Chapter 26

26

JODI

W hen I was trying to prepare myself to tell Derek about the baby, I tried not to let myself conjure up any scenarios for what he was going to say or how he was going to react. I hoped it went well, of course. I didn’t want him to blow up or throw me out or completely melt down. But I also didn’t want to build myself up with all kinds of ideas of how it might go.

It felt like if I did that, I was only building myself up for more stress and anxiety, and possibly to be let down and hurt. So, I just hoped for the best and went for it.

If I had let myself come up with ideas of how he might react, I probably couldn’t have imagined a situation as good as what actually happened. Maybe I would have thought he would be okay with it. Or at least he would be open to eventually being okay with it. I probably would have envisioned him telling me it was unexpected, but that we were going to be great coparents.

I apparently wasn’t so great at thinking big. Or being optimistic.

But it didn’t matter. I was stunned by his reaction. In the very best way possible. Not only was Derek not angry about the prospect of us having a baby together, but he actually seemed excited about it. Maybe he wasn’t ready to jump up and down and plan a gender reveal party or anything. But he wanted us to be together. He wanted us to be a family and to raise our little one.

There had been barely a second of hesitation. And looking back on it, the reaction when he first saw the pregnancy test in my hand, the positive result fairly obvious even from a distance, wasn’t really hesitation or being upset. It was just pure, unprepared shock.

I couldn’t really blame him for that. I was still in that zone myself. Even though I knew in my heart before I took the test, the confirmation was a dose of reality, and I was still working on wrapping my head around it when I told him.

Now I was still feeling a sense of shock, but for a totally different reason as we headed off to the vineyard together. It was a shock that everything was actually working out for me. That something I was so afraid of, so overwhelmed by, was over, and I not only came out the other side, but smoothly and in the very best way possible.

There were no more questions. No more ambiguity or wondering where I stood with Derek. We weren’t just playing games or pretending to be a couple. We were officially together and planning our lives into the future. It was the most incredible feeling, and I couldn’t wait to share it with everybody, especially Ally.

When we got out of the car at the vineyard, Derek reached down and took my hand. I loved feeling the strength of his hand around mine, feeling somehow powerful and tender at the same time. It was just a small gesture, but it made me feel special and safe. I looked up at him and smiled as we approached the restaurant.

“So, are we really going to do this?” I asked. “You’re sure you don’t want to keep it to ourselves for a little while longer?”

Derek shook his head without hesitation. “Definitely not. I want the whole world to know. That starts with everybody we can find here.”

I laughed, and we went inside. The first person I saw was Ally sitting at one of the tables with a cup of coffee. She glanced up at me, and I grinned at her.

“Guess who is officially together and having a baby?” I asked.

Ally let out a sound that I could only describe as a squeak and stood up but stayed right next to the table. It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from her. I thought she would be instantly thrilled and come running up for a hug. Or at least do some jumping up and down and clapping. Something that wasn’t a squeak and a stare.

Then I realized something else must be going on. She wasn’t just reacting to the news. I looked around, and it only took me a second to figure out what caused that reaction. On the other side of the restaurant, Noah and Zane were sitting at a table. With Jack between them. I was so wrapped up in getting the chance to share our news I hadn’t even noticed he was there.

Now I felt my heart squeeze, my stomach drop, and tears come to my eyes. I was overcome with a strange blend of emotion, something that mixed my happiness with fear, sadness, excitement, and emptiness. I realized I had really missed my twin, even with what he had done, and was happy to see him at the same time as being nervous and even afraid.

Maybe we had more of a connection than I had wanted to admit.

Beside me, Derek moved closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and holding me tight against him. It reminded me of the high stakes of the moment, what I might have lost if my family got its way. I lifted my chin defiantly and stared directly into the eyes of my twin brother.

“I’m not going home,” I said.

A few tense seconds passed. I didn’t know what was going to happen. It could go badly. For all I knew, Jack could fly off the handle and erupt after hearing I was not only in a relationship, but pregnant. He could lash out, and I didn’t want to see what could happen between him and Derek. Add in Derek’s brothers and it could get really nasty.

Jack stood, and I braced myself. But there was no anger in his face. He didn’t go for Derek or walk out of the room. Instead, he rushed toward me, his arms thrown open. I was wrapped up in them, being squeezed lightly against him before I could say anything.

It was a day of being shocked, but this was the peak. My brother wasn’t infuriated or trying to drag me out of the restaurant and get me back to Rhode Island. He was hugging me tightly and sounded like he was laughing under his breath.

When we pulled back, I noticed Jack’s eyes were teary. He didn’t let me go but held me by my arms and searched my face, looking me up and down like he was checking to make sure I was really alright. Finally, he shook his head.

“Fuck our parents,” he said emphatically.

I broke down at that moment, laughing and crying at the same time. Jack drew me in for another hug, and we swung each other back and forth a little. When we finally let go, Derek pulled me in close to him again, and I rested my head on his chest. I really appreciated his support. Obviously, he didn’t really understand exactly what I was going through. He had no context.

But it didn’t matter. He was right there beside me and was going to do everything he could to protect me. I could feel it in the way he was holding me.

“Should we all sit down and talk?” Ally suggested cautiously.

Jack and I looked at each other and nodded. Derek held my hand as we headed for the table. He pulled a chair out for me and eased me in when I sat down.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Jack. “I thought you were finished working at the vineyard.”

Jack looked at me with a bit of surprise, and I realized he really wasn’t there for me.

“I forgot my laptop in the tasting room and came back for it,” he said.

“You didn’t know I was here?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I really didn’t know. Have you been here the whole time?”

I laughed and nodded, then snuggled further into Derek’s arms. The expression that flickered across Jack’s face said he didn’t miss the affection.