7. Harper

Ilay staring at the blank wall. Staring, and yet I saw nothing.

Figures moved in front of me and spoke, their voices slow and haltering. I could only make out their knees and the tops of their foot coverings. Sometimes they wore sheer dresses, other times they were bare, and other times still, they wore clothes that covered them head to toe.

And still, I just stared.

I didn't even really see the stain on the wall, formed by moisture that had soaked the paint. It didn't remind me of anything, which was a good thing. Thinking of nothing right then was better than thinking of anything.

Because it could too easily lead me back to that moment…

And so, I stared at the wall and saw nothing.

Some spoke words of comfort, of understanding, though I doubted many really understood what I was going through.

The girls in the Prize Pool seemed to be under the illusion I had lost the baby. And in a way, I suppose I had.

When they took the baby—it was so much easier to think of it as "the" baby rather than "my" baby—I was forced to watch as another tiny little human being was taken from my arms and given to God knows who.

This time, I felt certain the new parent would not be as good as I would have been.

When they took the child upstairs, I heard the humming and the music and couldn't bring myself to understand what they were doing to it. The baby cried and screamed and no one was picking him up.

Why wouldn't someone pick him up? His scream changed and I wondered if maybe he'd been hurt.

Then he turned silent. And that was the worst noise of all.

I had to console myself with the knowledge Trayem had taken the child upstairs and would never let anything happen to the baby.

But he was the one who took the child up those steps in the first place. How was I supposed to trust him after he did something like that?

It took me hours before I calmed down, and only then, it was due to exhaustion more than coming to terms with what had happened.

I passed out, and when I awoke, found the soiled sheets and towels they'd used during the birth had been removed. They had also washed, cleaned, and fed me—I assume intravenously. Nothing solid had passed my lips and I couldn't taste anything on my tongue.

My body still ached from the birth. I was still exhausted. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and began to weep, somehow sensing I was never going to see my beloved baby again.

I never spoke another word after that, not even when Junic came over to check my health signs. She organized for me to be taken out of the cell and moved back to the Prize Pool.

"I'm sure you would like to see your friends again, wouldn't you?" she said amiably.

I could have torn her eyes out.

But I didn't. I shuffled along like a zombie, pausing only at the foot of the steps that led up to Krial's apartment.

They placed me on my original pallet and there's where I laid for the rest of the day.

Rest of the night? I couldn't tell.

Either way, I hadn't moved a muscle and stared at the wall, admiring that stain that never moved.

The only person who offered any real words of comfort was the only person who knew as much as I did about the situation.

Lily sat on the edge of the bed, the lace of her black dress tickling my bare knee. I didn't move to scratch it.

"I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel," she said. "I've been meaning to come speak with you all day but I never knew what I should say. Should I say everything will be okay? That things will get better from now on? No. It never will and life will never be the same for you again.

"I saw them take the baby from you and I honestly don't know what happened to him after that. I've promised myself to find a remedy to ensure none of the other girls fall pregnant. It's a miracle none of them have yet. What they'll do when they don't, I don't know. Probably replace us. There's little else I can do for the girls. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

She got up and moved away. As lacking in encouragement as her words were, they touched me more than all the other girls' comments put together.

I began to wonder about the future, about what would happen to me once they decided enough time had passed and it was time for me to get back to work.

Have more sex.

Get pregnant again.

Only for them to tear the child from my breast the way they had with the first.

I couldn't let that happen. I would rather die than to let it happen again.

Even being sold to a pleasure house was better than that.

So, I devised a plan to tell the other girls what happened to me in as much detail as I could and then…

And then…

What?

Would the girls try to fight? Could we lead our own miniature rebellion? Or would they go back to the way things were and prostitute their bodies?

It was the dead of night and most of the girls were out working when a figure, cloaked in shadow, sat on the edge of my bed. I hadn't seen them enter and couldn't distinguish who they were.

They sat there for a very long time before speaking.

"I know you don't want to speak to me," the figure said.

I wondered if Trayem would come speak with me. It'd been his final act of betrayal that took the babe from my arms and given it to someone else.

For the first time since I lay here, my muscles twitched and I felt I might actually be able to move, might actually be able to have an effect on the world around me. I would curl my fingers into a fist and slug him in the face.

That would be my first act. I hoped it would be the first of many.

"I never meant for any of this to happen," Trayem said. "You have to believe that. What we had, what we shared, it was real. I've never fallen in love before. I never thought I could fall in love. You ended that dry spell for me."

Glad I could be of assistance, I thought. I tuned his words out and focused on that spot on the wall.

He continued to speak and try as I might, I couldn't prevent his words from filtering into my mind.

"I want to share my story with you so maybe you might understand why I did what I did," he said. "Krial raised us in many ways. We were always meant to be his personal guard. We became like brothers and sisters. He got us to go on missions for him and to do his bidding. It became a way of life for us to do what he wanted when he wanted. It was what we did because it was what we always did.

"I can't tell you the number of terrible things we did during those years. They brought us here to this prison. I can't say I regret doing a single one of them because they all served to bring me here to you.

"And then I did that unspeakable thing, the thing I don't expect you to ever forgive me for. Of all the things I've done, none have made me feel worse than what I did to you today."

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I sprung up and slugged him in the face. At least, I aimed for his face. I couldn't see him clearly in the semi-darkness and smacked him in the shoulder.

When he seemed unaffected by the blow, I drew back and smacked him again. And again. And again.

I beat at him harder and faster than I thought I was capable of, releasing my anger and frustration at him one punch at a time.

He didn't raise his arms, didn't try to protect himself. I caught his lip and it cut on his teeth. My fists hurt but I didn't care. I just kept flying at him and he just sat there, taking it.

Finally, my anger spent and unable to keep up the attack, I fell back and wept.

Some of the girls on the other cots heard the commotion, glanced over, and lay back. I doubted they went back to sleep. It was too much juicy drama for them to pass up.

"How could you do it?" I said, the tears streaming down my face. "How could you take our one and only child and… What did you even do with him?"

He couldn't look me in the eye.

"Krial is a species called the hayim. They have the ability to live forever. To do that, they suck the life from other living creatures. The younger they are, the more powerful the effect."

"You… let him feed on our baby?" I said incredulously.

When you lived surrounded by aliens each day, you got used to seeing and expecting strange things. But this…

This was on a whole other level.

I flew into another rage, hurling my fists at him as fast and as hard as I could. I screeched, my voice loud. Anyone who missed the first round would almost certainly hear this one. It would feed their fascination for weeks to come.

For once, I didn't care what they said.

"How could you?" I wailed, even more tears streaming down my face.

I wondered where they kept coming from.

"Stop," Trayem said. "Harper. Enough."

He caught my forearms and I raised my legs to kick at him instead. He leaned into me, wrapping his arms around me tightly and preventing me from escaping.

I shoved him off me but he was too strong. I fought to escape but at the same time, I wanted him to keep hold of me and never let go.

I hated him. And I loved him.

His mouth was beside my ear and he whispered to me.

"He's alive," he said. "The baby. He's still alive."

I froze immediately, trying to gauge if what he said was true or if it was another emotional attack.

I pulled back and looked him in the eye. He maintained his powerful grip on my arms.

He nodded and even, vaguely, smiled.

But how could I trust him?

I looked inside myself. Wasn't a mother supposed to have some kind of mystical connection with their children? I searched myself but among all the grief I felt no kernel of hope that he might still be alive somewhere.

"I need you to come with me," he said. "Come with me now and I'll get you somewhere safe. You and the baby."

Could it be true? Dare I even believe it?

More than that, what other choice did I have?

These monsters controlled me and I had no way to fight them.

I had no choice but to go with him.

I got to my feet and, having been lying in bed for most of the day, felt a little woozy and lightheaded.

Trayem braced me and held me upright.

"Take me to him," I said.

The other Prizesmust have heard me creeping across the room but they didn't stir from their uncomfortable cots.

They were good girls, I reflected. They could get into a lot of trouble if they stood idly by as we made our hasty escape.

I didn't speak until we were out of that backroom. We snuck across the dais where we usually presented ourselves to the victorious fighters.

It was the last time I would likely see this place—whether we succeeded in escaping or failed. Success meant I would never think about this place again save for my nightmares, and awake each day thanking God I was no longer in this hell hole.

And if we failed… Krial might give me mercy and end my miserable existence.

"I'm going to put you on the shuttlecraft and give you coordinates to a planet far from here," Trayem said.

"You're not coming with us?" I said, suddenly struck with desperation.

Fear stoked that emotion. I wished it wouldn't be the last time I laid eyes on him. More than that, I didn't want my child to grow up without knowing his father.

"I'll stay behind and delay the others from following you," Trayem said. "I don't know how long it'll take for them to notice you're missing and that the child is still alive. You need to get far from here or they'll come after you."

"Why would they do that?" I said as Trayem led us up the stairs to the science lab.

"Because Krial's process of regeneration isn't complete if the original host is still alive. There's a link between Krial and the host. The only way to break it is to sever it for good. To kill the original host. It's the only way to sever the link."

I'd been in this place for five years and I was still overwhelmed by the underlying rules of the abilities and powers each species possessed. It was like an entire world existed beneath the one I'd grown up understanding.

We reached the top of the stairs and came to a stop. He put his hand to the door handle of the science lab. The lights were still on. I supposed the scientists worked day and night.

On what? I wasn't sure. To collect the information they could from the prisoners, I guessed.

"Trayem," I said. "Wait."

He looked back at me with sharp eyes. Although he looked directly at me, his mind was elsewhere. Focused on the escape.

It was the evidence I needed that proved this escape was for real and he wasn't only trying to trick me into another trap.

I was still angry at him—more than angry—I was disgusted by what he'd done to me and his only child.

But at the same time, I couldn't deny the unrelenting waves of pure love I felt for him. The need to be cuddled in his arms, the need for him to hold me the way he had those handful of times we shared intimate moments in a tiny cell.

If this was to be our last moment together, I wanted them to mean something. I wanted them to be special.

There was plenty of time for sorrow and anger and regret—the rest of my life—whether that was just a few hours or the next fifty years.

I put those destructive emotions aside and took his face in my hands.

He blinked, his vision shifting from his plan, and looked at me.

He saw me—really saw me.

His cold expression broke and the warmth shone through. He took my face in his hands and we leaned into each other, hugging closely.

We didn't say a word. We didn't need to.

We brushed our faces against each other, his lips caressing mine, against the softness of my cheeks. He must have tasted my tears. He kissed them as they fell, halting their tracks down my face.

My eyes were closed, and so were his. We took this moment, this delicious moment that would serve us well in the years to come—assuming we still had years left to live.

"I love you," I said.

I didn't need to say it, as he must have known how I felt about him. It was more a need for him to hear me say those words, for him to drink them in and remember so there was no doubt in his mind about how I felt toward him.

"I love you too," he said.

"Come with me," I said, biting back the bile that rose to my throat.

I always told myself I would never let a man treat me the way he had and hang around for him to treat me like it again. But the situation had changed and my heart still belonged to him, no matter how much I might try to convince myself I no longer loved him.

"I can't," he said, and he genuinely looked sorry for it to have to be that way. "They might let you and the baby go but they would never stop hunting me. In their eyes, I would be a betrayer. Krial would never let that stand."

I whined and cuddled up closer to him.

"I don't want to leave you."

"But you will. It's better this way."

He pulled back from me and ran a hand through my hair.

"The scientists are still working in the lab," he said softly. "We can't creep like this. It will make them too suspicious. You need to stand up straight and look ahead as if you're resigned to me taking you up the stairs. They're never in on Krial's plans and should ignore us for the most part."

I assumed my new posture, standing with my back straight and chin raised.

"Good," Trayem said.

He took a deep breath and reached for the handle. He pressed it and, not giving the scientists a single look or moment of his time, led me up the stairs that fed directly into Krial's apartment.

I noticed one of the scientists stop to look at me as I ascended the stairs. I was certain it was Junic but I wouldn't look her in the eye. She might recognize my fear. Her eyes followed me as we ascended the stairs.

We reached the top and Trayem listened to the scientists below. None followed us.

Then he reached for the door handle that would take us into the apartment. He eased it open just a crack and peered through it to the room beyond.

It was dark and I couldn't make out anything but darkness and shadows.

Trayem gave me a nod, took my hand, and led me inside.

He shut the door silently behind us and crossed the front room.

It was pitch black and I couldn't make out much of the interior. I had never been in this room before and it was all new to me.

With the moonlight streaming through the large windows at the back of the room, I could pick out the skeletal outline of some of the items.

The room was arranged into sections. A large coffee table sat in the middle with a pair of sofas on either side, and a small number of chairs arranged around the outside. A large desk had been pushed against the wall on the right. They were very comfortable surroundings that could only be the supervisor's quarters.

Trayem either had better eyesight than me or had memorized the layout of the room already.

I stumbled in the pitch darkness as we crossed the space one step at a time.

I hindered him, feeling at the darkness with my feet before giving up and following Trayem, trusting he knew his way through this invisible assault course.

We approached a doorway at the far end of the room.

Outside the broad windows, I could make out what we were heading towards. The shuttlecraft sat parked on the outstretched metal arm of the launch pad.

The means to escape had been this close the entire time?

Was that how Ivy had escaped with her fated mate?

I recalled the story of how a shuttlecraft took off soon after they were declared missing.

Could this be my means of escape too?

Trayem came to an abrupt stop and I bumped into him. He spun around and placed a hand over my mouth to prevent me from making a sound.

His face was so close, almost pressed against the other side of his hand.

He stood there, listening, straining to hear something I hadn't, or perhaps couldn't.

He even stopped breathing as it was causing too much noise.

Then I heard it.

A rustling of clothing.

It hadn't been caused by either of us.

Trayem threw out an arm and it collided with something that blurred in the moonlight.

Another blur and Trayem caught it on his forearm again.

Then another swipe.

Were there two adversaries?

Three?

Trayem grunted as one of those blurs struck him once, twice, three times. He fell to his knees and pulled me down with him.

"Stop," a deep craggy voice said.

It came from the corner of the room.

The lights came on and revealed the scene in all its horrific detail.

The other three guard members stood around Trayem armed with metal poles—the weapons they had knocked him to the ground with.

A thin sliver of blood eased from the corner of Trayem's mouth where one of the creatures had bitten him.

He was on his knees and I suspected it was a way to show his supplication to the creature that sat in the corner.

My heart was in my throat at the sight of the thing.

It had blazing red skin pulled taut over a pointed skeletal frame and black horns that curled upward from his powerful square head. His body was lashed with so much muscle it made Trayem look like a weedling in comparison.

But what most caught my attention was the little bundle held with surprising delicacy in his lap.

The baby was quiet and burbled innocently, though his skin was pallid and his movements were weak and lacked vitality.

I knew without hesitation it was my baby.

Trayem had told me the truth.

He was still alive.

But soon, his parents wouldn't be.