off, he looked at the menu that had been placed down when their drinks were ordered.

Sloane got a grilled chicken sandwich with potato salad and he went with the pulled pork special. He’d pay the price for eating something that heavy this late, but he had a bunch of work to do tonight anyway, so it’s not like he’d be sleeping any time soon.

“I’ve mentioned my ex before,” he said. “And that I only get my kids a few days a week.”

“That’s true,” she said. “But it didn’t mean you’ve been married or divorced. There are a lot of people who have children and never marry.”

“Not me,” he said. “Not that there is anything against it. My sister had her daughter before she was married.”

“I know,” she said. “I know you said you don’t judge but wasn’t sure of your situation.”

“No judgment at all.”

“You said you thought you were born here. What does that mean?” she asked.

He saw she was still evading his questions so he’d have to ask direct ones.

“I was adopted when I was three months old. My parents have been very open about that. Chloe too. My parents know the names of my adoptive parents, but I’ve never asked. I didn’t care so much. I know they were young and wanted to try to raise me but then split and gave me up.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “But it sounds as if you’ve had a great life with your adoptive parents. And whether they are biological or not means nothing to me and hopefully not much to you either.”

“You have no idea what it’s like to hear that from someone.”

“Can I guess your ex maybe didn’t feel the same way?” she asked.

“I’ll answer that if you answer some questions about yourself. I think you’re used to asking and listening rather than telling your own side.”

She let out a little laugh. “Guilty.”

“Where are you from?”

“Tennessee,” she said.

“Do you still have family there?”

He wouldn’t ask about parents or siblings. Maybe she didn’t have parents either and he’d learned that in life. To never assume.

“Depends on your definition of that.”

“Okay.”

He wasn’t sure where to go from there.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just me, my younger sister, Sabrina, and my mother. I haven’t spoken to either of them in years. That is why I’m not sure how to answer. I don’t believe they are still there. Last I knew, my sister was living in Colorado and didn’t want to associate with anyone from her past.”

None of that made sense, but he knew enough to not ask that either. If she wanted to tell him, she would.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Were you close?”

“At one point,” she said. “But not in years.”

He remembered she’d said she’d been home-schooled. Seemed her life was a bit of a mystery.

“So then it’s safe to assume your sister doesn’t talk to your mother either?” he asked.

“No. I don’t have any beef with Sabrina. She doesn’t have one with me. It’s just...she needed to move on and I respected that. She knows where I am if she wants to contact me. Maybe someday when she is ready she’ll do that.”

He nodded. “Sometimes it’s better to give someone the space even if it hurts you in the end. ”

“Is that what happened with you and your ex? Mel, right?”

“Yes. And she got a lot of space and hated it. That was our problem. She didn’t like the hours of my job or the time I put into it. We had children while I was in my residency. I did what I could. Many felt it was a lot, all things considered. But my family and sister and her parents were there all the time helping her.”

“Sounds like she got more help than if you had a nine-to-five job,” she said.

“Many thought that too.”

“Did you?” she asked. “Sorry, that is intrusive.”

“It’s fine. I wanted her to be happy. I felt...guilty.”

“She had to know what she was getting into marrying a doctor.”

“She did. She said it was fine. We got through Tiffani and things were good, then she said she wanted another child. I wasn’t ready at that moment, but it wasn’t my decision.”

“Of course it was your decision,” she said. “A joint one. Unless it was an accident.”

“It wasn’t,” he said. He didn’t want to say as much as he was, but maybe if this all came out now it’d be easier than worrying that someone felt as if they were deceived in the end.

Mel had used that word to him before and it burned hotter than the incinerator in the morgue.

“Then I’m sorry, but my guess is you wouldn’t change a thing because of your kids.”

“Exactly,” he said. “And since I came this far I might as well say the rest. I don’t want there to be any surprises or anything. There are no secrets. There was no cheating or anything like that. Six months after I started working at Duke I thought we were finally in the clear and could build the life she always wanted.”

“Was it the life you wanted? You said what she, not we.”

He paused and then said, “We talked about it.”

She only nodded her head. There were times Sloane asked or said things that made him think things he should have years ago.

“Six months in and she said it wasn’t working. It wasn’t what she envisioned. I knew she wasn’t happy. I was trying to see what I could do to help. The kids were older and in daycare all day. Mel worked.”

“You were stunned,” she said. “I can see it in your eyes. You felt betrayed and, as you said, guilty on top of it.”

“Yes to all of that. But you can’t make someone feel something they don’t. You can’t make them believe something they refuse to. I let her go because there was no way to keep her. I couldn’t and wouldn’t give up the career that I just started.”

“And you shouldn’t have had to,” she said.

“I felt that way.”

He also had the guilt, wondering if he loved Mel enough to give it up and the answer was he just couldn’t do it. It’d taken him a long time to come to terms with the fact that they just weren’t meant and he’d hold onto the good times and have to be content with that.

“And now you co-parent,” she said. “Which is commendable because a lot of people can’t do that successfully, but it feels as if you do.”

“I think we do. We get along. No reason not to. She’s happy and needs to be for the kids to see that.”

“What about your happiness?” she asked .

“That’s been asked of me a lot lately,” he said. “I don’t think I’m unhappy. I can say my body is really happy right now though.”

She laughed and patted his hand. “That’s a good start then.”