2. Everly

Chapter 2

Everly

A s they get closer, it dawns on me why the man looks so familiar. He removes his cowboy hat and runs his hand through his wavy dark hair that matches his sister’s. I close my eyes and shake my head in horror and embarrassment. He’s the very last man on the planet that I should be thinking about. He’s off-limits.

Nash.

No, no, no.

I gasp. “No.” I shake my head at Hayley, who finds this even more hilarious and laughs even harder in her chair. “Not a word. I swear I will kill you if you tell him I said any of that. Dead and buried, Hayley. I mean it. Oh my God .”

I thought the ranch hand was hot, and it was Nash. Freaking Nash. The boy I’ve had a crush on since I was seven years old. He held my hand at my mom’s funeral but then kept me at arm’s length all through school even though he knew I liked him. He treated me, at best, like a pesky friend to his little sister who was off-limits and broke my heart on a regular basis. Most of the time, he didn’t even know he was doing it. He’d do it by dating and screwing any girl in town and ignoring me. After high school, I bravely confided in him right before I left for college that I loved him, and he told me that I was too young even though he’s only two years older than Hayley and me. Looking back, he was wild then. There’s no way we’d have made anything serious work. Nash seemed like he couldn’t be tamed. He was more into partying and getting into trouble. I didn’t want that with Nash. I didn’t want to be just another girl to him. I wanted to be the girl.

A few years later, when I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant with Willow and told him, he begged me not to marry Richie. But it was too late. He could have had me, but he didn’t want me. I didn’t want him to take pity on me. I wanted him to truly want me. I figured there was no way that would happen, when I was barely twenty and having a baby. I felt like I had no choice but to marry the father of my baby and do what I thought was right. At that point, my dad had already left Cozy Creek and moved away to start over with his new family, so I felt like I had no one. I couldn’t tell Hayley I was in love with her brother and he’d rejected me. I had already made things weird with Nash; I couldn’t make them weird with Hayley. Now that I look back, Richie was my biggest mistake. I should have stayed in Cozy Creek and figured it out as a single mom. I would have been so much better off, and so would Willow. But hindsight is twenty-twenty, right? Instead, I gave some of my precious younger years to dickhead Richie, who did nothing but treat me like crap.

And here is Nash now, heading our way. He’s walking next to my daughter like it’s no big deal. I stiffen and straighten in my chair. Things didn’t end well between us after that night he begged me not to marry Richie when I told him I was pregnant. I haven’t been around him since we returned to town, and nobody talks about what happened with Nash. As I said, it’s been a part-time job of mine to avoid him at all costs.

“Hey, sweetheart, are you and my girl here staying for dinner? Last I heard, Nana Anna has on a big pot of hearty chili and honey cornbread,” Mack cheerfully calls with a faint hint of his Irish accent. He smiles at me as he stands before us on the porch, plopping his worn and wrinkled hand playfully on Willow’s head. She grins up at Mack with her missing front teeth. My heart swells watching them together, an ache lingering in my chest seeing her so happy with the people who gave me unconditional love as a child when I desperately needed it. She’s never had a grandfather figure treat her like this. Both sets of her biological grandparents are emotionally and physically unavailable. My dad lives in Florida and hasn’t even met Willow. And Richie’s side of the family is cold and detached. We see them rarely and only on formal occasions. This is why the McCreedys mean so much to us. Except Nash. He’s made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me. I’ve been back in Cozy Creek for a while now, and he’s made zero effort to even be a friend .

“Willow’s been a big helper with the horses. We have a future rancher on our hands. She has it in her bones; I can tell.” Mack beams proudly at all of us, and I can’t help but smile, disarming the awkwardness a little in Nash’s presence. I know how happy this makes Willow. All she’s talked about are horses, and horse shows are all she wants to watch on streaming apps. She’s a goner for ranching and horse life.

I’ve known Mack all my life. My mother was best friends with his wife, Anna, until she died. The McCreedys took losing my mother as hard as my father and I did. My father did his best to raise me after her death, but he was a long-haul truck driver who was gone for long periods of time. When he was gone, I stayed out here at the ranch. I had chores just like the rest of the kids, and they always included me in all their family traditions and activities.

“We actually have to get going,” I say softly, feeling nervous and trying not to look at Nash. He’s standing next to his father and staring at Hayley and me, probably trying to figure out why she’s been manically laughing, and I look horrified and embarrassed. As I should. Freaking Nash. I should have known. I’ve always been drawn to him. No matter what I do to convince myself that he’s not the one, my heart tells me I’m lying. He’s always been the one. No other person on the planet has ever had this effect on me, and I really wish he wouldn’t, but apparently, my heart will do whatever the hell it wants to. Even fall for someone who doesn’t love me back. The world is a cruel place.

I feel like the air has left my chest. He’s staring right at me with an unreadable expression. Gone is the boy I once knew, and in his place is the man I always thought he’d become. And he looks good. Better than good. Freaking fine as hell. He’s got massive shoulders now, making me wonder what it would feel like to wrap my arms around them and hold him tight. A black button-up shirt he’s wearing stretches tight across his broad, muscled chest. His black cowboy hat is pulled low again. His wide, square jaw is covered in scruff, but it’s neatly trimmed, making him look even darker and mysterious. His expression is still unreadable. Nash has always felt mysterious, but I prided myself on being able to read him and his expressions. In fact, when we were younger, we could have entire conversations with just our eyes. He was the best hide-and-seek partner. No one could ever find us out here on the ranch. But now, I realize I don’t know this Nash. His dark brown eyes are hard to see, but I know he’s looking at me. I feel like I’m on a stage, and a giant spotlight is on me. It’s hot, making my cardigan on this cool evening feel like a heated blanket wrapped around me. Everything feels way too hot.

“Oh, bummer. Will we see you on Sunday for dinner?” Mack asks, still looking hopeful.

“I’ll check my calendar,” I promise hesitantly, looking at Nash and back at Hayley, trying to focus anywhere but Nash. It’s so obvious to everyone, and while Hayley finds it funny, I can feel the disappointment radiating off Mack. I know he just wants us to all be together again.

Mack says softly, “Well, then…”

Hayley says nothing but watches this little reunion with highly amused fascination. I will get to her later. She knows this and says nothing when my eyes dart to hers. The looks I’ve been sneaking at her could incinerate her if I had those powers.

I clear my throat. “We’d better get going. I have supper going in the slow cooker at home, and Willow has school tomorrow. Thanks for letting her hang out with the horses.” I stand and grab for my purse, almost losing my balance with nervousness.

“I’ll walk you to your car.” Hayley smirks at her brother, and his eyes narrow on her briefly. He’s well aware something is going on between us, yet thankfully, he has the decency to say nothing and look away, not making eye contact or fully acknowledging me.

“Please tell Anna we said goodbye,” I say softly to Mack as I kiss his cheek. It’s awkward that I don’t address Nash and give him a wide berth, but I don’t know what else to do. He’s a stranger to me now. We’re not friends; we’re barely acquaintances. Something I never imagined we’d ever be, but here we are. In the past eight years, we’ve had one other interaction—that night I left Richie when they all came to get Willow and me. I’ve caught glimpses of him around town, but I’ve avoided him. I’ve been known to dart into local businesses if I see him out and about, and I’ve avoided Bookers Pub at all costs. Hayley has begged me to come and help her bake in the pub kitchen, but I won’t step foot into Bookers. He lives above it, and it’s too risky. I’m afraid I’ll run into him. I don’t even know what I’d say if I did talk to him. But it’s not like he goes out of his way to talk to me either.

“You bring our little girl out here anytime,” Mack says. “We need to get her on a horse and get her comfortable riding. The sooner, the better.”

I smile and nod, knowing she would love that. “Thanks, Mack.”

The night I left Richie, I made one phone call to Hayley, telling her that Willow and I needed out immediately. The McCreedy family and their three trucks pulled up in front of our house no less than forty-five minutes later. Nash, Mack, Hayley, Anna, and Kincaid silently packed our belongings, loaded the boxes in their trucks, and drove us back to Cozy Creek. No questions were asked; they just showed up for us. I thanked them profusely. I’m lucky these people love us the way that they do. Well, all of them but Nash. He looks at me like I’m nothing to him, and I don’t know what hurts more.

Mack had a few things to say that night, and Hayley definitely had more than a few things to say about the situation, but in the end, they just wanted us safe. And that’s how we ended up back in Cozy Creek. And let me tell you, coming back to your hometown after you got pregnant and married the town jerk has not been an experience I’d wish on anyone. I’ve had to endure a lot of gossip and people who have opinions about all my life choices. One could say it’s none of their business, but you know how it goes in a small town. It took me a long time to get people to let me back in and trust me. My part-time job at the library has definitely helped.

“Bye,” I call as Willow reluctantly slides her hand in mine and looks back at them.

Willow slips out of my hand and runs back to give Mack and Nash a hug, and I can see how much being here means to her as well. She really appreciated them letting her help with the horses.

I take in Nash’s surprise at Willow’s gesture, his big hand hesitating as it comes down to rest on Willow’s head, a much softer look in his eyes there and then gone as Willow returns to my side.

It’s hard for me to process the kindness he shows Willow, yet not me. At least if Nash and I can’t even be friends, I can be grateful for how kind he is to my little girl.

“Bye, sweetheart,” Mack calls, and Nash lifts a hand and waves to Willow as he leans back against the porch railing. I briefly look back but feel like I need to focus on every step in front of me, or I will trip from nervousness.

The air almost completely leaves my chest when Nash’s eyes follow me to the car.

“You’re dead,” I whisper to Hayley after I get Willow in the back seat. But she’s not. I’ll always forgive her. She’s my best friend, and she knows it.

She throws her head back and laughs so hard. “Your hot cowboy,” she mocks as she pretends to throw up.

I shake my head with mock betrayal as I give her a dry look. “I bet you’re pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?”

“That was great. And we’ll discuss it later, ” she says with a huge grin as she motions to Willow.

“I’ll call you after I get Willow to bed.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” she calls as she waves, and we head back to town. “See you later, vicious trollop.”

“Did you have fun today, baby?” I ask Willow as I slide in my seat, trying to calm down so I can drive and focus on her.

“Mom, I love it here so much. When can we come back?” Willow asks from the back seat.

“I’m glad you do. We’ll be back soon,” I promise.

Just not when Nash is here.

“Okay,” she happily agrees. “Mack says they can teach me how to ride. Can we come back this weekend?”

“We’ll see, honey. I’m glad you’re having fun with the horses.”

We may both be healing from the hell that Richie put us through, but at least we’re doing alright. I let out my breath, knowing we’re going to be okay. Things are getting better being back in Cozy Creek.

Finally.

I may not have been around Nash for the past eight years, but he has always been with me. My heart has always belonged to him. A man who never wanted my heart in the first place. As much as I try to deny this, it’s there and always has been. He’s like the forbidden fruit. And I need to continue avoiding him, not lusting after him like a vicious little trollop.