6. Rylan

With Terra curled in my arms, I doubt every single part of the plan that I've made.

I'm not sure that I can leave her again.

I want this.

For some reason, over the last two years, I've managed to convince myself that I don't need Terra. That I can do whatever it takes to live my life without her. That dying in a fighting ring is a good alternative to letting myself waste away while yearning for her.

But now, after this? There's no way.

I need Terra. I want her with every fiber of my being. Sitting here with her, the early morning light filtering through the canvas roof of the tent, I know that there is no walking away from this.

I need to talk to Thorne.

This is no longer about the fact that I need to tell the alpha some information about the pack. I can't just drop Chet's gambling activities and walk away.

No, I need to convince Thorne that I'm right. That I know exactly what's happening, and that I have evidence that Chet is taking pack assets and selling them to gamble on fights.

Fuck.

Terra stirs. I hold her close, my lips brushing over the back of her neck as I breathe in the smell of her skin. "Morning, Terra," I whisper against the softness of her neck.

"Mmm," she says. Her voice is hoarse and throaty, and lust punches through my gut in a rush. I'm already hard as she rubs her perfect ass back against me. I tug her close, kissing her neck, licking at the shell of her ear.

She's so beautiful. So fucking beautiful that I can't stand it.

"Last night was fun," she purrs.

I laugh. "Fun?"

"Would you use a different word?"

My world tilted on its axis. The stars faded compared to you. There is a timeline before last night and after last night, and they are completely different.

"It was fun," I agree instead.

"Hmm," Terra murmurs. She turns, wrapping her arms around me. Her green eyes sparkle.

Fuck. I have to get Thorne to believe me.

Getting Thorne to believe me, though, is going to start with Terra. "I spent the last two years in fight rings," I blurt.

The smile fades from her face. "What?"

Great. Now she'll think I'm a fucking monster. "Um. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that." I pull away, trying to extract myself from her arms, but Terra shakes her head and pulls me in closer.

"Sorry. No. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just asking… what do you mean, you spent the last two years in fight rings?"

Slowly, I let my body relax. I shuffle, looking at Terra, who is staring at me with concern… But not revulsion.

I take a deep breath. "I'm not smart or creative or anything like that. I'm not like you," I say softly. "I never have been. The only thing my dad taught me was how to fight."

"I know," Terra nods. "You were a good enforcer, Ry."

"I've always just been… muscle. So when I was exiled from the pack, I didn't have anywhere to go. I didn't have any money. And I kind of…" I don't know how to say the next part.

I kind of had a death wish.

"I was having a hard time," I say, sanitizing my thoughts. I can tell Terra knows that's not what I was going to add, but she lets it slide. "I was in Denver, and I heard a rumor."

"About a… fighting ring?"

"Yeah. A place where supernaturals were pitted against each other for money," I grunt.

Her eyes widen. "All supernaturals?"

"Except for the fae, yes," I nod.

"Ry. You're telling me that you went up against, like… witches?"

And mages. And warlocks. And I think a vampire.

She doesn't need to know that, though. "A lot of other shifters, too. Some humans who have heard of our world and can't escape now."

Terra's perfect lips pinch into a round shape. "The scars."

"Yes. Because I come with built-in weapons, they were allowed to bring weapons into the ring," I clarify.

It was an unfair advantage. The supernatural community sees shifters as beasts. Aggressive. Animalistic.

They're the ones who enchanted their blades to cut through hide, skin, and bone, though. I just had claws and teeth against supernaturally enhanced, often silver-edged, weaponry. But I never lost.

"It's how I know about the danger to the pack," I add. "About six months ago, one of the… other enforcers was there. He has a history with gambling. I saw him place a bet on the guy I was fighting against. He bragged to the bookie that he had basically unlimited funds, because he was taking them from the pack."

"He just said that out loud?"

"I don't think he's very smart," I say ruefully. But he is better at manipulating people than I am.

"So you want to tell Thorne," Terra says, understanding dawning in her eyes.

"Yes."

"Do you have any proof?"

I shut my eyes, the anger about this question burning through me. "No," I grit out. "I overheard him right before I went on, and by the time I was done, he was gone."

"Did you win?"

I look over at Terra. For just a second, I let a feral smile curl the edges of my face.

"I have never lost."

She nods. "Good."

The fact that she approves makes me feel much, much happier than it should. I spent two years learning how to fight in the most brutal ways possible. She shouldn't be proud of me.

But she is.

Terra shifts. "So. Should we tell Thorne now, or…"

"I'll tell him."

She frowns.

I hold her closer. "Bring me to him. That's all I ask. Then I'll convince him from there. I know how important the pack is to you and your mom, Terra. I won't ask you to take my side. I'll convince Thorne of what I saw."

"What if you can't?"

I shake my head. "I will, Terra. I will."

"And if he believes you?"

"Then we can talk about doing this more often," I whisper as I pull her close.

Terra makes a small sound, her breath hitching, but I capture her lips in a kiss again.

I know it's too much to wish for. I know the hope is wrong.

But the hope of a future with her? The promise of it is too much to resist.

After a quick stopat Terra's apartment, where she puts on a really nice-looking dress and sweater combo and some makeup, we head toward the main pack compound. Most of the pack members live here, and the alpha's office is here as well. It looks like something out of a Western… there's a long building that's central to a bunch of other smaller ones, with a wood porch on each and steps leading up to the entrance.

When Terra and I enter the main pack compound, hand in hand, I expected the staring. What I didn't expect was hostility from people that I don't remember.

Terra squeezes her hand in mine. "I think people are a little shocked to see you, Ry."

"I think you should probably let go of my hand, or you're going to be in danger," I whisper back.

In response, Terra squeezes my hand harder.

"Terra…"

"Come on. The alpha's office is just this way."

In the last two years, there have been a lot of changes. This doesn't feel like a ramshackle collection of buildings anymore. It feels like a town.

Loss stabs through me. While I've been gone, the pack has progressed. And they didn't need me for any of it.

At the alpha's office, Terra pauses. She drops my hand to go knock on the alpha's door, then steps back. When she gets to me, she picks up my hand again.

I'm nervous. I don't want Terra to get in trouble for this. But before I suggest that we don't hold hands, it's too late.

The alpha comes out of his office. With his beta, and several enforcers, trailing after.

They arrange themselves on the steps leading up to the small wooden structure.

Thorne folds his arms. "Rylan."

"Thorne."

"That's alpha to you," Evander snaps from Thorne's side.

Chet is just glaring at us from his position in front of the alpha.

I throw back my shoulders. "I need to talk to you."

"Pretty sure I made it very clear that you wouldn't be doing any of that in the near future. Or distant future. Or ever," Thorne glowers.

I nod. "I understand. And I spent two years away. But… I need to tell you something. Please, Thorne."

It's painful to beg. Especially in front of the wider pack, who are clearly watching us like we're on Broadway.

It's the most humiliating thing that I've ever done.

But. I need to.

Thorne studies me for a minute. Evander shifts on the balls of his feet, clearly upset with the situation.

"Fine. Office. Now," Thorne barks.

I drop Terra's hand, but she picks it up. "I'm coming with you," she whispers.

I look around. If I tell Terra to stay out here in front of the whole pack, then she's going to be just as embarrassed as I was a few minutes ago.

I can't do that to her.

"Terra. You have to stay out here," I murmur.

"I don't want to," she says stubbornly.

"Terra, sweetheart," Rhea's voice drifts softly over my shoulder. She must have been in the crowd that's gathering out front. She's focused on Terra, and my heart aches to explain everything to her, but she just holds out her hand to her daughter. "Come with me."

I turn to look at Terra's mom and nod. She looks at me with curiosity but doesn't say anything. She leads Terra away, and I turn.

I follow Thorne and the others inside.

Thorne settlesinto the leather chair in his office, and three enforcers file in behind me.

Zander, who is a halfway decent guy.

Evander, who hates me just as much as I hate him.

And Chet.

My skin prickles. I'm aware that Chet is standing right behind me. That makes me decidedly uneasy.

At this point, Thorne has to know that Terra and I are together. If he didn't know two years ago, it's clear now by our linked hands earlier.

Which also means he knows that I have something to lose.

Her.

"What do you need to tell me, Rylan James?"

Well, at least he remembers my name. I look him square in the eye. "Chet Sanders is taking money from the pack and using it to bet on illegal shifter fights."

From behind me, Chet explodes. "He's a fucking liar, Alpha," he snarls, pushing past us to stand next to Thorne. "He lied about the money then, and he's lying about it now."

Thorne stares at me. "I thought you learned this lesson, James."

"I said the same thing then, and I'll say it again."

"Alpha," Chet sneers. "You have to know that I'd never do that. Just because my dad was into that, doesn't mean that I am."

"Do you have any proof?"

I stand very still. "I was there when he bragged to a bookie that he had unlimited resources from his pack."

"Fucking liar." Chet steps forward.

Thorne holds up a hand, and Evander grabs Chet's shoulder. "How is it possible that you were there, James?"

Fuck. This is the part I didn't want to talk about. It's going to destroy my credibility. However, there's no way to explain this without telling the truth.

"I was there because I was the one fighting. He bet against me and lost it all."

"You son of a…"

"So you're telling me that you're confessing to fighting in an illegal fighting ring?"

I brace. "Yes."

"And why did you decide to make this choice?"

"I didn't have any other skills after I left the pack, Alpha," I say from between heavily clenched teeth. "It's the only thing I've ever been good at."

Thorne looks at me. He looks over at Chet.

Chet says, in the most pathetic voice I've ever heard, "Come on, Alpha. You know me. You know I'd never. What my dad did hurt me as much as what yours did. I'd never act like him," he whines.

He's lying through his teeth.

Thorne nods. He turns back to me. "You were never supposed to contact anyone in the pack again."

"I know."

"You have an hour. If you do not leave pack lands in that time, I'll order them to kill you," he says evenly.

I shut my eyes. It's the same as my banishment two years ago. Everything feels exactly the same. The hurried departure, the fact that he believes this slimeball over me.

"And James?"

I open my eyes.

"This time, do not come back."