Chapter 38

Brandon

T here was absolutely no reason that a week later we still hadn’t talked to each other. This was a new type of hell.

I’d never lived in a world where I couldn’t pick up my phone and reach out to my best friend to tell him how my day had been or ask him how his day had gone. It was only made worse to come home to boxes of his belongings still piled in a corner of my living room.

It was pathetic to think that after a week I imagined that I was forgetting what his face looked like. Or even what he smelled like. If it weren’t for the fact that I had all of his clothes, I would have forgotten that entirely.

As it was, I curled up every night in the University of Washington hoodie his mom had gotten for him when we were first accepted into college.

Why was the other half of the bed still empty?

My brain still scrambled to form ideas on how to apologize, to make it up to him. If I were Andrew, I’d never forgive me. He deserved so much more than being a secret.

As if moving through a mud puddle, my body moved through the apartment when someone knocked at the front door. At this point, I had lost all hope that Andrew was miraculously going to turn back up. This time was no different when Nathan greeted me on the other side of the door. I couldn’t even bring myself to smile in greeting, just moving to the side to let him in.

“Have you been back to work yet?”

His question should have caught me off guard, but I knew my friends cared. I looked like a wreck. My hair was greasy from not being washed in several days, and I probably smelled awful.

“I tried. Mom sent me home after a lecture.”

Nathan stared at me for a full two minutes before he guided me to the couch and forced me to sit. He grabbed my hand and his features were so laced with worry that I felt terrible for making my friends so concerned about me.

“What are you going to do? You can’t keep waiting around for him. Have you heard anything?”

It was so dumb. That I could still cry at the drop of a hat was ridiculous. “Nothing. Not a word. I think he’s really done with me.”

Nathan squeezed my hands and chewed at his bottom lip.

“I don’t think he’s done, but I do think you need to make the first move here. Have you thought about how to apologize?”

I sagged into the couch, letting go of my friend. My palms pressed into my eyes as I kept trying to fight the inevitable tears. “Nothing I come up with seems adequate. How do you say sorry for fucking over the one person who means the most to you? ”

When the room stayed silent, I dropped my hands. If anyone understood the situation, it was Nathan. He’d left Chase behind for years in favor of exploring his sexuality. It was a poor excuse, but love won out in the end and Chase had forgiven him.

“Maybe you’re just overthinking it. Maybe he just needs you to say that you’re sorry.”

Nathan wasn’t wrong, but an easy apology didn’t feel significant enough.

Then the thought hit me. I could do something big and meaningful. It would require the help of all my friends, so maybe it was a good thing that Nathan was here after all.

“What’s that look for?” Nathan’s lips tipped up at the side as a maniacal grin spread across my face.

“Do you think Chase could help me with something?”

M y palms were a sweaty mess as I swiped them against my slacks. The restaurant was technically closed, but a few of the wait staff hung around. And by a few, I meant the ones that mattered the most. That meant Chase, Daniel, and Shawn were on standby, waiting for Andrew to show up.

My biggest fear was that he saw the text and ignored it .

When Joe showed up ten minutes ago, I knew he hadn’t. I hadn’t texted Joe to show up, but had told Andrew that I needed all our friends in attendance.

Shawn came from behind the bar with a bottle of the fancy tequila that Andrew had bought for me and set on the middle of the table. I nodded a thank you and then went back to watching the door. My heart hammered in my chest, waiting for him to show. What if he sent Joe ahead and then changed his mind?

My breath caught as I saw him walking down the sidewalk through the windows that lined the front of the restaurant. He was stunning. I knew he had few clothes with him, but Andrew, dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, was enough for me. Instead of his usual messy sweep, he styled his hair nicely. More than anything, my fingers itched to run through the strands as his lips slanted against mine.

Chase took his place by the front door as Andrew approached and held it open for him. Andrew gave him a tight smile before he met my eyes from across the empty space. After so many years, he could still take my breath away and it was stupid to think I could ever hide what we had. I had only hoped that this was enough to prove that I was serious this time around.

“Please have a seat, and someone will be with you in a moment.”

I was numb as Chase held out Andrew’s chair. Sitting across from one another, it seemed as though a spell had been cast. The rest of the room faded away. It didn’t matter that everyone was here to witness me begging Andrew to give me a chance. He was here and in my presence for the first time in a week and a half. The time we spent apart was the worst of my life.

“Hi.” The one word sent everything into motion.

A smile lit Andrew’s face and the tension that had been living in my chest since he’d walked out the door lifted a tiny bit.

“Hi.”

“Good evening, gentlemen. Let me start you off by pouring you a drink. Mr. Davis here has requested a special meal, if that’s all right with you, Mr. Hernandez.”

I wanted to laugh. I’d never heard Daniel be so formal, but he was playing a part tonight and I appreciated him for it.

“That sounds wonderful, thank you.” Andrew motioned to the bottle in the middle of the table and Daniel served us each a shot of the fancy booze.

The glass nearly slipped from my fingers as I brought it to my lips. I tipped it back and took a long swig, swallowing it and savoring the burn of the tangy liquor.

“You remembered?”

I laughed at Andrew’s question. “It’s not like I can forget the label of something that still sits in my kitchen cabinet.” I took a deep breath. “Our kitchen cabinet.”

His smile vanished a little, setting his glass back down. “What is this? ”

Before I could answer, Shawn was at the table setting down plates of food between us. Nathan and Chase were at another table, and so were Joe and Aiden.

The words were hard to form, but I did my best as they tried to stick. “I suck at apologizing. And part of me still thinks this isn’t enough. Andrew, I did something terrible to you. I should have always loved you out loud. Instead, I wanted you all to myself. It was selfish.”

When I reached across the table, my heart thudded even harder when the man in question grabbed my hands. “You are the love of my life, Andrew. And I wanted everyone that was important to us here to see that.”

He looked around the room as my parents came out of the back. His breath caught as they sat at another table. His mom came out next, followed by his father soon after.

“What’s my dad doing here?”

I held up my hand to get him to quiet down. I hoped he would figure it all out, but the longer he looked around the room as more of our family and friends filed in, it sank in.

The icing on the cake was when his coworker, Rebecca, made her way to a table. Tracking her down had been more difficult than I thought it would be.

Once everyone was sitting, I stood, picking up a glass from the table. If I’d been nervous before, it didn’t prepare me for the wave of anxiety that hit me now. All of those eyes on me nearly sent me running right out the front door, but I kept my feet glued because this was about Andrew. He was the most important and more important than my nerves.

“Thank you, everyone.” I took a sip of water before setting the glass back on the table. “Having you all here is important. I’ve made some mistakes, and I knew that simply saying I’m sorry wouldn’t ever be enough. Not with someone as special as Andrew.”

Andrew shifted in his seat and looked around. His eyes widened when he looked back at me. “You didn’t need to do this.”

A chuckle escaped me. “I did, because I did you wrong. Andrew has always been there for me. He waited patiently while I messed around and didn’t judge me when I went through some of the most humiliating moments of my life.”

Andrew’s face was pink, but he didn’t stop me this time.

“See, I’ve always been in love with my best friend. Not just the type of love you feel for your friends and family, but the type of love that’s deeper. The type of love that sinks its teeth in and doesn’t let go. I was terrified because if anyone has met me, they know I don’t have the best track record with relationships. Little did I know, it was the universe trying to tell me I was wasting my time. The one who was meant for me was right in front of me the entire time.”

When I looked around the room again, Mom had a napkin she was wiping her eyes with. I hadn’t intended to make anyone emotional, but I meant every word .

“I’m in love with Andrew Hernandez and have been for as long as I can remember. We’ve been dating for weeks, and, like an idiot, I thought that was something I needed to keep hidden. He’s more than that. He’s absolutely everything.”

It was my turn to break off as my throat clogged with emotion. Andrew wasn’t sitting anymore, either. He stood in front of me. Tears must have slipped free because he suddenly wiped the wet trails from my cheeks.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so fucking in love with you, too.”

I didn’t wait for anything else. My arms wrapped around his shoulders and I pulled Andrew in for a kiss. The room filled with whoops and applause.