37. Lacey

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

lacey

I pace back and forth across the living room floor. What just happened? I haven't heard from Jacob since Thanksgiving Day when we had our fight about the camper. I'd called him, hoping for a chance to talk, but he hadn't answered. I heard through the grapevine he'd gone camping, but I didn't know he was back in town and definitely didn't expect it to be him on the other side of the door when I opened it.

Jacob came and went in such a rush I didn't even have time to process. George took off after him, and now I'm anxiously awaiting news. Of course this would all happen while Jalynn is gone. George's mom took her out for a relaxing spa day before the baby comes.

The grumble of an engine outside catches my attention. George must be back. I rush over to the window to see what I can figure out from his expression, only it isn't George. It's Jacob. I hurry over to the mirror hanging by the door to check myself over. My hair is a mess, and I don't have any makeup on. I'm wearing sweats and an oversized T-shirt. I realize there's no hope for improving the situation, and only a small part of me cares. Jacob didn't seem to mind when he stopped by a few minutes ago.

The knock on the door scrambles my thoughts. I take a deep breath to hopefully calm my nerves and pull the door open.

"Hi," Jacob says.

"Hi." I lean against the open door for support, my hand still resting on the doorknob.

"Can we talk?"

"I'd like that," I say. "Where's George?"

"He said he'd give us some time to talk before he comes home," Jacob says and closes the door behind him.

He follows me over to the couch. I take a seat in the center and pull a throw pillow onto my lap, hugging it to my chest for moral support. Jacob sits on the ottoman in front of me, his hands resting on my knees.

"I'm sorry," Jacob says. "I'm so sorry. I screwed up, and I don't know what I'll do if I can't fix this. I love you, Lacey. You're all that I want and the only thing that I need."

"Then why did you leave me?" I fight against the tears I can feel surfacing in my eyes.

"I was a coward. You were talking about leaving me, and I was afraid to get in any deeper with us if I was going to lose you. What I went through with Ashley was bad, but I survived. With you, though, you are so much more to me. If you left me?—"

"Then what did it change by you being the one to walk away?"

"In the end? Nothing. I thought it wouldn't hurt as bad if I quit you right then. That's the thing, though, Lace. I was already fully in. I don't know why I thought it would be better to end things like that. It didn't make a difference. I was still alone and still without you. I was...I am miserable without you. I thought I could beat the aching in my chest, but I can't. Every breath I take is just one more breath without the hope of holding you again."

"You're not the only one it hurt, Jacob." A tear spills over my lashes and runs down my cheek. I turn my face away from him, trying to hide the emotions brimming over.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you—" Jacob reaches for me, but I stand and walk away.

"But you did anyway," I say over my shoulder.

"Lacey, I love you." Jacob is standing behind me now. I spin around to face him, but I keep my distance.

"So you keep saying, but what does that change? You love me, but you still walked away." I wrap my arms around myself, hugging myself tightly.

"You were telling me you were going to leave me."

"I told you I might have to leave, yes, but only if I had to. Only if I were left with no other choice. You did have a choice, and you made that choice so quickly. You put the blame on me, but you were the one who walked away, Jacob. I didn't want you to go."

"Please forgive me. I was stupid. I was being rash. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I was wrong." Jacob steps closer.

"And just like that I'm supposed to trust you again? You say those two little words, and I'm supposed to accept it?"

"No. Your trust I'll earn back. You don't have to give that freely," Jacob says, shaking his head. "I'm asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for another chance. I will work for your trust. I will do anything for the chance to fix this between us."

I turn away again, silently debating which choice to make. Do I follow my head, or do I follow my heart?

"Do you love me, Lace?"

"Of course I do," I say, blinking back more tears.

Jacob steps up behind me, lightly resting his hands on my shoulders. His touch sends shivers down my body.

"Then don't make us both suffer any more than we already have. Please."

I turn back to face him. I can see the pain he feels. It's the same pain I feel without him. Slowly, I raise my hand to his cheek and stroke my thumb across his stubble. He grabs my hand in his, pulls it over to his lips, and kisses my palm.

"Please..." Jacob begs, holding my hand in his still.

I let myself go and fall into his arms, pulling him tightly against me.

"I love you. Please don't ever leave me again," I sob into his neck.

"Never, Gypsy. I'll never make that mistake again. I promise."

Jacob runs his fingers through my hair, grabbing a handful, and pulls my mouth to his, consuming me. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck as he lifts me off the ground. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and he carries me back over to the couch where he gently lowers me down, never breaking contact. It's only been days, but it's felt like months without him. His touch sets off fireworks across my skin and into my core. His lips are now on my neck and flitting across my collarbone. My fingers grasp at him, needing him closer. Needing more. Needing all of him.

"What made you decide to come back to me?" I ask, my naked body still tangled with Jacob's as we lie on the couch together. I study our intertwined fingers.

"Kate, at the diner, told me about your dinner with Ben. She said you might be going back to North Carolina. That's when it hit me. I went to your place to try to stop you, but your truck and camper were already gone. I thought you'd left. I've been camping in the canyon since."

"How did you figure out I was here?" I ask.

"I didn't know. I unintentionally went back to your place. I just missed you and needed to be close to you somehow. When I was headed back to town, I noticed George was home, so I stopped to ask him if he'd heard from you. I never dreamed you'd be the one to answer the door."

"I never left," I say. "I tried calling you to tell you I sold the camper. George helped me find a buyer. Jalynn insisted I stay here with them until I can get a more permanent place in town."

"What about Ben?"

"He'd figured out where I was and was waiting for me outside after work. I agreed to go to the diner with him to talk. He swore up and down he'd changed and wanted me to go home with him, but I'm never going back to that. I've already told you that. Whether he's changed or not, too many lines were crossed. I could never go back now, and I don't want him. I want you. I'm done running. This is where I want to be. With you."

"And after everything, he just accepted that?" Jacob asks, bewildered.

"Not exactly," I say, turning my head to look up at him lying next to me. "He acted like he was accepting it. He showed up here later that night, and things got a little dicey."

"What do you mean dicey?"

"He'd been drinking, despite the three months sober he'd claimed just hours earlier. He said he wasn't leaving here without me and pulled a knife on me."

"What the fuck?" Jacob props himself up on his elbow to get a better look at me, his expression stern with anger.

"Yeah. It was just his little pocketknife but still. He had hold of my arm and was trying to pull me toward the door. He didn't even notice Jalynn come around the corner and clobber him right in the face with a frying pan." I chuckle, remembering the scene. "That left him stunned. George showed up and handled Ben while Jalynn got the police out here to fetch him. I had to call out of work so I could go give the police my statement. Also, I hired an attorney and filed a restraining order. I've decided to press charges against him. I didn't deserve the things he did to me, and it's time for him to face some consequences. The lawyer thinks I have a good case."

"But you're not hurt? He didn't hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I wish I'd been here to handle him. That would have made my fucking day," Jacob says. He settles back down on the couch and wraps me in his arms. I raise my chin up and kiss him, holding him close.

"It all turned out okay," I say. "I don't think we'll have to worry about him anymore."

Monday morning I'm back at work with Maddie. It's starting off to be a pretty quiet morning, but I don't mind. I write up the special on the chalkboard sign and set it out on the sidewalk. After watering the greenhouses, I look over the orders that we have for the week, then go to the back of the shop to help Maddie with some bouquets and arrangements that she's busy preparing for a wedding.

"I'm so glad you and Jacob were able to work things out," Maddie says.

"I am, too. You've built a beautiful family, Maddie. I love getting to witness it."

"I'm personally hoping you get to do more than just witness it," Maddie says with a sideways glance while she works. "I'm hoping sooner than later you will get to become part of it officially."

"I can't pretend that I don't like the thought of that, too." I smile to myself, imagining what it would be like being part of their family and starting one of my own with Jacob. "He really is amazing. And he's going to be such a fantastic dad. Is he always as playful with the kids as he was at Thanksgiving?"

"Oh, yes. Jacob loves children. He has always been good with kids, even since he was still a kid himself. You should know he has always promised me a houseful of grandchildren in exchange for extra-large servings of desserts."

"He has mentioned kids a time or two," I confess.

I love the thought of raising a family with Jacob.