37. Dirge

THIRTY-SEVEN

Dirge

" D irge!" Reed caught my arm before we walked back into the cave. Shay paused, standing between her two friends, clearly holding back a question.

"I'll be there shortly," I told her with a soft smile. She nodded, and then headed inside. Gael and Kane would watch over them.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute, see how you're doing. Today… was a lot."

I laughed, dragging my hands through my hair as I tried to decide what to tell him. He was my brother, my twin. But I'd stepped out of time when I went feral. He hadn't. It was hard to peel away that distance in our relationship and open up to him.

"It was a lot. I'm a little worried, if I'm honest."

Reed's brows drew down. "About the half-fae thing? That's a wild card, for sure, but with more power, she'll be safer?—"

I waved a hand, cutting him off. "No, that part doesn't bother me. Hell, anything that makes her stronger is something I'm glad of. It's the Fetya."

Reed laughed incredulously. "You're kidding, right? Dude, the prophecy was fulfilled exactly as you saw." He grabbed my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "She died in your arms. She's back, probably immortal. What could possibly be worrying you now?"

"Exactly that. The Fetya might feel cheated of their price because she can't die."

He grew still, studying my face. "Did the vision just cut off after the light?"

I nodded. There was more, though, I realized as I finally let myself delve into the depths of my worry. What if they took it out on someone else now that Shay was unavailable? "Brielle has untrained powers of fertility. What if Shay and I bonded, she got pregnant, and then the Fetya took our child as payment?" The words were acid on my tongue, and Reed blanched at the possibility.

"Surely you don't think… That's a big if, brother. Have you told Shay?"

"No. How can I? It's bad enough she almost died because of my stupidity. If I had just been patient, the gathering would have happened, and I'd have met her the same way Kane did Brielle. But the darkness was already creeping in, and… I didn't wait. And now I've not only put her through physical pain, but what do you think will happen when she hears that we're still at risk? What then?"

Reed shook his head with that same stubborn expression he always got as a toddler when I'd take something dangerous away from him. "No, Dirge. You're speculating. The vision ended. The Fetya didn't predict what would happen after she died. And even if there is still a price to be paid—you can't keep that from your mate."

"I can bear that burden. She doesn't need it. She's been through enough."

He snorted. "You know, I always thought you were the smart one, but I guess I was wrong. "

I cuffed him on the back of the head, and he shoved my hand off good-naturedly.

"No, I'm serious. You're dumber than I thought. Really, brother. How do you think it's going to go when she realizes you're keeping something from her? Or worse, she doesn't realize and eventually goes into heat? You're going to not serve your mate? Let her turn to another?"

I snarled, the vision he painted making me see red. "She will never have another."

"Uh-huh. Well, if you expect her to ride out a heat solo , you sure as fuck better fess up that you're scared to get her pregnant. Shit, she might not even need a heat, between being half-fae and Brielle's fertility mojo. We have no frame of reference for how either of those things would impact her or any other she-wolf in our pack. The records were pretty much all destroyed after the Omega War. You going to just never have sex again? Even after the bear priestess just told you that your bond is fractured, and you could both be hurt by not completing it? How does that work out?"

The red haze over my vision made me want to shift and tear my brother a new one, but instead, I turned and punched the trunk of the nearest tree. Somewhere after the fourth punch, Reed dropped a hand on my shoulder and spun me away from the splintered bark.

"Knock it off, and stop being an asshat. The solution is simple. Talk to her. Tell her what you're worried about. You're not stuck in wolf form anymore. You can talk to her ."

It couldn't be that simple. All telling her would do was scare her. Upset her. Make her pull away from me again, and I couldn't bear that.

But was he right? Was I asking for trouble if I didn't tell her?

I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't.

The question was, did I trust her not to run if I shared the awful reality with her?