19. Dirge

NINETEEN

Dirge

I waited up for Shay. How could I not? She might not ever choose to love me; she might choose to hate me. But I knew to the depths of my soul that she was the only one for me. And no matter if she chose to end this fledging relationship between us, I would always protect her. From afar if need be. Her silent, distant shadow, keeping the dangers away.

It would be half a life, but if it saved hers, I'd consider it well spent.

So when my very inebriated mate stumbled into the room and didn't even bother to shut the door behind her, I stayed still until the snoring began, and then quietly nosed it shut. I couldn't lock it in wolf form, but I could lie in front of it until she woke and took care of it herself.

I couldn't say when I dozed off; the nights were long when you spent them telling the Moon Goddess your woes.

And when I slipped into the dream, it was smooth as an early morning stream, unbroken by ripples. I only noticed because for the first time in a long time, I was a man. Panic nearly sent me right back out of the dream, until I turned around and saw my sleeping wolf guarding the door so his mate could rest. His mate who was still lying conked out on the bed.

Except… she was also standing by the window, humming a tuneless song as she opened the blinds a crack to let in the golden morning glow.

It highlighted every angle and plane of her face, gilding her beauty and making me catch my breath. It was Shay, and not.

We were dreaming, both of us, and had somehow come to this shared awareness.

She froze, the tune dying on her parted lips as she stared at me, drinking me in.

"Who are you, and why are you in my room?" she asked, sounding more surprised than angry.

Dream logic. It had to be. It was a weird dream, being outside my body, but… with the power of this pack, who knew what was influencing us? Did it matter?

"You don't know?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and willing my eyes to light up with the wolf. Although, would that work with him sleeping? Who knew?

"I—" She stared at me, considering. "I dreamed you up, didn't I? You're who he would be if he could be a man again," she said with sadness, the smile slipping from her stunning face. I had to put it back there. It was like the sun falling from the sky at noon, so utterly wrong, I couldn't stand it.

I wanted her to always be smiling so I could bask in the rays of her warmth.

"Hey, don't look so glum. If this is a dream, and we're here together, we may as well enjoy it, right?"

She snorted, one perfectly shaped eyebrow rising up her forehead. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

I took one step closer, then another. She didn't back away, didn't run. Her pupils blew wide with arousal as it clicked what I was suggesting. She was blissfully unafraid in this dreamscape, and I took full advantage. I closed in on her personal space, taking in a deep lungful of her scent. Even in my dreams, it was potent. More so as a man, where I could identify the subtle scent of freesia, the sharp tang of tender-sweet pomegranate highlighting the flowers so tantalizingly as her arousal bloomed around us. It was completely and utterly Shay , and I wanted to drink in every drop straight from the source.

I lowered my nose to the base of her neck, letting it trace the tender skin there. Although I knew this was a dream, she felt solid in my hands, her warmth branding my bare chest and my thighs through the thin pants I wore. When I inhaled, she shivered, her hands coming up to land on my shoulders. For a moment I thought she'd push me away, demand that I keep my space. But she clung to me, her breasts pressing against my chest, nothing but a wisp of thin fabric between us.

My blood heated at the small encouragement, and then my lips were on her neck. The first taste of her branded my soul. If she'd had me before, she owned me now. Every inch of my being was in her delicate palms. She could crush me without a thought.

But she wouldn't.

Her surprised gasp when my lips made contact drove me to explore. I kissed up the column of her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses across her jaw, until I was teasing the corner of her full, wide mouth. She had lips a man dreamed of seeing wrapped around his cock, but right this minute, all I could think of was tasting them. Devouring them.

I nipped her lightly, and her lips parted for me. Only an idiot would waste an invitation like that. Threading my fingers into her sleep-mussed curls, I tilted her head to the side and melded our lips together in a kiss.

But kiss was too small a word to contain what passed between us. There was fire and light, victory and exultation, surrender and ecstasy in such a small space of time, I might have missed it. But time slowed, and the whole earth narrowed to just the two of us, then and there. I pressed her back against the cool window, letting my hands roam down her sides as she melted beneath the onslaught.

I didn't consciously strip her out of her pajamas, but once my fingertips brushed her bare stomach with that intent, her simple tank top disappeared.

Damn, I love dreams .

She moaned as I spanned my hands across her narrow waist, then trailed the touch around to her back. Shay was strong, but small compared to my considerable bulk. I could easily tuck her beneath my chin if I wanted to. But I had something better in mind at the moment.

Reaching down, I hitched my hands beneath her ass and lifted her, spreading her thighs so I could step between them. She hissed between her teeth when her bare back made contact with the cold glass, but I was happy to warm her up.

My dick tried to punch a hole through my cotton pants as her molten core settled against me, and I couldn't contain a hoarse groan at the sensation. Good Goddess—if I didn't get a grip, I'd come in my pants like a teenager.

That wasn't about to happen. So, I focused on her, trying to block the overwhelming onslaught of being this close to my mate for the first time. The urge to bury my dick inside her and sink my aching canines into her neck was hardest to suppress, but I managed by taking the hard bead of one of her nipples into my mouth and sucking hard.

Should I be gentler? I didn't know. I hadn't been with a woman in decades, at least. Even if I had, none of them mattered. That was before. Before her. She was all that existed as I tasted, teased, and nipped until she cried out and dug her fingers into the back of my neck, pulling me to her other breast. I gave that one the same treatment, keeping her anchored to me with the weight of my hips against hers.

"Dirge, I— Oh." She breathed out little nonsense words as I drove her higher. When nothing was left but cries of need, I lifted her again, looping her thighs over my shoulders and shredding the impeding fabric of her thin sleep shorts to bare her gleaming, wet pussy to my gaze before sliding up to bracket her rib cage and hold her steady against the window.

"Shay." I whispered the word against her heated flesh, so honored in this moment that she was here with me. I didn't deserve her. I never could, but I was grateful she deigned to let me touch her anyway.

She gripped my shoulders tightly with both hands. "I'm going to fall, Dirge. Put me down," she ordered, voice shaking with need and curiosity as much as fear. I looked up at her then, from under half-shuttered eyelids.

"Give me two minutes, and if you still want me to put you down, I will." I dove in before she had a chance to argue further, her keening cry as my tongue speared her core drowning out any objections she may have had left.

Her orgasm had her soaking my chin in less than ninety seconds. But I didn't stop, ruthlessly circling her needy little clit with my tongue as she arched against the pressure.

"Dirge! Dirge, put me down. Please, I need you. I need you right now." She tugged a fistful of my hair, the sharp sting only driving me to lick her again, from the bottom of her slit all the way to that crown jewel of pleasure. She moaned then, long and low, but didn't release her grip on me. "Put me on the bed. Now. "

She growled then, the low sound driving me to obey my female. I carried her across the room still on my shoulders, face buried in her stomach until I reached the mattress. I settled her with extra care on her back, letting my fingers trail up to toy with her reddened nipples again, but she was done with foreplay. Leaning up on one elbow, she dragged my lips down to hers in a claiming kiss.

Heat bloomed inside me at the possessiveness of it. I wanted it, every bit she had to offer. There was heat across my chest too, but I paid it no mind. She consumed my every thought.

She used my hair to anchor me so she could pull back, panting. "Inside me, right now. I need you. Hard."

My dick pulsed with unfettered need at the command. I was as dominant as a wolf could be, but I loved that command on her lips in a way that I'd never loved anything before. I straightened just enough to peel down my pants, kicking them away as she drank me in with dark, hungry eyes. The soft gray of them shone in the darkness as I climbed back onto the bed, hovering over her on my hands and knees.

She bent her knees to cradle me with her hips, greedy hands on my hips pulling me down, down, down until the head of my cock bumped up against her.

She whimpered, and I was lost. One stroke, to the hilt. She enveloped me with heat and desire, and the sound I made when she squeezed me was not human.

"Please, please," she whispered, hoarse with need. "More," she urged, and then I was moving, plunging inside her heat, lost to my mate in the most primal way possible. She cried out as need spiked in my blood. My canines lengthened, the wolf still present even in this dream state, urging me to mark her. Mate with her.

"Shay." My words were guttural, almost unrecognizable.

"Yes." Just one word. So simple, yet it held the weight of the whole world. I reached down to stroke her clit for a half second before I struck, fangs sinking deep into her throat as ecstasy and connection surged through me. She screamed and arched underneath me, her nails scoring my back deep enough to draw blood of her own as I plunged into her once more, twice, and then roared my own release into the night.

Something deeper pulsed in the air between us as I collapsed over her, letting my lips find her neck, my tongue trace the wound there to seal it. She whimpered at the tenderness, but pulled me closer. "I'm too heavy. I'll crush you," I murmured, trying to pull to the side.

But my stubborn mate wrapped her legs around me, defiantly holding me in place. "Stay with me. Just stay with me."

And so we lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, just breathing in the early morning glow and the unexpected gifts we'd found together.