Chapter 3

Jennifer

I needed to get away from there even for a short little while.

I had noticed Vulkan staring at me expectantly, as if he wanted me to do something. I'm not sure what it could have been, and it did make me feel a bit strange as I continued to hold myself back. I didn't know what he wanted from me, and I didn't know what I could honestly give him, so I continued to look in the opposite direction to try and avoid him.

But that is easier said than done so I ended up walking away from everyone and heading outside to go for a little walk. I wanted to clear my head and figure out my feelings. I love and miss Troy more than I would ever admit to someone else, but I don't know why I feel so connected to Vulkan already. It's an odd feeling, one that I'm not a hundred percent certain about and I know that I'm going to have to figure it out one way or another or I'm afraid that this might turn around and do more damage than what it is worth.

Running my fingers through my hair, I know it is dangerous to walk in the woods but I'm not afraid of anything. Sometimes a part of me wishes that I could join Troy in the afterlife but another part of me knows that it would be a very bad thing if it were to happen. It did make me feel a bit weird and made me wonder what could be going through his head, but I couldn't be certain about it at all. I know how it is, but I do know that there is only so much that I'm going to be able to do.

"It's not safe for you to be out here alone." Vulkan murmurs, not even surprising to me that he had followed me, making me feel a bit nervous because I wonder what could be going through his head, "There are monsters that lurk in the forest than would love nothing more than to make a meal out of you. You should have brought someone with you."

"I'm not afraid of a monster." I disagree with him, seeing how he is getting closer and more personal with me than I would have expected him to, "and I know for a fact that there is no way that I'm going to let it happen like that. If anything, I'll get to be with Troy again so I'm sure there's that."

His eyes flash and I swear for a moment it is with irritation, "Do you think that he would want you to die just to join him in the afterlife? I can promise you that he wouldn't want to do it at all, and he would honestly be upset if you did."

I'm confused because I didn't even know he was close with Troy because they always seemed to be at each other's throats sometimes from what Troy told me, "What does it matter? I mean, he is the love of my life and I have missed him a lot. If it wasn't for him, I'm not sure where I would be, and nobody would ever be able to replace him at all. I don't want to just fall in love with someone else because he is always going to be in my heart."

He doesn't look so happy to hear me say that but there's no way that I wouldn't, "I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that he wouldn't want you to continue to be sad and alone. He would have wanted you to move on and meet someone who would take just good care of you as well. I know that you might not believe me, but I can assure you that it is how it is."

I don't know whether or not to believe him because it didn't make much sense to me. I know how Troy felt for me and it wasn't some light-hearted feelings. We loved one another more than anything else and he is the one person that I would have given everything to. It broke me when I lost him the way that I did, and I know there is no way that he could ever be replaced. It angers me a little bit to see Vulkan trying to say that, but I don't believe that he has malicious intent either. I think he is just trying to tell me the truth.

"I don't know." I finally admit, "All I do know is that I miss him."

"I know you miss him but sometimes missing someone can be the worst thing that you can do." Vulkan murmurs, shaking his head, "I do miss my brother as well, but I know it is not a good idea to be constantly letting my life be held back because of it. I wish that we could have found his murderer, but I know he would want me to do whatever I can to try to live a life where I won't be unhappy. Don't you think?"

I understand what he is saying to me, but it is also making me feel a bit upset with him. I know that he is probably trying to make me feel better, but he is failing ultimately. There's no way that I'm going to be able to let Troy leave my life because I care about him more than I have ever cared about someone in my entire life, and it makes me a bit sick to my stomach to think that someone might ask me to do precisely that. I love everyone who has been supportive, but it is annoying me a little bit that Vulkan is just basically telling me to move on.

"Don't worry, I think you can do whatever you want. I'm just telling you what would end up happening." He explains to me, offering me a soft smile, "Just don't let anything hold you back, okay? It would be the worst thing that you do."

I couldn't be sure but his smile makes my heart skip a beat. I shouldn't let him get to me so much, but I allow him to follow me as I head towards the area where I was going to be able to do something the best that I can. I don't know but I do know what I want…

I guess I'm going to have to figure out if I'm going to let him into my life…