14. Everly

Chapter 14

Everly

H e loves me. And he’s always loved me.

I take this in as I stare out the window at the library while I wait for closing time a few days after the speed dating. I’ve always known something was special about Nash. I just didn’t think he felt the same way I did. And here he was, laying it all out after all this time, not even hesitating. He didn’t waver; he just said what he felt. And he’s felt this way all along. It’s like time was robbed from us. He’s always held something back when it comes to me. A block has been between us that I could never break through. Now that I’m back and starting to figure out my stuff, he’s letting me know his intentions. It scares me and excites me at the same time. Part of me wants to run and the other part of me wants to jump in. Nash is the person who was always there when we were growing up. A friend and an ally. As time passed, I fell hard for him, and then I realized somewhere along the way that I couldn’t imagine living my life without him in it in some way. That’s why it was so painful when I didn’t have him or his family in my life. It didn’t go the way I thought it was supposed to go. Deep down, he was always the love of my life. And I thought I’d blown it. But now? Now, everything has changed.

It was a busy day for the library, so I didn’t have much time to process everything, but my mind has been spinning since Nash kissed me and told me he loved me. And I kissed him back, and I loved every minute of it. It was so hot and sexy. If Marcus hadn’t interrupted us, I think we would have had the hottest make-out session ever. I wanted it, and holy shit, he wanted me. And I blame this on Richie, fucking Richie. He always has to show up and mess up everything good in my life. He tries to take away everything that I love that matters to me. I don’t understand why he can’t comprehend that we are done. He has no ties to me.

Oh my God. I still can’t get over what Nash said.

This is not what I expected. Ever since that night when I came back, he’s barely looked at me, and I had no idea how he felt. We talked for a while, and I didn’t want to hang up, but I could tell he was exhausted. My mind pans back to what he’d said.

“Let me show you, Ev.”

“Show me what?” I stupidly asked.

“How much you mean to me,” he’d said.

I close my eyes. I had no idea he’s loved me all this time. Finding this out has rocked my world. I’m confused and angry that I loved him for years and didn’t feel like he loved me back. And now he just drops this bomb on me. A shot from that bottle of tequila at home that Reed left on my porch sounds pretty good right about now.

Reed. I need to check in with him and see how he’s doing. I check my email, and there’s nothing there and no texts. Damn.

It’s fifteen minutes till closing time. Dusk is setting in, and the sunset from the library windows is showing off big time. This is my favorite part of closing. The view.

I lean over the counter to check as a text flashes across the screen.

Anne Marie

Honey, I’m keeping Willow tonight. We’ve got big plans to watch Halloweentown and eat popcorn. Go and have some fun!

I smile because I love how Anne Marie enjoys spending time with Willow. She’s become even more special to us since we’ve been back in Cozy Creek. I’m glad she has all these people who love her like they loved me. For the longest time, it was just Willow and me and the occasional appearance of Richie.

I quickly send a response, thanking her and letting her know I’ll pick up Willow later. I power down my computer and gather my lunch bag, water bottle, and purse. I slide into my coat and tie my scarf around my neck since it’s gotten much cooler at night now. I need to figure out our vehicle situation soon. Maybe I can shop for a used car next weekend. Not paying rent for a few months will certainly help with the cost of a new vehicle .

Richie has been eerily quiet since last night at the bar. I figured he’d blow up my phone by calling, texting, or even possibly showing up at the library today. Nothing. I’m relieved, but at the same time, I’m wondering what he’s planning. Whatever it is won’t be good. There’s no way he’s just going to let this go. I’m expecting an all-out war.

Shivering at the thought of Richie, I head out and lock the doors. When I feel someone nearby, I whirl around nervously, already on edge from thoughts of Richie.

Nash.

He stands in a tan Carhartt jacket, hands in his pockets, and a black cowboy hat tipped low. His mouth is turned up slightly, his jaw dark and scruffy.

“Nash. What are you doing here?” I stand nervously, seeing him for the first time since our phone call when everything changed. For me at least.

“Just making sure you’re okay,” he says with his smooth-as-whiskey voice.

I close my eyes for a second. “I’m okay.” It’s been a long time since I had someone check on me. In fact, I haven’t had that other than Hayley in the past few years.

“Where’s your car?” he asks as he faces me.

“I don’t have it anymore. I’m getting a new one,” I admit.

“He took it, didn’t he?” His eyes seem to darken.

I nod, unsure what to say. I don’t want to make more issues with Nash where Richie is concerned.

Nash turns and says, “Your ex and his family resemble cactuses. Full of pricks.”

I throw my head back and laugh. “You aren’t wrong.”

This whole town has issues with the Sullivans. They are notorious for doing whatever they want, and it doesn’t matter who they run over to do it.

He shuffles his feet, looking perplexed and then straightens and blows out a breath. “Can I take you and Willow out to dinner?”

He wants to take me and Willow to dinner. The way he includes her makes my heart squeeze.

I clear my throat. “I actually have dinner in the slow cooker at home. I had planned on feeding Willow, but she’s staying at Anne Marie’s for the evening to watch a movie. We could go to my house,” I suggest softly, suddenly feeling nervous about him being in my space for some reason.

Something in his face twitches, and his mouth turns up slightly.

Also, I’m not sure my nerves can handle being alone with him and out at a restaurant or having the town see us and add to the already long list of gossip I have going about Richie, Nash, and me. I’m frozen in front of the library, taking him in as he stands tall before me with his hat pulled low. He’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure me out.

“I’m down for soup,” he finally says, reaching for my hand. He guides me onto the sidewalk, tucking me next to him effortlessly. This is probably good because I’ve already forgotten how my feet work. My hand tingles in his; it’s big, warm, and rough against my smooth and smaller hand.

“Who said it was soup?” I question, and I look at him.

“I’ve heard about your soup of the day and bread you’ve been baking with Hayley,” he offers as a reason.

We’re quiet on the way to my house. We don’t talk, but it’s not awkward. It’s as easy as it used to be with Nash. Luckily, it’s darker out, but we pass a few people out and about who give us surprised and then curious looks. Most people know we ran around together as kids but then haven’t been seen together until last night. Last night changed everything. I think about that kiss he gave me and shiver, goose bumps going up my arm. I look up at him, walking next to me. He glances down at me and grins.

“What kind of soup did you make?” he asks, trying to make conversation.

I’m trying to pull it together. His fingers intertwined through mine feel so nice.

“Cheesy chicken potato.”

He squeezes my hand and grins in response.

We pass Bookers, and he says to hold on a minute. He goes in the back kitchen door and then comes out with a loaf of sourdough that Hayley made.

“Soup and fresh bread,” he says as he holds up the bread, then slides his hand back in mine. We make it the rest of the way to my house without me tripping or saying something dumb.

“How did you know I didn’t make bread at home already?”

“Because you worked all day, beautiful,” he says.

I’m so nervous I can barely see straight, and my hand shakes as I try to open my door. I finally get it unlocked and hold it for Nash.

He seems huge and out of place in my entryway, which is right in the living room. He looks around and takes it in.

“I lucked out being able to rent my old place.” I nervously pick up a blanket and fold it over the side of the couch. I had no idea he’d be coming by, or I’d have picked up more. I run my hand through my hair, nervous I’m going to mess this up with him and say something wrong or just fall on my face.

Nash watches me and closes the distance between us. He pulls me into his arms, and I rest my head on his shoulder as he says, “I like it. It looks so warm and welcoming in here.”

He smells so good—minty and a mixture of pine and clean. I love being near him.

I take in my small sectional and old stone fireplace with a television mounted above it that Mack had hung for me. I have warm blankets stacked on an old rustic ladder, fall-scented candles sprinkled throughout the house, and a homemade braided rug that took me months to make under the couch. Three large wooden bookshelves are on one wall and filled with books that Willow and I both read. Plants of various varieties and colors are displayed throughout the house, adding a pop of green with the thrifted terracotta pots, colorful tapestries, and throw pillows. It’s home for us, and I love it here. I’m grateful every single day for this place. Our sanctuary.

“I love all your books,” he says. “There are so many.”

“I am a librarian after all.” I smile.

“You’ve always loved books. The plant obsession? That must be new because you and Hayley killed any living thing we had growing up,” he says as he gazes around the room thoughtfully.

“It is a new hobby and something I’ve gotten better at, thank you very much,” I say casually as I watch him walk around and take in our space. He seems to like it.

“Place looks good.” He takes his coat off and hangs it on the hook by the door, looking like he belongs here. My breath hitches as I watch him in his hunter-green-and-black flannel shirt stretched across his chest.

“Thanks. The property was renovated, and they did a great job. It’s beautiful. I’m so thankful Willow and I can rent it.”

He doesn’t say anything but continues to look around, running his hand over the railing that has been sanded and stained dark.

“Smells good in here.” His lip twitches as he walks into the dining room and kitchen.

“Let me get you some dinner,” I say quickly as I hang my coat next to his and motion for him to have a seat at the bar in front of the stove.

I stir the slow cooker contents, then reach for the bread and set it on the cutting board. I think of what to say and finally just say it. “Thank you for sticking up for me last night. I’m sorry he showed up and caused a scene.”

“Nothing for you to be sorry about. You didn’t do anything wrong. Richie has to take responsibility for his own actions, not you,” he says as he picks up Willow’s and my fall bucket list on the table and scans it. In bright autumn colors, we’ve made a list of all the things we want to do together this fall season. A few have check marks next to them, but not for everything. Willow loves it, and we’ve been making new memories and traditions.

“That’s our fall bucket list,” I say as I ladle soup into two of our rustic soup bowls that I got from a local pottery shop and set out a few small matching plates. I quickly slice the bread and set out the butter.

“It looks fun,” he says as he reads, and his eyebrows rise. “We used to do many of these same things when we were kids.”

“We did,” I say softly. “I’m trying to keep the magic going for Willow.”

“You’re a good mom,” he says softly as his tongue wets his lower lip, and my thighs squeeze as I watch him.

I smile and bite my lip. “I try.”

He tilts his head, thinking before he says, “I’m going to lay it out, Everly. I don’t want to go another day without you in my life. I don’t know what that means for you, but for me, I want to find out.”

Oh my God. And this is so like him. He’s not one to beat around the bush. He has always loved with his whole heart and has done anything he wanted, fully committed.

“Why now?” I ask. “I didn’t think you felt this way.”

“Well, now you know. What are you thinking? Where do you stand?” he asks as he watches me walk over to the counter and set the soup bowls down.

“I want to find out, too. But I’m scared,” I admit .

“What are you scared of?” Standing, he closes the distance between us, pulling me to him.

“I’m scared that things won’t work out, and then I’ll be even more divided with you and your family, Nash. Hayley, Kincaid, and your mom and dad are all the family I have besides Anne Marie. If we don’t work out, I have a lot to lose. So does Willow,” I admit as I stare up at him, his eyes completely drawing me in.

I close my eyes. Focus, Everly, I remind myself.

“You think I don’t have a lot to lose? I already lost you once, Ev. I’m not going to let anything mess this up, especially since Willow is involved,” he says as his brown eyes seem to darken with intensity.

I look down and lay out two napkins and spoons, trying to keep my hands busy and not show how nervous I am. “I don’t want this to be a temporary thing. I can’t take that.”

“Beautiful, you’re nothing casual. You’re forever.”

My heart clenches, and I close my eyes. “I wish I had gone with you.”

He tilts his head slightly. “That was then, this is now, and we have the chance to start fresh.”

“It’s different now. I have Willow. I’m different. I suspect you are, too. We don’t really know each other as the people we are now. It’s been…a long time.”

“I know you have a kid. I like her a lot. And I suspect we’re not all that different. I want to get to know you and be in your life again. Do you want that, too?” he asks me as if it’s just that simple of a question. Like checking a box for yes or no .

Nothing is simple when it comes to my feelings about Nash. My feelings are so freaking big that I would never call them simple.

I bite my lip and nod. “It comes with a crazy ex for me, though. He won’t like it that you’re in our lives, and he’ll do his worst to make sure we feel that.”

He shrugs. “Okay. He can do his worst. It won’t keep me away. Not this time.”

God, this is why I have always loved this man. He isn’t bothered and is confident in what he wants. And he wants me. What the heck is my life right now?

He leans up against my counter, making me feel warmer and safer somehow. My cozy little home has always been where I felt relaxed and comfortable, especially since making it my own. But having him here in this space makes it somehow feel right. Like all is well with the world, and he was supposed to be here with us all along.

He leans over and pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head. My arms circle him, and I lay my head on his chest. I look up at him. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” he says as he looks at me, and I wonder if he means for the soup or for me.

Ohhhhh.