Chapter 9

chapter nine

J ensen controlled his emotions—or tried to at least. He wanted to pace his office, but decided to concentrate on his work, which lasted all of thirty minutes. He’d heard the shower turn off ten or fifteen minutes earlier, and now he waited.

Why was he waiting? Normally, he wouldn’t. As a Dom, he controlled the situation. But, as he thought the night before, this was different. She was different. Also, she was as affected by him as he was by her. She wanted him. He would never step over the line without permission.

“Marta?” Nicola called out.

“I gave her the day off,” he said just loud enough for her to hear.

She appeared in the doorway to his office. She wore her hair slicked back in what he called her battle bun. It was the hairstyle she wore when she wanted to kick someone’s arse. The only thing free from confinement were her bangs. The red sundress she wore was one he had seen before, and it was enough to drive him insane. It didn’t show much skin, only enough to entice him. The soft fabric hugged her curves. His palms itched. He wanted to follow those lines with his fingers, mouth…every single body part that would work.

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Tell Marta not to come in?”

“I told her to take the day off, with pay. We didn’t need her.”

“Please tell me the coffee I smell was not made by you.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Your coffeemaking skills suck.”

“I only turned the coffeemaker on, Marta set it up last night.”

“Thank God,” she said, spinning around and heading to the kitchen.

“Please, just call me Jensen.”

He heard a grumble from her but couldn’t make it out. She returned just a moment later, walked into his office and sat in one of the two chairs in front of his desk.

“So, talk.”

He knew this Nicola. She manipulated a lot of their conversations. Most of the time, Jensen was okay with it. He knew she did it to move their work along. She almost always had his best interest at heart. This was different.

“I think you are mistaken about this conversation.”

She swallowed her coffee. “How so?”

“I have questions, and they will be answered.”

She frowned. Jensen didn’t care if she was brassed off. She would have to learn to deal with his authority. When she said nothing, he took that as his cue to continue on.

“First, you’ve been a sub for six years?”

She nodded but said nothing else.

“And you knew Micah before you knew me?”

She nodded again.

“How?”

“We were both in the life.”

He felt it was more than that, but he didn’t want to push her just yet. They had no agreement. “But you never thought to tell me.”

“It’s personal. You don’t tell everyone about your sex life.”

“But I don’t hide it either. Also, I hate to point this out, but you knew about my sex life.”

“True, but it’s different.”

“Why?”

“You’re my boss. I know you can’t understand that, but it’s different if I know this about you.”

“That seems hypocritical.”

“How?”

“You know everything about me, but I know next to nothing about your life.”

“First, when I was your sober companion, I had to know all that stuff about you. And let’s be truthful, you know a lot about my life. Hell, my mother sometimes texts with you more than she does with me. So you know a good deal about my life, just not this small part of it.”

“Why not?”

“Okay, do you tell Marta about your new favorite sub?”

“I don’t have a new favorite sub…yet.”

Her frown turned darker. “What the bloody hell do you mean by that?”

“We’ll get to that later. I just thought since you suggested D/s relationships to me, that you would tell me about your own experience.”

“That would have been extremely awkward. I had only been working with you for a year when you had your one setback. It’s different now.”

“And still you didn’t tell me. Was last night your first night at Rough ‘n Ready?”

“Yes, actually. I wanted to see Micah’s club.”

He thought back to the way she was dressed and knew she was lying. “No. You were dressed to play, but I saw a drink in your hand, so you didn’t.”

She shrugged. He wanted more than that. He wanted to know exactly why she didn’t go out of her way to find a Dom for the evening. He was starting to suspect she’d done it a lot, all without him knowing.

“So, which was it?”

“Both. Once I got there, no one really interested me, so I picked up a drink.”

That was the truth from what he could tell, but there was something she was holding back.

“What are we going to do about this?”

She held her cup against her lips and studied him. “What?”

That was the way she was going to play it? The woman really was a piece of work. Jensen had to hand it to her. She was always so controlled, and now he knew she was a sub, she was too wonderful to resist. He hated subs who gave over too easily, and from the way this conversation was going, Nicola definitely wouldn’t be easy at all.

“This heat between us.”

Something flared deep in her eyes, but it was gone before he could figure out what it was. “I think you are mistaken.”

Every word was enunciated with precision. It was a direct challenge, and the Dom in him couldn’t—wouldn’t—let it go.

Instead of responding, he rose from his chair and walked around the desk. He took her coffee out of her hands and set it down behind him. Suddenly, he grabbed her hand and yanked her out of the chair. Her eyes widened as he slammed his mouth down on hers. She resisted for a second or two…then she moaned.

Her eyes fluttered closed as she opened her mouth to him. Jensen dove in, taking complete possession. She tasted of the coffee she had just drunk—and surrender. He lifted his hands to her face as he slanted his mouth over hers. The moment he felt her tongue slide against his, his entire body lit up. She slid her hands up his back as he took a step closer. Her entire body was pressed up against his. He shuddered as need took over. He wanted her, now, on his desk. It had been years since he’d felt like this. The overwhelming need to conquer, to have her at his mercy.

He forced himself to pull back. Her eyelids rose revealing eyes blurry with passion. He couldn’t find fault with her. His heart was beating out of control and his cock was standing at attention.

“Tell me now that there isn’t anything between us.”

She drew in a shuddering breath, then released it. “This is not a good idea.”

“I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

Her eyes searched his as if she could find an answer to some unknown question there. “It will complicate things.”

He dropped his hands but remained close. “True, we will just have to be careful. No play during work.”

“I only listen to commands in the bedroom.”

“Only the bedroom? I thought you were more adventurous than that.”

She shook her head, but her lips twitched. “I’m still worried about what this would mean for our working relationship.”

“We can handle it. Think about it, take your time.”

“How much time?”

“As much as you want. Also, we can set a time limit on our…collaboration,” he said. “Maybe for just the remaining time in Hawaii. That way we know there is an end date so to speak.”

The moment he proposed the idea, he wanted to dismiss it. Another week was not enough with her. That is what had worried him. Nicola wasn’t a regular sub to him. For months he had fantasized about her, about them together. Now, he was giving her permission to put her own time limit on it.

“Really? You’ll agree to that? Sure you will. You are never around long enough to form a long-lasting relationship.”

They had a relationship…a friendship of sorts. She had seen the ugly side of him, especially after his one fuck up, but she still stayed around. Nicola didn’t judge him, she supported him. If he fucked that up, he would never forgive himself. Even acknowledging that, he could not just walk away.

“You admit to wanting me as much as I want you.”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. It was a gesture he hadn’t seen, except in the old clips of her skating days.

“Yes, but?—”

His phone rang, and he couldn’t ignore it. It was his mother and she would just call Nicola.

“This isn’t over.”

She nodded. Jensen swooped in for another kiss before he released her.

“You know you may not get your way,” she said.

He smiled over the term ‘may not’. “But what fun we will have during the process.”

“I did not say yes.”

“You also did not say no.”

The ringing on his phone stopped. A second later, Nicola’s phone started to ring.

“Call your mother. I am not in the mood.”

With that, she turned away from him and walked out the door. As he watched her disappear around the corner, he almost sighed. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was definitely going to be enjoyable.

* * *

Nicola found the rest of the day almost unbearable. They had work to do, and while she wanted to just roll up in a ball in bed, she had duties to attend to. The worst thing about it was that Jensen seemed completely unaffected about the earlier kiss. She couldn’t concentrate and found her mind wandering back to the way she felt afterwards. Men had come and gone, but even her first kiss hadn’t made her dizzy like the kiss from Jensen. Even as they went over figures and information about the Johnson family, she couldn’t keep from looking at his lips. She could just imagine them as he kissed down her spine…

She consciously pulled herself away from that image.

“I think you need to call Robert. He might not be running everything now, but he’s still the patriarch of the family. He will see it as a sign of respect.”

“Very important to Hawaiians,” he said, without looking up at her.

“If there is nothing else, I need to make some phone calls.

He glanced up over those stupid reading glasses. Dammit, her panties were already damp, and it was getting worse.

“Sure.”

As she walked out of his office, she felt his gaze burning into her back. She hurried up the stairs to her room. She closed the door and leaned against it. Closing her eyes, she told herself that it was because she hadn’t had a man in months—even though she knew it wasn’t true. No man had ever been able to make her forget the entire world around her. Even the best of Doms hadn’t been able to, and she had had a lot of them.

Her eyes shot open. Speaking of Doms, she grabbed her phone and called Micah.

He picked up on the second ring. “I was wondering when you were going to call me.”

“Really? Like maybe a heads up would have been nice.”

“I thought you two should work it out on your own.”

“No, this is about Doms sticking together.”

There was a pause.

“Nic, are you okay?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t sound normal.”

“What the bloody hell does that mean?”

He chuckled. “Well, you’re yelling at me, and you never do that. Even with people you don’t like, and I think you still kind of like me.”

“I might change my mind.”

“Come on, Nic, you both needed a nudge.”

“Giving you permission to tell him who I was?”

“No. He figured it out.”

She snorted.

“I promise. On that little screen, he watched the way you moved and then he ran out the door.”

She walked over to her bed and sat down. “That’s what he said.”

“In my experience, if a man is that obsessed about a woman, he’s interested in more than a working relationship.”

“Oh, believe me, he told me that this morning.”

“Terms?”

“We haven’t talked much about those, but he did say something about ending when we left Hawaii.”

It was Micah’s turn to snort. “Yeah, sure.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. You two seem attracted to each other, so why not enter into an agreement? Is there something else stopping you?”

“Work. We would have to deal with each other afterwards.”

“That hasn’t been a problem before. You and I have no issues.”

“You’re special.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. What about that attorney in Hong Kong you told me about? You were working with him, and I am sure you continue to deal with him upon occasion.”

Dammit. One of the things that was wonderful about Micah was his intuitiveness. It was occasionally also one of the more aggravating aspects.

“True, but it’s different with Jensen.”

“Why?”

Because I might just be in love with him, and if it goes wrong, I’ll be beyond screwed up.

She didn’t say that though. She couldn’t, because if she said the words out loud, they might come true.

“I don’t see him every day. I also live with Jensen. Granted, the houses are usually huge, but still.”

“Hmm. So you don’t want to talk about it?”

Dammit.

“No. I don’t know.”

“Come on, Nic. You’re smart. What does he have that all of those other men didn’t? I remember asking you to come to Hawaii when I started my club and you turned me down flat.”

“And you should thank me for that. Dee is the only woman who could put up with you.”

“True. Still, you hold back from men all the time. Why is this man getting under your skin?”

“What do you mean?”

“Any other Dom of his caliber and you would say yes on the spot.”

“I told you. Work.”

He sighed. “I see you aren’t going to be honest with me.”

Guilt nudged at her. “I just haven’t worked through all of it yet.”

“Okay, but at least keep the option open. You two could be great together.”

“Or we could destroy a great working relationship.”

“If there is no risk, it’s just not worth it to try.”

She knew he was talking about his relationship with his wife Dee.

“Kiss that sweet wife for me and those babies. I have things to think about.”

“Sure thing. Call anytime.”

“I was nice. I could have called at six this morning, so behave yourself from now on, or I will.”

She hung up on his sputtering. The call made her feel even worse about the situation. She was ready to say no. She wanted him, but it wasn’t until this moment that she realized how much she valued his friendship. Nicola planned on leaving his employment someday, but she always thought they would remain friends.

Her phone buzzed in her hands. When she saw Serenity’s face on the screen, she knew she couldn’t avoid her.

“What do you want?”

“I was calling to see what went on today.”

“Well, he proposed we enter into an agreement.”

“Not surprised he did.”

“Until we leave the island.”

She snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“Why does everyone have that reaction?”

“Who else did you talk to? You told someone before you told me?”

“Calm down. I had to call Micah and find out what he told Jensen.”

“I guess I can deal with that. Okay, what’s the plan?”

“I had planned on saying no.”

“But?”

“That was before he kissed me.”

“What?! Did you tell Micah about that too? I swear, you really?—”

“Calm down. I didn’t tell him.”

“Good.” Then she sighed. “How was it?”

“Talking to Micah? Same as always.”

“Nicola!”

“Okay, it was hot, wet, and I couldn’t think straight for at least half an hour.”

“I knew it. You have to say yes.”

She rolled her eyes. Serenity still had daydreams and fantasies in her head. She claimed to be a realist, but she wasn’t. Not really. She was still the child star who dreamed of a happier life. At least she had it now with her guys. Serenity just couldn’t understand that not everyone got a happily ever after.

“No, I don’t. There are complications. Think about that.”

“Like what complications?”

“Like I work for him.”

“And?”

“That’s…well that could be bad. I mean, what happens if things go wrong? Think about how awkward it will be if one of us is ready to end it and the other isn’t?”

“Oh, honey, you’re in love with him.”

She fell back on her mattress and silently cursed best friends. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“If you are, you’re worried that after you leave the islands, he’ll just be back to being a Dom with others and you’ll be left out there on your own.”

Her heart sank. “Yeah. Oliver was hard enough to get over. And he sucked as a boyfriend. I know Jensen is an excellent Dom.”

“It’s more than that and you know it.”

She wanted to deny it, but she knew she couldn’t.

“Remember when I was trying to figure out what to do about the guys?” Serenity asked. “You told me to take a chance. You need to take a chance again. It’s been years since you’ve had a relationship.”

“I have relationships all the time.”

“You have sex. Albeit probably good sex, but not relationships. Those take time.”

“We have ten days left here.”

“And you have known him for four years. It will mean more.” She paused. “Unless you are a coward.”

“Don’t even try that with me, woman.”

“Why not? It works. Just think about it in the context of trying something new. You need to challenge yourself. I think your issue lately—which you have complained to me about—is that you find a lot of Doms boring right now. Maybe you need to try for a deeper connection. Maybe you and Jensen can find that.”

“Okay. I have to go now.”

“Why?”

“I have a lot to think about.”

Serenity laughed. “You do. Ta.”

Nicola clicked off her phone without responding.

Could she do this? Jensen had become an integral part of her life in the last four years. Jules had called her his binky, but there was a part of Nicola that understood it went both ways. They had lived in each other’s pockets almost from the beginning. Her attraction had started about a year earlier—surprising and embarrassing her. She couldn’t pinpoint the moment she started thinking of him differently, but he had started invading her dreams. And there were those moments when he would smile at her. Nicola swore her heart melted right then and there.

She thought through the pros and cons. And she arrived at one definite decision.

Before she could change her mind, she hurried out of her room and down the staircase. She arrived at Jensen’s office. He looked up at her—still wearing the reading glasses—and smiled.

Yep, there it was again. Her heart melted. “No work time play.”

“Understood.”

“We do not tell your family, and we keep this between us.”

He nodded. “No need to get them involved.”

“Then, I agree.”