Chapter 34

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Baby's first birthday.

It was bacterial. After two days, Pollux concocted an antibiotic, so after five, I was no longer restless, waking to the tiniest sound, occasionally neglecting going to bed altogether in favor of staying up and holding Ash instead.

Settling more of my nerves, I asked Pollux to run a test on the formula Castor gives me. He was able to confirm that, yes, it is a mixture that includes toxic elements, but, no, it isn't anything different than what ent babies are supposed to eat.

That means there are only two things left on the stress-genda.

First, Dani.

Second, Alexios.

Specifically, my feelings for Alexios and Alexios's surprise birthday party, which I am helping set up at Willow's house right now.

"Wow," I murmur, as I arrange bowls of cashews on the kitchen island. "I have never seen so many figs before in my life."

Beside me, Pila laughs, holding a hand to Terra's head while the sweet little bean nods off in her grass wrap against the dryad woman's chest. "Only the best for Xios."

My gaze drifts to the black-and-white, specially-made-by-Ollie-and-decorated-with-frosting-mushrooms smash cake, and I echo, " Right . Only the best."

Does Alexios like cake?

No.

Does that make a smash cake covered in frosting mushrooms an even better idea?

Absolutely.

The lovely, large 1 scrawled across the top amid the shroom decorations makes the corner of my mouth tip into a smirk.

This on top of the Mario HP mushroom pinata outside, I think, makes me a genius.

It's both funny and allows Alexios to obliterate two things he hates.

Best soulmate ever, I am.

When Willow walks into the kitchen, matching the black-and-white décor in her bleached petticoats, I turn. Arms crossed, her attention trails over black balloons and streamers marring the robin-egg blues of her kitchen. "Morning, everyone."

"Morning," I greet.

Pila stops creating fig art on her large silver platter. "It's late afternoon."

"Some of us have sleep schedules; some of us have lives."

Pila's bright laughter eases something tight inside. "You were up finishing that trilogy, weren't you?"

Willow sweeps an arm out and plants her fingers delicately against her chest. "It's not my fault the author is mean and left cliffhangers at the end of every single chapter. I'm a victim ."

A low motor starts up as Zylus, in his black cat form, starts circling Willow's stocking-foot ankles.

She scowls down at him. "You are not neglected."

Zylus's multi-colored eyes peer up at her.

She scoffs. "Of course I love you more than books. You feed me."

His head tilts.

Willow averts her eyes, and the pause between them lengthens.

He meows.

" I'm thinking ."

Giggling, Pila asks, "What did he say?"

"Who knows. I'm still getting used to his stupid thoughts becoming more clear in my brain with every passing week. It was something ridiculous about whether I'd rather live in a world without him or a world without books. I lived a great long time in a world without him, but he's conned me into being unsure whether or not I'd want to go back." Her eyes narrow. "I might hate him, actually."

Shadows gather around the corners of Zylus's feline form, and Willow marches away from him. "No. Don't shift. I'm mad at you for asking would you still love me if I were a worm questions." Snatching a golden fig off the arrangement, Willow notes, "What time is the birthday boy showing up?"

"Any minute now," I provide. "Should be flapping on over as we speak."

Willow bites into the fig and lets a twisted smile overtake her lips. "Such tiny wings. So much flapping." Her smile fades when she looks past the kitchen nook out the window and to the pinata hanging from the closest tree. "Is that filled with spiders?"

"No idea." Leaning to look out the kitchen archway and into the living room, I call, "Alana? What did you put in the pinata?"

Alana pauses setting up a game on the coffee table. It involves rattles and bottles. What excellent mother behavior. "Individually-wrapped mochi. Xios doesn't like eating them, but he does like squishing them, for hours, on end, why?"

My mouth opens, but Willow says, "I would like to add tiny plastic babies…"

"You have tiny plastic babies?" I ask.

"I have Wi-Fi and prepared for this day, yes. Had I woken up earlier, I'd have taped them all over the house." She turns on her heel in a sweep of her frilled dress. "Zy, you may help me, to make amends for your repulsive comments earlier."

It is in the moment she says his name that I realize Zylus confined himself to the corner, head pressed against the wall. In a vapor of shadow, he shifts into a man and pounces on his soulmate, purring, "You love me."

"Yes."

"More than books."

"Don't push it."

They exit the kitchen while a horrible little thought pollutes my poor skull.

Do I foresee loving Alexios more than video games?

Ugh. Don't be idiotic. I don't need to ask the Alexios or video games question, because I'm not that obsessed with playing silly games on my computer. Alexios or other people , however…

Would I be able to stomach staying cooped up with just Alexios and Ash in my house for weeks? No LARPing. No Costco runs. No Castor visits. No faerie dates, or dinners at Ollie's, or movie nights.

Just me, and Alexios, and Ash. Going stir-crazy.

Would we hate each other before long? Or would our pranks and banter grow more delirious by the hour, leaving us in periodic fits of laughter that get us by?

Realistically, the question isn't about whether one person would be enough in an empty room until the end of time. Anyone saying yes to that should probably talk to a therapist about severe co-dependency.

Realistically, whenever life crashes down around me, will Alexios be the one I go to? Will I trust him to help me pick up the pieces?

Haven't I already placed an obscene amount of trust in him?

I thanked him. I trusted he wouldn't take what I said to mean I was trusting him with my soul, and I thanked him.

Despite his odd personality, he's genuinely kind. Selfless, honestly.

For a creature whose definition is take , he seems to have done nothing but give.

Hence, he more than deserves a lovely little birthday bash to celebrate his existence. Because even though existing has been really hard for him…I know I'm really, really glad he's continued to participate in it.

The front door opens, and my heart skips an unwelcome beat before Alana's voice reaches my ears. "Cael, you made it in time! What's the verdict with Sephin?"

As I abandon the snack assortment with Pila in favor of heading to the living room, Cael sighs. "Forgive me, moondrop. The best response I could get out of him was I'll get there if I get there ."

Fully garbed in her fae form, Alana's black moth wings flit as her antennae droop. "Well, that does sound like Sephin."

Pollux, Kassandra, and Andromeda arrive next, which I'm not saying makes my heart skip another beat, but it might. The rhythm doesn't settle when Pollux's gaze lands on me, heavy and darkening.

After three seconds of feeling like an inexplicable disappointment, I gather up my aptitude for not caring what people think and smile—just in time for Andromeda to beeline for me.

"Zahr-Zahr!" she cheers, arms flying around my waist.

I squeeze her tight. "Greetings, small fry."

Sniffing, she declares, "I can hardly believe my little brother is turning one."

"Soon he'll be leaving us all behind, heading off to college, getting a whole career…" I muse, forlorn.

Alana places a hand on her heart and wipes a fake tear off her cheek. "I recall the trauma of his birth like it was in the past…"

My brow arches. "Can't say yesterday ?"

She beams. "I have a deplorable memory."

Truly, we stan a relatable faerie princess.

"What in the—" Alexios swears, suddenly behind me, and my spine straightens. "—is this?"

At differing levels of enthusiasm, and with varying amounts of cohesion, everyone says, "Surprise!"

Alexios flinches, eye twitching.

"Happy birthday, Yama-nii-nii!" Andromeda releases me to throw her arms out again and charge.

Alexios catches her forehead, holding her at arm's length. "The fae do not …" His thundering gaze fixes on me, and his words shrivel up.

Watching someone's will to finish what they were saying evacuate their eyes shouldn't be as seductive as I think it is…

Looking elsewhere, Alexios allows his sister to collide with his body. "How dare all of you hold me in such high regard. What a nightmare it is to know that, should the burden of prolonging this mortal coil become unbearable, I would leave so many scars behind. It quite nearly makes thinking of abandoning you impossible."

"Huh," Ollie interjects, stepping into Willow's house with Brittny, late as ever. "I thought we'd been invited to a birthday party, not an effective antidepressant."

Willow's finger flies into the air. " Henceforth birthday parties are to be called antidepressants ."

I blink. "And here I've spent my entire life thinking they were friend subscription renewals."

Willow's mouth drops open as her eyes go massive. "I love that, too. Either, or. Both are suitable. Come, Xios. Let us renew our friend subscriptions whilst administrating drugs."

Alexios's depressing sigh could topple skyscrapers with its severity. "Don't try to make a social expectation sound cool ."

"Too late!" Andromeda giggles, evilly, continuing to cling to her brother as he makes his way deeper into the living room, perusing the décor.

When his gaze skims mine, heat crawls up my neck.

Time slows down.

And his lips curve before his attention moves away.

What…was that ?

What did that look mean?

My stomach twists as I assess my emotions for any defectors.

Sadly, they're a jumble of spaghetti in my chest.

And I have no idea why my heart skips another beat well after Alexios has found his way past me and into the kitchen.