24. Shay

TWENTY-FOUR

Shay

W e lay there quietly in each other's arms, soaking in the comfort of a mate, of another's presence. I had so many questions and so little time he could actually answer them.

"What if it's not what you thought? Maybe… maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's five hundred years from now." I pushed up off his chest, looking down at him hopefully. "We could have a hundred lifetimes together before that happens."

He shook his head, adamant. "They were very clear, Shay. The first time. The first time I touch you, it's your death knell."

Frustration rose inside me, bound by iron chains of helplessness. We were cursed.

"No, sweet Shay, not you. You could never be cursed."

I hadn't meant to say that out loud, but he was brushing my hair back and looking at me with all the devotion I never knew I could have. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, desperate to fall.

It was torture. Pure torture to be this close to the one my soul was meant to love, only to be cruelly told that this was all we could have .

"You are light in the darkness, sweet honey in a barren land. You are everything . I only wish I could give you the full life you deserve. See this belly swell with my pup," he said, trailing his hands over my abdomen.

Flutters filled me at the contact, even though the picture he painted was apparently never going to happen. I wanted to live in a world where it could.

Not because I wanted babies. I actually might not want babies. Ever. But I wanted a life with my mate. I wanted to love and be loved, to be held in his arms as the sun came up on a thousand mornings. To make love in the middle of the night while the rain fell outside.

And it wasn't fair, it wasn't even remotely fair that this was it. This was all we would get.

A tear fell, and then another. It didn't matter what he said, if this was the life I was doomed to, I must have been cursed.

I crashed my mouth against his then, the salt of my own tears mingling with the taste of his lips as they finally broke free. His hands tightened on my waist, pulling me harder against his thickly muscled chest. The action ground my clit against his washboard abs, sending sparks of pleasure through me.

A low moan escaped my throat as I pulled back from the kiss, arching against his hold. He began to rumble then. The sound was low, but the effect was instant. Vibrations rippled through his chest, sending me from the starting line to the edge in a matter of seconds.

"Shay—" My name was a harsh promise, a demand.

I rocked in his grasp, seeking pressure, friction?—

He dragged me down until I was riding the ridge of his dick, and I cried out at the desperate need it ignited. He was hot and hard and every single thing I needed.

I flung my shirt off, not caring where it landed. He lifted his hips, shucking off his own thin black pants as I hastily leaned forward, letting him drag mine down right after them. There was no hesitation, no sweet nothings whispered, only hot need as he steered me back on top of him.

"Are you ready?" Dirge's question was guttural, and I answered him with all the pent-up wildness inside me by slamming myself down, taking him to the hilt in one motion.

The burn and stretch of him had me howling, head tossed back as he began to move. His knees were up, supporting my back, so his hands were free to wander. He cupped my breasts with unexpected tenderness, and some part of me rejected it. I didn't want tender. I wanted fury, passion.

I lifted up and slammed down again, ignoring the gentle rocking he was building. He grunted, but didn't pick up the pace. He was still rumbling, that low soothing sound tearing at my control. I ground down onto him, taking the friction I needed to climb the mountain of bliss.

He didn't stop me, his hold remaining gentle as he let me drive us forward at a breakneck speed. I kept working him, up and down, grinding with a twist of my hips at the end until the orgasm took me. His name was a gasp on my lips as stars burst behind my eyes.

"That's it, beauty. That's it, easy now," he whispered, holding my gaze as my body turned boneless atop him.

All the fight went out of me, and he could clearly sense it, because between one heartbeat and the next, I was cradled beneath him. I didn't know how he flipped us without slipping out of me, but he was still there, shallowly thrusting in and out.

The head of his cock rubbed that spot, the one I didn't know lit me up before Dirge. But now my eyes were wild, searching his face as if he knew why my body was a live wire under such a small touch. As if he could anchor me in the storm of pleasure.

I gripped his shoulders, fingertips digging in as he continued teasing, still not giving me his all .

"Dirge, it's, it's?—"

"Let go. Just let it all go," he murmured. His smile returned, that cocky grin that I loved. I pulled him down with greedy hands, sucking and biting at his bottom lip as he continued his shallow thrusts.

The second orgasm took me by surprise, and I screamed against his lips as it shuddered through me.

He moaned, eyes closing as I squeezed him in my bliss. His pupils blown wide, he finally sank in deep, hands lifting my hips to hold me flush against him.

"I love you," he said, his eyes open now and glowing green as they bore into mine. "I know you don't know me well enough to say it back, and that's okay." His words faltered as his pace quickened, chasing his own release as he drove me higher so soon after the last wave of pleasure.

"I know it's too soon, and I know I can't be everything you need." His voice cracked, head bowing under the strain of speaking as he fought his own peak. "But I will give you everything I have. Whatever I am, no matter how broken, it's yours."

Tears spilled down my cheeks. All the emotions I tried to shove aside with rough sex poured through me like acid. I wasn't able to stop the tears, only let them fall as I rose to meet him, our bodies saying so clearly what words could never convey. Every hurt I tried to repress billowed through me, mixed with sweet care as a rough fuck turned into slow, tender caresses.

He reached between us, thumbing me just right and sending me over that cliff of pleasure one more time as he roared his own release to the heavens.

But even then, in that last moment of breathless, clinging bliss, I could feel him fading, slowly beginning to drain away from me.

"No, please, not yet, please!" I wasn't ready. I was breaking, shattering to bits. I wasn't ready .

I was sobbing then, clutching his biceps, trying to hold him to me just a little longer. I wasn't ready. I'm not ready to lose him.

"I'm so sorry, Shay, my beauty. I'm so sorry." He faded faster then, and that was when I felt it. I was fading too, being pulled out of the dream walk and into my body, still asleep on the bed. He lowered himself to kiss me one last time, but it was barely a whisper against my lips before we both winked out into nothingness.