Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Bess

I stared into the bathroom mirror, paralyzed. Seeing that look in Charlie’s eyes made everything inside me swirl like a sickening soup of pain, pleasure, and endless doubt.

I didn’t doubt his sincerity, but I doubted everything else. Because I wasn’t an uncomplicated single woman. I was shattered, disillusioned, and terrified to my core. Charlie had no idea.

It was probably a blessing in disguise that he’d gotten into his head he wanted more and wouldn’t sleep with me on a casual basis. Maybe that would slow our descent down this slippery slope. Whichever way things played out, I’d get hurt. I could already feel the inevitable end, waiting for me on the other side of this. Waiting with a whip in its hand.

I sniffed, hoping Charlie couldn’t hear me. The sound of hail outside had lessened, turning into regular rain. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, pulling deep breaths to calm myself. Hairbrush. Partially dried-out concealer. Mascara that produced clumps if you tried more than one coat. I looked as sad and defeated as I felt. What did he even see in me?

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I found Charlie by the door, dressed in jeans and a grey sweater. “See you in the cafeteria?”

He waved his hand, disappearing through the doorway. The hurt in his voice made my chest feel tight. This wasn’t good. I didn’t want to hurt him. I’d still have to work with him.

Teresa. I needed to talk to her. She’d be at work already, I realized.

“Can you talk?” I asked when she picked up.

“Hang on a minute.” I heard rustling and footsteps. After a moment, her voice returned with an echo. “I’m in the bathroom. Tell me everything.”

“This can’t leak to anyone else at the office, okay? I’d die.”

“Of course not.”

“I know you don’t exactly like Charlie, so you probably won’t approve, but?—”

“Bess! If you’re telling me you’re finally getting some, I don’t even care. I’m happy for you. For all his faults, Charlie is hot and single. Hopefully not terrible in bed.” Her voice rose like it was a question.

“No! He’s… good. But I know we shouldn’t get involved. It’s a train wreck. I have a child. I have responsibilities. You know I’m not financially stable, right? I need to get my life on track before I can even dream about having a relationship with someone.”

“Is he after a relationship, though? We’re talking about Charlie here.”

“Um… he says so but?—”

“This is Charlie. We know Charlie.” Teresa’s voice carried a heavy dose of conviction. “The only child who’s never been denied anything in his whole life. If you want to be his new toy, go for it. Get yours. But I wouldn’t expect too much going forward.”

My mouth twisted. “Maybe that’s a good thing? I’m not ready for anything.”

“Then ride that bronco. Have fun. Use protection.”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “Would you think less of me if I told you I already… kind of…” I swallowed a gulp of air. That would hurt later.

“Good for you! I hope he treated you right?”

“He did. It was all for me, to be honest. He didn’t even… you know.”

Teresa fell silent. I heard the toilet flush, then the tap being turned on. Had she done her business during our conversation? After a moment, she came back on. “You’re telling me Charlie took care of you and walked away?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure he took care of himself in the shower. And he didn’t exactly walk away. We talked and fell asleep. I think we spooned.” I winced. “And now things are weird between us.”

“Okay. Are you sure you’re talking about Charlie Wilde? The Mini Fridge?”

“I know! It’s odd, isn’t it? Do you think it’s an act?”

“He’s very clever. He can talk anyone into buying anything.”

I nodded, my mouth dry. “He seems so sincere. I feel like I’ve misjudged him.”

“That’s how brilliant he is.”

I swallowed a lump and my stubborn heart argued back. “But why would he lie to me? I mean, I’m not asking for commitment. I would have slept with him. He’s the one acting weird, saying he wants to date me and now he’s all hurt because I can’t see this going anywhere. It can’t, right?”

“Would you want to date Charlie?”

Teresa’s question threw me. “I… I can’t.”

Another long silence. “Well, be careful, okay?”

“I will.”

I ended the call and climbed into the loft to get dressed. After a quick phone call to Mom and Celia, I rushed across the yard in a light drizzle.

At the doorway, I ran into Leonie.

“Good morning, Bess. Just so you know, we’ve postponed the forest excursion until this afternoon. The weather should improve soon.” She looked up at the sky and smiled apologetically, as if the rain was somehow her doing.

“Sounds great,” I muttered, pushing past her, my eyes searching for Charlie.

There he was, sitting across the table from Miranda. I felt a strange fire churning in my belly. He’d pulled me into this fake relationship nonsense, awakened desires and messed with my head. Whether I wanted to date him or not, in the context of Rubie Ridge, I already was. Charlie had better remember that.

I marched across the room.

“Charlie!” I smiled sweetly, sliding next to him.

I snuggled up to him, burrowing my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. Lemon and pine. “The weather is awful. We should go back to bed.” I slipped my hand over his thigh, brushing against his crotch.

His breath seized. “Hi, Bessie-Boo.”

He weaved his fingers into my hair, then tugged my head back until he could claim my mouth. I’d never been part of such an explicit public display of passion, but I’d decided to commit, so I did. I met Charlie’s tongue with mine as his cock pulsed against the back of my hand. Fire coursed through me, surging blood between my thighs. When he finally released me, Miranda had disappeared. Instead, Harry stood at the end of the table, head cocked, a funny smile on his face. “You guys are shameless.”

Charlie shrugged, looking a little proud. “Sorry. I can’t keep my hands off her.”

“No apology necessary. I just thought I’d let you know the nude drawing workshop’s about to start.”

“Nude drawing?”

“Yeah. I was hoping for a male model, but sounds like they’re harder to source around here. Unless you wanted to volunteer?” He raised his brow at Charlie, who rolled his eyes.

“No, thanks. I don’t mind drawing a lady.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Harry shrugged and left.

Alone in the cafeteria, Charlie turned to me. “Thank you for saving me.”

“From what?”

“Ms. Whatshername. She’s relentless.” Charlie exhaled, fanning the front of his sweater.

Relief flooded me at the easy connection between us. Maybe we could get past that awkward moment and return to something resembling friendship. Or at least a working relationship.

I flashed him a carefree grin. “No problem. What are fake girlfriends for?”

But he didn’t smile back. He held my gaze, making my skin all hot. “That wasn’t fake, Bess.”

“Sure it was,” I insisted, even if my smile wavered.

“I know you’re scared but you can’t tell me there’s nothing between us.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Charlie. I just?—”

“I’ll get us some breakfast.” The hurt look was back, but with a hint of defiance.

He got up and headed to the breakfast buffet. The table was empty. So, he hadn’t eaten yet. He’d been waiting for me.

When Charlie returned, handing me my seven-cereal mix, he looked even more defiant. I’d given him hope I couldn’t afford to give. I’d given myself room to dream what I couldn’t afford to dream. Despite Teresa’s words, the idea of being with Charlie haunted me.

I couldn’t let that idea grow. I had to focus my energy on something else, and I could only hope nude drawing was the ticket.