10. Lacey

CHAPTER TEN

lacey

W hen I walk back into the shop looking like I've just competed in a wet T-shirt contest, Maddie gives me the rest of the afternoon off. I head straight to Jalynn's house, hoping she's home. Thankfully, her car is sitting in the driveway when I pull in.

I knock on her door and wait. Letting only a short moment pass, I knock again, harder this time. Jalynn hollers through the house that she's on her way, and I stand on the porch, soaked and flustered, when her door finally swings open.

"What is going on?" Jalynn asks. Concern is etched on her face. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Can we talk?" I bite my lip.

"Yeah, of course. Come on in here. Let's get you changed out of those wet clothes and into something comfortable."

Jalynn motions me into the house and leads me straight to her closet for a change of clothes. She offers me a few different options, and I choose a pair of sweats and a T-shirt.

After the wardrobe change, Jalynn pours us both a glass of sweet tea, and I take a seat on the living room couch next to her. She looks at me expectantly, and I let the floodgates open. I tell her about Jacob coming by the shop to take the shipment of flowers to Bozeman. I try to explain the indescribable urge to be near him and the incident in the greenhouse. Jalynn sits quietly, for once, and listens.

"I don't understand what happened," I say, hugging a pillow to my chest. "He comes around, and I lose it. You'd think I'd never met an attractive guy. But it's more than me wanting to jump his bones. It's like I can sense him before I see him. I can feel him looking at me. I don't know him, but it's as though I've always known him."

"Bless your heart, Lacey. You sound like you're in love with him."

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoff. "I don't know him. Also, he's trying to work things out with his ex, from the sounds of it. I don't want to get in the middle of anyone else's drama. I've had plenty of my own."

"Oh no. I sure hope he doesn't get back with her." Jalynn rolls her eyes. "I can't stand the girl."

"I don't know the details," I say. "He just said they've been talking about it. And then there's Caleb..."

"Oh, yes!" Jalynn claps excitedly. "Tell me what's going on with Caleb."

"Nothing much. We've been texting back and forth. He's been flirty and has asked me out a couple times." I take a sip of my tea and set the glass back down on the coffee table.

"Wait, you went out with him and didn't tell me about it?"

"I turned him down."

"No, you didn't..." Jalynn says, leaning slightly forward in her seat.

"But I did," I say with a sigh.

"Why? I thought you liked him."

"I don't know. I do like him. He's incredibly handsome and sweet. This is just so hard. I don't know what to do." I rest my chin on the pillow still snuggled to my chest.

"Do you want to go out with him?" Jalynn asks.

"Yes. But no. I don't know. I'm just barely getting comfortable with texting him." I pull my feet up, crossing my legs in front of me.

"So what exactly did you tell him when he asked you out?"

A blush spreads to my cheeks, and I bite at my lip, remembering the conversation from the last time he asked to take me on a date.

"I told him I needed two to three weeks' notice," I blurt out and pull a throw pillow up over my face. Jalynn erupts with laughter, nearly rolling out of her seat. I can't help laughing along with her.

"Good heavens, Lacey, I'm gonna pee myself!" Jalynn squeals as her laughter begins to calm. "Are you a potential date or an employer?"

"I know! I don't know why I said that. I just got all nervous, and that's what came out," I say, still lightly bubbling with giggles. "See? I'm not cut out for this. I should just give up on a happily ever after and accept my fate of becoming an old cat lady." I grab my sweet tea for another sip.

"Lacey, honey, obviously you need to do what feels right to you, but for what it's worth, I think Caleb would be good for you. If you want to go after that, don't overthink it. Let yourself be happy. I have no doubt he's one that would treat you right."

"And he's such a good guy. I'm having fun talking to him. He's good for me. I just need to steer clear of Jacob and let the air clear for a bit, right?"

"I agree," Jalynn says. "Jacob's great, don't get me wrong, but if you ask me, the last thing you need right now is to get involved in a messy love triangle. Caleb is an excellent choice, and if he makes you happy, you should hold on to that." Jalynn reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Whatever you decide, though, I've got your back."

I don't know what I'd do without this girl. I finish off my glass of tea, slouch down on the couch, and rest my head on her shoulder.

"You're gonna be one hell of a mom," I say.

"Hello?" I answer my ringing phone while I'm getting ready for bed on Friday night after an evening of games at Jalynn's.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you up to?" Caleb asks.

"Well, I was just sittin' here thinkin' 'bout you..." I say, throwing the twang in my voice on extra thick.

"I like the sound of that. I have a question for you."

"What's up?" I ask, though I'm pretty sure I know where he is headed.

"I know I'm short on giving you notice, but I want to see you this weekend. Are you free?" Caleb asks.

"Hmmm." I draw out giving him an answer, teasing him a bit. I've already decided, after my conversation with Jalynn and much internal debate, that if he asked me out again, I'd accept. "I think I can squeeze you in."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow around eleven. Does that work for you?"

"That's perfect."

The following morning, I step out of the shower, wrap a towel tightly around my body, pile my wet hair up on my head, and lather my moisturizer on my face and neck. I grab my phone and turn on my playlist while I do my makeup and hair.

I'm trying to let myself be excited for my date with Caleb. Talking to him has been a highlight for me, and I had a blast playing croquet at the barbecue with him. Something about Caleb puts me at ease. I'm not sure if I'm more nervous about the possibility of him turning out to be something different than he seems or the potential he has to be something great. Regardless, I hope I can put Ben behind me and give Caleb a chance.

After deciding on a jean skirt hitting about midthigh and a feminine V-neck blouse, I slide into my boots. Footsteps on the porch catch my attention. I scramble to finish gathering myself as a couple of knocks sound on the door.

"Just a second!" I call out, taking one last look at myself in the mirror.

I run my fingers through my curls, loosening them into semicontrolled waves, and spritz myself with perfume. I slide my cell phone into my purse and lift the strap over my head, across my body. Doubt begins to overtake me as I approach the door. Am I rushing this? Will Caleb actually be any different than Ben? Despite my concerns, I push forward, determined to overcome the fear. When I open the camper door, Caleb is smiling on the other side. Just like that, the doubts and fear begin to melt away. How does he do that?

"I thought about bringing you flowers, but knowing that you work at a floral shop, I didn't know if that would be a good thing or not," Caleb confesses. "So I brought you chocolates instead."

He pulls a box of chocolates out from behind his back and holds them out to me.

"Thank you. Aren't you just sweet as pie? I've actually never been given flowers, either," I admit. I set the box of chocolates on the counter and shut the door behind me.

"I'll keep that in mind. So this is where you live, huh?" Caleb looks around while I lock the door.

"Yep. It's pretty peaceful."

"Looks like a nice little setup. You don't get nervous being out here all alone, though?" he asks, returning his gaze to me.

"I mean, it would certainly be nice to have a brave, strapping man I could call on if I got scared," I tease, trying to maintain a timid expression.

"Yeah?" Caleb asks, instantly seeing my performance for what it is. "I might know someone like that you could call."

"You do?" I look up at him eagerly, fighting the grin that's trying to break free.

"Yeah. I'm pretty brave. And I have the strapping part mostly down, too," Caleb says with a showy flex of his arms.

"My hero!" I say, clasping my hands over my chest.

"Get out of here!" Caleb chuckles and ushers me toward his truck.

He throws an arm around my shoulders, leads me over to the passenger side of his pickup, and opens the door for me to climb in. I look at the floorboard of the truck, down at my skirt, then up at Caleb. The floorboard is nearly hip-high on me with no running board to step up on.

"This could be a problem," I say, laughing. "Maybe I should go inside and change into pants."

"Hmmm...a bit of a leap for you, huh? That's okay. I think we can manage." Caleb wraps his massive hands around my waist and lifts me into the truck.

"Thanks," I say, adjusting myself in the seat. As Caleb hops in, now on the driver's side of the truck, I ask, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Caleb says with his typical grin. He backs out of the driveway.

"No, Caleb," I say, resting my hand over his on the gear shifter before he can move the transmission into gear, "I want to know where we're going."

Caleb pauses, looking over at me with an expression I can't read. My heart starts to pound in my chest, and suddenly, I wonder if it was a good idea to agree to this.

"I want to show you the scenery on our way up to this little lake I know about. Honestly, it's so small it's almost more of a giant pond, but people go up there to picnic and swim and stuff like that. Our lunch is in the basket in the back. But if you aren't comfortable with that, we can do something else," Caleb says in a gentle voice.

"No, sorry," I say, withdrawing my hand from his again. I shake my head, focusing my eyes on my lap. "A lakeside picnic sounds fun. I'd love that." I look back up at him and force a smile.

"Are you sure? Seriously, Lacey, if it makes you uncomfortable?—"

"No, please. I want to go."

Caleb nods silently and shifts the truck into gear, and we head down the road further away from town. I control the radio on our drive to the lake, flipping through the stations between songs and rocking out to my favorites, the music soothing the nervous butterflies in my stomach. Caleb was right about it being a beautiful drive. Montana is a lot different from what I'm accustomed to but just as gorgeous as home. Instead of roads winding along the tree-covered Appalachians, the terrain is an open expanse of landscape, surrounded by formidable, bare Rockies.

We arrive at the lake, and I make a mental note of the other vehicles already here and remind myself that, though I haven't spent much time with Caleb, Jalynn and George know him well. When Caleb hops down out of the truck, I scoot over into the driver's seat. Caleb reaches up for me, grinning, and lifts me down, the muscles in his shoulders working under my hands as he lowers me to the ground.

I love his smile. I don't think anyone could be sad with Caleb around. He exudes happiness. Caleb grabs the basket out of the back of the truck, then takes my hand in his large, callused one, interlacing our fingers. My heart starts beating harder in my chest, and I examine my racing thoughts, trying to determine how I feel about holding his hand.

Can I do this?

"You're not shy, are you?" I ask, nodding toward our clasped hands.

"I just know a good thing when I see it," Caleb replies nonchalantly.

This isn't so scary. This is okay.

We stroll at a leisurely pace on the gravel trail around the lake. Conversation comes naturally.

"Do you have any siblings?" I ask.

"No. I'm an only child. My parents wanted more kids, but it wasn't in the cards for them, I guess. So, growing up, I spent every possible minute up at my friend Austin's house. He's like a brother to me, and we're always looking out for his little sister."

"And you work with George now?"

"Yeah, I came back after college and started working on the ranch with George. It's a pretty nice gig, and it allows me to be close in case my parents need anything."

I listen and nod along, encouraging him to keep talking.

"What about you?" Caleb finally asks.

"I was raised by my grandparents from the time I was seven. My granddaddy passed away while I was in high school, and then my grammy passed the summer after my freshman year of college."

"Do you have any other family? Are you related to Jalynn?" Caleb asks, concern showing on his face.

"No. Jalynn is like a sister to me, but we're just good friends. It's okay, though. It's easy to go where you want and do what you want when you're not tied to any family."

"That is possibly the saddest thing I've ever heard," Caleb says, looking down at me.

I ignore the pity that sweeps across his face.

"When are we eating this fancy lunch you packed?" I ask, holding a hand to my stomach as though I'm having hunger pains. The pity in his expression washes away as quickly as it appeared, replaced with a look of understanding.

"This looks like a good enough spot," Caleb says, following my cue.

Caleb spreads the blanket out and offers me first pick at a spot to sit. I sit and Caleb settles next to me, pulling out the contents from the basket. He has cold-cut sandwiches, chips, pickles, and a giant slice of chocolate cake to share. He hands me two clear plastic cups to hold while he opens and pours the sparkling grape juice he brought.

"Looks like you've done this a time or two," I say, giving him a look as though I've caught him in something. "I bet you do this with all of the girls."

"Just the special ones," Caleb replies with a wink, not skipping a beat.

"This is nice," I say. "It reminds me of my favorite spot back home."

"Oh yeah?" Caleb responds, encouraging me to continue.

"We have a river that runs near the town. Most of our free time growing up was spent on that riverbank, a local hangout of sorts. A lot of firsts happened there, too. Oh, the stories Jalynn and I could tell from those days." A grin spreads across my face at just the thought of our shenanigans.

"Maybe we can have some good firsts here," Caleb suggests.

With full bellies and good conversation, neither of us are too anxious to leave. We stroll down to the rocky beach of the lake, and Caleb teaches me how to skip rocks across the water.

"Person with the most skips wins," I say after only a few minutes of practice.

"I'm beginning to realize that you, Miss Lacey, are a very competitive person. You think you're ready to take me on?" he asks.

I approach Caleb where he's currently down on one knee gathering flat rocks for skipping and lean down toward him, gently pressing a hand to his cheek. Our lips are only inches apart. I stare into his eyes. His breath catches, and my gentle giant rigidly stays rooted to the spot, waiting for me to close the gap between us.

"Only the weak cower in the face of competition." I giggle as I spin away from him and start scooping up my own rocks. Caleb clears his throat behind me.

"Alright then, Exquisitely Beautiful Queen of Croquet, prepare to be humbled," he says, rising to his feet.

Several rounds of rock skipping later, most of which were won by Caleb, Caleb glances at his watch.

"I'd better get you back home," he says.

I help gather up our picnic, and we stroll back to Caleb's truck with his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist. I feel safe with him.

Maybe I can do this.

"That was a fun afternoon," Caleb says later, standing at my camper door.

"I had fun, too. Thanks for the picnic. And the rock skipping instruction."

"With more practice, I think you'll be pretty good competition. When can I see you again?"

Caleb steps in closer to me, and I'm acutely aware of his every move.

"Next weekend?" I suggest.

"You're not going to make me wait that long, are you?" Caleb's fingers gently trail up and down the backs of my arms.

"Patience is a virtue."

"A virtue I have very little interest in," Caleb says with a playful smirk.

He slowly inches in closer to me, undoubtedly hoping to end the date with a kiss. I debate my next move. This was good. He's good for me. He's a respectable guy, and I love spending time with him.

I slowly slide my hands up his shoulders and around his neck. Caleb takes the invitation and leans down toward me. Rising up on my toes, I close the space between us and lightly brush my lips against his. He leans further into me, deepening the kiss, but I'm quick to cut it off, not ready to push myself any further.

"Call me," I say and slide through the door.

That night, while preparing for bed, my phone dings, alerting me to another text message from Caleb.

Caleb: Goodnight, beautiful. Sleep well.

I collapse on my bed and touch my fingers to my lips. It was a simple kiss but significant just the same. Caleb is the first man I've kissed aside from my ex. Emotions swirl in my head as I try to process my new reality. Caleb's so sweet and gentle. I undoubtedly could've turned him away tonight, and he would've accepted it without retaliation. I'm sure of it. He wouldn't exploit his status with me to finagle physical intimacy.

I think about the way Ben felt entitled to every piece of me. I remember how he'd push and demand and manipulate until I finally gave him what he wanted. My stomach churns, and I break out in a sweat. With each second ticking by that I allow myself to dwell on the memories of him, anxiety grows within my belly. I push the thoughts of him away, grateful for the new reality I've been able to establish for myself here in Montana. Finally letting my body relax, I drift off into a restless sleep, the old memories playing over in my mind.

"Okay, class, this is your senior project. It's worth thirty percent of your final grade, so get used to looking at your partner's face, because you will be seeing a lot of each other if you do this project correctly," Mr. Huffcutt said. "Seventy percent of your project grade will be based on your work. The other thirty percent will be based on your presentation."

The bell rang, and Mr. Huffcutt's voice was drowned out by the bustling of students leaving the classroom. Ben pulled me out the side door to the parking lot. I hung back, letting my hand slide out of Ben's.

"Wait, Ben, I have to go this way," I said, motioning to the other parking lot.

"Why?" Ben asked.

"I'm going to the library with Gary. We're gonna get started on our project."

"I thought we were gonna hang out. Are you seriously choosing Gary over me?"

"No, Ben. Don't be silly. He's just going out of town this weekend, so we wanted to go ahead and get started."

"I can't believe you let Mr. Huffcutt pair you with that loser. Did you even try to switch partners?"

"You know I did. You saw me talk to him about it," I said and tried to pull Ben toward me. "I'll call you when we're done. You can come pick me up, and we'll go do something."

"Whatever," Ben said, clearly unsatisfied, and he turned away.

"Ben, don't be like this," I called after him.

As promised, I dialed Ben's number as I stepped out of the library. It rang a few times, then went to voicemail. I sat down on the front steps of the library and dialed again. This time it only rang twice before going to voicemail. He was ignoring my calls. I opened a new message and typed out a text to him.

Me: I'm done at the library. Wanna come get me?

After pressing send, I noticed a new text on my phone from Chance, one of Ben's friends. I opened the message to see why Chance was texting me. Ben always got pissed when other guys would text me, and his friends knew better.

Chance: Thought you'd want to see this.

The message was followed by a picture. In it, Ben was sitting on his tailgate down at the river with a bunch of other kids from school. One of whom, Jessica Moore, he had his arm around. I zoomed in on the picture, trying to figure out whether he was whispering something in her ear or kissing her neck like he'd done so many times to me.

Me: What the hell Chance???

I slid my phone back in my pocket and started walking home. Grammy was on night shift, so she couldn't come pick me up, but the library was just a couple of miles from home, anyway. As I walked, I debated calling Jalynn and telling her what happened. Jalynn was already not Ben's biggest fan, though, and I didn't want to risk driving that wedge any further between my best friend and my boyfriend. Or was it my ex-boyfriend now? I should break up with him, if it wasn't already his intention to end things with me. I didn't know what exactly was happening in that photo, but whatever it was, I knew it wasn't okay.

As usual, Grammy left the back door unlocked for me. She'd left a note on the counter, telling me my dinner was in the microwave. I pulled it out and stood at the counter, picking at it. Grammy had made one of my favorites, but I couldn't enjoy it. My mind was still on that picture.

My phone buzzed from my pocket, but when I saw Ben's name on the screen, I pushed the red button and slid it back in my pocket. It buzzed again. This time I turned the phone off, not wanting to talk to him. I just wanted to go to bed. Maybe with some rest, everything would seem simpler.

Too exhausted from the drama of the day for an entire bedtime routine, I pulled off my shoes and jeans and slid into the comfort of my bed. Instantly, my body began to relax. Just as I was starting to drift off to sleep, however, my bedroom door flew open, banging against the wall and startling me to attention. I sat up in bed in a panic to find a dark figure filling my doorway. Ben.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, half enraged and half-heartbroken.

"Why weren't you answering my phone calls, baby? I tried calling you," Ben said in an accusatory tone.

He ignored my calls and was hanging on another girl, but I was the problem, per usual with him.

"I don't have to answer to you anymore."

"Why's that?"

Ben slowly stalked into my room, approaching my bed.

"Because we're done. Now kindly see your way out." I pulled my knees up to my chest, the blankets covering me, giving me a sense of protection.

"That's funny. I don't remember having that conversation." Ben stopped at the edge of the bed.

"Probably because your head was too far up Jessica Moore's ass to hear me!" I raised myself up on my knees so that he wasn't towering as high over me.

"What was I supposed to do? I have needs. She was willing to give me what I needed." Ben leaned in closer, so close our noses were practically touching, and I could smell the booze and cigarettes on his breath.

"For the last time, Gary and I were just doing research for our senior project." I shoved his chest away from me, but he caught my wrists and held his ground.

"I told you that I needed you to come with me, but you chose him anyway. What was I supposed to do? If you'd been there, I wouldn't have needed anyone else. This is your fault, Lacey. You caused this. And now you're trying to break up with me?"

"Ben, leave . . . I don't want you here."

"Not until you tell me you're still my girl."

"Ben—"

"Say it, Lacey. Tell me you're mine."

I quickly realized there was no point in arguing with him while he was drunk. That's when his temper was always the shortest. I fell back onto my butt and folded my arms over my chest.

"Fine. I'm yours, Ben. Now leave. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I sit upright in my bed, soaked with sweat and tangled in my blankets. Pulling my legs free, I drop them over the side of the bed, stand, and head into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. It's easy to see the signs now, looking back. I feel sick as I think of the control I allowed him to have over me. I try to calm my ragged breath. Slowly, my heartbeat steadies, and my body begins to relax again.