Chapter 18

Sun streams through the opening in the cave ceiling. Smoke curls through the rays of sunlight, scenting the air with breakfast.

I shift, wincing at the ache between my legs. My cheeks heat and I close my eyes. It's not that I'm embarrassed, exactly. The sex was too good for me to be embarrassed. Ras took his time, making sure I came, like he had some manual to my body and knew exactly what buttons to push.

It's not embarrassment. No, it's a rush of emotions that are entirely too strong for someone I've only known a few days. I need to tread carefully. Despite the fact he's waited on me hand and foot, has done everything in his power to be considerate and kind, it's too soon. It's moving too fast— as though the amazing sex that he says ties us together also laid siege to any haphazard fortification around my heart.

No more sex, I resolve. I need to know more about him before I get in any deeper.

I crack my eyes open again, and gasp in surprise. He's standing over me, his new, shorter hair making him look rugged and hot as hell. Gah, I am a sucker for a good makeover, and this one is… freaking fantastic. A slow smile dawns across his face, and he crouches down, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

My heart does a little squeeze, despite everything. The look he gives me is open, his blue eyes crinkling at the sides. His hand strokes down my face, and I yawn.

"You are so beautiful."

I smile back at him, despite my resolution to slow down. How the hell am I supposed to slow down when he looks at me like I'm the best thing he's ever seen?

"Good morning," I murmur.

"Did you sleep well?"

I frown, trying to remember. No nightmares. I slept like a rock. "Yes."

"Good. Then making love also helps you sleep." He nods. "I will make love to you every night, if that is what you need."

I laugh in spite of myself. "Oh, will you now?"

His arms scoop me up, and I squeal as he walks me over to the breakfast he's laid out on a flat river rock. More fish, yum-yum. Though, he's also foraged some kind of berries. Maybe he remembered where to find them after my magical pussy fucked his memories right back.

I cover my face with my hands, trying not to laugh at myself. I have got to stop trying to logic my way out of this entire world. None of my Earth logic means anything now.

"Yes," Ras is saying earnestly. "I would make you come dozens of times, if that is what it takes for you to rest well. Do not trouble yourself over it, my Lana, it will be my solemn duty."

I snort again as he settles onto the ground, pulling me closer against his chest. "Sounds like a real hardship."

He picks up a berry and pops it in my mouth as I finish speaking. Flavor bursts over my tongue, and he holds a piece of fish out for me to eat next. Good grief, it should be overwhelming, to have the full force of his attention like this. It should be suffocating.

But god help me, after the neglect and then all out abuse by Brad, Ras's attention, the way he takes care of me, even the gentle touch of his hand against my thigh, it's a balm to my soul. It's not fair to keep comparing him to Brad. They couldn't be more different if they tried.

Where Brad was cold and dismissive, Ras is sunlight and acceptance. Where Brad was petty and narcissistic, Ras is kind and empathetic.

I'm done thinking about Brad. I don't want to even think his stupid name again.

And no one has ever been as good as Ras in bed. Or rock wall. Or spring-fed pool.

"Are you in the mood for more love-making already?" Ras asks, as though he senses the direction of my thoughts. Oh god. Another blush suffuses my cheeks. He said we were tied emotionally, or mentally, or something.

He does sense the direction of my thoughts.

His lips dip to the sensitive spot behind my ear, even as he offers me another handful of berries.

Resolve!No more sex until I know him better. Ugh, but his mouth feels so good against my skin.

"Wait." I hold a hand up, waving the food off. "When do we leave to find my sisters?"

"Did you ever think that perhaps they are busy with their mates, too?" He sighs, the breath gusting over the still-damp spot his lips were on my skin, and I shiver. "You are in such a hurry to find them. Did you ever think that perhaps they do not wish to be found yet?" His hand makes lazy strokes on my thigh, and I grit my teeth in an attempt to remain unaffected.

It doesn't quite work.

"You promised we would go today." I turn my head towards him, frowning.

He inclines his head in agreement, but his blue eyes spark with mischief.

"I did. And we will. But perhaps we should mate again." Ras nuzzles against my neck, his scruff tickling my skin. "I wouldn't want you to have nightmares tonight. I cannot be selfish where you are concerned."

"No," I say, and I mean for it to be firm, resolute, but it comes out on a little groan that sounds like anything but no. Old worry surfaces, that telling Ras no will set him off, that I need to manage myself, control my emotions around him.

But all Ras does is smile and press a kiss to my forehead. "It will be as my mate wishes."

"We can go find my sisters?" I blink in disbelief.

"Let us eat breakfast first. You need your strength." He pops more food into my mouth, and I chew and swallow it at record speed.

"Where do you think they are?" I manage to ask before he has a chance to feed me more food.

He sighs, rubbing his cheek against my hair. Just like a cat. "I have many memories now, of before I slept. I remember the scents of the site I found you, my star-fated mate, and I know who they belong to." He puts more food in my mouth, and I narrow my eyes at him while I wait for him to finish his story.

Ras raises his arm, and I expect another bite of food. Instead, he grips a stick and draws out several points. I tilt my head, watching him work.

"I scented Lesath." The drawing takes shape, and he links the points he's drawn. "This is one of your sister's mates. I could sense their bond, even though I was not sure who he was at the time."

"Scorpio." I breathe, both fascinated and horrified. "Does he, I mean you— you turn into a lion. Does he turn into a…?" It's a dreadful image, and I swallow. Dear god, I hope Ali isn't his mate. Ali hates bugs. Loathes them. Has a complete "kill it with fire and if it burns the house down so be it" attitude when it comes to bugs of any kind.

"A scorpion? Yes." He turns back, his expression neutral as he watches me. "A huge, black scorpion. He is a fearsome opponent in battle. We must tread carefully where he is concerned. If he has not mated your sister yet, then he will be territorial and vicious. He was one of my oldest friends, before…"

He trails off, a distant look in his eyes.

The food sticks in my throat. God, I hope this scorpion dude is with Mina. Mina can handle anyone. Ali is all sunshine rays and good vibes, and the thought of her with a massive insect makes me queasy. Ras strokes my hair, and some of the tension melts out of me. I'm really glad he turns into a lion, because bugs are so not my bag, baby.

"It will be fine, my love. He would never hurt his mate."

I blow out a breath, the words ringing true. No, not the words. His entire aspect. His mind is open to me again, and I stare into his eyes. He nods, smiling, placing my hand against his chest. Affection and warmth surge through me, nearly overwhelming me.

It's him though; it's how he feels about me.

My heart does that funny little squeeze again, and I reach up to stroke his cheek. Rough stubble rasps against my fingertips, and I do it again, scratching a little. He leans into the gesture, his eyes half closing in pleasure.

"We have waited our entire existences for our mates. You may not know much about our world or people yet, but you may trust in that." His eyes open, and he searches mine. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I say, overwhelmed by the strength of the emotions pouring off of him. His lips are so close, I would barely have to shift to press a new kiss to his lips.

No. If I kiss him, I'm going to have sex again, and no matter how much I trust he won't intentionally hurt me, I need a clear head. I need space.

Don't I?

He waits, watching me intently. I drag a hand over my face. Of course, he's waiting. He can feel my indecision. I can't decide if this bond is annoying or a gift. Maybe it's both.

"Who took my other sister?" I make myself ask. Ali, please be Ali.

He smiles at me again and drags the stick through the sandy dirt. I recognize this one faster and am somewhat reassured. At least it's not like, Cancer, or something. A giant crab man sounds weird as hell.

"Taurus," I say.

"Good. I have the most beautiful and clever mate." Ras grins at me. Pleasure ripples through me at the praise.

"His name is Hyadum. He is your other sister's mate. Strong, brutal when he needs to be, but otherwise a solid man. He and I are —were— closer than Lesath and me, as we grew older. Lesath has always been prone to moods."

That doesn't sound great. This Lesath just gets better and better.

"How do we find them?" I ask, and he offers me another bite of food. When I shake my head, he eats it, chewing thoughtfully. His eyes take on a faraway gaze, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with appreciation for him.

"We need supplies. There is, I mean, there used to be, a bazaar a day's journey or so from here. It's in another House's territory. We can seek his aid first, see if he has heard from any of the others, and then set out from there."

"Does he have a mate? Will it upset him to see you with me?" For some reason, the thought of them searching for hundreds of years for someone to share their lives with makes me really sad and lonely.

"So thoughtful you are, my love." He chucks me under the chin. "He did not when I last was awake. It does not mean that he does not have one now. Still, it will probably be best if we try not to flaunt our bond in front of him."

"What's he like? What house is he?"

He scratches his chin, lost in thought. A frisson of concern edges over me. His concern. "He is a good man. He will help us though, when he decides a cause is worthy, he will work towards it tirelessly. If he does not already know, I will tell Dabin about the harbingers. It is time to prepare."

"Dabin?" I ask.

Ras traces more stars in the sand. "Dabin." He points to one. "Slaughterer." He connects the dots.

Capricorn. Sure, okay, why not? But Slaughterer? Yikes.

"Does he turn into a goat?" My nose wrinkles.

"His is not a mutable aspect. He wears the horns, yes, but is otherwise like you. One form."

"Ooookay."

"I have so much to tell you, my Lana Kit." A troubled look crosses over his face, and sadness tinges the emotions he projects towards me.

The need to soothe him overwhelms me, surprising me. "I will learn." I make myself smile. "I already know what a good teacher you are."

He beams under my praise, his face lighting up. Wow. He's gorgeous, and a little sigh escapes my lips.

I clear my throat, holding myself back from kissing him. It's like a reaction at this point, something I don't have conscious control over.

Disappointment briefly clouds his features before he smiles again. "Come. Let's eat, and then we will set off to Dabin's home and seek his aid."

Before I can answer, he's popping more food in my mouth. I grin up at him as I chew, settling uneasily against the hard planes of his muscular body. Yes, I'm happy we're going to find my sisters. Yes, I'm pleased that he's seemingly infatuated with me, probably due to some biological or supernatural imperative that he calls mating. He acts like I've hung the moon.

For now.

It's too easy to feel comfortable around him. It's too easy to think that he's honest with me, that this honeymoon phase of feelings he expresses won't melt away into resentment and isolation.

His chest rumbles slightly, that odd purring sound. It's strange, but I enjoy the sensation. Still, I can't relax completely. The memory of our bodies entwined sends a thrill somewhere between fear and excitement through me. I have to be more careful; I don't want to get hurt again. I swallow the food down, and it sticks in my throat. I'm not hungry anymore.

I imagine a giant scorpion and shiver.

Things could be worse.