Chapter 23

Jodah

My muscles ache and burn from sparring, but in a good way. In the way that tells me I am gaining my strength back. I only had a few twinges of pain along the scars covering my chest. Iglance at Benham as we walk to where his mate waits for him at the edge of the arena wrapped in the luani fur he gifted her. He is proud of all the scars he carries.

"They are a sign of my strength. That I am a worthy opponent," he always says.

I run my hands along the four markings and marvel at them. I too am a strong and worthy opponent. The luani tried to kill me, but he did not succeed.

"Thank you for training with me." Benham is the only tribe brother who has not been fearful of injuring me farther. I am grateful for that as well.

"We will need all our warriors fully prepared if the threat the Njeri left with us is to be believed. According to Kala, they rival the Krijese in ruthlessness. We cannot let our guard down for a moment," he cautions.

Now, more than ever, it is important for me to keep up my strength. The cold dust has not stopped falling which will make training more difficult, but will build our—my—endurance. It is not easy to maneuver through the depths of it so I must work harder. Once more I glance at Benham. Mating has changed him. He is less abrupt and more patient. Less silent and more involved in the tribe. All because of his mate.His mating marks are nearly as dark as the wood of the fiku trees. One day, mine will be as well. They darken more every turn of the sun.

Aside from the elders and Kyler, Benham is one of the oldest members of our tribe, although he is only eight warm seasons older than me. He is someone I have always gone to for advice and when I have questions. I have stopped worrying about my soul light and whether it will ever ignite. It no longer matters. There is no doubt in my mind that Sage is my mate. The one true being that is meant for me. Still, I do wonder if I am the only one ever affected by this.

"Have you ever heard of any Tavikhi not having a soul light? One that never shined even after their mating marks appeared?" Up until now, I have been hesitant to speak of my affliction with anyone besides Kyler. Even Nene does not know my soul light remains dark. I did not want anyone thinking Sage was not worthy of being my mate, nor I of her.

He comes to a stop next to Maeve and wraps his tail around her to gently pull her into him. She goes willingly and, like Sage, she snuggles into his side for warmth.

"My baba once spoke of a mated pair of elders who shared the female's single soul light. They were both gone before my birth though. That is the only instance to my knowledge."

"Do you know why the warrior was without one?"

Benham studies me a moment. "The male had nearly died during a battle with the Krijese. The warrior spoke of seeing Deeka and thought he had traveled to the land of the goddess to be with our ancestors. Yet he survived. And although his mating marks appeared when he touched the female who was his keeshla, his soul light remained dark."

I recall my own experience witnessing Deeka while I was injured and believed myself, as well, to be in the land of my ancestors. "So it's possible then."

Benham nods. "It would appear so. Or at least it once was possible."

That is all I needed to hear. I fist my chest in thanks. He returns the gesture and then he and his mate head up the hill. They only take a few steps before he sweeps her up into his arms. I watch as she rests her head on his shoulder. A sudden urge to find Sage hits me.

She is alone when I walk through the entrance. There are no signs that Kala or Sorin were here for so many turns of the sun. The platforms are tidied with new furs and the supply table is perfectly organized. My mate is hanging wet furs on the drying racks near the fire. Her attention is on her task. I observe her for several beats. The way her hair curls over her shoulders and shines bright like the flames she stands close to. None of the small colored dots on her face are visible from here, but I do not need to see them to know they are there. I have all of her features memorized.

Sage turns her head and our eyes meet. A reflection of light glows from within them and a powerful emotion fills my body. I nearly stagger from it. My heart skips a beat and then pounds rapidly as though I am in the middle of sparring instead of having finished.

Unable to resist, I stride across the tent and claim her lips with mine. I give everything I have to my keeshla. Perhaps I do not have a soul light because I traveled to whatever void in which Deeka met me, but it does not change the fact that my heart is filled with Sage. I draw back only far enough so that I may speak the words.

"I love you. The goddess has blessed me with the strongest, kindest, most beautiful mate in all the galaxies. You are perfect, inside and out." I cradle her face between my palms and stare into her eyes. "It does not matter if it never ignites, because I do not need a soul light to know that I love you."

Sage lays her hands over mine and the wetness she calls tears fills her eyes. I pray to Deeka that they are the tears of joy she has spoken of. "I love you, too. More than I ever thought I could love someone."

I bend once more to mouth touch—kiss—with her, but she presses a finger over my lips. "I need to tell you something though."

"You can speak to me about anything."

She swallows and dips her head slightly in barely a nod. "What if I told you there might be a possibility you might have a soul light? Or, at least, half of one?"

I cock my head. "What do you mean?"

Sage's gaze darts from mine before returning. "Remember that heartburn I thought I'd been having? The weird burning sensation in my chest?"

"The human ailment you described? Yes, I remember." I am uncertain what that has to do with my soul light.

She pauses for a long beat. "I'm not quite certain it's heartburn. As crazy as it sounds, I believe, somehow—some way—that it is a soul light. Mysoul light."

"How can that be?"

"I don't know. It's just something I feel deep down inside."

Every mated warrior has said that the humans do not possess a soul light and yet, I think of the two instances in which I could have almost believed that a light shone from Sage's eyes. Of how a warm heat emanated from her and seeped beneath my skin to warm me as well. I have seen far too many miracles and unexplained things that I have always said occurred because Deeka wished them to. Is it entirely impossible to believe that the goddess gifted my mate with her own soul light? I stare down at my keeshlasearching for evidence, but nothing is present. Still, there is a voice within me that says she speaks the truth.

"Thank you for sharing your light with me. I will cherish it until I leave this world and return to the lands of the goddess."

Sage breathes in sharply. "You don't think I'm being unrealistic or insane?"

I stroke her hair back off her face. "I believe anything is possible. And if you feel a soul light within you, then I believe you have been gifted one."

There is no movement and then she throws her arms around me, squeezing me tightly. "Oh my god. I love you so much."

My tail wraps around her and I embrace her in return. Contentment and happiness fill me. As does a sense of completeness. This feeling is what I had always hoped to experience with a mate and now I have it. Sage was meant to be my keeshla. I will spend the rest of my life thanking Deeka for bringing her to our planet and to our village. This is where she was always meant to be.