Chapter 22

The scent of woodsmoke and war fills the air. The cool bite of steel burns my nostrils, the whine of someone sharpening a blade cutting through the air. Campfires crackle, all around us, hushed conversations near and more raucous ones further out from where Dabin and I stand. It's all too familiar, and my blood rushes through my ears at the assault on my sense.

I made my life in camps like these, in the years leading up to Inasgow, the years I trained and then trained others from the many Starbound houses. This camp doesn't reek of blood and infection, and there are no cries of pain from the wounded and dying. No silence from the dead.

My hands twitch at my sides. Dabin's words float by me, leaves on the river of my awareness. I cannot focus on my old friend. Memories of our past flit by, shadowed and dim, but there, thanks to my mate. The village where his warriors sleep is half-full, and I remember the cost of our war too well. Still, despite our past, I can tell he doesn't trust me. He glances at me sidelong, watchful; the way one might watch a stranger.

"How did it happen?" He asks, and from the irritated expression on his face, I can tell it isn't the first time he's asked.

"Hmm?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"How did you fall asleep?"

"Ah." I close my eyes, searching my memories. "It happened after the blood drinker's stolen mate tried to escape…" I trail off. "Not long after Inasgow, when I was out hunting. I remember nothing. Darkness. I woke up when Lana arrived, hardly remembered who I was." A headache blooms behind my eyes, and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Darkness?"

I glance over at him. A new, jagged scar arcs across his temple. New to me, at least. It's white with age. There is a hardness to him I also don't remember, though with Danielle at his side, he seemed content enough. Gentled, even.

I consider his question, watching a pair of his warriors spar. Metal clangs on metal, sparks flying as their blades whip past the blur of their bodies.

"Darkness," I repeat. "Maybe the smell of smoke. Herbs." The answer surprises me. The memory is blurry, as though I've tried to open my eyes underwater and to see through to the bottom.

Dabin nods gruffly. "It's as I thought."

I pause, searching for the right words. "Once, not so long ago, I wouldn't have to ask what it is, exactly, you are thinking of." I stop short of saying he does not trust me, but the thought hangs heavy between us all the same.

Then I think of my mate, and the truth I hold from her. My gut clenches. Perhaps he is right not to trust me.

"It's been a long fight." He doesn't elaborate, simply watching the sparring men circle each other in the ring. They dodge and feint, and I tamp down the rage boiling beneath my skin. The bitterness that threatens to overwhelm me, the sadness that Lana, for all that I would give her everything, does not trust me, not fully, either.

I clench my teeth. "I would have rather died a hundred times at your side than have abandoned you all."

He looks me full in the face then, turning his attention away from his warriors. "I know." The lines in his forehead deepen, his mouth tugging down into a frown.

I dip my chin, regret coursing through me. I would have, too. The sparring before us intensifies, the pair on the ground, weapons long abandoned, now wrestling for the upper hand.

"Your mate." He points to his face, then his lip. "She was hurt."

"Not by me." Anger spreads through me, and a low growl rips from my throat.

"Harbinger? Blood drinker?"

"Another male. On her home world."

"It is good she is here, then. Their world…" Dabin's gaze cuts back to me. "It is very different than ours. Danielle is curious about everything, eager to learn. Headstrong and stubborn. She treasures knowledge. Your mate, she might need a gentle hand. It is not an easy change, especially not in these circumstances."

"Do not tell me what my mate needs." The words rip out of me before I can think better of it.

"I am not trying to argue. I wasn't only speaking of your mate." He shrugs one shoulder, running a hand over his horns.

"Then what?" I shift uneasily. Where is he going with this?

He looks me in the eye, holding my gaze. "If her sister is like Danielle, then Lesath might try to break her to his will."

"It is not done. You and I both know that is the ultimate crime." My teeth bare in a snarl.

Dabin's lips thin with worry. "Lesath is not himself. None of them are. Even Kaus and Hyadum are unpredictable. Castor, too. Unstable. Acubens and Rischa have given up. We've lost communication with the rest; no one has heard from them in decades." He claps a hand on my shoulder. "You have come back to us late, but hopefully there is still time. The Starbound mates… they give our people hope. You give them hope. Perhaps it is not too late to bring balance back, to hold off the harbingers and take back Avleim."

Avleim? "The capital is overrun?" My stomach twists, despair crawling across my skin. I did not even think to ask who sat the throne.

"The Butcher King resides there. It is not safe for any of us. We've staked out Kirdiff, and the rest of the Houses hold their lands, but barely, my friend. Barely. This is not the Vraya you knew a century ago."

I nod once. My throat is tight. It cannot be too late. My blood pounds under my skin, a lightning quick tingle starting, as the force of the vow I swore to my mate intensifies, pushing me to find Lana's sisters.

I only just found my mate.

I refuse to lose her.

"I'll tear the blood drinker swarm to shreds before I allow this to continue."

Dabin claps a hand on my shoulder. "It is good to have you back, my brother. I can only hope Hyadum and Lesath return to their senses, too, for the other women's sakes. For all of our sakes. It will not be long until the Butcher King hears of this. Things will come to a head between us again. We must be ready. He will bring brute strength and magic both."

We're silent for a moment, and the way the temple in Dabin's jaw twitches, I know he's remembering the war. The massacre at Inasgow, the thick scent of blood and the screams of our people. The foul magic of the blood drinkers hung heavy over the town, choking our throats.

"My mate is determined to find her sisters," I finally say, leaning forward onto the fencing. Even now, I am sure Lana prepares to set out and find them. My jaw twitches.

"Do you require aid?" Dabin's hand drops to his side. "I cannot leave this position, not for long. The gate closest here is weak, despite Danielle's work on it. The harbinger you killed may be one of the horde that flew out of it weeks ago."

I puzzle over his proclamation. His mate works the gate? How? I shake my head. "We will need food, clothes. Weapons."

His gaze meets mine. "Is it true, that she does not control her powers?"

I nod once, shame rolling over me. I should have taught her better. She shouldn't even need to be taught. It runs in her blood, same as her ability to speak our language and travel between worlds. Our bond is not enough.

I am not enough for her.

"She will," he says, with a conviction that surprises me; a conviction I lack.

"How?"

Dabin blows a breath out. "You said another hurt her. Maybe she is holding back."

"You think she fears me?" My voice is incredulous, and I bristle. "I have given her no reason to fear me."

"You are an alien to them, Ras. She is in a strange place; her sisters are gone. Her last man wounded her. Is that not reason enough?"

It irritates me, but he's right.

I have to keep trying.

I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted to make Lana safe, to hear her laugh and watch her lips curve into a smile. To feel her soft body, curled up beside mine.

The sooner I can prove her sisters are safe, the sooner she will trust me. Even now, the oath I swore to her, to help her find them, pulls at me. It's been a nagging itch since I vowed it to her. But now, with the news her sisters are in real danger?

The enchanted pull of the starlight oath intensifies.

I clench my fists, my teeth grinding against each other. I will be the mate she needs.

"How long did it take Danielle to trust you?"

"Ah, but that's the thing about Danielle. She's not like anyone else." Dabin laughs, an eyebrow raised. "But yes, it took weeks. A month, maybe. But we had not mated yet."

My eyebrows shoot up. He waited a month to claim his mate? "Well, you've always been the more patient of us two."

"You have the right of it there." Grinning, he turns his attention back to the sparring match.

His soldiers are off the ground now, dusting themselves and talking over their session. The few gathered around the makeshift ring are casting curious glances my way.

"After we return, when Lana is in her power, we will join you against the Butcher King." The thought of defeating that madman in battle sends a jolt of bloodthirsty satisfaction through me.

"Of course, you will. I would not expect anything less from you, Ras." His mouth twists to the side. "But you may want to ask your woman before you make a decision on her behalf. That much advice I can give you."

"She is honorable; why would she disagree?"

He laughs again, a throaty chuckle. "Trust me on this one, old friend. Ask her before you announce it."

I rub the back of my neck, considering the wisdom of his advice. Danielle seems happy enough.

I want Lana to be even happier.

I wish she would let me make her smile.