Chapter 31

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Therapy buffet.

"Am I being tortured?" Alexios asks.

"No?" With my arms around my baby sleeping in his wrap, I tilt my head. "Why would you ask that?"

He scans my kitchen table, and the island counter, and every other visible service. They are all covered in tiny paper plates. I bought them in bulk. At Costco. Then I went to Walmart and bought the opposite of bulk. Of roughly five hundred different things.

Alexios's eyes narrow. "I'm asking on account of this being what I picture my nightmares to look like."

I smile. "I'd be in your nightmares?"

"You live in my veins. No segment of my subconscious could escape your presence."

"Somebody call Hallmark. Put that on a greeting card." Pulling out a chair, I settle into a seat. "I got your food records from Pollux."

Alexios's expression crumples with disgust. "That's a HIPPA violation."

"Faeries don't have HIPPA."

"How would you know?"

"Because when I visited Pollux, I said, ‘I know it's a HIPPA violation to ask for someone's medical records, but assuming Xios is my married spouse and I have health care decision making authority…I should be allowed to access your chart of my husband's food restrictions.'"

Alexios deflates. Like a sad balloon. "And he looked at you like he had no idea what you were talking about?"

I kiss my little boy's curly head. "And his face scrunched up before he said, in the most oblivious grumpy man tone ever, ‘What do hippos have to do with Xios's food spreadsheet? I thought you'd be by a lot sooner.'" It was adorable, honestly. Kassandra has an excellent soulmate. Beaming, I say, "In other news, I noticed hippos weren't on your no list already, so I made some. Along with alligator and snake. Do you think maybe you haven't branched out into enough meats?"

Poor, poor Alexios bestows a pitiful look of sheer turmoil upon me. "You might be a sick, sick woman, Zahra."

"Gratitude. I know."

After all, here I am, on a perfectly grand Tuesday, worried sick. Since agreeing to the deal with Castor yesterday, I've torn pages out of Ollie's book in an effort to maintain my sanity.

Stress cooking.

It has a kick to it.

I think the worst part about the agreement yesterday—beyond having made it at all and trusting Castor around any of my emotions—is that the payoff will take weeks. Anything could happen in a singular seven-day period, never mind multiple.

Why couldn't magic have been effortless finger snaps?

Why does it have to be at all a realistic, difficult, or delicate process to tamper with the unseen elements of nature?

How dreadfully upsetting.

"The sooner you start, the sooner you'll finish," I say to Alexios, because for some reason bullying him makes me feel better.

A mix of horror and dread gleams in his eyes, which he fixes on me, despondent-like. "I… You intend for me to finish all of this?"

"Absolutely." Not even remotely. I am literally distracting myself from my worries by tormenting my soulmate.

God is not proud of me. Not at all. He's probably shaking His head at His petulant daughter, who happens to be using her husband's disabilities to tease him. God is saying, How dare you do this, My child. I told you to be the salt of the earth, not the scum of it.

And to that I say, Sir, Your child struggleth. Allow her meager delusions today.

In a miraculous turn of brain damage, I bat my lashes. "We can playfully banter-flirt with every bite."

"Heinous nixie," Alexios murmurs. "Mayhaps the spirit of your origin was misguided. Hath ye, as a true descendant of the stars, brought me to a precipice, overlooking an ocean of distress, and intendest that I drown?"

"Okay, why is the playful banter leaning into Shakespeare's era? I'm not mentally in the zone to respond with Early Modern English."

"Pox," he snips, pouting cutely.

"My, Xios, your jutted lower lip looks almost kissable." I scoot a plate with an assortment of nuts his chart says he hasn't tried before his way. "Start chewing."

He selects a macadamia, with such marvelous disdain. "I would so rather sample you, my love."

My heart hits my ribs. "Whoa, slow down. You just went from zero to eighty in negative point two seconds."

"As I suffer, so shall you. Find yourself bombarded with my affection this day." He inspects the nut, finally trying it. He chews for a long while, per usual, then he arches a brow. "That was…not terrible."

"Really?"

"Truly."

"Really, really, truly?" I get so excited, Ash might experience heartbeat dubstep while he sleeps. "We can already add something to your list of safe foods? This is going splendidly! Do it again."

"I fail to see why my liquid diet with the notable exception of figs and cashews is no longer sufficient. I've been branching out. Into two kinds of smoothies. I'm doing so well."

"Sweetheart, putting your meals through a cheese cloth is not entirely what I would consider doing well . You deserve access to more nutrition options. Let's find them together."

He, reluctantly, obliges my whims.

After seventeen gags, several vomits, and a few attempts at coercion, Alexios rests draped across the back of the kitchen chair, head thrust dramatically away from me. "Despicable creature," he whispers, "why must my heart long for you?"

"Xios, you've already added three new safe foods to your list. This is cause for celebration! Not looking half-dead!" I am a monster. I should not be enjoying this so much. He just says the funniest things.

His pupils drag across his sclera to me. "Three. But at what cost?"

"My respect."

He quips, " Sadist ."

Possibly. "I'm joking. I still respect you. Maybe even more. I'm proud of you for putting up with this. I'm so excited that it's actually working and we're finding more things you can eat."

He glares at me, stormy eyes dredging into my soul. After a moment, he closes them with a sigh. "You are swiftly bestowing a praise kink upon me. What a tragedy." He rubs the back of his neck and faces squarely away from me once more. "I had so enjoyed the humor of being a creature formed through trauma without any of his own."

"Trauma makes you funny. You're welcome."

His lip curls. "I am already hilarious."

I hide my laugh with a cough and snuggle Ash. "I might good boy you if you get through a few more plates."

He swears, "—woman. Screw you."

I cover Ash's ears. "Language."

He says something in Japanese.

"Are you teaching my son how to swear in bilingual ?"

"Japanese doesn't have any specific curse words. It's all about tone. And… creativity ."

"So you're teaching my son to be creative? That's okay then."

" Our son," he corrects.

"Absolutely not. Next plate."

Alexios sniffs, lifting his chin to glower at me. In a perfect customer service robot tone, he says, "We're sorry. Your request is strictly included in our father of my child package. Consider upgrading to proceed."

After enacting the paywall, he crosses his arms.

"Who gave you the right to manipulate me like this?" I ask.

"I figured if we're being toxic today, it was only fair."

"Toxic? Where am I being toxic in having lovingly prepared dozens of different things for you to try in order to expand your horizons?"

"And now you're gaslighting me?"

I sigh, dramatically —you know, since we're being dramatic and all. "I guess you don't want to be a good boy…"

"Oh, do continue teaching me that affection from you comes at a price. I'm almost certain that won't have any long-lasting side effects, aren't you?"

I pat his shoulder and smile. "It will be nice for you to visit your Papa Pollux now and again. So what if it's for therapy sessions? Alana and Willow highly recommend him. I've even been considering it myself. Who knows? Maybe it's a Villain Protection Program thing. We bond over imposing therapy sessions upon the resident grumpy dad."

Alexios's gaze slashes toward my touch, and he mutters, "I'd bite you, but my jaw already hurts from so much chewing."

"Maybe you shouldn't chew every bite three hundred times."

"And feel disgraceful chunks of partially-mutilated food scrape down my esophagus? Do aspire to possess greater sense."

This time, I can't hide my laugh behind a cough quick enough. Slapping my palm to my mouth, I rumble, sputtering, "I'm so sorry. All my aspirations are stupid as a rule."

He puffs a laugh, lets his head drop, and shakes it as he dissolves into chuckles. "Are we going mad, snowflake?"

"What clued you in?"

"In general, everything." Sighing, he reaches for a dish containing three bites of a cottage cheese, spinach casserole and begins his extensive inspection. "Are there onions in this?"

"Normally, but I swapped them for onion powder instead. Want me to heat it up for you in the microwave?"

"I can prepare my own doom." He scoots out his chair and imprisons the plate in the microwave for a handful of seconds that he spends surveying the selection of plates on the other counters. "I don't believe Kass should ever close school for the summer. You are dangerous with free time on your hands."

"Most women are, if I'm being honest."

"I do not doubt it." Retrieving the cottage cheese loaf, he returns to his seat, frees a sigh, lifts his fork, stares pitifully. "Lie to me. Did you make this with love?"

"No."

His gaze flicks up, meeting mine. "You…heard the entirety of what I said, right?"

"Yep. God says to love everyone, even your enemies, and I have come to consider you a friend, so don't treat it like some kind of revelation that I made your food with love. I did not make anything with romance ."

"Yes, well, I do believe I prefer love to romance ." Red highlights his pale cheeks, and he slips his braid over his shoulder to toy with the tail while he takes a bite of the casserole. Moments pass before he swallows, then he takes another bite.

Breath bated, I watch him as realization falls across his expression.

He looks down at the final bite on his plate, then he looks at me. His lips part, but no sound escapes.

"You like it?" I ask.

"I…" He blinks, and his eyes glisten. "Yes." His throat bobs. "I…I like it. It's…not bad. Good. It's good." Setting his fork down, he weaves his fingers into his hair and tempers his breaths.

"Hey…" I coax, stilling when a tear lands on the paper plate beside the last bite.

"I like it," he whispers. Trembling. "I like an entire concoction, not a singular tolerable ingredient."

I watch him for several long moments, feeling the weight of Ash's breaths against my chest. My heart pounds, hammering, as someone who has become very important to me over the past few months crumples.

Steeling myself, I stand and begin gathering up the remaining paper plates to put away.

Alexios sniffles. "What are you doing?"

I look at him, as I pop an apricot slice in my mouth. "I'm making a full serving." I grin. "We're going to eat a whole meal together, Xios. And, later, we'll find more. Then you'll bulk up like no tomorrow with the help of your protein shakes, and I'll get to see what a body builder tiny bat looks like."

He frees a wet laugh. "Is that what you fantasize about?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Eyes weepy, he murmurs, "You and your lies."

"How offensive a thing to accuse me of insincerity on. Check my search history. It's just pages and pages of buff bats . Promise."

Shaking his head, he scoops up the last bite and wets his lips before finishing it. Afterward, he meets me in the kitchen to help clean up. "You know…there is one type of faerie immune to the rules of tongue."

"Oh?" I offer, aimlessly, as I begin mixing the remaining ingredients needed to make a full batch of my cottage cheese loaf.

"Given your powers, if you befriend one and enact a contract with them, you would be able to retain your…unique sense of humor. Even with fully fae blood."

I freeze.

The rest of the cottage cheese container gloops into my mixing bowl. "Really?"

His nose scrunches in response to the sound, but he merely arches a brow and steps back. "Yes. I've never met one of these faeries before. They are increasingly rare and exponentially powerful. Unlike vampires who can sometimes speak truths into existence using their hypnotic voices, a story faerie isn't bound by any restriction or retribution. They weave their magic out of imagination and control an infinite number of possibilities, so who's to say what is or is not true within the realm of their mind?"

That is…so cool.

"Xios."

"Hm?"

"How do we go about hunting down and befriending a story faerie as though we don't have ulterior motives?"

He lifts his attention skyward. "I'm not certain… Maybe we could get a large box, and stack books inside it before letting it rest precariously atop a stick that will knock over whenever said books are—" His eye catches mine while he's explaining the cheapest trap in cartoon history to me with his hands. He pockets them. "You're looking at me like that. But it is not entirely unlikely to work. The story fae are notorious for living and breathing their works. Legends say they are capable of rewriting history…however, who can trust such a thing when they most definitely wrote the legends?"

"I would trust your fae knowledge, but, see, you're just a baby." I kiss Ash's little head again. "It's hard being a single mom who works two jobs and who has two bouncing baby boys."

"Ash is too young to bounce." Alexios blinks. "Since when do I bounce?"

Dipping my face, I add my onion and garlic powder while I whisper to Ash, "Notice how he didn't deny being a baby ? Only bouncing ?" I cut my gaze toward Alexios. "How revealing."

"Wait, wait, wait." Alexios bristles. "Don't twist this like that."

"You also didn't deny being a boy, so I am inclined to believe you did indeed choose the single point you considered incorrect." I am too happy right now, in spite of everything. Ollie is a mad genius. Stress cooking works wonders. "It's so fun when the faerie age gap goes in the other direction. What absolute bliss."

"Age gap is a romance trope. Are you accepting that we are romantically inclined?"

I dump the complete mixture into a casserole dish. "Who gave you permission to twist my words?" Shoving the dish in the oven, I turn on Alexios and cross my arms around my baby. "Also, of course we're romantically inclined , you ding-dong. You literally married me."

"This one-sided marriage does not a romance make." He crosses his arms as well, mirroring.

Great.

We're having a standoff in the kitchen, mere feet apart, with an infant sleeping between us.

"I tie your bunny-eared PJs into a bow sometimes. What's more romantic than that?"

He leans forward, hovering. "Giving me your soul. Letting me make you fully fae. Providing me access to your thoughts. Handing me the playground that is your emotions."

Face inches from his, I murmur, "You're not old enough for a playground, Xios. You're barely walking. Why, you aren't even old enough to talk, so I simply can't understand you, actually."

"Diabolical mistress." His words drag a fingertip of heat down my spine.

"When in the world did you master compliments?"

His shoulders lift as his eyes lower, grazing my lips. Thoughts seemingly distant, he says, "Who knows?"

I swallow.

He lets his eyes close and stops leaning dangerously near.

"Did I just…"

"Give off a whiff of nerves? Yes."

My stomach sinks. "Xios, not that I'm interested in kissing you or anything, but have you soft-locked yourself by promising not to neglect consent at both a verbal and physical level? After what happened, how do we know I'll ever be okay with anything if I don't push myself through the fear first and learn you're safe to go farther than hugs with?"

Extending his hand, he doesn't say a word.

I look at it. Then at his face. Slowly, I set my hand in his, feeling the magic of his glove evaporate around my fingers. The sensation is wholly addictive, sending a shiver through me as we touch, skin to skin.

He smiles. "Like that."

I jerk myself from the daze. "Huh? What did I miss? Like what?"

"You, angel, can push yourself through the fear and kiss me . I will never regret giving you back the control that was taken away. Even if you never want to make the first move and are never comfortable enough to let me, this level of control has always belonged to you." With care I've never seen another living being possess, Alexios presses a kiss to my knuckles and cements his attention on me. "Loving you means creating an environment where you never have to question your safety. It is entirely that simple."

The solid beat in my chest fumbles.

I grip his hand tight. "Xios?"

His head angles slightly.

"Can…I trust you?"

"Yes."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise you can trust me, Zahra."

I take a step forward, brace my free hand against my Ash's little head, and kiss Alexios's cheek. Then, I whisper, "Thank you."