16. Nikolai

16

NIKOLAI

T hree months later.

“May the First bless you with speed and strength that is unmatched. May Akeldama bring you power and healing. And may both show you the path to honor, to live this life as they intended.”

I turn to face the congregation, reveling in how right it feels to stand a few steps up, staring down at the vrakken who are bowed before the altars to our god and goddess. This is what we were meant for.

“In the name of the god and goddess that gave us life, let us go fulfill our purpose.”

Slowly, the vrakken before me rise as I stay at the front of the room, hands clasped behind my back and wings tucked in tight. They filter out the open doorways into the sunlight. No longer is my temple tucked away in the back of the caverns. Now, it shines in the sun in all the glory it deserves.

As I stand at the front of the sunlit temple, soft murmurings filling the air, I allow myself a moment of quiet introspection. So much has changed these last few months since I took command of this failing base.

Gone are the days of chaos and indulgence. Rigorous martial discipline now reigns, just as it should. Soren and Raziel's warriors whipped even the most stubborn into shape with relentless training. Patrols and scout rotations proceed like a fine-tuned machine. The forges run day and night, readying weapons and armor for the coming conflict.

The temple stands as testament to our renewed dedication to the old ways. No longer does it hide in dank caverns. Vrakken now flock to its light and wisdom with reverence.

In the beginning, some resisted my edicts, clinging to their slack ways. But one by one they fell in line as our preparations took shape. Soon we will be ready to face the dark elves with righteous fury.

I linger within the cavernous temple as the last stragglers of the congregation file out into the courtyard. Soft beams of morning sunlight filter in through the open doors, catching motes of dust spinning through the air.

Taking a deep, centering breath, I make my way toward the doorway, ready to attend to my duties. But as I draw near, a sight catches my eye that roots me in place.

There, just outside bathed in radiant sunlight, is Jessa. She stands encircled by a small group of humans, head bent intently as she speaks to them about the sermon. Her melodious voice carries snippets back to me as she patiently guides them through questions about our rituals and beliefs.

“Our kind was blessed,” she tells them. “Akeldama found a human woman worthy of his gifts and bestowed them upon her…”

Her dedication to learning our ways and worshiping the First and Akeldama these last months has only deepened my attraction to her.

I was hesitant when she first came to sermons, keeping my distance. Lev was the one that taught her and answered her questions as I watched from a distance. He helped her prepare the altars and learn the way of the temple until I was burning with jealousy.

Still, each day, I refuse to give into my baser desires. She’s at the temple nearly as much as I am, and aside from the occasional glances, she hasn’t approached me again. It’s best for us to keep our distance so we don’t repeat our mistakes.

But that has done nothing for my longing.

I halt, unable to tear my gaze away as I drink in her breathtaking beauty. She wears a dress in deep emerald green, an echo of the rich forest hues she so loves. The color brings out flecks of amber and gold in her hazel eyes. Her chestnut hair is pinned up, the curls framing her face in a way that I can’t look away from.

Unbidden, my gaze traces over her alluring curves, the stretch of bare neck revealed by her upswept hair. Desire wells up sharply, my thoughts turning to wondering how she would feel pressed close in my arms, her soft lips yielding to mine...

With an effort, I wrench my mind away from such dangerous fantasies. I cannot afford distraction or weakness. Not when I still have a vital duty to fulfill here.

Even if I want Jessa more and more with every day. Staring at her from a distance feels as if it is my own form of torture…

Especially when she seems to have lost all interest in me.

I watch as she walks away from the group and over to Lev. He smiles at her kindly, I have to fight to keep myself from ripping her away from him. “Do you want help?” she asks, gesturing to the altar.

When he nods, they both ascend the steps, and I feel as if they have forgotten I’m here. I burn with the desire to march up to her and claim her, show Lev who she belongs to.

But I can’t.

Now that martial order has been restored to this base under my command, I must turn my focus to carrying out the High Priestess' edict against human and vrakken bonding. No matter how fiercely I might want Jessa, she can never be mine.

Luckily, she can’t be Lev’s either and he knows it.

I make my way to the bustling training rings, needing distraction from the temptation of Jessa's presence. Better to lead by example and hone my skills than indulge such thoughts.

It’s something I’ve taken up a lot. I spend several hours out here each day, stretching my wings and muscles in a way they have never felt before. I’ve become quite proficient at sparring at this point.

I strip off my shirt, baring my muscular torso to take advantage of the warm sunlight. Grabbing a training sword and shield, I step into the packed dirt of the central ring.

A young vrakken named Theron bows respectfully. "Need a partner?" His eyes gleam eagerly at the prospect of sparring with someone new. Some see me as a great challenge with my wings. Others think I’m weak as I’ve always been in the temple.

But they all learn that I am called Akeldama blessed for a reason.

I return the bow. "It would be an honor. Show me where you are at in your training." I settled into a balanced ready stance.

Theron grins and immediately presses the attack. I smoothly block and parry each of his aggressive strikes. He's fast and fearless, but lacks strategy.

The clash of our blades echoes as we dance across the ring. A crowd gathers to observe the elder warrior schooling the youth.

I offer advice between blows. "Mind your footwork...close that opening on your left...patience is key in battle..." Theron nods, adjusting his technique.

But eagerness makes him sloppy. I knock him back again and again, exploiting weaknesses in his form that leave him open. The boy has fire, but much to learn.

Sweat drips down my bare chest, tracing over the dips along my muscles. I lose myself in the dance of combat, moving on instinct. Even in the temple, I was trained. We are all meant to be warriors, and when I do practice, my entire body hums with excitement.

This is what I was born to do.

With a final burst of speed, I sweep Theron's legs and press my blade to his throat. He taps out respectfully. I help him stand and clasp his shoulder.

"You have promise. But remember - a warrior's mind is as great a weapon as the steel in his hand."

Theron pounds a fist to his chest. "Impressive." He assesses me with a new gaze. “I think I could learn a thing or two from you.”

I nod approvingly as we leave the ring, several vrakken clapping one of us on the shoulder and murmuring words of encouragement as we pass by. This is another reason I come out here. It has bridged the gap between many vrakken and the temple to see me out here. I’m bringing honor to the First by using her gifts and showing others that I don’t have to live in the temple to praise my goddess.

As I exit the ring, winding down from the invigorating spar, I notice a familiar figure watching from the crowd.

Jessa stands off to the side, cheeks flushed. Our eyes meet for a heartbeat and I see undisguised longing in her gaze as she takes in my sweat-slicked, bare chest.

For a moment, I consider going to her, that one look enough to push me to my breaking point, before I clench my hands in frustration and stay rooted in place.

No matter how clearly we might desire each other, I cannot allow anything deeper to develop between us. As a vrakken, I must not muddle my blood with a human. We are growing weaker with each generation, and I have to put a stop to it.

Even if it’s the furthest thing from my mind these days.

Donning my shirt roughly, I stride off in the opposite direction from where Jessa departed. Being near her threatens the stoic control I rely on.

Physical passion fades in time, but my commitment to doing my sworn duty will remain steadfast. I must keep my distance from Jessa, for both our sakes.

Akeldama only knows what would happen if I let down that wall for even a second.

I’m afraid that I would never recover.