Chapter 19

Jodah

I had long given up my dreams of what it would be like to have a mate in my furs. The older I got, the greater the impossibility it became. To be lying here with Sage is a blessing. I give a quick prayer of thanks to Deeka before turning my full attention back to my beautiful mate so she can teach me exactly how and where to touch her.

"Your skin is as soft as the most delicate bloom." Some instinct drives me to caress more than her chest mounds.

I trail a fingertip along the hard bone plate that separates them and then over the multiple rows of bones along her sides. When she does nothing to stop me, I continue discovering all the places where my keeshlaenjoys my touch the most. She does the same. Her gaze travels over my chest and downward toward my hip. Pain flashes in her eyes before she lifts them to meet mine.

"This may sound silly, but I've always thought men with scars were sexy," she smiles softly, but it disappears as quickly as it arrived. "Of course, that was before I thought about how they might have gotten them. I hate that you were hurt so badly."

I redirect the movement of my hand and palm her cheek. "It is the path Deeka chose for me. She did so with reason, which I believe is to bring us together. If I hadn't been injured you may never have touched me and triggered my mating marks and we would have missed out on this. I do not have any regrets about my scars or how I received them, because they led me to you."

Wetness glistens in her eyes and I stroke the skin beneath it. "What is this water? I have seen you produce it many times."

Sage laughs quietly. "They're called tears."

"Do they have a meaning? Often you seem sad when they appear." My words have not caused her sadness, have they?

"They mean different things. One can cry tears of sorrow, but there are also tears of happiness."

I cock my head. "And these are from happiness?"

She nods. "Very much so."

Pride swells within me that I am the cause. Leaning in, I mouth touch with her, slipping my tongue inside. Without hesitation, she teases it with her own. I deepen our connection and my hand travels again, leaving her face and moves along her arm, then her side until I reach the gentle curve of her hip. I squeeze gently and Sage moans into my mouth. The sound heads straight to my cock, whose hardness I have been trying to ignore so I do not spend like an untried male. Even if I am one.

When she rubs her chest mounds against me, a burning heat seeps into my flesh. The scent of her arousal fills my nose and my hand twitches with the need to feel her cunt.

My keeshlasaid my touch was welcome any time unless she said otherwise. When she had removed her leg coverings, my gaze had been drawn to her center. It had appeared damp and a small, swollen node at the top was just barely visible. Unable to resist, I slide my hand from Sage's hip and drag my finger through her slit. She is soaking wet.

She sucks in a sharp breath and her legs widen. "Yes, touch me there."

I continue learning my mate's body. Using her own fluid, I explore. I brush across her node and with a shudder, she cries out. Her nails bite into my skin and the color she said signified attraction spreads across her chest. So she has another pleasure center. How many more are there? I will make it my task to find them all. "What is this node?"

I stroke it again and Sage clutches me tighter. She takes in a shuddering breath. "It's my clit."

"Show me what you like."

There is a brief pause and then she lays her hand over mine and guides my finger. "Massage it. Like this."

For several beats of my heart, I follow her lead. When I hit a certain spot, her whole body jerks. Finding my confidence, I take control. I listen and watch, adjusting the direction and pressure I use on her pleasure node based on her reactions and what affects her most. It isn't long before Sage goes rigid and then she loosens a cry of pure pleasure as she shakes. Her head falls back and her mouth parts. I claim it with mine with a ferocity that shocks me. A primal need to take her swirls inside me.

She responds to my feral need with her own. Nails claw down my back and her hips thrust forward, pushing harder into my hand. My hand slips in her slick fluid and the tip of my finger dips into her opening. A knowing drives me to press it farther inside. Her cunt squeezes me and I nearly explode at the thought of that tightness clenching down on my cock. Our harsh breaths fill my tent as does the scent of our arousal.

I add a second finger and pump them in and out while a third plays with her pleasure node. "I want my keeshlato come again. Spill your fluid all over my hand, soaking it with your desire."

Sage whimpers in my arms and wetness pours from her. She clutches me tightly against her and with a few more thrusts, she cries out for the second time. Pride swells within me that I am able to please her. Her small hand grips my cock.

"I need you," she whispers harshly.

As though my mate has unlocked something inside me, I roll her to her back and settle between her thighs. I line my cock up with her cunt and slowly enter, wanting to savor this first time together. I grit my teeth at the exquisite sensation of finally being inside her. It far exceeds any fantasies I might have had. My tail wraps around her leg and pulls it to the side, opening her up even more to me. Sage meets my gaze and neither of us look away as I move. For a heartbeat it is as though a light is shining from her eyes. She blinks and it is gone.

I rock my hips faster. Harder. Going deeper with each thrust. There are no words to describe the sensation of being one with my keeshla. It is as though all this time a piece of me had been missing, but it is not until this moment that I realize I was incomplete. Sage fills that emptiness as though that is where she has always belonged.

The slight tingling that has been humming beneath the surface of my mating marks grows until my entire body is vibrating with it. I search once again for my soul light and wait for the disappointment when it remains unfound. Except it does not come. Instead, it takes me only a moment to realize that I do not need it to know that Sage is my keeshla. The mate Deeka sent to me. The one who has always been my destiny. My fated mate.

Knowing the pleasure it brings her, I stroke her clit. I want her to reach her climax once more before I join her. It does not take long before she cries out my name and I lose myself to the most wonderful feeling ever. My whole body goes rigid as I spill my fluid. With my chest heaving with the effort, I stroke Sage's cheek. Her eyes flutter open to meet mine. The most perfect smile forms on her lips and she turns her head to touch her mouth to the inside of my hand. Her fingers loosen their grip on my shoulders and she runs then along the crest of them.

Not wanting to crush her, I withdraw from her cunt and move to my side. She turns to face me and snuggles against my chest. My tail loops down the length of her leg and the end of brushes up and down the lower part of it. A sense of peace settles within my chest.

"Did I please my keeshla?" I believe I did, but perhaps in my inexperience I missed something.

Sage rubs her cheek along my upper arm and murmurs a small sound. "You were perfect."

I had hoped merely to not embarrass myself with my inexperience. "I am glad you believe so."

She tips her head back to stare up at me. "Everything about you is perfect, actually. Or at least perfect to me. You make me feel special. As though I am the most important person in the world to you. No one's treated me like I'm important. No one."

"Then they were all fools."

Sage stretches up and places her mouth on mine. It is gentle. Soft. Sweet. Like her. She ends our mouth touching and presses herself closer to me. Her breath is hot against my skin and my mating marks have not stopped tingling. It is a constant vibration that rattles over my flesh. In the pale firelight, I can tell they have darkened more. A sign that the mate bond is deepening.

I continue holding Sage as her breathing deepens and she makes faint rumbling sounds. My eyes grow heavy as well. I tighten my hold on her and slowly drift off, content to have my mate in my arms.

Faint whimpers make their way into my consciousness. I open my eyes to a darkened interior. The fire has died down and a chill is in the air. In my arms, Sage jerks and cries out. Her head swivels back and forth and her hair lies damp on her brow. She mumbles what sounds like "no" and she twitches more.

"Sage." It is only a whisper as I do not want her frightened. "All is well. Can you hear me?"

The wetness she called tears spills down her cheeks. What is causing her distress? I tighten my hold, hoping to comfort her and she thrashes against me, pushing me away. I call her name once more and in a move that startles me, she sits straight up and takes in harsh, ragged breaths. I gently lay my hand on her arm and she scrambles away from me with a shriek. Her eyes are wide and filled with panic.

"Sage. It is I, Jodah." I do not raise my voice, but rather keep it soft as if calming a frightened dreri.

At last, her gaze grows focused and lands on me. Her face crumples and she covers it with her hands, shaking her head back and forth, apologies spilling from her lips. Slowly and carefully, I close the distance between us and gently touch her shoulder. She flinches, but before I can guess her intent, she throws herself in my arms and buries her face in my neck. The tears she sheds glide down my flesh, but I do nothing to wipe them away. I merely hold her.

I do not know how much time passes before her tears slow and she sags against me. Her breathing slows although she takes in one long shuddering breath. At last, she draws away and wipes the wetness from her face. She folds her legs and brings them up toward her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"Sage?"

Her eyes meet mine and they are filled with so much sorrow. "I guess it was good while it lasted."