Chapter 15

Jodah

There has still been a small part of me that has questioned Deeka. That I have not truly been worthy of a mate. Why else would my soul light remain dormant? But no longer.

"It has taken me until now to realize that I am a worthy mate for such a strong female as you. When Deeka came to me while I was injured, I questioned her and myself. I did not trust the path she was putting me on." Guilt swarms over me. "I should have known she would not forsake me."

Sage lays her hand over mine. Except there is a look on her face that I have seen before. While there is no wetness spilling from her eyes, they are filled with sorrow. "I'm not as strong as you seem to think I am. And of course you are worthy. More than anyone I know, in fact."

She smiles but there is not a matching joy coming from her. I do not let my gaze leave her, because it feels as though something has changed. I cannot name what it is. Sage lowers her arm and steps away from me. I study her as she returns to eating her stew, but she does not appear to be enjoying it. Confusion fills me. I glance at Kyler who also studies her. The inner points of his brow bones have shifted downward. He turns his gaze to me and I can sense the same uncertainty in him.

There is a familiar silent tension within the tent that has not been present since those first moments when I had discovered Sage and I were mated. I cannot question her, because Sorin wakes up and she returns to his side like she has for the past two turns. The smile she gifts him is the one I know to be real. The two of them speak while I finish my stew. I take the bowl she set aside and my own and exit the tent.

"Jodah," a voice calls out and I glance back as Kyler catches up with me. "You are the only one Sage has listened to the past few turns. She needs to sleep and eat more. It is not good for her to continue with this obsessive determination."

We continue walking toward the central fire. "Was she the same with me?"

Kyler's expression grows more serious, if that is even possible. "Worse. With Sorin it was only two turns and there were others present to assist. You were present to see that she ate and slept even if it was within the healing tent. But when you were the one lying on that bed of furs, it was seven turns of vigilantly watching over you and most of the time it was only her. I tried to have her tribe sisters—including the shefira—as well as a few of the warriors not healed enough to return to hunting or sparring assist while I rested, but she refused their help."

I bring up the image of Sage when I confessed to not feeling worthy of being her mate. That is when the atmosphere within the tent changed. Despite her assurance that I am worthy, could she have been speaking untruthfully? I discard the thought in an instant. She was too sincere in her words. Her gaze had been too intent on mine.

"There has to be a reason for her behavior. Something that pushes her." I am Sage's mate. The one person she can trust to speak of anything with. It is the same with me. There is nothing I would not share with her.

"I agree there is a force which is driving her."

We reach the central fire and I discard the bowls with the rest. I turn to Kyler. "I will speak with her and discover what it is."

He glances in the direction of the healing tent. "I do not believe it will be easy."

The evening meal approaches when I enter the healer's tent. I have spent the time since the midday meal working with Nene on something I hope Sage will like. The fire burns in the center and is surrounded by several torches to provide enough light to brighten the interior. She stands beside Sorin who is finally on his feet. He holds onto her arm to steady himself as he takes a few steps. Kala hovers nearby, his gaze solely on his son, who has been weakened by sickness and a lack of food.

While the hills where Kala and he now make their home has plenty of game during warm season to feed their entire village, numbers are sparse during the cold season. Even our own hunters are having to travel farther away and returning with less. The Krijese number fewer than half of the Tavikhi, but their skill lies in warring, not hunting. They have had no need for quiet and stealth when they have attacked with brute force.

It is no wonder Sorin grew ill. As though finally sensing my presence, Sage turns her gaze in my direction. Whatever change occurred in her earlier is gone and she appears genuine in her obvious pleasure at seeing me. I return her smile and move toward Kala while she focuses back on the kit.

"He is doing better," I note as Sorin and Sage slowly walk together. The sight reminds me of the times she and I made rounds in here during my recovery.

Kala's gaze drops and tracks my mating marks. After he has completed his observation, he turns his attention to my female. "She is your mate."

It is not a question, but I answer anyway. I am not sure I like the way he stares at her. "Yes, she is."

He nods, his eyes still focused on Sage. "Mine died of whatever disease and decay slithered its way through our people when Sorin was less than five sun cycles. There are so few females left and none of them behave with the gentleness your mate has displayed with my son. It is not our way."

"Perhaps it should be."

Kala looks at me again. "Perhaps."

Sorin's and Sage's pace has slowed and fatigue is written all over the kit's face. She carefully guides him back to the platform and assists him onto it. Once he has settled onto the sloped support I crafted for him, like the one I made for my baba, my mate brings him more of the medicine to drink.

The elder Krijese crosses the length of the tent to stand at his son's side. Sage returns the now empty cup to the supply table and walks over to me. My mating marks tingle, which has become a frequent occurrence recently. I do not believe I am imagining they are slowly darkening in color as the other mated males' do.

When she is within close enough range, I let my tail wrap around her and draw her closer. She stumbles slightly, but I catch her within my arms. Her hands go to my chest and a warm heat transfers through my skin. Sage winces and shifts her upper body.

"Are you well?" I would hate it if I had unintentionally hurt her.

"Yeah, it's just this stupid heartburn again."

Sage has complained of this human ailment frequently. Worry fills me that she is becoming ill. "Have you spoken to Kyler? Is there some remedy you can take?"

"I've meant to talk to him about it, but I haven't had any time."

We will make time. I do not want my mate to be in pain. I raise my hand to cup the side of her face and stare into her eyes. "The next moment you see him, please make the time. Will you promise me this?"

Sage returns my gaze. "I promise."

"Good." I loosen my hold, dropping my tail, and take her hand. "Now, we are going to my nene and baba's tent for the evening meal."

She gestures toward the kit and tries to withdraw from me. "I need to stay with Sorin."

Once again, I pull her to me. "He is perfectly fine here with his baba. If they need something, they can send someone to fetch Kyler."

Sage hesitates.

"Please." I will beg if need be.

She loosens a long breath and nods. "Fine."

"Thank you. Now come and I will show you my surprise."

Before we can move to the door, Sage pivots to where Kala and Sorin have been speaking to each other softly. "If he starts coughing again, get Kyler immediately."

Kala dips his head. "It will be done."

There is another brief pause before finally, she allows me to guide her outside and toward the elders' tents. More cold dust has covered the ground over the last two turns. It reaches nearly to the middle of my lower leg and it has only just begun.

I glance down at my mate as we walk. "May I ask you a question?"

Sage lifts her gaze to meet mine. "Of course."

"You are a wonderful and skilled healer. Over the last few turns I have admired how well you have taken care of Sorin. Except you are not taking care of yourself. It is one thing to be focused on who you are treating, but you appear to do so to an obsessive degree. At least when it came to me as well as to the kit. It is not healthy for you. And I do not understand what it is that is urging you to do this."

"You both would have died if I hadn't." Sage tries to drag her hand from mine, but I do not let her. Instead, I bring us both to a stop in the middle of the path.

"I am most grateful I had you to make sure I did not, but that still does not explain why you would refuse to eat and refuse to sleep. Kyler has been our healer for half his lifespan. He is well-trained to treat all ailments and illnesses. Both Sorin and I would have been well-cared for by him."

"But you could have died." Her voice rises and wetness fills her eyes.

"The Tavikhi do not fear death. We will reside in the lands of Deeka with our ancestors and bask in the goddess' embrace." It is what we have been taught since we were kits. "If it was my time to meet her, I would have done so as a warrior."

"And what about me?" Sage's words are harsh as the water spills down her cheeks. "You would have left me. Everybody always leaves. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I don't care."

I cradle her face and swipe the wetness away. "It is not selfish to wish for someone to stay. Especially when that someone is your mate. But it would have done neither of us any good had you made yourself sick."

Sage doesn't speak for a moment and then she throws her arms tightly around me and presses her cheek to my skin. "I'm sorry."

I return her embrace and that same heat from before sinks into my skin and climbs up to my chest to settle. It is not a sensation I have ever felt before. It is a heat that glows but does not burn. Together we stand until the water leaking out of her eyes dries up. She draws back and wipes her hands across her cheeks.

There are colored splotches dotting her skin and her nose, but my mate is still beautiful. She sniffles and smooths down the chest covering she wears. I do not rush her. Finally, her gaze meets mine.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

I lean down and mouth touch with her. "I am your mate. You took care of me, and now it is my turn to do the same for you."