Chapter 12

12

Iclung tightly to the idea of seeing Mike this weekend, to the point where it became the only bright spot in my future. Each day, each hour, became an obstacle to hurdle over in order to spend time with the boy I liked.

The boy I could never be with.

But I scrubbed that thought out of my head. Everything standing between us I reproachfully ignored.

The rest of the school week passed in a constant battering of tutoring, schoolwork, and kitchen work. Over and over and over again. I spent all of Friday and most of Saturday trying to catch up on assignments to stay ahead of the game, including some practice Juno sent home with me after tutoring.

Those? Yeah, I failed them too. All of them.

Still at my desk, with my butt going numb from sitting for so long, I glanced over at the bag of powdered brain boost from Raelynn. The brain boost helped, no doubt. It gave me the focus I needed to make it through the studying.

Damn, the bag looked a lot lighter than it had when she’d first given it to me. Had I really taken enough to make a visible difference? No. A couple of teaspoons this week, just as she’d told me, and nothing more because I didn’t want to risk becoming addicted. Or risk any of those crazy side effects she’d warned me about.

My brain fog thickened and I shook my head, grabbing the bag and shoving it in the desk drawer. I didn’t want to worry about side effects. At least not right now. There was always time later. In fact, that was how I’d gotten through pretty much all of my time in Faerie, by pushing those worries aside for another day.

I grabbed my water and took a long sip before putting the cup down. At least I’d made it through my homework without bending to the temptation. I wondered when it would all come and catch up with me. I had a bad feeling it would be soon. There was only so much I could sweep under the rug until there was no room left.

All of these things tried to come together in my head, and I felt like if I tried hard enough, I could almost grasp them and make them make sense.

I rose and stretched, then went into the bathroom, kicking off my pants and pulling off my shirt to shower. The reflection I glanced at in the mirror offered me a tired smile and didn’t even care how strands of red hair stuck out at every angle.

The Fae were supernaturally beautiful. Some of them were unaware, but most knew they had the power to stop traffic. Then there was me. Not bad looking, but nowhere near the ethereal good looks of the other inhabitants of this world. I swiped a hand across the surface of the mirror.

I wanted everything to be perfect tonight. Mike and I hadn’t gotten a chance to spend quality time with each other for months. My fault, I admitted, because I’d been trying to keep my distance. But he hadn’t been trying to bridge the distance either, hadn’t put in any effort, and I honestly thought he’d lost all interest in me.

I tried not to think about how terrible we’d both been at keeping our friendship alive this year. Then I tried not to think about the last time he’d almost kissed me, right outside of the portal to the Elite Academy. Or how badly I’d wanted to feel his lips on mine again despite trying to run away.

I undressed and hopped in the shower, set the temperature to scalding.

There was something magical about Mike, I thought as I scrubbed my hair. It had nothing to do with his blood or his title. It came from inside of him, from his good heart and his integrity. He was just a genuinely nice person who wanted the best for everyone around him. He always saw the best in me, at least.

What would he think if he knew how badly I’d botched the spells I’d been assigned to work on? Or the mountains of homework sent back with me? He’d laugh and wonder why he wanted me to tutor him in the first place.

With snow still on the ground, I didn’t feel like using the last remains of my energy to maintain the temperature around my body, no matter that the other kids at the party would be doing the same.

Instead I rustled through my dresser for one of my old, favorite outfits. I’d worn it a few times back in the mortal world and always felt like a million bucks. When Mike finally came to my room to get me, I had on a thick burgundy-colored sweater over tight black pants, and boots up to my ankles.

“Hi!” I said to him right away. Feeling sexy, sassy, and more excited than I had a right to be.

He stared at me, his eyes raking me up and down, his face taking on an odd expression so unusual that it took me a minute to realize he was excited.

“This is a good look for you,” he commented. “Very comfortable.”

My face dropped. Okay, maybe I was wrong about the excitement. Maybe it was embarrassment. “Comfortable is a nice word for looks like a hobo,” I said.

“No, definitely not.” His gaze warmed. “You are about as far from a hobo as one can get. The sweater really brings out your eyes.”

And now it probably clashed with my blush. “Well, thanks,” I told him. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Putting it mildly, I thought. He always looked amazing no matter what he wore. Tonight, in a black shirt and close-fitting jeans, I could have gobbled him up in one bite, big bad wolf style.

“Are you sure you want to go to Coral’s party, Tavi?” Mike shot me a pleading look. “Isn’t there anything else we can do instead of socializing?”

“What do you mean? I thought you wanted to go.”

He bit the inside of his lip, tapping his fingers against his hips. “I mean, we haven’t really seen each other. I kind of thought it would be nice to stay in and have a little time alone. We could watch a movie, eat whatever we wanted. You don’t even have to cook,” he offered.

Yeah, it sounded amazing. I wanted nothing more than to do everything he said. Still, I had to deal with Coral because I’d given her my word.

I had to wonder why I’d agreed to something so stupid instead of telling her to back off. Definitely must have been temporarily out of my mind. “Let’s compromise,” I said. Mike didn’t need to know how I’d already told Coral we couldn’t stay long. “We’ll go to the party just for a little bit and then we’ll spent the next three quarters of our evening alone. Doing whatever we want.”

He looked pretty pleased with the idea, which warmed my insides further as a smile formed on his lips. Wow. Just wow. No matter how hard I tried to stay away from him, he drew me in every single time.

Mike held out an elbow for me to take, and we walked down the hall together talking about classes. Coral didn’t live too far away from the castle, he told me as we walked. Her family owned a place a few blocks outside of the main courtyard with a view of the castle at all times. It suited her, honestly, because she’d always given me the impression of being a social climber. And that was putting it nicely.

Coral and her family were among the wealthier citizens of Eahsea. A step below the toadying courtiers who frequented the palace always on the lookout for more. Wealthy enough to have some control but not royal enough to hold an official title.

God, like Coral needed a title to lord over the rest of us.

“The Coldwaters are the same way,” Mike was saying.

Ah, he was talking about the leader of his little band of fake friends. Arlyss Coldwater, who thought his friendship with the crown prince put him above others.

“Social climbers?”

He nodded. “Arlyss is the youngest of five boys, all of them having attended the Elite Academy. He and I grew up together, in a way. I remember most of the Coldwaters being present and accounted for during every ball my parents threw. Every dinner, every occasion. They were first in line.”

I chided myself for feeling a trifle miffed at the way Mike knew exactly how to get to the Ferenze mansion. I reminded myself that he grew up here. These were his peers, his playmates. I was the new kid on the block, so to speak. He led the way, chatting merrily about our classmates, and knocking once on the large black door before pushing inside when no one answered. Once the door was open, the sounds of the party assailed us, voices raised in chatter and laughter, and flute music the likes of which I’d never heard before.

The place was full of people, close to a hundred faces and none of them familiar to me. The moment we stepped inside it was a different world, one I wasn’t completely prepared for and one I didn’t really want to be part of.

Great. We were the last to arrive and everyone noticed Mike instantly. We wouldn’t have gathered more attention had a spotlight fallen on us.

“Michael! It’s good to see you, buddy.” Arlyss the boy wonder separated himself from the crowd, a drink in hand, and clapped Mike on the shoulder. His habitual smarmy smile was in place, his dark hair perfectly styled and the rest of him starched to perfection. When I drew in a breath, I smelled nothing but elderberries.

Classic Arlyss.

I hated it.

“Where have you been? I thought for sure you’d be here when I got here.” Arlyss broke off on a laugh before Mike could answer. “You just wanted to make a grand entrance!”

I was ignored entirely. At least it didn’t bother me anymore. His initial ridiculing of the “half breed” had slipped into neutral indifference territory, which to me was better than hostility so I was fine with it.

Mike, surrounded by his full-blood social elite friends, seemed to grow broader, stronger. His shoulders puffed out and even his hair seemed a shade darker, like burnished gold. “No matter what time I arrive, I always make a grand entrance,” he boasted.

Arlyss laughed. “Took your time about it tonight.”

Mike grinned, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I didn’t realize anyone was keeping tabs.”

Arlyss of the dark wavy hair was a stark contrast to the golden prince at my side. I narrowed my eyes and noted Lane in the crowd along with several others of the inner circle. The ones who constantly crowded around Mike at school. Good to see he’d fit right in at the party. At least Lane was civil. He spoke to me face to face without anyone having to bribe him. One of the nicer students at the academy but still far from being a real friend. Best of the Fakes wasn’t a title to aspire to.

I tried to catch Mike’s attention to tell him I was getting a drink. But I couldn’t compete with Arlyss without jumping up and down and screeching. So I made my way through the packed hallway and into the heart of the home. The room opened up into a cathedral-like living space with flames roaring in the depths of a fireplace even larger than the king’s own. The mantelpiece alone must have weighed a thousand pounds, carved from stone quarried directly out of the surroundings mountains if I had to guess.

I veered right, toward the massive display of faerie and elven delicacies laid out. A fountain of ambrosia trickled down in three layers at the center of the table. Might as well. I mean, I’d take whatever I could get to soothe these nerves. I didn’t do well with large crowds and I never had. There must be more people packed into this house than the entirety of the Elite Academy enrollment.

I helped myself to a glass of ambrosia and the first sip warmed everything inside of me. Ten more minutes and I’d grab Mike. Long enough to put in a proper appearance as I’d promised. And then he was all mine…

My mind conjured a picture of the two of us snuggled together—anywhere, it didn’t matter—his arms around me. When I turned around, still clasping the glass in my hands, I saw Coral like a bright beacon in the center of the room. So much for me feeling comfortable and appealing tonight. I’d way underestimated the dress code. She’d gone to the extreme and clad her perfect form in a dress the same gold color as Mike’s hair.

My face twisted into a scowl. Coincidence? I didn’t think so.

The dress left most of her shoulders and chest bare, hugging her curves and trailing down into a pool of fabric on the floor. Even the dress I’d worn to the Solstice Ball paled in comparison to this gown. Real jewels were sewn into the seams and reflected the glittering firelight.

“You don’t like her, do you?”

I nearly choked on my ambrosia at the question, but Mike saved me by smacking me on the back. When had he found me? I didn’t even notice his approach.

“How did you know?” I croaked, looking up at him through teary eyes.

“You know, intuition,” he said with a laugh. “You’ve hidden it well but I know you. You’re the kind of girl who doesn’t give the time of day to someone she doesn’t find redeemable.”

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve hidden my dislike at all. At least I can say it is mutual and Coral knows where we stand with each other.”

Mike took a sip of his own ambrosia, keeping eye contact with me. “Which begs the question why you wanted to come here tonight.”

“I’m a sucker for punishment?” I suggested saucily.

“Ha! Yes, this I know. How long do you want to stay?”

Was it possible to leave right now? As far as I could tell, Coral hadn’t even seen Mike, but in my mind we’d stepped through the door and thus I’d upheld my end of the…bargain? No, not bargain, because I wasn’t getting anything out of it and a bargain benefited both parties, right?

“I’m ready to go whenever you say,” I told him and took another sip. Like liquid fire. Ambrosia was powerful stuff, much more potent than normal alcohol. I’d have to watch how much I drank or I’d put myself squarely in line for a night of bad decision making.

Then I looked up at Mike and saw his smile. Would a night of bad decision making be such a terrible thing? Suddenly I didn’t think so.

“I say we should help ourselves to some food, a little more of this,” Mike shook his empty glass, “and then we make a run for it. Those are all the typical date components, anyway.”

He thought I didn’t register how he’d sidled closer. Trying to be sly. Like I didn’t notice. Even if I’d had my eyes closed, my body would have recognized his nearness. Every fiber of me acknowledged his presence. “Is this a date?” I asked coyly.

He also thought I didn’t see how his fingers twitched at the word. “It depends on how you feel about the word. And about having one with me.”

Ah, the feeling when his voice dropped low, skittering along my nerves in a delicious way. I liked the idea more than I liked the way he looked at me. Which was a lot. The two of us on a date…

Yes. A hundred thousand times, yes.

“At the moment I feel pretty good about it.” I held my glass up for a toast, delighted when he touched his to mine with a clink.

“You two look pretty cozy over here.” Lane joined us at the food table. He flashed me a smile and grabbed a plate to start noshing. “What’s up?”

“Nothing for you to concern yourself with,” Mike said immediately, straightening his spine. “We’re entertaining ourselves in the middle of this free-for-all.”

Lane grabbed a bacon-wrapped fig and popped it into his mouth, speaking around the food. “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”

“I didn’t say bad,” Mike corrected.

“No, you said free-for-all. Which is equal to or worse than bad. At the very least you’re comparing Coral’s party with a circus. Which, now that I think about it, you might be right.” Lane surveyed the crowd. “Do we even go to school with half of these guys? A lot of unfamiliar faces. They’re probably friends of the family or relatives or something.”

Mike sighed. “No clue. I only know there are better places to be than stuck here in a room full of…these kinds of people.”

I glanced over at him, struck by the odd tone in his voice. These kinds of people? I mean, I thought about it constantly, but to hear it come out of Mike’s mouth, and in such a cold way? I didn’t really like what I heard. Or saw. There was a glint in his eyes, his fingers tapping the side of the glass.

I frowned. Something was up with Mike.

Memory thrust a picture before me of a tall auburn-haired man in an expensive suit in front of a room filled with other men in expensive suits. He’d had the same hard glint in his eyes. The same air of authority that compelled the others to listen to him and accept his opinions as if they were their own. My Uncle William was an excellent defense attorney. Absolutely cutthroat.

“Well, at any rate, I’m going to hit the rest of the buffet and enjoy the spread Coral laid out. She’s really outdone herself, in my opinion.” Lane shifted farther down the table and when I glanced over again at Mike, I saw him smiling at me once more.

“What was that?” I asked.

He quirked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“The quick switch. I didn’t realize you were such a talented actor.”

He shrugged. “Just giving Lane what he expects.”

Mike didn’t seem to see anything weird abut his haughty behavior, or the way he so easily affected it like putting a coat on and taking it off. But it really freaked me out.

I finished the rest of my ambrosia and he moved to refill for me.

“Now, where were we? Ah, the date discussion,” he said when he turned around, his free hand moving to my side and squeezing lightly. “I want to know how you feel about an actual, for-real date. I’m talking we pull out all the stops and we call it what it is.”

I accepted the refill with thanks. “Depends on the date, I guess,” I replied.

My blood was already singing from the first drink and I knew a second without food in my stomach might not be a good idea. With Mike standing so close to me, what was a little extra fire in comparison? My skin was practically glowing.

“Wherever you want to go, name a place. We’ll take off and see what kind of trouble we can get into.”

I laughed. “Knowing us, it would be terrible trouble. Except I wasn’t talking about a place. I was talking about a person. I guess I should say it depends on my date’s identity.”

The ambrosia definitely helped the final walls come down and unleashed my flirtatious side. I reached out and lightly trailed a finger down his arm. Loving the way a tic developed beneath his left eye. I watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips.

“You are being very mean to me, Tavi. Very mean indeed. Teasing me.”

“What will you do about it?” I wanted to know, trailing my finger back up his arm.

And so the flirting began in earnest. Still harmless, though, since we were in a public place with a lot of laughing and drinking and talking going on around us. Nevertheless, with the help of ambrosia—because while they might frown mightily on imbibing hard liquor, apparently Fae elders didn’t see the harm in their children drinking copious amounts of ambrosia—Mike and I had a moment.

And then Coral showed up.

Coral didn’t need to ask people to move aside. They did it naturally, twisting their bodies out of her way until she stepped forward like she had a spotlight all her own. Her elegant gown dazzled the eye and drew everyone’s attention to her. So chic, so sophisticated.

And of course there I was looking comfortable.

“Prince Michael,” she cooed. Elegantly, of course. She did everything elegantly, even inserting herself elegantly into a private conversation. “It’s so wonderful of you to join us. I hadn’t realized you’d arrived.”

She, like Arlyss, did not acknowledge me. I still didn’t care. What bothered me more? The way her gaze fell proprietarily on Mike.

“Coral, thank you for the invitation,” Mike said. He reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips very gallantly. Hopefully it was just the custom and nothing more. “It’s a lovely party but a little crowded.”

“Say the word and I can have everyone go home. Everyone except you, of course. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. I was hoping you’d stop by.”

I could have stayed too and fought her for a place at his side. My wolf wanted to. She lurked just beneath the surface of my skin with her teeth bared, prepared to attack, to defend her mate and her territory.

Nope, terrible idea. I needed to get myself out of this situation fast.

I noticed Lane chatting with another boy at the end of the buffet line and decided it would be better to take myself out of the equation before I did something stupid. It wasn’t like I needed provocation.

The ambrosia quickly worked on my system, making my head light and the sweater itchy. I found Lane more than willing to chat. From that vantage point I could keep a close eye on Mike and make sure Coral didn’t try to make a move on him.

I knew she’d try at some point. I wanted to be there to intercept it when she did.

Lane was in the middle of a story about last year’s Summer Games. I struggled to keep up and laugh when appropriate, express concern when appropriate. Offer up the odd comment here and there, such as wondering why the people here wanted to torture their children.

But the more I drank, and the more I watched Mike with Coral, the angrier I felt. He hadn’t looked at me once. He didn’t seem to care where I was or what I was doing. She had his complete attention.

I’d nearly had enough when I overhead the juiciest bit of their conversation.

“These are your people, Michael. You should be out there enjoying yourself,” Coral was saying. “Instead of turning your focus to less savory outlets.”

Me. She meant me.

“You don’t trust my judgment?” Mike asked. The haughty persona was back and stronger than ever.

Coral backpedaled a bit. “I trust you to make the right decision in the long run, of course. Except I know how tempting it can be to let yourself be swayed by a pretty face. Where is the halfling, anyway?”

Mike waved his hand. “She’s around somewhere. I’ll find her soon.”

I’d been dismissed. The word ricocheted through my mind until I saw red.

The effects of the ambrosia bolstering me, I slammed back the rest of my second round and shoved the glass blindly into Lane’s hand, setting off toward Mike with a growl.

“Can I speak to you for a second?” I burst out, grabbing his arm.

“Ah, Tavi. There you are. Wonderful to see you. And looking so…casual,” Coral said in greeting. Her smile was fake enough to be made out of plastic as she raked her gaze from my feet to my head. Apparently she found nothing redeeming. “Helping yourself to the refreshments, I see. You might want to go easy on the ambrosia. It can have quite an effect if you aren’t used to it.”

“Mike, now.”

I went so far as to take his hand and steer him toward the fireplace where there were fewer people. Less of a chance for us to be overheard in the crowded room. I would have escaped entirely, but for some reason the fuzz in my brain prevented me from finding the door.

“What is it, Tavi? What’s this all about?” Mike said, turning his full attention to me.

“You’re being two-faced,” I told him bluntly.

“What?”

Nerves crackled beneath my skin and I found, once I’d started this conversation, I couldn’t stop. “You’re performing for your shitty friends and it’s really getting old. I thought you should know. You act like a completely different person for them than you do when it’s just the two of us. I’m not sure why you want to but it’s kind of crazy.”

This time his gaze turned cold for me. I didn’t like it. “Is that what you think I’m doing, Tavi? You think I’m putting on a show?”

“I think you’re lowering yourself to their expectations. I’m not sure why you want to, whether you even realize what you’re doing, or it’s some kind of act you’ve been trained to put on because of your status. The way you cater to them means…” Means I can’t trust you. Because I didn’t want to be with a guy who switched his personalities on a dime. Did I?

Then again, this was Mike. This was the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about.

And he wasn’t assuring me I was right.

“I think you’ve had a little too much to drink and you’re making a big deal out of nothing,” Mike told me slowly. “I’ve been trying to play nice with them when I clearly don’t want to be here. I said as much to you but you’re the one who wanted to come. You’re the one who told me we were coming here tonight.”

I took a deep breath, knowing I’d tossed out too much emotional baggage. Emotions swirled and receded beneath the surface. Could I hold them down? “And now…now I want to leave.”

Without hesitation he swept his hand out toward the door. “Go on, then. Maybe I’m not done performing for my shitty friends, as you say. Maybe there are still conversations I’d like to have without you getting angry with me for having them. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing is going on with me.” I wasn’t sure how to suppress these emotions anymore.

“Clearly something is bothering you if you’re jumping on me for this,” he snapped.

“This. Like it’s nothing.”

“It is nothing.”

“Okay, fine, no problem. I’m leaving. I can find the door. You stay as long as you like,” I said.

I didn’t say the words I really wanted to say: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call him out in front of all these people, and odds were good I’d regret having so much ambrosia when the effects wore off.

We’d already made enough of a scene to have our fellow students turned our direction, watching. Waiting for the final performance. To see if I would launch something at Mike’s head or break a glass or whatever.

I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

I turned away from Mike and headed toward the door, clutching my last words close to me.

So much for not letting myself get emotionally attached to Mike. What was he even doing with me? A few measly hours together and I felt like I needed to have all of his attention. And when he adopted that ridiculous cold personality around his friends? It got under my skin and made me cringe. Because that was not the Mike I knew and…loved.

Oh God. This was going so wrong on so many levels. Every time I’d convinced myself we could never be together, I’d actually been right. I should learn to trust my instincts more.

He could stay with Coral for all I cared. I had better places to be and apparently better people to be with.