Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Autumn

“ I ’ve really, really gotta go,” I say to Julie and Blaire. We’re on a three-way call and have chatted for the past hour while I got ready for tonight. Talking to them helped calm my nerves because I didn’t know what to say when a Dolce & Gabbana dress showed up at my place this afternoon, not to mention the designer heels. Everything is in my size, and I’m not sure how Zane knew. Maybe it’s a lucky guess, or he’s paid more attention than I give him credit for.

“Promise to keep us updated,” Julie says.

“I will,” I tell them.

“You better,” Blaire warns. “No details left out, either!”

“Okay, okay! Bye!” I grab the tube of red lipstick and drop it in the wristlet that was also gifted. It’s just large enough to fit that and my phone. Right now they’re both living vicariously through me. If the tables were turned, I’d do the same.

Quickly, I glance out the window and see a slick black limo with flashers blocking the street. Vehicles stack behind it and some blow their horns.

“Shit,” I whisper, then take one last look at myself in the full-length mirror in the corner of my room. The dress fits me like a glove, low cut and backless, leaving nothing to the imagination.

My nerves get the best of me, but I flip my bouncy, curled hair over my shoulders and take in a deep breath. After the quickest pep talk I can manage, I leave my loft.

As I descend the stairs, tourists stop and stare. My cheeks heat as a few teenagers take pictures of me. I’m getting adult prom vibes and the driver waits for me by the door.

The door of the stretch limo opens and Zane gets out. He floats across the sidewalk, his eyes laser focused on me, and I can’t help but smile. How is this my life?

Zane reaches out, giving me his hand before my high heel touches the ground. He leads me to the car, opening the door for me as my heart nearly flutters out of my chest. I take a step back, admiring him in his stark black suit and tie. His smoldering eyes stare at me like he’s Mr. Dreamy in the flesh.

“Hi, beautiful,” he says, looking like a fantasy.

“You’re here,” I say, sliding inside. I expected to meet him there.

“I couldn’t wait to see you.” He joins me, closing the door. Moments later, we zoom away.

“I’ve never met a man who’s admitted that.”

His brow quirks up. “You could’ve stopped that sentence after man.”

A chuckle escapes me. “Unfortunately true.”

I swim in his deep blues as he pours us both a glass of champagne. “You look… gorgeous .”

“Thank you for saying that.” A blush hits my cheek and I glance away from him, not able to maintain the intense eye contact for too long. “I can’t remember the last time I went out.”

“That changes now.”

“What shall we toast to tonight?” I swirl the golden liquid around the edges of the crystal.

“To your exes.”

My brows furrow

He continues, “For not realizing what they had.”

We lightly tap our rims together and sip the sweet bubbly as my body blazes from the inside out. “Do you mean that?”

“Fuck yes I do,” he states. “I speak what I mean, Pumpkin. Especially with things like that. Who has time for bullshit?”

“Is this real?” I sit in the moment, waiting to be ripped away and to wake up in my bed. Instead, we continue down the street in the back of the stretch limo.

“This time you’re living the dream.” He chuckles. Since meeting him, my life has been a whirlwind and my head is spinning.

Is this…is he too good to be true? I try not to think about that.

“It’s that déjà vu feeling again,” I admit.

By his expression, my admission pleases him. “Can’t wait to read more about it.”

I haven’t forgotten his offer, but I also haven’t shared it with my friends, either. It all seems a little unreal and will take some processing. Considering I’ve kept a journal with summaries of all my Mr. Dreamy fantasies, it shouldn’t be too hard.

“If I can do it,” I say, not completely convinced yet.

“You can.” There is zero doubt in his tone.

“I’ll try.” That's all I can do. “No guarantees.”

When the limo arrives at the resort, he slides out of the car, holding out his hand for me. I take it, my cheeks heating when I look up into his eyes. Once on my feet, I realize I’m a tiny bit tipsy, which I appreciate because it calms my nerves.

The gigantic fountain dances in the distance and the cool breeze whips around me, cooling me off. Which is something I need, considering my body is on fire. I glance back at Zane and notice him studying me from behind. He moves forward, his fingertips gently trailing down the center of my back, causing every inch of me to fully ignite. My skin singes where he touches and I don’t want him to stop.

A man strolls past us and stares at me, but I ignore it.

Zane blocks me from view. “I don’t like anyone looking at you like that.”

I turn to him. “Jealous?”

“Mm. No. I know who you belong to.”

I meet his eyes and I swear they darken. “Already staking claim?”

“Fuck yes. I absolutely am.” He’s confident, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the thought of that, of him taking ownership of me. Is that the champagne talking?

I grin, turning back to the fountain, and we finish watching the water and light show. It goes off every hour when the weather is nice. As a kid, I remember begging my parents to drive to the mountaintop to let me watch it. It’s comparable to the one at the Bellagio. One day I’ll visit Vegas.

“Do you want men lusting after you like that?” he asks.

“After my dry spell, I don’t mind. It’s somewhat empowering, but I know it won’t lead to anything.” I turn and face him. “I’m kissable, just not fuckable enough. Everyone chickens out.”

He focuses on me. “I actually love to hear that.”

I groan. “It’s been two years. I thought by now I’d have found someone who wants to spend time with me. I’m convinced I’m unwanted.” My truths spill out.

He eliminates the space between us and tucks hair behind my ear. “Your feelings are valid, but I don’t think that’s true.”

“I’ve tried.”

He narrows his eyes. “Have you? If I recall, I had to threaten you with jail to befriend me. I can’t imagine how you’d act had I mentioned wanting to date you. Actually, I can. I bet you would’ve told me to get fucked.”

A small smile touches my lips. “Probably.”

“You’re fucking adorable.” He boops my nose, then wraps his arm around me. “Let’s go inside.”

There is an unexplainable spark with a deeply rooted sense of understanding.

“Tell me one of your secrets,” I say as we stroll down the sidewalk that leads to the five-star restaurant.

“Hmm,” he ponders, glancing over at me. “You’re the first person I’ve ever shared a soul connection with.”

“A soul connection,” I repeat. “That's one way to describe it.”

There is an invisible rope that always pulls us together. The odd sense of familiarness, like I’ve always known him. We’re strangers, I remind myself. Perfect strangers.

“It’s undeniable,” he admits. It’s not one sided, even if I try to convince myself otherwise.

Butterflies flutter in my belly when he steals a glance. I don’t know what to say, so we stroll in the comfortable silence.

Ground lights illuminate the path toward the restaurant and it creates a romantic ambience as music plays overhead. Muffled chatter surrounds us as couples walk in and out of the building. The Lodge requires reservations months in advance, and most people who dine here come for special occasions.

Flames dance in the large lanterns on both sides of the entrance. When we’re close, a man in a tuxedo opens the door and we’re escorted inside. The room is low-lit, and a woman dressed in black greets us. Her eyes slide up and down Zane. I don’t like the way she lusts over him, and I fully understand his earlier reaction when the roles were reversed.

“Hello,” she says with a brow arched at him. She acts as if I’m invisible and looks straight past me. “Reservation?”

“For Alexander.” Zane's tone was flat. Unamused.

“Alexander.” The woman repeats, returning to the podium to open a leather-bound book. She speaks to him like he’s a tourist.

Over the years, I’ve only eaten here a few times. Two hundred dollar meals aren’t something I can afford on my barista budget, but the food is well worth it.

“ Zane Alexander ,” he snaps with annoyance in his tone, and I see recognition flash in her eyes as he gives me his full attention. I smile as he twirls a strand of my hair around his finger. “You’re so pretty.”

Moments later, when she approaches, her attitude is pleasant, but he’s stand-offish and pretends like she doesn’t exist. He makes her wait for two solid minutes before acknowledging her.

Once he's satisfied, he turns to her, narrowing his eyes, then checks his watch.

“Did you have issues finding it?” This man is intimidating.

“No, Mr. Alexander. Please, accept my apologies,” she offers.

“If we could be seated now, I’d appreciate it,” he snaps.

She fumbles with the menus as she leads the way.

“After you.” He holds out his hand for me to go first.

Heads turn, watching us like we’re royalty. When he notices, Zane pulls me closer toward him. Someone lifts their phone and takes a photo. The flash gives them away. Then I see another person do it, too.

“Zane Alexander,” I hear a woman whisper, and more people notice us. He interlocks his fingers with mine, then slightly increases his pace enough for me to notice. The spotlight isn’t a place I’ve ever stood and I don’t think I want to.

He whispers in my ear, “Ignore them.”

When she removes the private rope from the stairs that lead up to the balcony that overlooks the golf course and mountains, I almost gasp as I climb them. It’s where celebrities and world leaders dine and it costs over $10,000 to book. I've only dreamed about what it must be like to experience this.

Zane allows me to go first, and I glance over my shoulder at him. His brow pops and I smile, continuing to the next level. When we’re close to the table, he pulls the chair out for me, then sits to my right. His hand rests on my thigh as leather-bound menus with golden-gilded pages are slid in front of us. The display of candles in the middle flickers from the surrounding movement.

He glances over at me.

“Enjoy your visit, Mr. Alexander,” the hostess states with a curtsey. He nods, giving her nothing else, and she immediately leaves.

“Did you have to be like that?”

“She was a bitch toward you. So yes, I had to be like that. Be grateful I didn’t fire her on the spot,” he says it nonchalantly.

I watch him, knowing he’s serious. “Do they all greet you like royalty?”

“Yes,” he says, focusing on the menu. “Even royalty.”

My lips part, and maybe I’m just as guilty as the woman who sat us and I don't realize the magnitude of this man. “Who are you?”

“The heir of Xander Resorts and Enterprises. A total asshole. I’m also a brother. A son. A kick ass friend. Oh, and a damn good lover.”

He focuses on my mouth before meeting my eyes. “And a cock tease,” I add.

This makes him laugh. “I don’t want to rush anything. Especially not with you.”

We both focus back on our menus. The next time I steal a glance at him, he catches me. It’s nearly impossible to hold back a smile. Right now, I want to stare and admire.

Moments later, Harper approaches and sits in the high-backed chair in front of Zane. “You’re early.”

I realize the table is set for four.

“By five minutes. You know I don’t like tardiness,” Zane states. “Your date?”

“He’s coming,” she says, lifting her hand and waving. I focus on Zane, and over his shoulder I see the last man on Earth I expected to find walking up the stairs: Sebastian. He’s zeroed in on me then he waves at Harper.

Zane hasn’t noticed because he’s staring at me. “You tensed. Are you okay?”

“I—.”

“Hello,” Sebastian states as he slides into the seat across from me. I study the menu as my heart rate increases. He shouldn’t be here.

“Look who I ran into earlier,” Harper states. “Oh, how rude of me. Sebastian, this is Autumn. My brother’s girlfriend.”

Zane wraps his arm around me, glaring at Sebastian. “Why are you here?”

“I invited him,” Harper says, giving her brother a dirty look. “Where are your manners?”

“Manners?” He stares at her, and before anything else can be said, a server walks over carrying a bottle of Chardonnay.

“From management,” she states as she pours it into the crystal wine glasses that are already in front of us.

I pick up my glass, overly aware that Sebastian is staring at me. Zane wraps his arm around me and whispers in my ear, “Say the words and we’ll leave.”

I smile, placing my hand on his thigh and squeezing. “I need to go to the ladies’ room.”

I need to escape.

“Okay.” Zane nods and I excuse myself from the table. Seeing Sebastian in public differed from having to sit across from him during a dinner that I was looking forward to. He shouldn't be here.

In the past, I’d dreamed of having his attention. Now, I don't want it and it feels like a nightmare I can't escape from. I move into the stall, pulling my phone from my wristlet and I group text my best friends.

Autumn

911

Blaire

I’m here.

Julie

Me too.

Autumn

Our date was going great until Zane's sisters showed up with Sebastian!

Blaire

Uhh…

Julie

WHAT?

I sigh.

Autumn

So, if this was a choose-your-own-adventure, would you choose option 1: go back and flirt with Zane so hard it drives Sebastian insane or option 2: go back and tell Zane it's time to leave.

Blaire

Option 1

Julie

Option 2

Autumn

See. You two can’t even agree.

Blaire

So do both?

Julie

Yea! Flirt hardcore and leave before dinner arrives because you’re sooooo DTF.

A smirk spreads across my lips. 100% down to fuck.

Autumn

That might actually work. I’ll keep you updated.

I shove my phone back into my tiny purse, then make my way down the hallway lit by hanging chandeliers. Moments later, my arm is gently being grabbed from behind. I spin around, not expecting to be face-to-face with my ex.

“Don’t touch me,” I say, pulling away from him and taking a step back.

His brows rise. “I’m sorry. I was calling your name, but you didn’t stop.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

His eyes scan me from head to toe. “I’m glad you received my gift.”

“Excuse me?”

“Did the note not come with the shoes and dress?”

The world around me crumbles and my heart races harder.

“No,” I state, freezing in place, unraveling what he said.

Sebastian sent this, not Zane. The low cut slit in the back now feels too revealing.

“I had it made for you, Autie, when I was in Canada. I couldn’t get you off my mind. And you know…” he says, studying my body again. “It fits you exactly as I imagined it would. Fuck, you look so good. I was hoping to be the man to peel it off of you tonight.”

I want to disappear as I cross my arms over my chest, wishing I could rip every inch of expensive silk and beads off of me. Understanding I’m wearing the dress he sent me makes me sick at my fucking stomach. “I’m with Zane now.”

“I don’t see a ring on your finger.” He takes a step forward, closing the protective space between us. “I know you haven’t stopped thinking about me.”

“Stop. You had your chance, and you royally blew it.”

“It won’t last,” he says. “You and Zane. Pfft.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know him better than you can ever imagine. He’ll start ignoring you. Gets too busy. Then waits for you to cheat and blames you for not being satisfied. He’s done it with every single one of his exes. You’re next. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Hm. That actually sounds like what you do, except you do the sleeping around, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Autie—”

“Don’t use my nickname like we’re friends. We aren’t. Not anymore.”

“That’s why I want to talk to you in private, so we can work through it.”

“Please, listen to me carefully when I say this: there is nothing left for us to repair. I begged you to go to couples' therapy. I wanted to marry you, but you wanted to see other people.”

“We wanted to see others.”

“No, we fucking didn’t. Don’t you dare try to rewrite history. I was there. You hurt me.”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “I know I messed up. But I deserve another chance to make it up to you. We were so good together.”

“Were we?” I glare at him. I remember the times I made dinner and ate alone because he was too busy. There were so many canceled dates I lost count. After a while, I stopped making plans. The person I became when I was with him isn’t who I am. Or who I ever want to be again. I don’t know that version of myself anymore.

“I won’t give up on us until you’re married. I hope you know that. I’ll be waiting for you and Zane to end it.”

I narrow my eyes. The fucking audacity.

Moments later, a firm hand is on my waist.

“Hey, beautiful. Are you okay?” Zane asks in my ear, but I hear the concern in his tone. His fingertips brush outside of my arm.

I turn and face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Much better now.”

Then I gently press my lips to his. At first, he tenses as if he wasn’t expecting it, then immediately reciprocates. Our tongues slide together and the world threatens to disappear as my bare back presses against the cool wall.

I hear Sebastian mutter something under his breath and a few seconds later, we pull away.

Zane watches me. “What happened?”

“I thought you sent me this dress.”

His brows furrow. “I?—”

“Sebastian did.”

With a clenched jaw, he exhales slowly. “Can we leave, please?”

“Yes, I’d very much appreciate that.”

Zane grabs my hand, guiding me down the hallway. “Fuck him,” he seethes.

I enjoy his protective side and that he even noticed.

“You’re mine, Autumn,” he confirms as an electric current hums between us.

“At least until January.” It was our deal. The thought comforts me like a warm blanket in the winter, and I hold on to the time we’ve confirmed we’ll be together.

We walk through the restaurant, past the host stand, then we’re outside. I suck in fresh air, noticing the temperature has dropped ten degrees since our arrival. When the sun fully sets on the mountain, that happens. I shiver and Zane removes his suit jacket and places it over my shoulders, covering my bare back. It’s warm and smells like him. I feel safe and my self-consciousness fades away.

The white suit shirt bulges at his biceps and hugs him around his tapered waist. Zane Alexander is what dreams are made of. Is that ironic?

As we stand at the pick up area, instrumental music plays over the loudspeaker.

“This song reminds me of my teenage dirtbag years.”

I chuckle. “I couldn’t name it, but also, I don’t believe you.”

“There are pictures to prove I had a phase. Dance with me,” he says, holding out his hand.

“Right here?” I ask with a chuckle, but I take his hand anyway, wanting the distraction.

He gives me a smile and pulls me in close, nuzzling his face into my hair as he inhales.

“I’d dance with you in Hell,” he admits. “You’re so damn beautiful.”

Confidence drips from him as he spins me, bringing me back to his chest. My body relaxes and everything around us vanishes. Nothing matters. Not the dress, not my dumb-as-fuck ex. No, right now, it’s just us.

I breathe him in, losing myself in the moment, wishing the song would last forever. After a few minutes, it ends. He twists me one final time and lets me go. He’s charming and has it down to a science.

“Thanks for pulling my mind away,” I say.

“Anytime.” He unlocks his phone and types something, then shoves it back into his pocket. He reads me like a book and memorizes each page.

“How’d you know I needed it?” I whisper as he stands close.

“I could feel you shutting down. Don’t push me out,” he says, hooking his finger with mine.

And he’s right. My head is still swimming.

“I should’ve walked with you.”

“No, I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asks with a brow popped. “Because I don't think I'll ever let you out of my sight again.”

I grow quiet, squeezing my eyes tight for a brief moment.

“Zane,” I hear from behind us, and it’s Harper. She uses the sidewalk as her runway as she struts toward us like a supermodel. I’m blown away by how beautiful everyone in his family is.

“Are you not staying for dinner?” Harper asks, confused.

“No. I won’t be around Sebastian Holmes and neither will Autumn.”

Harper glances between us. “What piece of information am I missing? You two were friends. You competed together for years.”

“That’s Autumn’s cheater ex. It’s a hard fucking no.”

My mouth slightly parts as I suck in air. “What? Is that true? Confirmed?”

Everything freezes.

Zane turns his full attention to me. “I’m sorry. Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Old memories flood in. There were countless late nights when Sebastian came home and immediately showered, but I could still smell the alcohol on him.

Julie encouraged me to hire a private investigator, but I didn’t. It was almost better not knowing, that way I could continue living in delulu land. What I don’t know couldn’t hurt me and my love for him made me pathetic.

Zane turns to Harper, straightening his stance. “I won’t watch him eye fuck her all night.”

How many lies had Sebastian fed me that I stupidly swallowed down?

“Can I give you a hug?” Harper asks, pulling my thoughts back to them.

I nod and she squeezes me tight. She smells like citrus and sugar.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

“No, no need to apologize. You didn’t know,” I say, sucking in cool air, trying to ground myself.

She focuses back on me and I realize her eyes are the same color as Zane’s. The color of their mother’s. “Things are turning around for you and soon, you’ll be happier than you ever imagined, so don’t let this get you down, okay? Don’t get lost in your head about the past. Your heart is on the correct path. You know what you want and what’s right. Don’t be afraid to fight for it.”

“Is this one of your predictions?” I ask.

She grins wide. “Oh, Zane told you?”

“Yeah,” I say, meeting her eyes, wanting to ask her a million questions.

“You’ll know when it’s the right time,” she says.

“For what?” I ask.

“You’ll know.” Harper gives me a wink and then glances at Zane.

“I have zero doubt about you two,” Harper says. “Anyway, I hope you have a happy birthday, big brother.”

She takes a step forward and hugs him tight. “Can we get together at Dad’s wedding?”

“Sure,” he says as the limo arrives. “But no assholes are allowed.”

“Sorry to ruin your night. I will settle this,” she offers and turns on her heels.

Zane smirks. “I’d tell you to go easy on him, but?—”

“We both know that won’t happen,” Harper says like she's going to seek revenge. “You two have an incredible night. I fly out in the morning.”

“Text me,” Zane tells her.

The door opens and I move inside first. Zane follows.

As we zoom away, I want to cry, but I’m out of tears. I’m fucking angry that Sebastian embarrassed me like that, knowing I have a boyfriend. Even if it’s fake, he disrespected it. Moments pass.

“Are you okay?” He asks with concern in his voice.

“I am now.”