Chapter 33

C al was sitting on the couch outside his office, reading a worn and bent paperback with a cup of coffee in his hand. She dropped onto the couch beside him with a heavy sigh, and he looked up with a bemused smile.

"Hello to you too."

"Hey. Remember when you said if I needed someone to do girl talk with while Maggie and I aren't speaking, I could come to you?"

Cal dogeared his page and set his book down, squinting at her. "I'm absolutely certain I didn't phrase it like that."

Perhaps not, but he had told her to come to him if she needed to talk or rant, and oh boy, did she need to rant. "I considered forcing Sierra to listen to me, but that seemed like a breach of boss-assistant boundaries, you know?"

"Probably not the best person to comment on those," Cal offered with a wry smile. "But I am on board with the girl talk. What's up? "

"It's about Liam," she warned.

"I figured that's what girl talk would entail. Shoot."

If her mind wasn't so muddled, she would laugh out loud at Cal's eager expression. The man was such a gossip, but she trusted him to keep whatever she told him to himself. She knew he wouldn't even tell Maggie, unless she asked directly, and why would she?

Jazz took a deep breath and considered her phrasing. This was Cal's son she was talking about, after all. "Okay. Liam won't let me break up with him."

Cal opened and closed his mouth no less than three times, confusion on his face. "I didn't even realize you were officially together," he said finally, and Jazz groaned.

"Me either! But Liam says we're in a relationship and I don't seem to get a say in the matter."

"Huh. That's pretty bold. I didn't realize we were allowed to do that." Cal raised his brows and ran a hand over his jaw, clearly impressed with his son.

"Cal!"

"Sorry." He gave her a sheepish, dimply smile that was exactly like Liam's. Fucking Michaelsons. "Okay, so you don't want to be together? Officially, I mean."

Jazz crossed her arms and scowled. "I didn't say that."

"But you're trying to break up with him."

"Exactly, he just won't let me."

Cal had a slight deer in headlights expression as he nodded. "Mmm. So just to clarify, you don't not want to be together, but you also want to break up with him? "

"Right."

He pinched the spot between his brow and closed his eyes for a moment. "Okay. I can do this. So you want—Um no. It's not that—Fuck. Right, scratch that. Why do you want to break up with him?"

"What?"

"You want to break up with him, so I assume you have a reason for that. What is it?"

Jazz leaned back. "Well, he's… you know."

"I think it's safe to assume that I don't."

She sighed, staring down at her shoes. "Maggie would know," she grumbled.

"Of course she would. She's Maggie. Maybe you could talk to her about this? Not that I'm not happy to girl talk. But I also don't have a fucking clue what you're saying."

Her heart sank into her stomach. "I want to talk to Maggie. I miss her. I just… I don't know." She'd wanted to call Maggie the second Liam had sprung the relationship they were apparently in on her. Though, knowing Maggie, she'd probably figured it out long before Liam had had to spell it out for Jazz. Her brain was confused; her heart was fucking thrilled. She had no idea what to make of any of it.

"She cried for three hours last night," Cal said gently. "She misses you like crazy. You're both just so stubborn, and if you keep waiting around for the other one to reach out, it could be weeks, for Christ's sake." He wasn't wrong.

"I'll think about it. "

"And when it comes to you and Liam, I don't really know what's going on, but I know I love you both and want you to be happy. Maggie and I wasted months refusing to let ourselves be in love. We'll never get that time back. Don't make the same mistake that we made."

Jazz had become entirely too comfortable wasting time in the name of fear, she knew that. But knowing that didn't make it easier.

"Thank you. I'll try my best not to mentally discount everything you said," she added begrudgingly, and Cal laughed.

"That's all I can ask for. C'mere." He stood and held his arms out, folding Jazz into a warm hug. "You're going to figure it all out, Jazz. And you have lots of people on your side. We're not all like your parents." Cal patted her on the back.

"Thank God."

The elevator dinged and Sierra shouted, "Knock knock," as she stepped out. "Ooh, I'm so getting in on this hug." She barreled into them both, closing her arms around Jazz and squeezing. "Is this just a fuck Mondays hug, or is there a special occasion?"

"It's an I'm doing a great job ruining my life and also Cal is probably going to be my father-in-law someday kind of hug," Jazz offered, disentangling herself from her boss and her assistant. She would never survive in a totally professional setting. "Daddy-in-law?" she suggested, and Cal winced and shook his head. "No, you're right. That would be weird. Anyway, what's up, Sierra? "

"Your sister's here to see you. She's downstairs."

And there went the tiny shred of comfort she'd taken from the hug. "Wonderful. Lead on," she said, mouthing thank you to Cal as she followed Sierra to the elevator. "Did Rose say what she was here for?"

Sierra shook her head. "Nope. You know, she's pretty hot." She wiggled her eyebrows and Jazz shot her a warning glare as the elevator doors slid open, spitting them out into the din of the first floor.

"That is my baby sister. Don't even think about it."

" T his place is nice."

Jazz watched her sister glance around Ethel's diner with zero interest, her hazel eyes dull.

"It's pretty good. We come here a lot," Jazz replied, cupping her mug of tea. She'd always been a coffee person through and through, but, these days, something about tea was oddly comforting. Fucking Liam.

She'd taken one look at her sister, waiting for her in the lobby, and her heart had sunk. Whatever Rose had to talk to her about, it wasn't good. Her face was drawn, nails bitten to the quick.

"So what's going on, Rosie?"

Rose wrapped her arms around herself, chewing her lip. "I know we don't really talk often, so I definitely have no right to do this, but I need to ask a favor."

Jazz had never heard her sister so dejected. She reached across the table and took her hand. "You're my sister. Even if we don't talk, I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

"Thank you. I was hoping I might be able to crash on your couch for a few weeks? I can't afford to rent a place on my own, so I just need time to find a roommate who won't murder me in my sleep."

"Is that all? Of course you can stay at my place. Shit, you can take my room and I'll sleep at Liam's." It wasn't like she and Liam were spending nights apart these days.

"Thank you. Seriously. I owe you big time." Rose breathed a sigh of relief.

Jazz narrowed her eyes, Rose's request sinking in. She still lived at home with their parents, the drive to school less than an hour. "Why are you moving out so suddenly? Do you want to be closer to school for the new semester or something?"

Rose sipped her flat white before answering, her voice shaky. "I got kicked out."

"Of med school?"

She shook her head. "No. But I did drop out of school. Mom and Dad found out and kicked me out. I'm not allowed to step foot in their house until I re-enroll, which I couldn't do even if I wanted to."

Holy shit. Of all the things she'd expected, Rose dropping out of school hadn't crossed her mind. "How did they find out?"

"You know Kami's terrible mother-in-law?"

"Unfortunately." Xander's best friend, Kami, had more of a monster-in-law than a mother-in-law. She despised Xan, and she didn't seem to be a particular fan of Kami either.

"She saw me on a date and overheard me talking about dropping out. Not only did she tell Mom and Dad about school, but she also outed me as a lesbian, so that's great."

Jazz was significantly less surprised to learn her sister was a lesbian than to find out she'd dropped out of med school. "Jesus. Tell me they didn't give you shit for that," she said. Her parents had rolled their eyes when she'd come out as pansexual in high school, but they never seemed to have a problem with it. Nor had they had a problem with Xan being bi; in fact, her parents had both been devastated when he'd broken up with his first boyfriend, because he was a baker and always brought dessert when he came over for dinner.

"They didn't care about that," Rose confirmed. "I mean, they're pretty shitty parents, but at least they're not homophobic, I suppose."

"It's something. God, Rosie, I'm so sorry. Why did you drop out?"

"I've never wanted to be a doctor." Rose shrugged, and she looked lighter just talking about it. "I only went to med school because they wanted me to. Remember last summer when I got a job in that lab?"

"Sure. Infectious disease research or something, right?"

Rose huffed a laugh. "Something like that. Well, I loved it. Like really, really loved it. And they loved me. They offered me a full-time job at the end of the summer, but I couldn't take it because of school. So they said they'd call in a few months to see if I changed my mind, and they did, in March. I was in the middle of studying for finals and just completely miserable. So I withdrew from all my classes and I took the job. I started in May."

"Shit, good for you. Are you happy?"

A smile spread over Rose's face. "So happy. I love it. The pay isn't great right now, but it'll go up a lot once I pass the two-year mark, and the benefits are decent. And they're willing to pay for me to get my masters in a couple of years. But mostly, I just really love the work."

"I assume Mom and Dad didn't care about that when you told them?"

"No." Her smile fell away. "Even if I do get my masters, they're not interested unless I have Dr . in front of my name."

"Assholes."

Rose laughed, but it sounded more pained than anything else. "Yeah, well, they've always been assholes. They pushed and pushed me and now they're surprised that I might want a little control over my own life. I've always been so jealous of you, you know."

"Jealous of me ?" Jazz asked, gaping at her? "Why on earth would you be jealous of me?" Rose was the prettier sister, the skinnier sister, the smarter sister, the more successful sister. The easier, better, less disappointing sister.

But Rose looked just as confused as Jazz felt. "Are you kidding? Xan and I are both so jealous of you, Jazz. You're your own person, you're fun, and you have a life outside of this family. You've never given a shit about Mom and Dad's expectations. I wish I could be like you."

God, she'd done a good job of faking it, hadn't she?

"It's not real," she said, running her finger over the handle of her cup. "I give a shit. Like a lot . Sure, I don't try with them anymore, but it's kind of really fucked me up, actually, how much I give a shit."

"Oh." Surprise flashed over Rose's face, but she quickly schooled her expression into something fierce. "Maybe that part's not real, but the rest is. You are your own person, and no one can take that away from you. Not even them." She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "I thought it was better to just give in to them. To just try to be good enough. I thought that one day, I would finally be good enough."

She looked away and Jazz's stomach twisted as she realized Rose was wiping her face. "You had the right idea not to try. I don't know what the hell they want, but it's not us. It was never us."

Jazz loved her parents. For a long time she'd resented them, she'd begrudged them, but she'd never hated them. Not until she watched her sister wiping away tears, thinking she wasn't enough.

"Promise me something, Rosie. Promise me you won't stop trying. Not for them, but for you. Because once you stop, fuck, it's hard to start again."

Rose's eyes widened, but she nodded. "Yeah. I promise. I'm looking forward to figuring out how to live for myself, and not for them. "

"I'll be here for you," Jazz promised. "Whatever you need."

Rose gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you. And I promise not to be in your hair for too long. I don't suppose you know anyone looking for a roommate?"

Jazz remembered a hazy conversation she'd half paid attention to a couple of days ago before her first coffee of the day had sunk its claws into her. "I think I do, actually. You know Sierra, my assistant? Her roommate is moving to Florida. I could give her your number?"

"That would be amazing. Thank you, Jazz. For everything."

Jazz felt some of the tension she'd been holding for days, months even, slip away. "Thank you for coming to me. And you're more than welcome at my place for as long as you want." She rummaged around in her purse and pulled out her keys, unclipping the apartment keys from her car keys. Rose eyed the paddle-shaped brat keychain Liam had surprised Jazz with after her first orgasm with a touch of judgment, but said nothing. "Did you get your stuff out of Mom and Dad's?"

"I packed everything, but I couldn't fit it all in my car. I was going to ask Xan to pick it up once I knew where I was staying."

Resolve straightened Jazz's spine. "I've got it. Leave it with me."