6. Dirge

SIX

Dirge

W aiting was torture and against every demand raging inside me. But after a few minutes of calm, I heard footsteps in the hallway. Two sets, maybe three. The urge to fling myself back at the door—or better, position myself just inside it, so I could force my way out when it opened—was overwhelming, but I leaned on my humanity to keep my muscles locked in place. This room was monitored, and if I moved, they wouldn't come in.

That certainty was the only thing that saved me when the door opened, and a dominant alpha strode through, the scent of her wafting in with him.

I wanted to rip his throat out.

But this was probably a test, a fact I remembered well from my years as an enforcer. Unstable wolves were dangerous, and if I couldn't control myself, they wouldn't let me out. So, I clamped my jaws shut and kept staring at the door, ignoring him as he walked to the far corner of my cell. I recognized the scent of the alpha; the name Kane floated up through my memories like a leaf on a still pond.

He was a friend of my brother's, from back when he was still a young sapling I could overpower with one hand tied behind my back. But now… a dominance like no other rode him. He'd matured, and his power had multiplied a hundredfold since I'd last seen him.

But what did he have to do with my mate?

I didn't have a way to ask, but the thought left me quickly enough when the door swung inward a second time. This time, her scent was fresh and strong, a soothing balm to my overwrought senses as she pushed through the door.

Her emotions were running high—nearly as high as mine—when she crossed the distance between us and sank to her haunches in front of me. A tiny part of me was pleased that even with me, she didn't settle to her knees. My mate was too smart and careful to limit her escape options like that. She stayed alert.

I drank in the sight of her the way a dying man swilled whiskey, as I hung on to my control for dear life. She was beautiful, of course. There was no universe in which she could be unbeautiful to me. I believed in the old ways, which said she held the other half of my soul and I hers. But I could see the ragged edges of her, the telltale signs of a woman pushed to the brink. There were dark smudges beneath her gray eyes; her riot of dark curls was uneven, pulled back into a haphazard knot at the nape of her neck. And she still favored her right side, where she'd been shot.

If it had been a normal bullet, she would have healed within hours, so long as nothing vital was hit. A day, if a major organ needed repairs. But several days later… That was the wolfsbane. And being in this silver-laden death trap wouldn't help her any.

When she finally spoke, even her voice was worn thin around the edges, and for the first time in a long time, the man and wolf agreed, she needed our protection, our care .

"Dirge? Is that your name?" she asked, and paused for an answer.

I ducked my nose down, then back up, the closest I could get to communication at the moment.

She sucked in a breath, her gaze darting across the room to Kane. A low growl rumbled out of my chest against my will. I did not want to share her attention with another male. Not ever, but especially not now, when our bond was so new, and I was a prisoner.

"It's okay, it's okay," she murmured, her hand rising toward me tentatively before she seemed to catch herself and stopped. "Can I touch you, Dirge?"

"No, Shay. Don't push the boundaries. We don't know how far gone he is, and he could hurt you accidentally. Explain to him what needs to happen, but keep your distance."

There it was, that growl again. It was louder this time because I was angry at the other alpha's interference. There was nothing I wanted more than for her to touch me, brush her hands over my fur.

"Right, sorry." She met my gaze again, a soft smile lifting one side of her mouth. "No touching yet."

I liked the sound of yet .

"Dirge, we need you to shift back. Pack law states that you can't come out of this cell until there's no chance that you'll hurt any member of the pack, and until the man is back in control, we can't guarantee that. I know it's hard, but I'm here, and I'll do anything I can to help you. Do you understand?"

I ducked my muzzle again, even as frustration grew within me like a poison tide.

Shifting back was not an option. I can't . I sent the mental words with every bit of oomph I possessed, but she just continued staring at me, her hopeful expression unchanged.

At some point, we'd develop a mental bond. But my memories of when and how the mate bond progressed were hazy, clouded by so many years of distance. Maybe I needed to keep trying.

I cannot shift back. Ever.

Nothing.

"Are you trying to shift?" she asked hopefully, quickly looking across at Kane again.

I shook my head, and her smile fell. "Dirge, I really want to get you out of this cell. It's no place for a wolf to be. But they will not let you out until you're back in human form. Can you try? For me? I… I hope you've felt the connection between us." Her voice quavered, the uncertainty there an arrow straight to my heart. She was my huntress, and I her willing prey.

I took a cautious step forward and, when she didn't move, another. The third step put me in range to lean my head against her chest.

She gasped, but clung to my neck, steadying herself against the weight of my much larger wolf resting against her small, fragile human frame. Her fingers curled into my pelt, the sensation better than anything I'd felt in the whole of my long, lonely life.

It was so little, and yet everything at the same time.

"It's okay. We can try together. I'm having trouble reaching my wolf right now, since the wolfsbane. But I've been where you are before. Not for as long, of course, but I've lived as a wolf too. And the longer you're in fur, the harder it is to shift back. But I know you can do it."

She whispered softly against the top of my head, while her fingers stroked along the ruff of my neck. She didn't shy away from me now that we were touching, and for a little while, everything else melted away. The cell, the silver, the other alpha. There was nothing but my mate and her sweet embrace. I found myself wanting to give in, to give her everything she asked me for. A shift was nothing. A matter of moments, and then I could take her into my arms and kiss her so well, she'd never question if I felt our connection as mates again.

Except… I couldn't do that. Not now, not ever.

The truth yanked me from our happy bubble, sorrow slicing through the happiness with ease.

I might have forgotten the steps of a mate bond or what it was like to walk on two legs. But there was one thing burned into my memory like a brand, so strongly imprinted that I could never forget. The thing that meant I could never take human form again, no matter how sweetly she begged.

Because what I knew, down to the marrow of my bones, was that the day I shed my fur was the day my mate died in my arms.