Chapter 33

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Numbers 32:23…

Like a foreboding sentry, Pollux looms above Ash's crib while I battle the turmoil rioting in my chest.

He's sick.

He's sick.

Alexios woke up around three and learned my baby had a fever , so he took my little boy downstairs and stayed up with him the rest of the night.

The tiny bat bunny man did not think to wake me .

Working through my emotions for the stupid tiny bat bunny man, praying for good news from Castor about Dani, and my baby being sick is a bit much to manage all at once, don't you think, Sir? Look at me, I'm no longer a fully-fledged being. I am merely a ball of tightly-wound nerves.

It's been thirty minutes since I stumbled, yawning, down the stairs and found Alexios barely conscious in the living room. He looked at me, bleary, and murmured, "Ash is sick. His fever hasn't broken all night. I think we should call Pollux. Talk me out of it."

I, obviously, did not.

I lost all my good emotional-suppression and yelled at him, panicked, talking myself in circles over how he couldn't be bothered to wake me when my baby is so sick he thinks we should blow our cover to Pollux.

Needless to say, Alexios and I are fighting right now.

He's just a little too sleep-deprived to realize.

Instead of diagnosing my little boy and telling me everything is going to be okay, Pollux turns his glare on Alexios and grumbles, "How?"

Eyes barely cracked, Alexios mumbles, "As if I'd tell you."

"Have you apologized to Pila?"

Alexios frees a distant, hollow laugh.

Pollux releases a dark, disapproving sound.

"Pollux." I grip Ash's crib and look up into the towering, large man's ink-painted eyes as they fix on me. "Chastise us later."

Letting his tightly-wound shoulders droop, Pollux leans into Ash's crib and scoops my weak baby into his arms. He takes him to the window, stands in the sunlight, and begins a grueling inspection that perhaps lasts a glorious three minutes.

At the end of it, the man says, "Yeah, he's sick."

My already frazzled nerves prick, and I snap, "Um. Yeah. We know that."

"I'd need to do a swab to tell whether it's viral or bacterial, but if he came down with this last night, it may be too soon for anything substantial to show. If his fever doesn't break over the next few days, that might be a clue he needs antibiotics, so I can have some prepared. For now, just try to keep him comfortable." Heavy brow lowering, Pollux looks toward me. "Don't give him anything over-the-counter. Cold medicines aren't for infants, and certainly not infant fae."

"I'm not an idiot, Pollux," I growl.

Alexios's hands brush my arms, making me jump, but when I look back at him, he doesn't move away, so I guess one hundred percent of my anxieties are preoccupied at the moment. He murmurs, "Snowflake…it's okay. Pollux doesn't know what you do or don't already know. He's just focusing on keeping Ash safe."

I am too mad at Alexios right now to care about his good reasoning, so I jerk my arms out of his hands and step squarely away to address Pollux again. "You don't seem overly concerned."

"About Ash being sick?" Pollux mumbles. "I'm not. About Ash existing…" The dream eater's dark red-and-black eyes narrow. "That's a different story."

"Maybe you and Castor need to have a good grown-up discussion about your feelings," I quip.

Pollux arches a brow. "Spoken as though we haven't?"

Alexios murmurs, "Now, likewise, Zahra doesn't know what you have or haven't done, but she's—"

I whirl, stabbing my finger into Alexios's waistcoat. " Stop mediating! In fact, just— go away ." My voice breaks on the words, and I watch Alexios's weariness shift into confusion, then hurt.

His emotions harden after a moment, and he turns his face from me as he slips his hands into his pockets. "I can't very well leave you to manage this breach of security on your own." Lethal, his gaze cuts toward Pollux. "I must secure a promise that the information about Ash's existence remains confidential."

"You should really tell Cael about this," Pollux grunts.

"That is the opposite of what I just said, isn't it?"

Eyes rolling, Pollux says, "Not quite, which is why you had to phrase that as a question."

Alexios extends a hand past me, fingers open. "Promise."

"No. This is information Cael needs to have. An ent is no weak unseelie. The manipulation of a dryad's sapling is not a small crime." His nostrils flare, and despite the fact I know Pollux has a charm on him to mitigate the fear-soaked presence of a dream eater, a shudder rolls through me. "That you had a hand in the manipulation baffles me thoroughly. I warned you about Castor the day we met."

"What do you think introduced us?"

Suddenly, I get the feeling I'm the one imposing on the conversation. Chest tight, I harden myself against the torrential emotions and open my arms. "Pollux." My voice wavers, and my heart lunges when only his eyes cut to me. "My baby?"

Whatever he sees in my glassing expression gets through to him well enough that he delivers Ash into my arms. My little boy feels so limp, and my panic doesn't settle as I press the cool backs of my fingers against his cheek.

"All will be well, dear," Pollux murmurs. "Illness builds immunity."

"He's only a few months old, though. Barely ten pounds," I whisper. "It's my fault. I took him with me to the store yesterday. What if he—"

Pollux's hand lands on my head. "Shh, Ash isn't human. Only miracles bring fae into life like his. There is no chance his will to live is so feeble that anything would take it from him so quickly." His hand slips away, and the tension returns as he fixes his narrowed eyes on Alexios once more. "I must report this to Cael."

"You must not."

"For everyone's safety, Cael needs to know what is being harbored in his kingdom."

"For your family's safety, I suggest you keep it to yourself."

My heart trips, and I find myself backing away as waves of power pound into the space between Alexios and Pollux.

Alexios doesn't so much as flinch, going so far as to look bored.

An inch away, Pollux growls, "Are you threatening my family, Xios?"

"Whether you see it or not, you threatened mine first. I am pledged to Cael as a member of his eclipse, so nothing I've done goes against his laws. Introducing this situation before its time will not be favorable for anyone." Alexios glowers up at his adoptive father. " But I can promise it will be least favorable for those you care about."

A scream catches in my throat when Pollux's hand wraps around Alexios's neck.

In my arms, Ash wakes with a string of pitiful cries.

Thoroughly disinterested, Alexios drones, "Squeeze, Polly . Make my day."

One by one, Pollux's fingers unlatch to reclose, cracking, as he puts his fist firmly at his side.

Alexios straightens his collar, murmuring, "I always knew Meda was your favorite, but it is nice to know you would still mourn my death."

"I would treat her no differently in this situation, Xios. You are toying with things you don't understand."

"Am I?" Alexios's stormy eyes search Pollux's for long moments. Then his tone softens. "You know what I am, Pollux. Are you sure you aren't the one missing pieces?"

A stiff breath fills Pollux's chest. "Castor took my wife and my daughter. Were Pila anyone else, he may have killed her."

Alexios looks down, letting a small smile lift his lips. "That's another thing you're wrong about, Pollux… When it comes to murder, Castor isn't blameless, to be sure, but his house of statues is not a house of death. Still souls don't long for nothingness; they already have it. They don't harbor malice or chaos or brokenness; they are at peace. And they certainly are well beyond fear."

Blood rushes from Pollux's face as he steps back. "What…are you saying?"

"Castor's stone victims are suspended in time, not dead. He is not an agent of death. He is an agent of peaceful nothingness. I feel what none of you can, so one might speculate that you are the ones reacting to things you do not fully understand."

Pollux's fist loosens. "You…believe there is hope for him?"

"I believe he is much more than what you have seen him be. I also believe that isolation can alter one's character with some significance. He is a weeping soul, Pollux. Let's not pretend I am anything but the tears of another's."

Pollux's ink-painted eyes shift toward me, take in Ash, and close. Sighing, he cracks his neck and mutters, "I shall hesitate for now."

"I appreciate your discretion."

In one step, Pollux stands before me, grumbling, "Would you feel more comfortable if I ran a swab today?"

Heavy, my head nods.

"Allow me to get what I need…" With that, Pollux strides toward my closet, opens the door, and vanishes from view.

I stand, blinking at where a hulking mass of a man used to be. "Wha…"

Yawning and losing all his hubris, Alexios sleepily pouts my way. "Dream eaters have special access to paths that appear beneath beds and in closets. No doubt when you are fully fae, Meda will take you through them."

I keep forgetting that all the cool things I see the faeries around me do are technically possible for me to do, too. I just need to befriend a story faerie first. Which means I need to find a story faerie first. At least I've decided I'll open that conversation up with Hi, I want to be the best version of myself and also bear false witness, what do you say? Help a sister out?

Alexios asks, "Do we need to talk about something before Pollux gets back?"

I recall that I am mad at him. But, after the altercation I just witnessed, I think I don't exactly have a right to be.

There's a good reason Alexios wasn't jumping on telling me about Ash, knowing our only option would be to involve Pollux.

Closing my eyes, I manage a deep breath, and remind myself that I want so badly to live in accordance with Christ's character. Which means exhibiting grace, mercy, and understanding.

When I've remembered that Alexios cares about Ash, too, and would do nothing to harm him, I assess that my nerves are neither his fault nor his responsibility. He sat up all night with Ash, cleaning snot and making sure my little baby could breathe. All while he no doubt wrestled with the repercussions of asking Pollux for help.

While he was tormented and exhausted, I yelled at him instead of offering support. Instead of offering kindness and the opportunity to stand together, I was selfish.

And he's…still being selfless.

Even in spite of how I've acted.

Alexios winces, making his way to me and pulling his hands from his pockets. "Hey…come now, angel…there's no need to cry."

I sniffle. "Y-yes, there is. I'm—" I swallow, hard, and cling to my baby. "—I'm going through a lot of emotions right now."

He cups my cheek, letting my uncalled-for tears soak into his glove. "I know."

"And that's why you're so nice . You know I'm a mess inside. The thing is, I don't think I could be so considerate even if I knew. You're just a genuinely good person, aren't you?"

"Without any insight into what I might be feeling, you just came around on your own…so I'm inclined to believe that access to the perception I possess would turn you into a literal saint."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'd diagnose everyone I come across. I'd keep business cards for therapists I don't even know in my back pocket and pass them out like literature."

Alexios lets an amused, patronizing smile soften his lips. "The most unbelievable part about that ramble is an idea that you wouldn't personally know someone."

"Watch it, closet extrovert. I know your dark, socialization secrets." My eyes narrow into judgy slits. "You make friends with everyone , even evil princes."

He chuckles, dryly, leaning much too close for my heart to maintain a comfortable rhythm. "Oh, snowflake. Is this not an appropriate time to say pot, meet kettle ?"

Before I can hope to respond, Pollux reappears on the other side of my room with latex gloves and some other equipment, looks between us, and arches a brow.

Assuming his expression translates to do you both need a moment , I separate myself from Alexios with an expression that, hopefully, responds absolutely not .