14. Jacob

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

jacob

" A shley?" I call out her name down the hallway. "You okay?"

She brought dinner over tonight after I got home from work. I haven't been making as much time for her as she wants. I'm not really avoiding her, but I'm busy. Most nights, I'm exhausted as shit by the time my workday ends.

Not getting a response, I walk down the hallway to check on her. While I was cleaning up after dinner, she went to the bathroom. She's been gone a while. Long enough for me to notice. I reach the bathroom, but the door stands open, and she's not there.

"Ashley?"

I walk into my bedroom, the light from the master bath catching my attention. Splayed out across my bed, I find Ashley in barely there blue lingerie. Nothing much has been left to the imagination with this outfit.

With my hand still on the doorknob, my body stiffens but not in the way she intended. I divert my eyes to the floor. It almost feels as though someone ripped back open the wound she left in my chest.

"Fucking hell," I say under my breath.

"Come here," Ashley's sultry voice calls softly to me from across the room.

"Ashley, this isn't a good idea."

Rather than going to her, I turn and lean my back against the doorframe, looking away from her. I hear slight shuffling on the bed as she rises and comes to me instead. Stepping in front of me, she straddles my legs and presses herself up against me. I refuse to look, despite her hand trying to pull my face toward hers.

"Come on, baby. We need this," Ashley says.

"I'm not ready to have sex with you, Ashley. I'm not there yet."

"I get it," she says, clearly not getting it, "but we need to rip off the Band-Aid. We need to connect again like we used to."

"Put your clothes back on, Ashley. I told you. I'm not ready." I say it more firmly this time, hoping she's listening.

She turns back into the bedroom, so I assume she's done, and I head back out to the living room while she dresses. When she finds her way to me, I think she can tell that I'm done for the night. She heads to the front door, and I follow behind. At the door she turns back to me, pressing a kiss to my lips. I kiss her back, but I don't let myself feel it. I can't. Not until I know that I'm enough to make her stay.

"We're still on for dinner tomorrow, right?" Ashley asks.

"I'll pick you up after work," I say.

Closing the door behind her, I let out the breath I didn't realize I've been holding. I'm not ready to jump back into a physical relationship with her. I turn out the lights and head back to my room to get ready for bed. There's a long day of herd health ahead of me tomorrow, and I need some rest. It's already later than I intended to get to bed tonight. Ashley reminded me, though, that I promised to try with her, and part of trying was seeing each other. She's right. So when she suggested bringing over some dinner, I agreed.

I'm trying to forgive her for her infidelity, but if we're being honest, I'm still brimming with resentment. I thought maybe if I started dating her again, the dam would finally burst, and I'd be able to move forward. Instead, it seems like the more time I spend with her, the more irritated I become. Simply put, it isn't going well. I want it to work with her, though, and I'm not ready to totally give up on the life we planned out for us. It's just not going to work if I can't get my head back in it.

My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I slide the phone out of my pocket, checking the caller ID. It's a client.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Doc, this is Diane Sturgill. Epona's been in labor for a while now. It isn't going well. I think we need your help."

"What stage is she?" I ask, pulling my boots back on.

"Still stage one. She's been acting colicky for several hours now, though, and I'm worried something isn't right."

"Can you get her on a trailer to bring her to the office?"

"We're getting her loaded now. Meet you there?"

"Yeah, I'll see you shortly." I grab my keys and wallet and head for the door.

"Thanks, Doc."

I rush to the office and start prepping for Epona's arrival. Once the lights are on and I have my tools and equipment on standby, I walk out to the unloading area to watch for Diane and her mare.

Diane pulls in, swinging the trailer around close to where I'm standing. Once the truck engine is shut off, I open up the trailer and prepare to unload Epona. Slowly, I walk her off the trailer and lead her to the prepared birthing stall.

"How long ago did her water break?" I ask.

"It must have happened on the way here," Diane replies.

I slide my hand into the mare, feeling for the foal. Epona dances around, trying to free herself of me. I reposition and continue the exam.

"The foal's head is tucked down under the legs. I think if we sedate Epona, I'll be able to get the foal repositioned."

"Will the sedation harm the foal?" Diane asks anxiously.

"No, but the longer it takes us to get the foal out, the lower our chances of delivering it live."

"Okay, let's do it."

I rinse off my hands in a bucket of clean water and begin preparing the medications for sedation. Diane stands at the head of the horse, rubbing Epona's neck and soothing her in a low voice. I approach with a shot prepared in one hand, rubbing down the mare's neck in search of a vein. Finding one, I inject the medication and snap the cap back over the needle, then glance at my watch for the time. I need to have this foal delivered in the next fifteen to twenty minutes or I'm going to have to resort to more intrusive means, like surgery.

A couple of minutes pass, and Epona is showing signs of sedation. I get to work repositioning the foal. Reaching into the mare, I feel around for the foal's head. Finding it tucked downward, I wrap my fingers around the jaw of the foal, pulling and lifting, trying to bring the nose up. With a few more minutes of manipulating the foal's position, I get it in the position it's supposed to be.

"How's it going down there?" Diane asks.

"We're good. I've got the foal in position, and I'm going to start pulling the foal in time with her contractions to help her get started."

With each contraction, I pull the foal's front legs, helping the mare along. Once the foal's front legs and head are protruding, and the foal's ribcage is in the pelvic canal, I wipe the foal's nose and allow Epona to try to finish the job on her own. With a few more pushes, the foal is free.

I immediately step back in, attending to the foal. I check for a heartbeat and listen to the lungs. Passing both of those checks, I take a blood sample from the umbilical cord to have it processed, and I check the foal's ribcage to ensure there aren't any fractures.

"You've got a boy," I announce. "Heart seems to be doing okay. Lungs sound good. Epona's sedation should start wearing off soon."

"Thank you! I was really getting worried for a bit."

"I don't expect us to have any more issues, but I'll keep them here tonight, so I can make sure Epona gets the placenta out and these two start bonding." I stand and wipe at the itch on my cheek with my shoulder.

"Has anyone told you lately how magnificent you are?" Diane asks. "I'd hug you, but...you know," she adds, motioning to all of the birthing fluids covering me.

"Occupational hazard," I say. "Give me a call around eight in the morning, and we can make arrangements for them based on how the rest of the night goes."

I see Diane out, then return to the birthing stall to start cleaning up and to keep an eye on the new mother and baby. I check my watch, noting the time again. I can't wait to get a shower. I love this job, but I don't love smelling like the insides of a horse.

In no time, the placenta passes. I look it over, making sure the entire placenta has been expelled before I dispose of it. So far, so good. Things are progressing nicely now.

I stop and watch the foal for a minute as he tries to stand. His little legs wobble as he works himself up. Once standing, he takes a few shaky steps, then goes back down momentarily. Epona nuzzles him, encouraging him back up on his feet. This time, he makes his way over to her, latching on to nurse. I check the time again. As long as the foal passes the meconium in the next hour or so, we shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Making sure the two are settled, I head into the office to get cleaned up. I start the shower running to warm up while I pull a clean bath towel out of the cupboard. Times like this certainly make it handy having all of the accommodations I do at the office.

Sticking my hand into the spray, I check the temperature of the water again. Satisfied that it won't make me shrivel up, I strip off my clothes and climb in under the warm water. Rubbing the soap over my skin, my mind's no longer on the mare and foal. Instead, thoughts of dinner the other night at George's fill my head. Ashley did what she usually does so well and caused another scene. It's embarrassing the way she treats my friends. Lacey, though. She handled Ashley's jabs with grace.

The weak stream of water from the showerhead finally rinses the soap off my body, and I shut the water off. My towel hangs on the hook next to the shower, ready for me, and I wipe away the droplets of water clinging to my skin. Satisfied, I wrap the towel around my waist and head to the back room where I keep extra changes of clothes. I throw on a new pair of jeans and a T-shirt and pull my boots back on so I can check on Epona and her baby again.

The pair look good together. Epona keeps a close eye on her foal as he trots around the stall, testing out his legs some more. Everything still looks good, so I head back into the office and lie down on the couch to get some rest. I'll check on the horses again in a while, but right now, I need some fucking sleep. A yawn escapes me as I stretch out, settling into the couch.

Ashley in her barely there lingerie comes back into my mind. Maybe she's right. Maybe we do just need to rip off the Band-Aid and try. We aren't connecting. Not like we used to. Truthfully, Ashley was always high maintenance, and she never had any trouble being a bitch to people. The difference is she wasn't a bitch to people who mattered. She tried like hell to win over my mother and Mia. She was constantly on eggshells around them, which probably didn't help her cause any. Mia always thought Ashley was hiding something.

Ashley never was one to wear her heart on her sleeve. She was raised by a father who valued people for their tax statements rather than their character, and it was no different for his daughter. He expected her to succeed. There was no other option.

She always showed up for me when it counted, though. Like the time on George's ranch when I decided to relive my glory days as a bull rider on a rank bastard George had just got in. That bull got a pretty good piece of me before the boys managed to pull me out, and Ashley was left to put the pieces back together. Okay, the doctor put the pieces back together, but Ashley stuck by my side and took care of me till I recovered, and it wasn't a glamorous job.

The way Ashley took control of situations was a turn on at the beginning. I loved the way she took charge and made things happen. Lately, though, it feels more like she steamrolls everything to get her way. I may never understand why she decided to run around on me, but I don't guess that part's too important for me to figure out. The part I need to figure out is if I can give her a fair chance to redeem herself.