Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

RYAN

The water laps around our ankles as we stroll along the beach, hand in hand. My heart is full. One of my best abilities is to compartmentalize, and when I’m with Maddy, I’m free to do that. She makes it so easy to forget about Dad’s financial troubles, the impending lawsuit, and the fact that her dad will never approve of me. Though, she still doesn’t know what her dad said to me in high school.

“I needed this walk after that meal.” Maddy’s statement breaks my thoughts.

I took Maddy to a secluded place in Malibu. It’s a hole in the wall that serves home-cooked meals. It’s a place her dad and none of their friends would visit.

“It’s a pretty cool restaurant, isn’t it?”

“It is. How did you ever find it?”

“I’ve got skills.”

“You sure do.” There’s a slight tease in her voice that is bogged down with an underlying sadness.

“It feels good to just get away from the grind of everything, you know?”

“It does.” Those green eyes turned toward me. “And I happen to like spending time with you.”

I like this new version of Maddy. I mean, I always enjoy being with her, but there’s just something different about her. She’s more open, maybe? Perhaps making us official made it so we don’t hold back anymore.

But as great as it is, there’s something off with her tonight. She tried hiding it through dinner, but she wasn’t fooling me.

“Hey,” Maddy breaks her hand free and nudges her head toward the right. “Race you to that lifeguard tower?”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, you’re on, Grimes.”

We take off sprinting across the sand in our bare feet.

She’s a few steps ahead when she calls back, “Ha! You’re too slow, Sorenson.”

“Not fair, I’m carrying the backpack.”

“No excuses.”

I don’t push myself too hard. This isn’t about winning. I just enjoy the sound of Madison’s laughter beside me. When we reach the guard tower, she gazes at the endless blue horizon, twisting her fingers anxiously in the hem of her shirt. Hmm. Something is definitely bothering her. It seems heavier than our everyday worries.

“Hey, are you okay?”

She meets my gaze and nods. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m starting to freak out about telling my parents.”

“I understand that, but it seems like there’s more.”

She sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. “Why is it that you can read me so well?”

“Ah, it’s both a blessing and a curse.” I wrap my arm around her. “Because I can see through the bullshit.” Kissing the top of her head, I add, “What’s going on?”

“It’s Amanda.”

My back straightens. “Did Blake?—”

“No, nothing like that. I hate that I’m keeping this a secret from her. I feel like I’m betraying my best friend.”

“Oh.” I settle down once I know Amanda is safe. But I hate my girl is stressing over it. “I haven’t mentioned anything to Blake either.”

Madison looks up at me, curiosity embedded in those green eyes. “Does that bother you?”

“Yes, but for reasons other than you’re thinking.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t bother me that I haven’t told him about us dating. He doesn’t need to know our business. What bothers me is that I can’t show you off. You’re mine. And I’m rather proud of that.”

She puffs a breath. “I think it’s different for females.”

“You could tell her. I’m sure she wouldn’t say anything.”

“I know with all my heart she wouldn’t. But I hate to burden her with the truth. My parents actually like her. If they say anything around her, I don’t want her to feel like she has to lie.” She shrugs. “Maybe I’m overthinking it.”

A smile crosses my lips. That’s my girl. Always thinking of others. “I think you have a huge heart.”

“Which can be a blessing and a curse,” she mimics my previous words.

“Nah, it’s never a curse to love unconditionally.” She glances back at me, and my knees about buckle. When she wears that obedient, seductive look, all I want to do is ravish her right here on the beach. I refrain from touching her further, though. I have to. Otherwise, I’m not sure I can stop.

I clear my throat. “Admittedly, I haven’t talked to Amanda much this year. Everything’s okay with her, isn’t it?”

She averts her gaze back to the ocean. “Yeah. She’ll be great. I just feel like a shitty friend.”

She’s still holding something back, but I don’t press. She’ll tell me when she feels like it.

I dig my toe in the sand and squint at the reflective sheen. Well, well, well, what do we have here? Smiling, I pick up the small conch shell. It’s about the size of a cigarette butt, but the spiral shell and delicate ridges are unmistakable. This is just what I need.

I interlace our fingers and gently tug for us to move. We need to get going to reach the spot I want to take her.

Once we take off, I ask, “You’re one hundred percent sure art is what you want to do?”

“Yes! Like every time I walk past the art building, I feel this pull. It’s as if I belong there.”

“And when you walk into the science building?” I prompt.

“I want to barf.”

“Then I think you’re making the best move, Toots.”

“Thanks. I think so, too. No matter how difficult telling my parents will be.” She lets out a small huff of air. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“About playing professional hockey.”

My jaw clenches. I want to mention the shitty offer her parents gave us, but I refrain. She has enough to worry about.

“It’s not my time yet.” Then I deflect, pausing our walk. “Are you sure you don’t want me there when you tell them? I’ve got your back. No matter what you decide.”

Her face softens, and I can tell she appreciates the offer. “Thanks, but I’ll be okay.

“Just keep in mind that sometimes the fear of not following your passion is worse than the fear of disappointing others.” As the words fall out, I ignore how close their meaning hits home.

“That’s actually pretty profound, Sorenson.” She nudges my side, and we resume walking.

“I have my moments.”

In the distance, a seagull cries out, swooping low over the water. This date has been perfect. But I’d like to give her a simple reminder that may prove useful.

“Here, see this shell? It’s perfect.” I place it in her open palm. “It’s a baby conch shell. Do you know what it symbolizes?”

She shakes her head while staring at the tiny shell in her hand.

“Tranquility. Keep it in your pocket when you talk to your parents. If you feel anxious, reach in and wrap your fingers around it. Use its powers to calm you down.”

The corner of her mouth lifts to a smirk. “That’s such a load of crap.”

“What?” I laugh. “You don’t believe in life’s balance?”

“No.” She laughs but squeezes the shell and places it in her pocket. Patting her hip, she winks. “Just in case.”

“Come on, Toots. I have a spot I want to show you.”

We pick up the pace until we arrive at the perfect spot. It’s an alcove that sets far enough away that I’ve yet to see people milling around the area. It overlooks the ocean, and the rocks are perfectly positioned for a spectacular sunset.

I pull out the thin blanket from the backpack and lay it on the sand. We settle onto the cover. Maddy leans back on her hands and fixes her gaze on the horizon. The fading sunlight catches in her auburn curls and sets them ablaze.

“This is nice,” I murmur, not wanting to break the moment’s spell.

Maddy hums in agreement, but that faraway look returns. Her fingers absently trace patterns in the sand.

I wish she’d tell me what’s truly bothering her, but we all have secrets.

“So, Picasso,” I nudge her gently with my shoulder. “How’s that masterpiece coming along?”

Maddy shakes her head, but I catch the hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “It’s actually coming along quite well. I’m almost ready to submit the collection.”

“That’s exciting.”

“It really is, but I doubt I’ll win.”

“You have to manifest it.”

“Just like you’re manifesting the Frozen Four?” She quirks an eyebrow in challenge.

“You better believe it.”

We sit in silence for a few moments as the sun starts its descent. The waves crash upon the shore in their timely rhythm. It’s a constant in the face of change. And I find myself wishing, not for the first time, that I could freeze this moment. Just Maddy and I, the ocean, and all the unspoken things between us.

“I brought something for you.” I reach into my bag, fumbling past the water bottle. My fingers close around the small, leather-bound book. I pull out the sketchbook and hold it out to Maddy. “I thought maybe you’d want to draw.”

Her eyes widen and shine the first true sparkle I’ve seen today. “Ryan, you … you brought this for me?”

I shrug, trying to play it cool even as my heart races. “Yeah, well, I figured you might get inspired. This view’s pretty sick, right?”

Maddy takes the sketchbook, her fingers brushing mine. A jolt of electricity shoots up my arm. I ignore it. Tonight is about us. Not sex.

She opens it, running her hand over the blank page. “This is … wow. Thank you.” Her voice is soft, full of emotion that makes my chest tighten.

“I brought you pencils as well.” I hand her the bag and watch as she pulls out what she likes.

I lean back, giving her space to work. The tension in her shoulders melts as she loses herself in the art. It’s awestriking watching her transform from the worrywart to becoming more … Maddy. The real Maddy, not the one trying to fit into someone else’s expectations.

The urge to reach out and tuck a stray curl behind her ear is almost overwhelming. Instead, I clench my fist in the sand and remind myself of all the reasons to be a gentleman. I wanted tonight to prove we work as a couple. The sexual tension is off the charts, but she means more to me than sex.

The silence between us is comfortable as I watch Maddy work. Her brows furrow in concentration, and she pokes her tongue out slightly between her lips. I smile at the sight.

“You know, you make the funniest face when you’re zoned in.” My lips twitch. “Like you’re trying to stare the paper into submission.”

Her head snaps up, eyes wide with mock indignation. “I do not!”

“Oh, you totally do. It’s adorable.”

“Whatever.” She swats my arm playfully. “Jerk! See if I ever let you watch me draw again.”

I laugh, raising my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! I take it back. Your concentration face is very serious and artistic.”

She rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide her smile. It hits me then how easy this is. How natural it feels to be here with her, teasing and laughing like we’ve known each other forever.

Shadows shift as the moment I’ve been waiting for—the entire purpose for bringing her here—happens. The sun sinks toward the horizon and creates a spectacular array of colors. Pinks and oranges bleed into deep purples and reflect off the water. Maddy’s pencil stills as we both take in the view.

“Wow,” she breathes.

I nod in agreement. “Isn’t this beautiful? I found this area by accident and was totally captivated.”

Maddy shifts beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her and rub circles on her forearm.

“Thanks for today, Ryan,” she murmurs. “I needed this more than I realized.”

“Anytime, Grimes. I’m always here for you.”

I’m perfectly content to stay here all evening, but the more I touch her, the more the energy between us grows. Along with something else.

“Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Is the Malibu house free tonight?”

My lips form a wicked smile. “Is someone needing attention?”

“Uh-huh.” Maddy bites her bottom lip. “Someone’s been a good girl.”

“Yes. Yes, she has.” I rise to my feet and pull her up with me. “And I think she needs to be rewarded.”

So much for being a gentleman.