20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

T oday had been torture.

Normally after being demo for a rope class, Pixie would be at ease. Parker was so talented, with the calmest demeanor known to mankind. However, ever since Micah had dropped the bomb that she entertained a potential move, Eva had iced over. Sure, they hadn't made any promises, but Pixie was well aware they both cashed currency with each other they didn't offer anywhere else.

"You okay, Pix?" Parker crouched in front of her and helped rub circulation back into her arms and legs in smooth, strong strokes. The rest of the class had cleared out, so Parker was doing his due diligence, since he'd been showing a few more advanced ties. She was an old hat at being a rope bunny, and while she enjoyed the sensations, it didn't vault her straight into subspace like other kinks. Honestly, that helped when she had to assist in classes.

"You did great today," she said, hoping for reassurance, even though her mind raced a million miles away.

Parker narrowed his gaze. "Don't think I missed the deflection. Is it personal life stuff, or was something off during the class demo?"

She shot him a strained smile. "Just personal." Not like she could talk with her best friend's boyfriend about how she was head over heels for Micah's sister and had royally fucked it all up. When she'd decided to schedule the interview, she hadn't even been sure if Eva would return to the area. The idea of her living here though? It terrified Pixie how much she wanted that. The way Eva made her feel, the focus of the woman, how she'd understood her when no one else quite did. Pixie wasn't sure she could walk away from that.

Except that was what Eva thought she planned on doing.

Parker still gave her concerned puppy dog eyes, which meant the others at Whipped would be checking in on her. She chewed her lower lip. Guilt coated her over her recent state of mind, how isolated from everyone she'd felt. There was no logic to it though, truth be told. When you were broken from a young age, sometimes you lost the ability to pretend to be normal. Every once in a while, the mask would slip, and she would vault back to the kid she was years ago, taking care of an unstable adult and left to her own devices.

"Look, I promise I'll share soon, okay?" she said, even though she'd have to pull a thread from her shaky tapestry on what she could tell them. Eva fell into the forbidden fruit category, and a discussion about her mom was off-limits.

"You know I'll hold you to that," Parker said, his voice soft. "Micah's not the only one who's been worried about you. We've all noticed you distancing yourself. "

So much for being invisible with this crew. She swallowed hard and stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the pressure building in her eyes. "Deal." She didn't want to dig any deeper. If she did, she would break, and she'd already sobbed in front of Eva the other night.

And the world hadn't stopped moving.

That night had been a revelation in more ways than one.

Not only had it clarified how perfect Eva was for her, but it had also caused a deeper crack in the tiniest chink in her armor. The idea that sharing her secrets with the others at Whipped wouldn't be the end of the world was new. In the past, she would've shied away. What was the point in tearing yourself open when no one would help? When everyone walked the other way?

Yet Eva hadn't.

Fuck, Pixie needed to talk to her so badly.

She rose on wobbly legs. With only a sports bra and shorts on, she couldn't hide the rope marks on her arms and legs.

"Here." Parker handed over her hoodie and sweats. "I've got a needy boyfriend to go visit."

Pixie snorted. "You love how needy he is."

"Hell yes, I do." Parker beamed. It came as a relief how much Parker had transformed in letting Micah in. He'd always been kind, the sort who took care of everyone, but after his mother passed away, grief had threatened to swallow him whole.

Seeing him find his person had given her a bit of poisonous hope that someday someone would accept her broken pieces too. That she wasn't too damaged to love.

"I might hang around a bit," Pixie said. "Fin's working, and I want an excuse not to go home and churn out paintings." She'd produced more in the past month than she had in a year, but right now, the idea of being in her studio made her feel a little claustrophobic. Not when she brimmed with the need to talk to Eva in private.

Parker ruffled her hair. "See you soon, Pix." He rose and headed for the side table, where his duffel bag awaited him.

She pulled on her sweats and tugged her hoodie over, covering all the rope marks. The creak of Parker's tread up the steps signaled he was on his way out. If he went to her condo to see Micah, that meant another too-crowded scenario. She raked her fingers through her hair and grabbed her phone to check her texts. The email notification about the upcoming interview glared back at her.

Her stomach churned. Everything she'd shared with Eva had meant something serious to her. She slipped her phone into her pocket and snagged her messenger bag from the table. By the time she made her way to the top of the steps, her mind hadn't stopped whirring, but then her gaze landed on the opposite end of the café.

The lighting was dimmer in the early evening hour, given the lack of the sun streaming through the wide windows, but those shadows suited Eva. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and her full lips were pursed as she stared at her laptop, clearly in work mode. The serious expression had Domme vibes, though, and a zing rushed through Pixie.

"Pixie girl, how was rope class?" Fin sang, their voice echoing through the empty café. This was a small hush before the nighttime rush, and then the café closed, even though the dungeon stayed open later some days of the week.

Eva jerked her head up.

"Hey," Pixie said and walked to the coffee counter. Eva nodded, her expression softening. That was hope enough for her.

"Parker strung me up and set the rope on fire. Blood, screaming, ritual sacrifice. So you know, a normal Monday night," Pixie said to Fin, who leaned against the register like they owned it. Hopefully, they hadn't noticed her longing looks in Eva's direction.

"Why does everyone always leave me out of the ritual sacrifice?" Fin said, but their eyes twinkled.

"You're too thirsty for it."

"Speaking of thirsty…" Fin grabbed a plastic cup, tossed some ice in, and pulled out the lavender blue pea iced tea from the fridge. A moment later, they passed a drink in Pixie's direction. "Drink up because I know you'll forget to take care of yourself."

Her heart twisted in knots as she accepted the pretty blue beverage. Fin was another one who would be hurt if they found out about the interview. "Thanks, babe." She took a sip. The drink was floral and sweet, just the way she liked it. The motion of Eva closing her laptop snagged her attention, and a burst of adrenaline rushed through her. "I'm going to see what my temporary roomie is doing. I'll be right back."

Pixie hurried across the café, needing to intercept Eva before she left. This was the first chance she'd gotten to talk to Eva without Micah hovering. She plunked into the seat across from Eva. "Hey."

Eva looked up at her, and her shoulders snapped into place. "Finished up class?"

"Finished up work?"

"Micah told me Parker was coming over, and I needed space to concentrate instead of listening to my brother and his boyfriend fuck." Eva opened her mouth as if she might say more but shut it again.

God, Pixie hated this. The easy flow of conversation between them had vanished, and she was well aware of why. Because the threads between them were spider's silk and easy to snap, even as they built a more and more complicated web.

"Portland isn't my dream," she blurted out .

"Excuse me?"

"The interview for the position in Portland," she continued, sweat pricking on her palms. "My dealer threw a unique opportunity my way, and I tossed my hat in the silo. Look, I've just been feeling lost for a while now…"

Eva's shoulders relaxed, and Pixie could breathe again. "And this was an escape." Her stare bored into Pixie like she wanted to strip her down on the spot. "Do you still need to escape?"

"Depends."

"On what?" Eva asked.

Eva wasn't supposed to be more than a fling.

Pixie definitely wasn't supposed to fall for her.

Yet she had anyway.

"You," Pixie said, her voice hushed.

Eva's dark eyes grew soft, and a wry smile played on her lips. Relief pumped through Pixie's veins. "So, I'm not the only one all tangled up here?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Our timing's terrible." Eva smirked, and lightness bubbled up inside Pixie.

She bit her lip to swallow back her laugh. Thank fuck, Eva understood. "Micah happened to overhear a phone call with my art dealer about the interview, which was why he knew."

"Leave it to my brother to be nosy."

"There are more where that came from." Pixie cast a glance over to the coffee counter. Sure enough, Fin was staring at them. Considering Fin had been a part of their first scene together, they'd probably figured out the attraction between them. For as much as Fin earned a lot of shit among the crew, they were astute when they chose to be .

Pixie's phone buzzed in her pocket with an incoming call. She didn't want to interrupt this conversation, but she usually answered phone calls. They tended to be important, since everyone knew she'd only respond to text.

Her mother's name popped up on the screen, and her adrenaline spiked all over again.

"Let me check this," she said but didn't move from her seat. Eva was the one person she'd told about her mother, so she didn't need to hide. "Maisie?"

"Oh, thank god you answered," she said, a rising panic in her voice Pixie remembered all too well.

Her stomach dropped, and she clenched her jaw. Her mother wasn't in her right frame of mind. "What's going on?"

"Someone changed my locks," Maisie said, genuine fear bleeding through her tone. "I can't get in my house."

Lord. She wasn't in a full-blown episode, but she had a gap in her memories. This had happened before, but not in a long while. Pixie swallowed hard. The warmth circulating through her veins got dumped down the drain like rancid dishwater. She gripped her phone a little tighter. "Stay put. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Pixie ended the call, resisting the urge to sob.

Life with Maisie had clearly been too easy.

This was the other reason the idea of running tempted her so damn much. Because not having to answer the call, not having to take care of her mother any longer felt too appealing. And she hated herself every time she thought of it.

"What's going on?" Eva's voice broke through the fog.

"Uh, I have to get out of here," Pixie said, tugging on her purse strap as she rose to her feet.

Eva slipped her laptop into her bag and stood just as fast. "Is there an emergency?"

"With my mother."

"Do you want company?" Based on the way she gripped the strap of her laptop bag, she would rush after her no matter the answer.

"You don't need to deal with my mess," Pixie said, even though her throat tightened at the idea of having Eva there.

"That's not what I asked," Eva said, her tone firm. She wrapped a hand around Pixie's wrist.

The contact did her in. "Yes."

Her chest throbbed. Not being alone? Fuck, she'd always imagined what that would be like but never believed it'd happen. She'd parked outside, so she at least didn't need to go back to her condo to get her car. "I'll drive us."

"Works for me," Eva said. "I walked over here on a break. You're doing me a favor anyway. I don't want to know what Micah and Parker are getting up to back at the condo. There won't be enough bleach."

Pixie snorted, even though it came out a bit watery. Her eyes already stung, and she needed to get out of here before she broke down. "Hey, Fin," she called over. Fin glanced up from recalibrating the espresso machine. "I'm heading out with Eva, but we'll catch up soon."

Fin tipped two fingers in a salute, and Pixie hurried to the door. Her heart thumped hard enough she was shocked it wasn't echoing through the place. She couldn't get to her mother's quick enough, yet it would take at least an hour's drive. The temptation to call the cops rose, just to keep her mother safe, but she also didn't want her to vault back from a minor episode if this was a blip.

She pushed the door open, and the cool air greeted her. San Francisco was alive with the thrum of city traffic, the whistle of the wind, and the occasional shouts of passersby. The smack of the breeze against her cheeks was what she needed right now to keep her grounded, even as her mind floated away.

One moment she was leaving Whipped, the next she was standing in front of her car, barely aware of the steps in between. Eva stood behind her, hand resting on the strap of her laptop bag. Concern lit her eyes. Concern for her. Pixie tried to ignore the tremble of her hands, the burn in her throat.

"It'll be okay," she said. Who was she reassuring? Eva or herself?

She unlocked her Mini Cooper and got in the driver's seat. Eva slipped in on the other side, and the thump of her door shutting jarred Pixie into action. She turned on the ignition and pulled out onto the street.

"If you need me to drive at any point…" Eva said.

"It's not my first rodeo," Pixie said, her voice thick as she gripped the wheel tight. However, she'd never had company before.

That fact took root in her brain. For the first time, she wasn't dealing with one of her mother's episodes by herself. A hot tear slipped down her cheek, one she didn't dare call attention to by wiping it away, even though Eva must have seen it.

All that mattered was that she wasn't alone.

And Eva was the reason why.