3. Everly

Chapter 3

Everly

“ O kay, spill, what’s up with you and my brother?” Hayley demands in a playful but serious tone through the phone as I close Willow’s bedroom door with a loud creak, reminding myself to oil that so it’s quieter.

“You could barely look at him. At first, I went along with your ridiculous game to avoid each other. But now it’s time to move past this. You both need to get it together,” she scolds like she’s tired of us.

I settle in on my cozy couch and tuck my feet under me, stretching a soft orange-and-brown flannel blanket over my legs, and say with defeat, “I know. I don’t even know where to begin with everything, Hayles.”

“Explain it to me then, because we miss you at Sunday dinners at the ranch. Nash tiptoes around you, but I think he misses you, too.”

He misses me.

I wonder if he’s said anything to her. He sure hasn’t said anything to me. Not a single word. He looks at me like I’m the biggest disappointment. At least, it feels that way to me. I’m proud of myself and all that I’ve worked hard for, but proving myself to this town that still sees me as the motherless and now fatherless single mom who married the richest, slimiest guy in town and then divorced him has not been an easy image to live up to. It’s embarrassing, and I feel ashamed. Like I can’t get anything right.

“I don’t miss Nash,” I lie. “And I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make things weird for your family. I just don’t know how to fix things with Nash. Things just are the way they are, I guess.”

“Well, first off, it’s our family. You’re included in that. And you’re not weird. Okay, maybe a little weird,” she teases. “But seriously, why are you guys like this? You used to be so close. We all were. Now, we can’t even have Sunday dinners,” she complains.

I sigh and sink further into the couch in defeat. I knew we’d eventually circle back to this conversation, and I couldn’t put it off forever.

It’s harder to hide the fact that I don’t talk to Nash from Hayley because they both work at the pub together, and he’s always there, which means I can’t see her at work because Nash is there. See? Complicated.

Hayley and Nash co-own the pub in town called Bookers, a popular hangout for locals and tourists. Hayley works there in the early mornings to late afternoons and runs a micro bakery out of the kitchen. Nash runs everything on the evening shift. They took the old dusty pub and made it an extremely popular tourist and local hangout with a restaurant and great food. Since I don’t step foot in there, I only know this from the takeout Hayley has brought me. They’re also known for having the best sandwiches on delicious homemade sourdough bread. People come from all over to eat there and purchase Hayley’s fresh-baked bread daily. She’s an incredible baker and businesswoman. Hayley and Nash’s Grandma Baa owns a very successful bakery in Ireland, and Hayley learned a lot from her. I’m proud of them both for what they’ve accomplished.

“Nash and I haven’t talked since I got pregnant with Willow and moved away with Richie. I hurt him,” I whisper.

I’ll never forget the night it all went downhill. It was pouring rain that night. I stood there in front of him outside the barn, telling him that I was pregnant. Devastation poured over his face as he listened to me. He’d asked me whose baby it was. When I said it was Richie’s, he had shaken his head.

“Anyone but his,” he’d pleaded, not accepting my answer.

Shame filled me that night. “I’m sorry,” I’d whispered.

Nash looked desperate and had begged me, “Don’t go with him. Stay here with me. I’ll help you. He’s not a good guy, Everly.”

“You didn’t want me when I left for college. Why would you want me now that I’m pregnant with another guy’s baby? A guy you hate.”

“I was waiting for you!” he’d shouted, making me jump. I’d never seen him look this anguished and upset .

“No, you weren’t, Nash. You were busy being the town fuck boy. You were not waiting for me,” I’d said angrily. And the look on his face when I’d said that to him still haunts me today.

Richie and I got married and moved to the next town over. And I’ve regretted it every day since. Hurting Nash like that and disappointing the McCreedys by moving away and cutting off everyone I loved has left me with deep regret. I’ve loved Nash for so long that I don’t remember a time when I did not love him. It started as a childhood crush, and by the time I got to high school, I thought he was the love of my life. And it hurt like hell when I realized that he didn’t love me back, or at least made me feel that he never loved me the same way. But then that night in the rain, he’d asked me to stay. He’d begged. And I never understood why he did that. His words, telling me that he was waiting for me, slashed into me like a thousand tiny knives, shredding my heart because his words never matched his actions. Not when he didn’t give me the time of day. There hadn’t been any waiting around at all. I lashed out at him because I wanted him to bleed the way he made me bleed. But still, the guilt is crippling, even now.

I couldn’t have stayed. Because the truth is that Richie had threatened that if I went anywhere near Nash or the McCreedys, he’d take my baby from me. And I knew he would. He ended up making my life miserable anyway. I should’ve just stayed in Cozy Creek. Richie has the resources to fight me with his family’s money. That’s why I didn’t try to leave for so long, even when we were living with him, and I had no support system. I stayed away because I couldn’t risk losing Willow. Hayley and I kept in touch but had to be secretive about it. Looking back, I can’t believe I let Richie isolate me and take everything from me. Never again will I let that happen to me.

“It’s been a long time. Nash doesn’t seem hurt. He seems like he wants you to come around more. And he really likes Willow,” Hayley says softly, her voice not accepting the excuses I’m rolling out one by one.

I reach for my acorn-shaped steaming mug of tea and cup it in my hands, the warmth comforting me. “Does he talk about me?” I ask tentatively but also curious.

Hayley scoffs and then jokes, “No, he would never talk about his feelings, especially not to me, his sister. You know Nash.”

No, I really don’t know Nash. Not anymore. And that makes me feel sad. As kids, all of us were inseparable. Even in high school, when Nash had a reputation for being the bad boy and getting into trouble, and Hayley and I were getting good grades and joining as many clubs and after-school activities as we could squeeze in to get into good colleges, we still knew we could call Nash, and he’d be there for us. He treated me like a pesky little annoying sister back then, but he’d give us rides if we went to parties. He always looked out for us, sometimes even when we didn’t know it at the time. That was just how he was. He was an asshole, but he was our asshole. No one messed with Nash or his family. And the McCreedys are one of the most respected families in Cozy Creek. Few people have anything bad to say about any of them. They’ll be one of the first people to help anyone who needs it. Meanwhile, my family was more like the family on Shameless . Frank Gallagher was like my father, Brian, and unfortunately, I didn’t have a Fiona to raise me. But I did have the McCreedys. And for the most part, I think I turned out okay. I’m still working on it, though. I’m currently working a part-time job at the Cozy Creek Public library but hope to have a full-time position there when my mentor retires. Willow and I are getting by, but it hasn’t been easy. I haven’t been able to give Willow a lot of things, but I can give her a safe and happy place to live in our cozy little house in town that was once my childhood home.

Even though Nash would get into trouble in high school, most people overlooked it because of his family and chalked it up to teenage rebellion. And most of Nash’s trouble was harmless. He was the kid who only fought because someone was getting bullied. But he did like to get into shenanigans with his buddies. Let’s just say every cop in town knows Nash on a first-name basis and has given him rides home on more than one occasion.

“Are you still there?” she asks, shaking me out of my thoughts as I trace the plaid lines on the blanket in my lap.

“Yeah,” I say, bringing my thoughts back to the conversation. “Do you think Richie will ever leave us alone?” I change the subject.

I don’t like to think about the night we left, but it was up there on the list as one of the worst nights of my life. Richie had been binge drinking for days leading up to that night. He was screaming at Willow and me and breaking things around the house. He never put his hands on Willow or me, but he scared us. And things were getting worse. I felt like that was going to be the next step for him, so I had to get us out. When I went to check on Willow during his rage that night and found her shaking and hiding under her bed, I was done. Nash said nothing to me that night. He just loaded up our stuff while Richie remained passed out on the couch in our living room, a bottle lying next to him leaking into the couch that was no longer my problem. They got us out of there quickly. I’m relieved that I’ve never had to go back there. And I hope the shrimp still smells terrible.

“Hayley,” I whisper.

“What?”

“I love you. Thanks for always having my back.”

“Right back at you.”

“I’ll try to make it normal with Nash,” I promise.

“You two need to get it together,” she says with a deep sigh.

After I do a quick tidy of my house and blow out my pumpkin-scented candle, I check my phone as I go to put it on the charger next to my bed. I scan the notifications and see a text from Richie. I close my eyes and groan. The devil himself.

Richie

I took the car back.

The blood rushes to my ears, drowning out the sound of everything else as I rush to the front window and peer out the curtains. Anger pulses through me in frustration that leaves me bone-deep weary. This man will not stop until he takes everything from me.

Nope. I’m not giving in to whatever game he’s trying to play now. I think about the many responses on the tip of my tongue, but I say nothing. I take deep breaths and contemplate how I’ll budget a vehicle into our already stretched-to-the-max budget on my part-time librarian salary.

Richie

Come home and you can have it back.

I take a deep breath and look up at the ceiling, trying to find some patience and not respond. But right now, I’m fresh out of patience.

I would rather work 7 days a week, 18 hours a day to pay for a new car than live in the same zip code as you ever again.

Richie

Have fun walking.

Anger sears through me when I think about the games he plays with me and how it affects Willow. He never even bothers to ask about her. I would block his number, but he’ll just find other ways to come around. If he texts me, at least I can save the texts for my lawyer. And he would take away our only form of transportation as a form of manipulation. Well, the joke’s on him because we live in the middle of town. We can walk to her school, which is just a few blocks away. The library is just a few blocks in the opposite direction, so I can walk there, too. And the general store is on Main Street as well, so we can get groceries on foot. I’ll just make frequent trips. I don’t need that car. It’ll be an inconvenience for a while, but I’ll figure it out. Enjoy your shrimp, buddy.

Now that I’m too worked up to go to bed, I go to the kitchen and pick up the broom and sweep and head outside to empty the trash. Shaking my head angrily at Richie’s bullshit, I hurry over to the trash barrel. At twenty-eight years old, I shouldn’t be afraid of the dark, but it is what it is. It’s not so much the thought of the dark as it is the thought of who could be hiding in the shadows. The feeling that Richie would stop at nothing to intimidate and try to scare me. I worry he could still be loitering nearby. Running back up the back stairs, one of them snaps under me, and I fall back and land hard on my butt on the pavement. I groan as I lie there and curse the universe. I wiggle my fingers and toes and cautiously sit up. Nothing feels broken. Relief fills me as I stand, careful to sidestep the broken stair.

I stalk to the bar in the kitchen where my laptop is closed and flip it open. I will be emailing my property manager. I shake my head, anger pulsing through me. What if that had been Willow who fell? Or if I’d broken my leg? I don’t even have a car anymore. How the heck can I walk everywhere on a broken leg?

I open my email and type up a strongly worded message about the back stairs and how I fell, and one is now broken and needs to be repaired. I probably was too harsh and mostly still mad about Richie, but it’s too late. I’ve already hit send. Hopefully, they’ll get it fixed soon. I’m more mad at Richie right now, but I’m sore from falling, and that’s not helping things either.

I trudge off to bed, turning off the lamp on my bedside table. The moonlight shines in my room, and I sigh. I’ve screwed everything up with Nash. I wonder if we could ever get back to being friends like we were. Hayley is right. It’s time to work it out so I can come back around. Willow needs the ranch and the McCreedys as much as I do. I can’t mess things up with them. We need them.