Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Charlie

I woke up to something pounding against the cabin roof. Something too hard and tinny to be rain. I turned over, letting sleep slowly evaporate as my mind processed the odd sound. Hail. It had to be hailing. But as my other senses awakened, I noticed something more important. A pair of perfect breasts bursting out of a loose T-shirt, so close to my nose that I might as well have been nuzzling them. Maybe I had. My arm was resting on something soft and round. Bess’s thigh. At this point, it could have been raining rodents outside, and it wouldn’t have cracked the top ten on the list of things I cared about.

Bess stirred and a niggling thought surfaced.

I’d slept in her bed, uninvited. As the message reached my brain, I softly lifted my hand. I didn’t want her to wake up and freak out, but given the racket outside, she was going to. I needed to act quickly.

I took a deep breath and attempted to roll to the edge of the bed. Like an athlete, I visualized the entire series of moves—the smooth roll, swinging my legs over the edge, my bare feet softly landing on the polished wood floor, silently carrying me down the stairs.

Come on, Charlie, you can do this!

But I hadn’t accounted for the blanket. Part of it was still tucked under my body, and Bess must have rolled herself inside it like a burrito. As I yanked it, she followed, slamming against my back.

She yelped and I cursed, untangling the blanket burrito from around my legs.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”

“What’s happening?” Her voice was muffled.

“Not me motorboating you all night, that’s for sure.” I was out from under the blanket now, sitting on the edge of the bed like a night nurse. “Because I respect boundaries. Consent’s my middle name. No, actually it’s Vincent. But I?—”

“What?” Her head popped up from behind the crumpled blanket, eyes blurry from sleep, hair sticking out on the side.

“I definitely didn’t sleep next to you, drooling and groping your ass all night. I’m pretty sure that never happened. Just like a few other things that never happened last night.” I flashed her a grin that hopefully conveyed sincerity, as well as the sort of boyish charm that usually got me out of trouble.

She blinked twice and her mouth tugged a little. “I mean, what’s that racket?” I could barely hear her over the sound of hail. It made me think of fireworks.

“It’s hailing, I think. Steel roofs are loud.”

She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. “That almost sounds like gunshots.”

How bad was her neighborhood for that to be her first thought?

I adjusted my underwear. I was sporting such prominent morning wood it was probably best to wait a while before getting up. But I couldn’t linger. She was sexy as hell and if I wanted to stick to my earlier promise and not touch her, I had to create some space between us.

“I could use some breakfast,” she said. “Do you think we can make it to the cafeteria without getting holes in our skulls?”

“It won’t last long,” I assured her, checking my watch. “It’s not even breakfast time yet. Go back to sleep for ten minutes.”

“How can anyone sleep in this noise?” She sat up.

“Fair enough.”

I adjusted my crotch, psyching myself to get up. Why did I feel so nervous? This wasn’t a big deal.

Last night, we’d fooled around, and I’d been confident enough she was into me. Now, I wasn’t so sure. I’d asked for more. I’d asked for commitment, something I’d never asked for before, and that one move had thrown me completely off my game.

Was this how it felt like to desperately pine for someone? Was this how pathetic I had to be? Suddenly, even the act of standing up and letting her witness my hard-on, made me a little seasick.

She appeared next to me, placing her feet on the floor, standing up and adjusting the neckline of her shirt, cheeks pink. “Was I spilling out of this?”

“A little.” I swallowed.

I’d never wanted to touch anything so badly.

“Well, it’s been a long time since I was poked by a hard-on so I can’t blame the ladies for going out on the balcony.” She pulled a face, brushing the side of her breast.

“What are you doing to me?” I groaned, finally standing up.

It was a good thing I bought quality underwear. Lesser material would have given in already.

“Trying to lighten the mood, I guess.” She skipped downstairs and I followed. “I’m still a bit embarrassed over last night.”

I caught up with her at the bathroom door. “ You ? You’re embarrassed?”

She turned around, leaning against the doorframe. Those cheeks burned bright fuchsia. “Well, yeah. We can pretend it didn’t happen, but I don’t think I can ever wipe that from my brain. Ever.”

“Do you want to?” My voice cracked. “I’ve already replayed it ten times since waking up because I never want to forget.”

“We only just woke up.”

I tilted my head and shrugged. What could I say? The sounds she’d made in the darkness, the way she’d rocked against my fingers… those moments now owned the hard drive of my brain. If Google One ever extended their services to preserving sexual memories, I’d sign up for life.

“Why would you be embarrassed?” she asked, her voice soft as a whisper.

I stepped closer. “I’m trying not to mess this up,” I answered honestly, my heart beating so hard I feared cardiac arrest. Was this how it felt to fall for someone? Dear Lord. This was awful. If I’d been cooler than Fonzie before, that was no longer a problem.

Her eyebrows drew together. “We should have never... I don’t know how I’ll face you in the office but we’ll figure it out, right?”

She looked up at me, so genuinely worried that my heart lurched, crashing into my stomach.

“We’ll figure it out,” I promised. “But please, don’t write me off. I meant what I said. I want to… date you.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck, making my heart skip several beats. “I’m yours this week. Going back to work is going to be awkward, no matter what. So, let’s not think about that.” She reached on her tippy toes to place a kiss on my lips.

It was a gentle gesture and could have turned out that way, had my instincts not taken over. Within seconds, I had her pinned against the door as our mouths crashed together. Like waves against the rocks, turning waters into spraying foam. I craved her like my next breath.

I felt her body melt against mine, pliable, soft, and tense at the same time. I wanted to make her moan so loudly we drowned out the battering of hail. But as soon as I came up for air, my stupid heart spilled words that stood in my own way.

“I want us, Bess. You and me.”

She tensed, drawing away. Her lips looked raw and swollen, eyes unfocused. But her words were clear.

“There’s no us, Charlie. The only us in my life is me and my daughter.”

I nodded, taking a step back. I had to accept it. I couldn’t force my way in. Even if she’d taken that first tiny step to kiss me. She hadn’t offered me what I asked. Not even one date. She’d offered me a few days, in secret. And that had been enough for me to break my own promise. I was the worst.

Bess gave me an apologetic smile and slipped behind the bathroom door. I threw myself on the cold, messy bed I hadn’t slept in, expelling a sigh. It had finally happened. I’d found a woman who made me lose my mind and I couldn’t have her.