Chapter Thirty-Six

CHAPTER

THIRTY-SIX

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A SQUEEZE ON MY ARM TRIES TO WAKE ME, BUT I SWAT IT away, trying to snuggle into the intoxicating warmth that makes me dream of forests, rivers, and moonlight cloaking a lush garden. But a chuckle is what has my eyes popping open, because Cayden is hovering above me with a finger pressed to the cocky grin on his lips.

I don't have time to be embarrassed because that's when I hear it:

Crack.

Crack, crack, crack.

Cayden helps me up and unsheathes his sword while I pull two knives from my holsters, concealing ourselves in the back of the cave. There's no way we can leave without being spotted.

"I'll throw a knife if they come to the opening," I say.

He nods. "It doesn't sound like there's more than four."

A bird whistle chirps through the air, the pitch slowly getting higher as it goes on. Cayden stills, becoming even more alert. He pushes off the wall when the whistle is repeated.

"Ryder," he growls, stalking to the entrance of the cave, and raises his voice loud enough for the approaching party to hear. "Elowen, we're so lucky to have been blessed with not one, but three daft children."

I rush beside him, peering down the cliffside at three all-too-familiar figures cloaked by the sun's golden rays. I mutter a string of curses, knowing I should've taken more precaution against Finnian disobeying orders. Cayden must be thinking the same about Ryder and Saskia. Hells, we would've followed them if the roles were reversed, but that doesn't mean I support their damn decision.

The trio trade anxious glances and fumble their words when they finish their climb into the cave, trying to convince us with logic that's been reduced to flailing limbs and half-thought-out sentences. Ryder waves his arms so much he looks like a rogue vextree trying to take flight.

Cayden speaks above them. "I'll separate you like prisoners if you can't manage a single decipherable sentence."

Saskia steps forward, squaring her shoulders. "We had every intention of remaining in Vareveth as discussed, but I couldn't stop myself from imagining the dangers of this mission. All the possible scenarios the pair of you could get caught in."

"I was already arming myself by the time Sas voiced her concerns," Ryder says.

"And you?" I ask Finnian, whose eyes have remained fixated on me this whole time.

He takes a step forward. "Reading your letter."

I let out a disbelieving laugh, barren of humor. "I named you my heir should I die in the very place you're standing in!"

"You would've followed me" is all he replies.

"And you would've followed us," Ryder says, staring Cayden down. "You used to trail me on missions you trained me for."

"You also used to guard me whenever I left our living quarters," Saskia adds.

"You were a rich prick who hopped around like a frog that decided to be an assassin," Cayden says to Ryder. "And you had no interest in carrying a blade," he says to Saskia.

"Unnecessary," Ryder groans. "Take as many jabs as you want, but you know damn well you'd never allow me to walk into enemy territory without you. You stood with me when odds were stacked against us, and we fought our way out."

Cayden rakes his hands through his hair, knowing he doesn't have an argument for that. Anything he replies would be hypocritical or a lie.

"You can't expect me to love you for half my life and be happy to see you here," I say to Finnian.

He steps forward again, close enough to squeeze my shoulders. "And you can't expect me to watch you leave."

None of them display an ounce of regret for crossing the border, which they must have managed while the soldiers continued taking care of the explosion. We practically left a trail for them to follow like stags running from a hunting party. I hate that my anger fades the more I listen, the more I note the desperation on their faces and the relief that they found us. I don't think love is always about letting someone walk away; sometimes it's about chasing after them to the ends of the earth, even if the journey is treacherous.

A strange feeling settles in my chest, a sense of belonging. Nestled in a damp cave in the one kingdom where everyone wants me dead, I've never felt safer. I'd be honored to fight beside everyone in this cave, but I can't pick their battles for them. We're a group created by aligned goals, but I never realized how important who I achieved those goals with became to me.

I sigh, closing my eyes. "Damn it."

"Don't you dare give in," Cayden mutters. "You glared at me for five days after I kicked a dog in your dream. "

"It was a cute dog." I nudge him in the side, smiling while he stares down at me with an incredulous look.

He throws his head back and groans. "I'm assuming everyone thinks you've tagged along on our tour of Vareveth?"

"Yes," Saskia answers.

"Right, then." Cayden pinches the bridge of his nose. "No more talking about feelings, it's giving me a headache, and I'm too tired for this shit. Ryder, you better have brought enough food because you ate all mine last mission."

Finnian and Saskia throw their arms around me while Cayden and Ryder delve into bickering. It's darker in the cave than it should be, and I immediately detach myself and whip toward Cayden. "You never woke me up!"

He shrugs. "You reveal a lot of things in your sleep. It was entertaining."

"I don't talk in my sleep."

"Well . . ." Finnian trails off when I glare at him.

"You said my name quite a few times," Cayden adds.

I cross my arms. "You are the most vexing person I've ever met. I must've been dreaming of the day I'll never see you again."

"And yet I'm still on your mind, love."

Darkness soon greets the forest like a lover returning home after a long day as I keep watch. Its embrace is gentle yet consuming, with only tiny forest creatures disturbing the peace. Everyone sleeps peacefully aside from Cayden, who wakes up every ten minutes. He's so on edge, it's like his mind rebels against the vulnerability that sleep bares him to.

Saskia is the first to sit up, and the others soon follow. Not gracefully, might I add. Ryder gets tangled in his cloak when Finnian groans, thinking a bear infiltrated the cave. Cayden made us laugh until our stomachs hurt while he imitated Ryder, who pouted while eating some bread, telling us we're going to hell.

Moonlight has drawn the forest a blue bath, granting us just enough light to navigate. We continue staying off main roads while we can, taking care to avoid making too much noise. Eventually, the forest becomes a blur. I don't think of anything other than keeping my footing. Dampness seeps into the air around us as we near the Emer River. It's the longest river on the continent—stretching from the Seren Mountains to the Dolent Sea. Legend says that the Goddess of Souls lived in the Etril Forest before the gods left us and sent mortals to cry their tears of sorrow into the Emer.

Every human is broken somehow, whether for love or life, because we feel everything. We're not like the gods. No matter how much we try to detach ourselves from emotions, they still grip us in their clutches. It's why the river is so vast; every soul has something to mourn.

The moon glides away, and the stars disappear as the sun chisels cracks in the darkness. The Emer becomes louder; what was a faint hum is now a roaring current. I'm thankful when Cayden holds his hand up, and I press my hands into a trunk, bowing my head to catch my breath.

"A group of soldiers are up ahead. Their horses' saddles bear the Atarah trident and crown sigil," he whispers. "Seven are sleeping and one is on watch."

"Thank the gods," I huff, earning strange looks from Finnian, Saskia, and Ryder. "I'm not running the entirety of our journey."

"You're going to kill sleeping men because you want their horses?" Finnian asks slowly.

"It's not like they're going to need them," Cayden says.

"The two of you . . ." Ryder trails off. "What's the plan?"

Finnian nocks an arrow in his bow. "I'll take out the one on watch before we reveal our position."

"Stay back so you can pick off any if they try to ride away," Cayden says, unsheathing a sword and an axe.

We peer through the bushes as Finnian silently creeps through the woods for a higher vantage point and a better shot at the watchman. The arrow flies, piercing the man through the neck, but the pots he falls into clatter loud enough to startle the sleeping party.

"Didn't mean for that to happen!" Finnian shouts, and I run into battle laughing.

Cayden throws his axe, the force of it throwing a soldier backward when it sinks into his skull, and I take out another with a knife before they reach us. Saskia stays behind to monitor the battle with Finnian, finding openings to shoot soldiers down without endangering us.

"Down, Ryder!" I shout, throwing my knife at someone approaching his back while Finnian takes out the soldier running toward a horse.

The three of us flow like a breeze, making quick work of the small skirmish as if we've fought together for years. We aid each other when we can and trust each other when we can't. My hands are speckled with blood by the time I take on my last soldier, spinning around his swing and stabbing him in the back of his neck. He falls to the ground, gurgling on his blood, and soon joins his fellow patrol in the afterlife.

I sheathe my sword as Finnian and Saskia join us, sending leaves and rocks tumbling down the hill. Cayden plants his boot on the soldier's chest and pulls the axe from his head, and I begin collecting my knives.

"I found something!" Saskia exclaims, holding up a letter she found while picking through pockets. "We can use this to get across the Emer."

"How so?" Finnian asks. "We don't resemble this patrol."

"It's a general order to get back to Zinambra for a masquerade ball. It's not addressed to anyone, which means it was most likely given to several soldiers on the border."

There's a small crack in the woods behind us, and we fall silent while reaching for weapons again. But it's nothing. Probably a small animal searching for food.

"We'll speak more when we get into the city. Let's just focus on getting across the Emer," I say.

The horses and bridge access will cut our travel time immensely. None of the soldiers are in Imirath armor; they're all wearing casual leathers and tunics, much like us. Ryder takes whatever money he finds off them and we climb onto the horses, taking the remaining three with us so we can plant them somewhere easy to find and wash the blood off us. Leaving them would haunt me more than murdering sleeping men.

We ride the short distance to the crossing, and my anxiety grows each second. The reins become slippery with sweat as the forest clears, and a curved stone bridge looms over the river dotted with moss-covered rocks that create miniature waterfalls. I might admire it if we weren't getting in line to converse with two Imirath soldiers on guard, or if it weren't for the twenty littered throughout the crossing filtering through carriages and carts. Cayden takes out a black mask and hooks it over his ears.

The line splits when we're halfway across and I ride beside Cayden, who hands the letter to the soldier. He quickly reads it over, eyes flicking between the pair of us but lingering on me. "You're coming from the border?"

"Yes," Cayden answers. I force myself to keep my smile pleasant, unbothered, calm.

"What is the name of the general who gave you this letter?"

"General Davian," Cayden answers again, saving me from babbling like a fool for information I don't know.

The soldier's irritated glare falls on Cayden. "Who are you to speak for this woman?"

"Her husband," he answers without hesitation. My hands tighten and butterflies erupt in my stomach from that one damn word, but I blame it on the situation.

"I see." His suspicion continues to grow. "Remove your mask."

"Sir, please. Is that truly necessary?" I ask, faintly hearing Ryder reach for his sword behind me.

"We have strict orders from the king." Time slows as Cayden reaches for his mask. If Robick knew of his scar, surely others will too.

"He's sick! Riddled with fever." I sharply sniffle. "I'm not a soldier, I'm a healer. I followed my husband to the border to be close to him, but his sickness has gone beyond my capabilities." I summon tears and a wavering tone. "We're to see a healer in Zinambra while the rest of our party attends the festivities. Please, sir, I don't want the gods to take him from me so soon."

"You're covered in knives."

"Merely a precaution to ward off thieves on the road." I subtly kick Cayden's shin, and he leans to the side, groaning before turning it into a coughing fit that has the soldier stepping back.

A fraction of sympathy mingles with self-preservation. "The mask stays on for the rest of your journey. I wish you the best of luck."

He lets us pass, and I continue my tears while Cayden chokes, only stopping when we're a decent distance away. I glance at him from the corner of my eye as he slips his mask off and dive into a fit of laughter, in which everyone soon follows.

"You little snake," Finnian says, riding up next to me.

"Very moving performance," Ryder adds. "Nearly brought me to tears, too."