Chapter 8

chapter eight

A nger and irritation bubbled just beneath Jensen’s flesh. As he followed Micah back up the stairs, he flexed his hands over and over. It was one of his ways of dealing with stress. He wanted a fix. Anything, even just a shot of whisky would work. It was the first time in years he craved the oblivion that only alcohol or drugs could bring him. His entire body seemed to pulse with the need to get high.

No. It wasn’t that. This was different. It wasn’t the slightly sick feeling he had when he needed a fix. The anger was there, but there was also a bit of excitement. It was Nicola and the secret she had kept from him.

“Take a seat,” Micah said.

Jensen continued to pace and ignore him. What the fuck did she think she was doing? Lying to him…making him think that she knew very little about the life. Of course, she did suggest it to him when he was having issues while she was his sober companion.

It might help you with your control issues. From what I understand, you would be in complete control of the situation unlike in regular life.

Of course, she knew that. She was in the life . Worse, the fact that she could read him so well infuriated him.

“Wulf, sit down.” This time he used a voice that was definitely not his easy-going club owner voice.

Jensen stopped and sat in the chair in front of the desk.

“I can’t reveal everything about Kitty.”

“Nicola.”

“Here, she’s known as Kitty. I can tell you we’ve been friends for about six years.”

“Six years?”

He nodded. “She always wanted to keep the friendship a secret. Her choice not mine. Beyond the fact that she is indeed a submissive, I really don’t feel right about revealing anything else. You need to talk to her.”

“Bloody hell,” he said as he pushed a hand through his hair. When he brought it down, he realized it was shaking. Anger was replaced with confusion. “I can’t believe she did this and kept it from me.”

“It wasn’t any of your business.”

He frowned at the club owner. “The hell it isn’t. She’s my…assistant.”

Micah leaned back in his chair, a small smile curving his lips. “That’s it? Your assistant? I have a hard time believing that’s all she is to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re mighty upset over her being a member of this club.”

“And?” he asked in a tone that was just a bit defensive.

“You need to ask yourself what it means for the two of you. It will change your relationship since you’re attracted to her.”

“Bullocks.”

“Really? Because you’ve come in here twice since you’ve been back on the island. Haven’t even picked up a sub. Dawn and Donna were in here asking about you tonight. And let me guess, you aren’t even interested?”

He didn’t answer the question because he couldn’t lie. He’d had a great time with both women last time he had been on the island. Now…nothing. Not one ounce of interest for either woman. And it didn’t make sense. They were both amazing subs who liked to push their limits. He had anticipated seeing them again.

“I suspected as much.” Micah leaned forward. “Listen, I was in the same position as you a few years ago. It will be much easier for you and everyone else around you if you just give in.”

“There are issues. She works for me.”

He grinned. “Yeah, that was one of my issues too.”

It was then Jensen knew Micah was talking about his wife.

“I’m not marriage material.”

“I didn’t say it would end in marriage, but if you want her this much, you might want to step over that line. It might be good for both of you.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Still, you will have to deal with the situation. Letting it go will just cause even more problems.”

“Fine.”

“Are you going home now?”

“Yes,” he said, suddenly feeling tired. “I need a good night’s rest.”

“Better to deal with it in the morning.”

He didn’t know if he could wait until the morning, but he decided not to argue with Micah. Jensen wasn’t in the mood for more advice.

He made his way out of the club and texted John. It only took a couple minutes for his driver to arrive out front.

“Short night, sir,” he remarked.

“Too tired and not interested at the moment. Let’s make our way home, John.”

Jensen slipped into the car.

“Of course,” he said, shutting the door.

As they drove home, John didn’t try to talk. A sign of a good driver. He knew when Jensen didn’t want to talk.

Instead, he opened his window letting the cool Hawaiian night air drift over him. He had to deal with Nicola and this lie between them. He knew he didn’t have a right to know everything about her life. She was his employee, like John. He had no idea what kind of woman John liked, or if he even liked women. Nicola was different than John, than anyone else in his life. She’d made sure he didn’t step over that line, and the one time he did, she was there to help him through the recovery. Why hadn’t she told him? She hadn’t shared this part of her life, as if he wasn’t good enough to know about it.

Nicola was secretive about only one thing: her last few years of skating and her relationship with Oliver. Or at least, he thought there was only one thing. She had been a submissive longer than he had been a Dom. That was why she knew it would be good for him and his control issues.

And why was she a sub? He would think she would make an excellent Domme. Hell, the woman liked to control everything in her life—and his. If anything, he knew it originated with that Oliver chap. Something had been off there, but since she wouldn’t talk about those last few years, he never asked.

How was he going to deal with this? They would have to talk about it. He couldn’t hint because she would divert any discussion of her love life with sarcasm. He would be forced to confront her. They might not ever have a D/s relationship…

Fuck, that wasn’t true. He had wanted her before, craved her in fact. Now, it was going to be hard to resist at least one session with her. Hell, he was getting hard just thinking about it. It was wrong, and he didn’t believe in shagging their employees. Still, this was different. They were different. It was complicated and there was nothing he could do to fix the issue. If she said no, he would go with her decision.

But at the moment, he wanted one thing: Nicola under his control and at his mercy.

* * *

A soft breeze filtered over Nicola just as she was waking up. She could smell the sea and flowers. She drew in a huge breath, then released it as she took stock of her body. Her head was clear. Just one drink these days was enough to make her sleepy, and that was why she had used a taxi service for her trip into Honolulu. Still, she felt great.

She opened her eyes and realized the sun had already risen over the horizon. For the first time in a long time, she dawdled in bed. Usually she was up and going right off the bat, but with Jensen still in Maui, she had little to do today.

She thought about last night. It had been fun to see Micah’s club, but she’d hoped to make a connection, even if only for a night. But no Dom had interested her. She’d walked into that club and instantly started coming up with excuses why none of them would suit. Even as Micah had suggested one or two of them, she had reasons why the Dom was wrong for her. Too tall, too dark, too…American. So, she’d headed to the bar for a drink, knowing that kept her from playing for the night.

There was a knock at the door and she thought it would be Marta.

She pulled her covers up over her bare breasts, since she’d only slept in her panties.

“Come in.”

When the door opened, she was shocked to see Jensen there. He was still wearing his blue silk robe and pajama pants, but his chest was bare. She tried not to notice the thin line of hair that bisected his abs, then disappeared beneath the waistband of his pajamas.

“Nicola?”

She forced herself to look up at his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I came home last night.”

She blinked. “You weren’t here when I got home for the evening.”

“No.” His mouth curved. “I stopped off at Rough ’n Ready.”

For a moment, her brain shut down. He was at Rough ‘n Ready? Shit. She cleared her throat.

“Is that a fact? Did you have a good time?”

Until then, he had stood near her door, but now he walked into the room. His bare feet made no noise as he padded across the wood floor.

“I did, in a way.”

Her heart sank. And why should that happen? If he was occupied with another sub, she could get on with her search for a new Dom to play with.

“You found a sub to play with?”

“I guess you could say that, although I didn’t get to talk to her.”

Jensen settled down on her bed and smiled at her. She frowned. He was acting odd, even for him. He might come into her room, but he had never invaded her space this way.

“What do you mean?”

“Micah let me into his office last night. I got to see the whole club, and I saw one woman who particularly intrigued me.”

She sat mute as he inched closer. She could smell the familiar scent of his favorite aftershave. It wasn’t overpowering.

“Do you want to know what intrigued me?”

She shrugged, then after a moment nodded.

“First, it was the outfit she was wearing. She was dressed in black latex and wore a mask. Then, it was the way she moved. Very elegant. And I know only one woman who moves that way, mainly because she spent most of her life on the ice.”

The bottom dropped out of her stomach. He had seen her and known it was her.

“Are you insane?”

“Maybe,” he said.

“That was not me.” Did Micah rat her out? She was going to read him the riot act if he did. Then she would tell Dee, who scared Micah more than Nicola ever could.

His eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”

“How do you know it was me just by the way I move?”

“I’ve known you up close and personal for four years, Nicola, I know how you move. I have also watched some of your old performances.”

She blinked, surprised by that answer. “You’ve watched my old skating videos?”

He didn’t move his gaze from hers as he nodded. “But that wasn’t all I saw.”

Nicola waited as he moved closer. The way he kept invading her space irritated her. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” he asked, his voice playful.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, and I don’t appreciate it.”

He stopped and moved a little away. “I apologize.”

His tone was sincere, so she accepted it with a nod. When he didn’t continue on, she waited. The silence stretched, and she knew that it was a power move. She had been in the life long enough to recognize it. She had used it during business meetings, but for a man like Jensen, he would use it mainly for play. He was waiting her out and even knowing that, she couldn’t resist responding.

“You said you saw something else that convinced you that this woman was me.”

His lips twitched. “Yes, I did. By the by, are you naked beneath those sheets?”

“No.” That was the truth at least.

“Back to your trip to Rough ‘n Ready.”

“I wasn’t there. You think I was there.”

He gave her a look of pity. “You can’t deny me. I know it was you.”

“How on earth do you know it was me?”

He studied her a long moment before saying. “Your eyes.”

“What?”

“It was your eyes. No one on earth has eyes that shade of blue.”

It took all her power not to cross her arms and stare him down. Of course, if she did that, she would probably expose her breasts. She sniffed instead.

“I doubt that.”

Even though she knew it was an uncommon shade of blue, especially with her dark hair.

“No one I’ve seen lately. So, do you want to explain to me why you’ve been a submissive all these years and not told me?”

She wanted to keep arguing with him, but she didn’t see a point. Still, she could gain some ground on him.

“I will but not here. I want to freshen up and get dressed first.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Okay, but don’t be long. I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

Irritation slipped through her entire body. He waited until she nodded. Then he rose from the bed and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a click. She fell back against the pillows, her head swirling with what had just happened.

Now that he knew she was a submissive, what did that mean for their relationship? He had never made any advances toward her before this. It was one of the things that had made their working relationship so wonderful. He respected her for who she was and what she did.

She grabbed her phone and hit Serenity’s number.

It took three rings before her friend answered. “You hate me. Why do you call so early?”

“Because Jensen just invaded my bedroom and told me he saw me last night at Rough ‘n Ready.”

“What?” Serenity shouted into the phone. There was a mumble of male voices behind her. “Jensen caught her at the club. Go away and make me coffee. Go on.”

“Kind of bossy for a woman I know is a submissive.”

“Just like you. I’m okay with being controlled in bed, but I control my life. So, he caught you?”

“No. He saw me. He didn’t confront me until this morning.”

There was silence on the other end.

“Serenity?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking what his reaction was.”

“Not sure, but I’m going to punch Micah if he was the one who told on me.”

“Oh, he wouldn’t do that. Right?”

She sighed. “Before now, I always trusted him. Kind of hard not to considering our history.”

“Yeah. So how did he figure out it was you? God, you weren’t in one of the viewing rooms?”

“No. First, I would never do that. I’m not that adventurous. He saw me on the security screen in Micah’s office and said he recognized me.”

“With your mask and stuff?”

“Yes. He claims it was the way I moved through the crowd.”

“The way you moved?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

Then nothing. “Serenity?”

“Okay, don’t get mad at me, but I’ve been thinking he’s been sweet on you for a while. The guys are convinced of it too.”

“What do they know? They’re men.”

Serenity snorted. “True, but it was the way he talked about you in front of them.”

“I think your pregnancy hormones are affecting all of your brains.”

Serenity giggled. “That or too much sex. So, just the way you moved? Kind of romantic.”

“No, he also saw my eyes.”

“That makes sense.”

“Stop taking his side.”

Another pause. “Nicola, are you okay?”

She blew out a breath and watched her bangs dance before answering. “I’m not sure. He wants to discuss it.”

“Discuss what?”

“That I hid this for all these years.”

“Your business. But I thought you did it the last couple of years on purpose. Like, you would be afraid if he found out.”

“What the bloody hell do you mean?”

“Please, tell me the last Dom you were with? Or at least how long ago? It’s been a few months and that’s not like you, babe.”

“I’m in a funk.”

“Sure.”

“Okay, so I’ve had a few…dreams.”

“I knew it. You’re in looooove.”

Fear pressed a heavy hand on her chest, and she suddenly found it hard to take a breath. She closed her eyes. She would never make that mistake. Not again. Soon enough, her breathing eased but the fear remained.

“Nic?”

“I’m here, and you’re insane.”

“Why?”

“In love? I am not that stupid.”

“Why, because you believed in the wrong man once?”

Exactly. “I don’t have time to talk about Oliver, or anything else other than what to say to Jensen.”

“I don’t know. I’d definitely offer my body up to him if I were you. I’ve heard stories.”

“What kind of stories?”

“From a few of the subs at Rough ‘n Ready. He’s considered one of the best unattached Doms.”

Damn, Serenity just had to go and say that to her. Now, she would want to know. Of course, she wanted to know. She’d been fantasizing for months about it, and now…

“Nicola!”

“What?”

“God. Okay, I am going to let you go because there is coffee and I can smell bacon. Call me later and tell me what happened.”

“Sure. Bye.”

She clicked her phone off and then decided to take a shower. She was definitely going to take all the time she could before she had to face Jensen. It made her a bit of a coward, but there was one thing Jensen needed to learn: she was a submissive in the bedroom only, but not outside of it.