19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

T he sunlight streamed through the blinds, a bit too bright, as Eva slowly blinked awake. The scent of jasmine surrounded her, and a soft, warm weight rested beside her—someone else.

She wasn't in her bed.

Wait, she didn't even have a bed.

Eva pushed herself up on her elbow. Pixie lay curled up beside her, the golden rays from the window highlighting her creamy skin, her curves, her tousled bright blue strands. Like this, she looked so damn innocent, so fucking pure. Though no matter how filthy Pixie was in the bedroom, there was something so damn good about her that Eva couldn't help but be drawn in.

Last night had been a revelation on multiple fronts. Not only had she learned more about the woman than she could ever have hoped for, but the way Pixie had surrendered to her had been imprinted on her soul. All the feelings of inadequacy, of being left behind, had been dispelled because she'd been with a woman who made her feel truly valued.

She hadn't understood how lacking she'd been until she experienced it.

The front door creaked, and Eva shot up.

Shit, she wasn't wearing a stitch right now—she also wasn't on the couch where Micah would expect her. There weren't a ton of rooms in this condo. Her adrenaline kick-started, and she slipped out of the bed.

"Pixie," she hissed, jabbing her in the side.

Pixie's eyes flew open, and she floundered in the sheets for a moment.

"Micah's home," Eva whispered. She grabbed her clothes from last night off the floor, hoping to figure out a way to keep her brother in the dark. That was a can of worms neither of them was ready to open yet. She yanked on her skirt and shirt, only bothering with a button or two. Footsteps thumped in the main area, which meant he might be searching around the condo for her.

Pixie sat up in the bed, her blue eyes wide. Eva lifted her finger to her lips in a "be quiet" gesture and slipped out the door. The bathroom was one past Pixie's, closer to the main living area. She didn't dare look up to see if Micah strolled by or in eyesight or anything. Eva grasped the handle of the bathroom door and yanked at it.

"There you are," Micah said.

"Was just using the bathroom," Eva said, sweat breaking out on her temple. She must have looked a mess with her mussed hair, her shirt half-buttoned, and her skirt wrinkled. Nothing like her normal state of presentable .

"I'm guessing there was a lot of that?" Micah asked, his nose wrinkling. "Considering you're still wearing last night's clothes, the two of you must've really been sick. Not going to lie, I thought you were just covering for Pixie. She seemed shaken."

Damn Micah for being so astute. Acid pooled in her stomach at lying to him more. After all, he was the one who'd welcomed her here, who had put her up after their parents had cut them out and she no longer had a home to return to.

"Yeah, you were better off at Parker's." Eva made a beeline for the suitcase that had become a fixture beside their couch. Her life had been in pieces for a few weeks now, and the idea of that stretching much longer soured her stomach. Everything else she owned was crammed into the back seat of her car. She tugged out a pair of yoga pants and a tee, going for casual since she didn't have hard and fast plans today.

"I can make some soup if you guys need it," Micah offered, and guilt twisted in her gut.

"Nah, I'm just going to drown myself in tea. Let me get changed, and you can catch me up on last night." She hustled to the bathroom, needing to be alone for a second, if only to calm down her heart that thumped far too hard.

When she shut the door behind her, her shoulders sagged in relief. Fuck, that had been a close call. What the hell was she doing? Her brother had started opening up to her bit by bit, and she even crashed on his couch. Fucking his best friend shouldn't even be on her radar. Yet she couldn't pull herself away from Pixie.

After discovering everything Pixie had been through, she was bound to her with intricate rope ties, and she didn't want to extricate herself. Eva pulled on her yoga pants, then the tee, splashed some cold water on her face, and ran a brush through her hair, hoping for the best .

When she stepped out of the bathroom, her nerves had settled a little. Micah leaned against the counter in the kitchen, the kettle on. Eva grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter. Micah's stare burned into her, but she ignored it, pretending everything was fine. It had to be fine.

She couldn't fathom the alternative.

"Do you still drink Earl Grey like an old lady?" Micah asked as he rummaged through their tea jar. Seeing those tea bags in disarray in the jar made Eva's fingers itch to order them. Guaranteed, this belonged to Pixie. It had her brand of charming chaos stamped over it.

"Don't shame me for my excellent taste," Eva said, plucking a bag from the mess.

The door creaked from the hallway, and Pixie stepped out. All she wore was an oversized pink tee that slipped off one shoulder and came to her thighs. Lust pulsed through Eva at the memory of having those delicious curves under her command last night. The confidence that had run through Eva was something she sorely wanted to hold on to, something that had been elusive as of late.

"Joining our tea party?" Micah took out another mug for Pixie. The electric kettle finished boiling with a click.

Pixie nodded. Jasmine wafted from her, and Eva's pulse raced a little faster. She was more than aware of the way Pixie's arm brushed against hers when she reached for the tea jar.

Except this was the last person she should hook up with.

Eva straightened and snagged the electric kettle after Micah finished with it to tend to her tea. The kiss of the steam was exactly what she needed, like a smack to the face.

While Eva had taken care of Pixie afterward in the shower and they'd murmured to each other in bed, both of them had passed out quickly. Regret squeezed her chest tight because there was so much more she'd wanted to say. To check in to make sure Pixie was feeling fine after the play they'd done, after the past wounds Pixie had shared. To offer a little of her soul up in exchange, a little piece of her history to even the scales.

However, with Micah home early, they'd have to dance around all that. Because Pixie hadn't even told her best friend about how she'd grown up or the situation with her mother. The lost look she sometimes caught on Pixie's face made so much more sense now. Even around her closest friends, she was unmoored.

Eva could relate. She'd been hiding from others for so long she'd almost believed the front she put on.

"Come sit on the couch with me." Micah walked out of the kitchen and over to the loveseat. "I drank too much at the bar, and I don't want to be standing right now."

"Lightweight," Eva teased as she followed him, the cup of Earl Grey in hand. She sank into what had become her spot on the couch, since that was where she'd slept since she arrived—apart from last night. The first sip of the tea scorched her tongue, but it served her right for lying to her goddamn brother. She didn't regret helping Pixie out, and she couldn't find it in her to regret how they'd clashed together multiple times now.

However, the guilt tugged at her regardless.

"Noles got sloppy drunk and was giving lap dances by the end of the evening," Micah said.

"So a normal Wednesday night for him." Pixie's delivery was dry. She had a spark in her eyes that relieved Eva. After seeing her shatter to pieces, finding the core of her intact this morning reaffirmed she'd made the right call .

"Look, sometimes Noles is on the receiving end for those Wednesday nights." Micah nestled farther into the pile of pillows on the loveseat.

"Mostly if your boyfriend is involved." Pixie perched on the arm of the couch.

Eva took another sip of the tea, enjoying the scald. In another lifetime, she would've expected her brother to get crazy jealous over that, but he simply shrugged. Their group was so comfortable around each other, and it was nothing she'd ever experienced. Granted, if she stayed in the area, she'd need to set some boundaries with her and Micah in the same scene. Some things even bleach couldn't erase.

"You're being awfully quiet over there," Micah said. "Are you still dealing with the aftereffects of the food poisoning?"

Eva swallowed hard and glanced between Micah and Pixie. She couldn't fake illness well, not with Micah being home. But she could offer some truth. "I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to call home."

"If it wasn't clear to you already, you fit right in here," Pixie said, a warmth in her gaze that sank inside Eva's chest.

"Coming from the girl who's trying to leave us," Micah teased.

Eva's stomach dropped. "What do you mean leaving?"

"Micah," Pixie hissed.

With everything they'd shared, Pixie hadn't once mentioned plans to move. Sure, they were only hooking up, but after last night, Eva had thought… Well, maybe she'd thought wrong. She couldn't bring herself to meet Pixie's eyes as ice hardened over the areas that had melted.

"There's this artist-in-residency position open at the Portland Museum of Art," Pixie said. "I've got an interview for it in a few weeks, so there's no guarantee I'll even get in."

Fucking news to her. She hated how it tilted her off her axis, the world spinning around her. Pixie wasn't hers, and this was a temporary arrangement. Yet with the secrets she'd confided to the woman—hell, the ones Pixie had confided back—Eva had begun to believe they might mean more.

"And even if I do get in, I haven't decided whether that's what I want to pursue," Pixie said in a rush as if she tried to backpedal out of the situation.

"It's a rare opportunity, so if you have to, I'll pretend to understand while secretly hating you forever," Micah said loftily.

Eva forced a smile. "Sounds like a dream job for an artist." Fuck, she felt so stupid. She made the mistake of looking over and meeting Pixie's eyes. The woman's pretty blues had a note of pleading to them as if she tried to communicate something, but Eva wasn't sure what. They hadn't made any promises beyond stolen moments together. That wouldn't have ever been sustainable.

Even if a stupid little part of her had been daydreaming.

The dangerous sort, like the idea of keeping Pixie for real.

"But ignoring the abandoner in our midst," Micah said, ever the drama queen. "Don't pull a Pixie. You don't owe Nevada any allegiance, and here would be a good place to start over."

Eva swallowed. Just a few minutes ago, the answer had seemed so clear, but part of what had her leaning toward the area was a woman who didn't even want to stay. Her hands trembled. "I'll make a decision by the end of the week. Trust me, I'm not planning on crashing on your couch for much longer."

"The only decision I'm willing to entertain is that you're moving here to San Francisco," Micah said. "Ev." His voice softened to the point her attention locked on him, and a seriousness lingered to his demeanor that had her paying attention. "You're the only family I have left."

"Same," she responded with a bitter grin.

Which was why she shouldn't have been fooling with his best friend.

"Considering you work remote, it can't hurt to rent a place here for a spell," Micah continued. "See if you like the area and give us a chance to really catch up. I've been doing a shit job of it, wrapped up in the new relationship and everything."

"None of that," Eva said sternly. "Or I'll tell your boyfriend, and he can give you a spanking."

"Ugh, not if it's by proxy from you," Micah said, faking a gag. "That's enough to sour me on spanking completely."

Pixie snorted. "That's bullshit, and we both know it. I've never seen someone who needs it so much."

Micah flipped up his middle finger. "Okay, Miss Fuck Me Six Ways From Sunday."

Pixie shrugged. "I like what I like."

Their gazes locked again, and Eva looked away because she couldn't handle the sadness in Pixie's gaze. Maybe Pixie had a good explanation for not talking about a potential move, and maybe she didn't, but the news had smacked her in the face with a solid reminder that she needed to keep her distance.

Pixie would never be hers.

Her phone buzzed, and she was grateful for the distraction until she caught the name on the screen.

Sienna.

With barely enough time to brace herself, she clicked on the text.

I miss you .

Eva bit so hard on her lower lip she could taste copper. Fuck her. Sienna had chosen Jack. She'd ripped out Eva's heart, stomped on it, and she had no right to be hitting her up now. Guaranteed, some tic of Jack's was annoying Sienna, and instead of having a discussion with him, she was hitting Eva up. Fucking mature.

She took another sip of her tea, letting the burn of the steaming liquid scorch her soul. As if she could rid herself of the churn in her stomach. Between the news Pixie might be leaving and Sienna bothering her, all the cozy warmth from her wake-up in Pixie's bed this morning swirled down the drain.

Eva didn't bother responding to the message and sank back into the couch as if it could swallow her whole.

Forget hookups, forget dating. She needed to take herself off the market completely.